Ladies, gentlemen and subscription podcast listeners. I am broadcasting from somewhere off the coast of South America. The voyage is going well and Captain Cleaver assures me that the Dirty Secret will reach Antarctica in a few weeks as long as we don’t have any more attacks.
I was hoping to conduct this podcast with our sex blogger, Naked-Heart, but she refuses to have anything to do with what she calls, “Patriarchal Studies.” Naked-Heart has also changed her blogger name to Velvet-Thighs. She is still a part of the expedition but she insists that she is keeping her own records that are “free of the taint of testicle bias.”
Personally, I blame Velvet-Thighs’ behavior on Dr. Vette. The young blogger has been spending all of her time with the cat biologist. The screams of pleasure I hear coming from their cabin when I put my ear to the door has led me to conclude that they are having a Sapphic tryst.
Anyway, the voyage has not been without the usual hiccups. We were briefly interrupted last week when Mexican Sex Robots tried to hijack our ship. Not many people know this, but Mexico created far too many beautiful sexy female robots back in the 70’s in order to create the commercially successful Donkey Shows of that period. You don’t think real women were having sex with donkeys, do you? No, they were all sex robots.
With the collapse of the Donkey Show tourist bubble in 1983, most of the Mexican Sex Robots went rogue. Some started strip clubs posing as vampires but quite a few became pirates. We were attacked by such a band of sexy robot pirates last week. The screaming Hispanic beauties with giant tits and high stress bodies were pretty fearsome but out own crew of reformed Somalian pirates beat them off quite easily.
We didn’t have any casualties except that Professor Banwitz was critically injured. He tried to get some measurements from the anal cavity of what we thought was a defunct sex robot but alas, the robot’s sphincter was still active and it crushed his hand. Professor Banwitz was screaming that we take him to a hospital but we wisely refused his requests. The voyage must go on!
In other news, Mr. Xavier has been training us all in the art of Antarctic explorations. He has turned the Water Sports room of the Dirty Secret into a pseudo Antarctic environment but turning the air conditioner all the way down. He insists that we train butt-naked in the chilly 50 degree room to prepare ourselves for the cold.
Some of the other expedition members think this is bullshit but personally I think that there is some merit to his methods. For example, I have discovered that Dr. Nagi has the loveliest looking pussy hairs that I have ever seen.
That is all the time I have for now. It is my turn to be on lookout duty for any more Mexican Sex Robot pirates.
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Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Fiction: Guest Accommodations
Explorer’s Log: I have spent six days with the Mur, the dominant intelligent species in the star system designated Soft Moan of the Queen by Royal Astronomers. The Mur are a race that prize scientific achievement above all other things. They pose no threat to the Queen and they are likely to provide many advances in science and philosophy under proper negotiations.
I have spent six days as their guest and they have shown me every courtesy. They stand at twice my height and yet have a gentle nature about them. I have been taken on tours of their finest museums, research laboratories and debate coliseums. I have been given luxurious quarters and as much food and music as I can gorge myself on. I shall spend two more days here before moving on. End Explorer’s Log
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck me with a comet, I am so damn bored. Six days here and not a single one of these Mur have tried to fuck me. If I don’t get laid soon, I am going to recommend a Class Four Humiliation Conquest on these lanky assholes.
Vaquel Di took the hand of the Mur scientists and placed it directly on her brown breast. She was wearing the traditional Euphorian casual wear, which was a thong and push up bra. She pressed the Mur’s fingers against her buoyant breast.
“Doesn’t that feel nice?” Vaquel said. “I’ve seen the breasts on your fems. I may only have two instead of their three, but mine are much larger.”
The Mur licked his lips with his three tongues. His name was Qu-ee and he was her primary contact for his species. He was some sort of biologist and science politician. He was a nice guy and Vaquel really wanted to fuck his face and feel all three of his tongues inside her.
“Va-quel, please!” Qe-ee said. He tried to pull his fingers away but Vaquel held onto them. “I shouldn’t touch you without at least observing the seven rites of decontamination, much less touching your fleshy parts!”
“You should only touch her breasts with a regulation distance probe!” We-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s brother and assistant.
“And only then with three observers to maintain scientific purity!” Ee-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s other brother and assistant. The Mur felt siblings were very important to efficiency.
“Don’t we have enough observers now?” Vaquel asked. She pointed at the glass panels in the ceiling of her quarters. A dozen Mur scientists stood above the ceiling looking down. All of them were taking notes. Vaquel hadn’t complained when she first saw the scientists a week ago because after months of being alone, she found the constant observation to be kind of nice.
“Please let go, Va-quel,” Qe-ee said. “If contact is prolonged, I might lose the next election!”
“What is with you guys?” Vaquel yelled. She pushed Qu-ee’s hand away. The frantic scientist pulled out a spray bottle and disinfected his hand.
“I don’t get you guys at all,” Vaquel said. “I met three Mur orbiting a gas planet and they fucked me in less than five minutes. Not a single one of you fucks have even groped me!”
“Those were low citizens!” We-ee said. “That is why they were on a mining station. Their low test scores, lack of fealty to testing procedure and blatant disregard for scientific purity makes them good candidates for remote missions!”
Ee-ee nodded frantically. “They shouldn’t have had intimate relationships with you at all! That is how germ hybridization starts!”
Vaquel sighed. “Look, I need to fuck, okay? I travel alone and all my dildoes are getting old. I need to get laid. I’m sure you can find some way to get one of your Mur, or several Mur, to fuck me and call it a science experiment. Right? You’re smart guys, help me out.”
The Mur looked down on her. Qe-ee sprayed his other hand with disinfectant for good measure. As he washed his hand, he kept staring at her bountiful dark breasts.
“Your species appears to have a high sexual drive,” Qe-ee said. “That would explain your vulgarity and forwardness.”
“Such a high sexual drive might be unhealthy to frustrate,” We-ee said. “We could be risking harm to her by denying her pleasure.”
Ee-ee almost reached down to touch her breast before stopping himself. “Making sure Va-quel achieve sexual satisfaction is the only humane thing to do.”
Vaquel nodded. “What he said. Fuck me for my own good.”
The three Mur smiled. Vaquel smiled. She had them! Praise the Queen!
“Come brothers!” Qe-ee said. “Let’s go form an exploratory committee!”
The Mur left in a hurry. Vaquel stared at them and growled.
“Make that a Class Five Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “With Castration Camps.”
An hour later, three Mur that Vaquel didn’t recognize came into the room. They carried a heavy object between the three of them. It was a ball made of some sort of plush material. Several funnels projected from random sides. When she looked closer at it, the plush material seemed to be some sort of fur.
“You press this button,” one of the Mur said. All three rushed out of the room.
Vaquel looked up. There were a lot of scientists watching from the ceiling. She counted thirty at least. Only half of them were taking notes though. The other half seemed to just be leering.
She took a look at the fur ball. The funnels attracted her attention. They wear soft to the touch. When she pressed down on one, a little fluid appeared. She rubbed her fingers together and noted how slippery it was.
A smile broke across her face. Was this a Mur sex toy? She would prefer a real cock but hey, this will do nicely.
Vaquel pressed the button. Nothing happened. The scientists above her watched intently. For one brief moment she worried that this was some sort of intelligence test and she was the one being tested.
“Fuck it,” Vaquel said. She didn’t need fancy gizmos to get off. All she needed was a soft place to rub and she was good to go. Vaquel wiggled out of her thong and tossed it aside. She straddled the furball and lowered herself on one of the funnels. The funnel molded against the pink bush of her pubic hair. At least part didn’t need a button.
Vaquel moved her hips and pressed her sex against the funnel. It was nice, but not quite stimulating enough. In annoyance, she tried the button again. This time there was a hum of motors and the ball lifted six feet in the air.
“Queen’s tits!” Vaquel cried. Her space explorer training kicked in and her thighs tightened around the ball. She kept her balance as the ball bounced slowly in the air.
“This would be just about crotch height on a Mur,” Vaquel said out loud. She wanted to scientists to know she was smarter than she looked.
She forgot about the scientists as the funnel came to life. What felt like multiple tongues began licking at her sex. They licked at her rapidly as if she had an entire Navy squadron between her legs.
“Yes!” Vaquel cried out. This is what she needed. She grabbed two tufts of fur with her hands and held on.
The tongues vibrated and Vaquel tossed her head back in delight. She looked up at the Mur scientists watching her. Thirty males and females of that frigid species watched her with inquisitive eyes.
“Like what you see?” Vaquel said. She stripped off her bra and tossed it aside. She grabbed her brown breasts and squeezed. Her fingers sank into her soft flesh as she showed them what they were missing.
The ball bounced slowly in the air while Vaquel held on with her thighs. The funnel vibrated as the mechanical tongues licked at her sex. The funnel edges moved and nibbled in a close approximation of a real mouth. Unlike a real mouth, this one never had to come up for air.
“Fuck me,” Vaquel cried. She leaned back on the floating ball so the scientists could see better. She grabbed her nipples and pulled on them so the Mur could appreciate her large breasts. Some of the scientists had dropped their notes while one trio was on their knees.
The tongues moved away and Vaquel pouted. She looked for another button to press. Before she could find one, she felt something new touch her sex. It was long, thin and vibrated.
“Fuck me, you magnificent fur ball!” Vaquel cried. The thin rod penetrated her. It grew longer and longer until her cunt was completely filled. When she couldn’t take anymore, the rod moved back and forth like a passionate lover.
Vaquel laughed with pleasure. The top half of her body undulated on top of the fur ball. She threw every bit of her flexibility into it as she put on a show for the scientists. Those assholes needed to know what they were missing.
She felt something pressed against her ass. Vaquel turned around and saw one of the other funnels was snaking towards her anus. The funnel applied itself to her ass and she soon felt more tongues licking her asshole.
“You’re best species ever!” Vaquel yelled to the scientists. “Seriously, I love you guys!”
More of the Mur were on their hands and knees to watch. Quite a few had given up the pretense of taking notes. Vaquel was amazed by how many of their heads moved in perfect synchronicity with her tits.
The rod in her sex increased in speed. The vibrations grew stronger and the funnel produced more lubricant. The tongues on her ass were getting bolder and were opening her anus. The bottom half of Vaquel’s body was an orgy of sensation.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out. Her orgasm blossomed within her and she almost fell off the fur ball. After days of waiting to get laid, she had a lot of tension to release.
The tongues kept licking her ass while the rod gently eased out of her. The fur ball sank to the ground where Vaquel slid off the ball. She lay on the floor for a good five minutes and watched the frustrated scientists above her.
“Okay, maybe just a Class One Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “On second thought, if they don’t let me take this ball with me, it is Class Five for sure.”
I have spent six days as their guest and they have shown me every courtesy. They stand at twice my height and yet have a gentle nature about them. I have been taken on tours of their finest museums, research laboratories and debate coliseums. I have been given luxurious quarters and as much food and music as I can gorge myself on. I shall spend two more days here before moving on. End Explorer’s Log
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck me with a comet, I am so damn bored. Six days here and not a single one of these Mur have tried to fuck me. If I don’t get laid soon, I am going to recommend a Class Four Humiliation Conquest on these lanky assholes.
Vaquel Di took the hand of the Mur scientists and placed it directly on her brown breast. She was wearing the traditional Euphorian casual wear, which was a thong and push up bra. She pressed the Mur’s fingers against her buoyant breast.
“Doesn’t that feel nice?” Vaquel said. “I’ve seen the breasts on your fems. I may only have two instead of their three, but mine are much larger.”
The Mur licked his lips with his three tongues. His name was Qu-ee and he was her primary contact for his species. He was some sort of biologist and science politician. He was a nice guy and Vaquel really wanted to fuck his face and feel all three of his tongues inside her.
“Va-quel, please!” Qe-ee said. He tried to pull his fingers away but Vaquel held onto them. “I shouldn’t touch you without at least observing the seven rites of decontamination, much less touching your fleshy parts!”
“You should only touch her breasts with a regulation distance probe!” We-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s brother and assistant.
“And only then with three observers to maintain scientific purity!” Ee-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s other brother and assistant. The Mur felt siblings were very important to efficiency.
“Don’t we have enough observers now?” Vaquel asked. She pointed at the glass panels in the ceiling of her quarters. A dozen Mur scientists stood above the ceiling looking down. All of them were taking notes. Vaquel hadn’t complained when she first saw the scientists a week ago because after months of being alone, she found the constant observation to be kind of nice.
“Please let go, Va-quel,” Qe-ee said. “If contact is prolonged, I might lose the next election!”
“What is with you guys?” Vaquel yelled. She pushed Qu-ee’s hand away. The frantic scientist pulled out a spray bottle and disinfected his hand.
“I don’t get you guys at all,” Vaquel said. “I met three Mur orbiting a gas planet and they fucked me in less than five minutes. Not a single one of you fucks have even groped me!”
“Those were low citizens!” We-ee said. “That is why they were on a mining station. Their low test scores, lack of fealty to testing procedure and blatant disregard for scientific purity makes them good candidates for remote missions!”
Ee-ee nodded frantically. “They shouldn’t have had intimate relationships with you at all! That is how germ hybridization starts!”
Vaquel sighed. “Look, I need to fuck, okay? I travel alone and all my dildoes are getting old. I need to get laid. I’m sure you can find some way to get one of your Mur, or several Mur, to fuck me and call it a science experiment. Right? You’re smart guys, help me out.”
The Mur looked down on her. Qe-ee sprayed his other hand with disinfectant for good measure. As he washed his hand, he kept staring at her bountiful dark breasts.
“Your species appears to have a high sexual drive,” Qe-ee said. “That would explain your vulgarity and forwardness.”
“Such a high sexual drive might be unhealthy to frustrate,” We-ee said. “We could be risking harm to her by denying her pleasure.”
Ee-ee almost reached down to touch her breast before stopping himself. “Making sure Va-quel achieve sexual satisfaction is the only humane thing to do.”
Vaquel nodded. “What he said. Fuck me for my own good.”
The three Mur smiled. Vaquel smiled. She had them! Praise the Queen!
“Come brothers!” Qe-ee said. “Let’s go form an exploratory committee!”
The Mur left in a hurry. Vaquel stared at them and growled.
“Make that a Class Five Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “With Castration Camps.”
An hour later, three Mur that Vaquel didn’t recognize came into the room. They carried a heavy object between the three of them. It was a ball made of some sort of plush material. Several funnels projected from random sides. When she looked closer at it, the plush material seemed to be some sort of fur.
“You press this button,” one of the Mur said. All three rushed out of the room.
Vaquel looked up. There were a lot of scientists watching from the ceiling. She counted thirty at least. Only half of them were taking notes though. The other half seemed to just be leering.
She took a look at the fur ball. The funnels attracted her attention. They wear soft to the touch. When she pressed down on one, a little fluid appeared. She rubbed her fingers together and noted how slippery it was.
A smile broke across her face. Was this a Mur sex toy? She would prefer a real cock but hey, this will do nicely.
Vaquel pressed the button. Nothing happened. The scientists above her watched intently. For one brief moment she worried that this was some sort of intelligence test and she was the one being tested.
“Fuck it,” Vaquel said. She didn’t need fancy gizmos to get off. All she needed was a soft place to rub and she was good to go. Vaquel wiggled out of her thong and tossed it aside. She straddled the furball and lowered herself on one of the funnels. The funnel molded against the pink bush of her pubic hair. At least part didn’t need a button.
Vaquel moved her hips and pressed her sex against the funnel. It was nice, but not quite stimulating enough. In annoyance, she tried the button again. This time there was a hum of motors and the ball lifted six feet in the air.
“Queen’s tits!” Vaquel cried. Her space explorer training kicked in and her thighs tightened around the ball. She kept her balance as the ball bounced slowly in the air.
“This would be just about crotch height on a Mur,” Vaquel said out loud. She wanted to scientists to know she was smarter than she looked.
She forgot about the scientists as the funnel came to life. What felt like multiple tongues began licking at her sex. They licked at her rapidly as if she had an entire Navy squadron between her legs.
“Yes!” Vaquel cried out. This is what she needed. She grabbed two tufts of fur with her hands and held on.
The tongues vibrated and Vaquel tossed her head back in delight. She looked up at the Mur scientists watching her. Thirty males and females of that frigid species watched her with inquisitive eyes.
“Like what you see?” Vaquel said. She stripped off her bra and tossed it aside. She grabbed her brown breasts and squeezed. Her fingers sank into her soft flesh as she showed them what they were missing.
The ball bounced slowly in the air while Vaquel held on with her thighs. The funnel vibrated as the mechanical tongues licked at her sex. The funnel edges moved and nibbled in a close approximation of a real mouth. Unlike a real mouth, this one never had to come up for air.
“Fuck me,” Vaquel cried. She leaned back on the floating ball so the scientists could see better. She grabbed her nipples and pulled on them so the Mur could appreciate her large breasts. Some of the scientists had dropped their notes while one trio was on their knees.
The tongues moved away and Vaquel pouted. She looked for another button to press. Before she could find one, she felt something new touch her sex. It was long, thin and vibrated.
“Fuck me, you magnificent fur ball!” Vaquel cried. The thin rod penetrated her. It grew longer and longer until her cunt was completely filled. When she couldn’t take anymore, the rod moved back and forth like a passionate lover.
Vaquel laughed with pleasure. The top half of her body undulated on top of the fur ball. She threw every bit of her flexibility into it as she put on a show for the scientists. Those assholes needed to know what they were missing.
She felt something pressed against her ass. Vaquel turned around and saw one of the other funnels was snaking towards her anus. The funnel applied itself to her ass and she soon felt more tongues licking her asshole.
“You’re best species ever!” Vaquel yelled to the scientists. “Seriously, I love you guys!”
More of the Mur were on their hands and knees to watch. Quite a few had given up the pretense of taking notes. Vaquel was amazed by how many of their heads moved in perfect synchronicity with her tits.
The rod in her sex increased in speed. The vibrations grew stronger and the funnel produced more lubricant. The tongues on her ass were getting bolder and were opening her anus. The bottom half of Vaquel’s body was an orgy of sensation.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out. Her orgasm blossomed within her and she almost fell off the fur ball. After days of waiting to get laid, she had a lot of tension to release.
The tongues kept licking her ass while the rod gently eased out of her. The fur ball sank to the ground where Vaquel slid off the ball. She lay on the floor for a good five minutes and watched the frustrated scientists above her.
“Okay, maybe just a Class One Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “On second thought, if they don’t let me take this ball with me, it is Class Five for sure.”
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Fiction: Magic Cock
Look, before we get started, I want to warn you about something. No, I’m not married. No, I don’t have an STD. Can you let me finish? Christ, stop trying to unzip my pants too. This is important.
I have a magic cock.
No, seriously. I know I said that at the bar but think about it, would a hot lady like you normally go home with a guy that looks like me? Yeah, I know. You never have one night stands but tonight is different. I have heard it before. This isn’t my first time at this pussy rodeo.
Come on, listen. I want you to be ready before you touch my cock. See, it has these powers and women just know on a subconscious level that I am packing magic cock. That is why you went home with me and that is why you are ripping my pants off. Oh shit, don’t touch it ye-
Ah hell. No, go on, keep crying. You need to get that out. Trust me, you will feel better after the tears are all out. You probably are thinking about a bad break up you had years ago, or maybe thinking about someone you never told that you loved? Am I right? Yeah, I knew it.
I would like to mention that you haven’t let go of my cock. You’re crying like a baby but you still have a grip on my cock. See what I mean? Magic cock.
No, I don’t mind. Keep a hold of it. It feels nice in your hand. Honestly, if I got turned off by crying, I would never get laid.
What does the magic cock do? Lady, all sorts of things. Most women realize they need to leave their boyfriends. Other women end up getting new jobs or moving to some other city. One girl I knew started stripping off her clothes and ran naked through the neighborhood. I have no idea what her deal was. The girl was seriously repressed.
How did I get a magic cock? Fuck if I know. It has always been this way. My first girlfriend found out she was a lesbian when she touched it. This cock is crazy shit.
Feeling better? Not scared? Okay, that’s good. Ready for more? I can roll with that.
Put my cock on your tongue. No, don’t stick it in your mouth yet. You got to go slow with the magic cock.
There we go. Yep, I can tell by your eyes that you just learned some serious enlightenment right there. No, don’t speak. Just let it sit on your tongue
Yeah, you might want to hold it. My cock gets all excited and won’t sit still. Keep it pressed to your tongue. Let whatever revelation come to you. You got to absorb that shit.
Don’t worry; I won’t come in your mouth. Yeah I know everyone says that but trust me, I won’t. If I come in your mouth, you will pass out from the world shattering wisdom. You’re smiling but it’s true. I’ve come in two girls’ mouth and both of them passed out. I had to take them to the hospital and both were in a coma for a week. Then get this, after they wake out of their coma, they both started cults. Both of them talked about the infinite spermy wisdom. It was really creepy.
Oh wait, I appreciate you wanting to go down on me but I am really close. We better slip it into your pussy right away. Don’t worry; even if I come in the next two minutes, you’ll be happy.
Oh fuck. Damn, this is a nice pussy. Tight and wet and everything I need.
See? You just came, didn’t you? Tell you the truth, I have learned to come quick because most women don’t last that long.
No, no, go ahead and tell me what you’re thinking about. You’re dying to tell me. I’ll just keep fucking.
You just realized something about your dad? No, that doesn’t surprise me. Really.
Mind if I grab your tit? Thanks.
You want to quit your job? Let me guess, is it because you only took the job because it was available and now it is killing your soul? Believe me, that is real common.
Mind if I play with your pussy hair a little? Thanks.
You just came again? Crazy isn’t it?
Wow, that is amazing about your sister. Twenty years of therapy would have never gotten that out, trust me.
Uh, can you stop talking about how your grandmother’s death changed your life? I am about to come here.
Fuck yes! Oh, damn I needed that.
Shh, it’s okay. You just cry. There is a lot to take in, I know. You’re a changed woman now. A year from now, you’ll have a job you love, a boyfriend that is right for you and some real control over your life.
You’re going to open a restaurant? That’s nice. Follow your dream, baby.
You know, I am glad it helped you. Some day I got to find me a magic pussy because I got all sorts of issues to work out. Shit, my alcoholic dad really did a number on-
Oh, you need to go? Hey, you don’t need to make something up, I get it. You got your life to get started on. You don’t want to hear about my problems. I won’t even ask for your number. I know better. You have a lot to work through and no time for a relationship.
Take care.
I have a magic cock.
No, seriously. I know I said that at the bar but think about it, would a hot lady like you normally go home with a guy that looks like me? Yeah, I know. You never have one night stands but tonight is different. I have heard it before. This isn’t my first time at this pussy rodeo.
Come on, listen. I want you to be ready before you touch my cock. See, it has these powers and women just know on a subconscious level that I am packing magic cock. That is why you went home with me and that is why you are ripping my pants off. Oh shit, don’t touch it ye-
Ah hell. No, go on, keep crying. You need to get that out. Trust me, you will feel better after the tears are all out. You probably are thinking about a bad break up you had years ago, or maybe thinking about someone you never told that you loved? Am I right? Yeah, I knew it.
I would like to mention that you haven’t let go of my cock. You’re crying like a baby but you still have a grip on my cock. See what I mean? Magic cock.
No, I don’t mind. Keep a hold of it. It feels nice in your hand. Honestly, if I got turned off by crying, I would never get laid.
What does the magic cock do? Lady, all sorts of things. Most women realize they need to leave their boyfriends. Other women end up getting new jobs or moving to some other city. One girl I knew started stripping off her clothes and ran naked through the neighborhood. I have no idea what her deal was. The girl was seriously repressed.
How did I get a magic cock? Fuck if I know. It has always been this way. My first girlfriend found out she was a lesbian when she touched it. This cock is crazy shit.
Feeling better? Not scared? Okay, that’s good. Ready for more? I can roll with that.
Put my cock on your tongue. No, don’t stick it in your mouth yet. You got to go slow with the magic cock.
There we go. Yep, I can tell by your eyes that you just learned some serious enlightenment right there. No, don’t speak. Just let it sit on your tongue
Yeah, you might want to hold it. My cock gets all excited and won’t sit still. Keep it pressed to your tongue. Let whatever revelation come to you. You got to absorb that shit.
Don’t worry; I won’t come in your mouth. Yeah I know everyone says that but trust me, I won’t. If I come in your mouth, you will pass out from the world shattering wisdom. You’re smiling but it’s true. I’ve come in two girls’ mouth and both of them passed out. I had to take them to the hospital and both were in a coma for a week. Then get this, after they wake out of their coma, they both started cults. Both of them talked about the infinite spermy wisdom. It was really creepy.
Oh wait, I appreciate you wanting to go down on me but I am really close. We better slip it into your pussy right away. Don’t worry; even if I come in the next two minutes, you’ll be happy.
Oh fuck. Damn, this is a nice pussy. Tight and wet and everything I need.
See? You just came, didn’t you? Tell you the truth, I have learned to come quick because most women don’t last that long.
No, no, go ahead and tell me what you’re thinking about. You’re dying to tell me. I’ll just keep fucking.
You just realized something about your dad? No, that doesn’t surprise me. Really.
Mind if I grab your tit? Thanks.
You want to quit your job? Let me guess, is it because you only took the job because it was available and now it is killing your soul? Believe me, that is real common.
Mind if I play with your pussy hair a little? Thanks.
You just came again? Crazy isn’t it?
Wow, that is amazing about your sister. Twenty years of therapy would have never gotten that out, trust me.
Uh, can you stop talking about how your grandmother’s death changed your life? I am about to come here.
Fuck yes! Oh, damn I needed that.
Shh, it’s okay. You just cry. There is a lot to take in, I know. You’re a changed woman now. A year from now, you’ll have a job you love, a boyfriend that is right for you and some real control over your life.
You’re going to open a restaurant? That’s nice. Follow your dream, baby.
You know, I am glad it helped you. Some day I got to find me a magic pussy because I got all sorts of issues to work out. Shit, my alcoholic dad really did a number on-
Oh, you need to go? Hey, you don’t need to make something up, I get it. You got your life to get started on. You don’t want to hear about my problems. I won’t even ask for your number. I know better. You have a lot to work through and no time for a relationship.
Take care.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Buy The Dark Lords of the Earth
This story is a tribute to the alien abduction fiction that I read and partially believed as a youth. It is also a mockery of some of the paranoid themes that is so prevalent in our culture, both current and in the past. Lastly, it was a chance for me to write about inexplicable perverts who lurk underground.
I also wrote this story during my chemo treatment and it was one of the things that helped me to smile during that awful time. No guilt or anything if you don't buy it, you monster.
The Dark Lords of the Earth can be bought by clicking this link.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Fiction: Happy State of Mind
Isaac Cox held his hand up. It was shaking. At six and a half feet tall, that was a lot of arm to be shaking. The black man looked at his hand in a sort of wonder. He had been scared plenty of times in his career as a bounty hunter and even more in his earlier time as a male stripper, but he had never been this scared. It was fascinating.
“What’s the matter, Sweetballs?” Olivia asked. Sweetballs was her new nickname for him. She usually came up with a new one every other month. It was one of the reasons he loved her so much.
Olivia Pusse' was his fantastic girlfriend, even more fantastic lover and even better partner. For a college cheerleader turned private detective, she was a hell of woman. The only thing bigger than her gorgeous tits and blonde hair was her heart.
He flashed her smile #21, the one that said loved every second that he was with her. “Maybe we should call for backup,” Isaac said. “The NRKKK will all be packing and we know there will be at least fifty of them. I know they’re having a meeting in a church but to these Bible humpers, that just means they want Jesus to bless their bullets.”
Olivia shook her head. “You really think the police will just arrest them? We’re in Arizona. You’ve had to show the police your birth certificate four times since we got here. For all we know, the NRKKK is made of police. Either we get them now, or this cock-regation is going to break up and go back underground. Remember what these hood fuckers did to that adult toy store?”
Isaac remembered. The National Rifle Klu Klux Klan was targeting any adult businesses that were operated by minorities. Not content with a simple drive by, these paramilitary fuckers were taking their time to capture, torture and execute the employees. That usually took an hour and Olivia was right, not a single policeman had shown up in time to stop it. It was up to them.
“I’m not afraid for me,” Isaac said. “I just don’t them to get their hands on you. You know what they would do with a white woman who worked with a black man? You saw the kind of sick shit they do.”
Olivia shook her head. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about me, Sweetballs, but you got to girl up and deal with it. Either we kill these fuckers tonight or they might get away clean. “
“Yeah, you’re right,” Isaac said. He looked at his hand and tried to will it to be still. It wasn’t working.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Olivia said. “Back when I was a cheerleader, I would get nervous before a game.”
“Oh God, you’re not going to tell me picture all those pale white rednecks naked are you?” Isaac said.
“Great, make me throw up before we go in there,” Olivia said. “No, I was going to tell you how before a game, I would go to my Happy Place. You know, a mental place where everything is perfect. I used to fantasize about being in a shoe store and naked Olympic swimmers would wait on me.”
Isaac laughed. “My happy place is balls deep in you while we watch cop shows.”
Olivia laughed. “I am pretty sure that is your Happy Fucking Place.”
She kissed him. It was out of the blue and unexpected. Their tongues danced with each other as if they knew this might be their last kiss. When they came up for air, Olivia spoke first.
“Now go to your Happy Killing Place,” she said.
Isaac picked up his twin steel pistols. He took a look at Olivia as she unzipped her leather jacket to reveal more cleavage. He heard laughter coming from the church. He was with his girlfriend about to hurt some very bad people. Yes, a Happy Killing Place. He could do that.
Isaac imagined Olivia getting ready this morning. She had put on a blue thong because few things made her want to shot something more than having a thong up her crack all day. She put on black jeans and then strapped on four guns along her thighs. A blue sports bra went on top of her lovely breasts. Olivia was a firm believer that a lot of cleavage distracted people trying to kill her. She was also a firm believer in proper tit support during a fight. She put a leather jacket over them and then filled her pockets with bullets. Her long blonde hair went into a tight bun so her enemies would have less to grab. She was a murderous beauty queen.
Isaac kicked the church doors open. A mass of rednecks wearing their white hunting cap hoods turned around. Isaac raised his pistols and didn’t bother to aim. He just pointed in the direction of the crowd and pulled the trigger.
Racists started screaming. Wet spots appeared on dozens of pants. A black guy with a gun was their worse nightmare come to life.
Olivia made the nightmare worse. She walked out from behind Isaac and leveled her shotgun at the racists. The ones in front ducked behind pews and the ones behind them were cut down by the spread of her shotgun rounds. Racist slurs turned into screams of mercy.
The surprise lasted for only a few seconds. Hundreds of guns were drawn from holsters, carrying cases and portable gun racks. Confronted with a black man and a white woman, the racists’ fears gave way to unspeakable rage. The looks of hatred were more intense than the look of hundreds of guns pointed at them.
Isaac moved to the left. Olivia went to the right. He couldn’t watch her as he fought but she was on his mind. He thought about Olivia going down on him. He pictured his cock disappearing in slow motion between Olivia’s hungry lips. The flicks of her tongue were burned into his memory. The fear melted away as his cock hardened.
He kept shooting as he walked. His old stripper moves kicked in and his body twisted, turned and move in a rhythm that the racists found impossible to draw a bead on. They were used to shooting cardboard targets, running immigrants and crying victims. Shooting someone who moved was a challenge that most couldn’t handle. Their bullets missed as the walls around Isaac disintegrated. A tremor of fear ran up his leg.
Isaac thought of Olivia punching a drunk last night. The guy was kicked out of the NRKKK for dating a Hispanic and he had some information. Olivia had put the guy’s head between her thighs and squeezed. The poor bastard started crying for his momma and said that his skull was cracking. He told them everything.
He holstered his pistols when they ran out of bullets. He pulled out an Uzi from his trench coat without even breaking stride. He aimed low and kneecaps disintegrated. Racists blacked out from the pain while their friends used their fallen bodies for cover.
Isaac thought of Olivia on her laptop. She was one hell of a researcher when it came to tracking gun sales. College must be good for something after all. Isaac loved to see a smart woman work. The fact that the blonde liked to work naked on her laptop was just the cream in the pastry filling.
He pulled a grenade from his belt and lobbed it at the back door. A crowd of cowardly NRKKK members were trying their best to make a strategic bug out. Too bad for them that Isaac and Olivia had chained the door shut just a few minutes ago. The grenade bounced into the crowd and reduced them to hamburger paste.
The bullets were coming closer. Either the NRKKK were becoming better shots or Isaac was slowing down. A single bullet could cripple him and with him down, Olivia would have a much harder time. She might even get captured. The terrible things they would do to her were enough to turn Isaac white.
A group of NRKKK members rushed him. Maybe they smelled fear. Maybe they just couldn’t resist putting a boot to a black man. More than likely, they knew what awful shots they were and needed to get in point blank range.
Isaac thought of Olivia. He thought of her perfect bouncing tits when she rode his cock. He thought of the way her lips get tight when she fired her guns. He thought of the way Olivia smiled at him when he said something nice about her. He thought about how much he loved that crazy white girl.
He stuck his leg up and the closest NRKKK member ran face first into his boot. He used the grip of his Uzi to smash in the skull of the second closest racist. He grabbed the hood of the third closest asshole and slammed his head into the nearest pew.
The fourth fuckwad lost his courage. He turned to run but Isaac hooked an arm around his neck and dragged him close to him. His new human shield screamed as Isaac fired his Uzi into the racists. When the racist felt Isaac’s erection pressing into his back, the NRKKK member wept like a baby.
Unable to dodge, Isaac was an easy target for the NRKKK. They had no hesitation to shooting his meat shield because they were damn happy to at least be hitting something. Isaac used that opportunity to get a better aim on the rapidly shrinking group of racists.
Ten seconds later, it was over. The entire NRKKK was dead. Isaac dropped the dead weight he was carrying. The smell of gunpowder and blood was strong but not nearly as strong as the overwhelming smell of piss.
Olivia walked over to him. She had changed out her shotgun for a nasty looking assault rifle that Isaac didn’t recognize. Her jacket was open and her blue sports bra was exposed.
“What do you think of my new gun, Sweetballs?” Olivia said. “The thing punched a hole through a guy deeper than when you ass fuck me!”
“Oh yeah?” Isaac said. He flashed her smile #76, the one that said everything is right in the world because she was here. That smile was easier and easier to do every day. “Why don’t you drop your pants and we’ll do a comparison right here?”
Olivia wiggled out of her jeans. Now it was time for Isaac to go to his Happy Fucking Place.
“What’s the matter, Sweetballs?” Olivia asked. Sweetballs was her new nickname for him. She usually came up with a new one every other month. It was one of the reasons he loved her so much.
Olivia Pusse' was his fantastic girlfriend, even more fantastic lover and even better partner. For a college cheerleader turned private detective, she was a hell of woman. The only thing bigger than her gorgeous tits and blonde hair was her heart.
He flashed her smile #21, the one that said loved every second that he was with her. “Maybe we should call for backup,” Isaac said. “The NRKKK will all be packing and we know there will be at least fifty of them. I know they’re having a meeting in a church but to these Bible humpers, that just means they want Jesus to bless their bullets.”
Olivia shook her head. “You really think the police will just arrest them? We’re in Arizona. You’ve had to show the police your birth certificate four times since we got here. For all we know, the NRKKK is made of police. Either we get them now, or this cock-regation is going to break up and go back underground. Remember what these hood fuckers did to that adult toy store?”
Isaac remembered. The National Rifle Klu Klux Klan was targeting any adult businesses that were operated by minorities. Not content with a simple drive by, these paramilitary fuckers were taking their time to capture, torture and execute the employees. That usually took an hour and Olivia was right, not a single policeman had shown up in time to stop it. It was up to them.
“I’m not afraid for me,” Isaac said. “I just don’t them to get their hands on you. You know what they would do with a white woman who worked with a black man? You saw the kind of sick shit they do.”
Olivia shook her head. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about me, Sweetballs, but you got to girl up and deal with it. Either we kill these fuckers tonight or they might get away clean. “
“Yeah, you’re right,” Isaac said. He looked at his hand and tried to will it to be still. It wasn’t working.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Olivia said. “Back when I was a cheerleader, I would get nervous before a game.”
“Oh God, you’re not going to tell me picture all those pale white rednecks naked are you?” Isaac said.
“Great, make me throw up before we go in there,” Olivia said. “No, I was going to tell you how before a game, I would go to my Happy Place. You know, a mental place where everything is perfect. I used to fantasize about being in a shoe store and naked Olympic swimmers would wait on me.”
Isaac laughed. “My happy place is balls deep in you while we watch cop shows.”
Olivia laughed. “I am pretty sure that is your Happy Fucking Place.”
She kissed him. It was out of the blue and unexpected. Their tongues danced with each other as if they knew this might be their last kiss. When they came up for air, Olivia spoke first.
“Now go to your Happy Killing Place,” she said.
Isaac picked up his twin steel pistols. He took a look at Olivia as she unzipped her leather jacket to reveal more cleavage. He heard laughter coming from the church. He was with his girlfriend about to hurt some very bad people. Yes, a Happy Killing Place. He could do that.
Isaac imagined Olivia getting ready this morning. She had put on a blue thong because few things made her want to shot something more than having a thong up her crack all day. She put on black jeans and then strapped on four guns along her thighs. A blue sports bra went on top of her lovely breasts. Olivia was a firm believer that a lot of cleavage distracted people trying to kill her. She was also a firm believer in proper tit support during a fight. She put a leather jacket over them and then filled her pockets with bullets. Her long blonde hair went into a tight bun so her enemies would have less to grab. She was a murderous beauty queen.
Isaac kicked the church doors open. A mass of rednecks wearing their white hunting cap hoods turned around. Isaac raised his pistols and didn’t bother to aim. He just pointed in the direction of the crowd and pulled the trigger.
Racists started screaming. Wet spots appeared on dozens of pants. A black guy with a gun was their worse nightmare come to life.
Olivia made the nightmare worse. She walked out from behind Isaac and leveled her shotgun at the racists. The ones in front ducked behind pews and the ones behind them were cut down by the spread of her shotgun rounds. Racist slurs turned into screams of mercy.
The surprise lasted for only a few seconds. Hundreds of guns were drawn from holsters, carrying cases and portable gun racks. Confronted with a black man and a white woman, the racists’ fears gave way to unspeakable rage. The looks of hatred were more intense than the look of hundreds of guns pointed at them.
Isaac moved to the left. Olivia went to the right. He couldn’t watch her as he fought but she was on his mind. He thought about Olivia going down on him. He pictured his cock disappearing in slow motion between Olivia’s hungry lips. The flicks of her tongue were burned into his memory. The fear melted away as his cock hardened.
He kept shooting as he walked. His old stripper moves kicked in and his body twisted, turned and move in a rhythm that the racists found impossible to draw a bead on. They were used to shooting cardboard targets, running immigrants and crying victims. Shooting someone who moved was a challenge that most couldn’t handle. Their bullets missed as the walls around Isaac disintegrated. A tremor of fear ran up his leg.
Isaac thought of Olivia punching a drunk last night. The guy was kicked out of the NRKKK for dating a Hispanic and he had some information. Olivia had put the guy’s head between her thighs and squeezed. The poor bastard started crying for his momma and said that his skull was cracking. He told them everything.
He holstered his pistols when they ran out of bullets. He pulled out an Uzi from his trench coat without even breaking stride. He aimed low and kneecaps disintegrated. Racists blacked out from the pain while their friends used their fallen bodies for cover.
Isaac thought of Olivia on her laptop. She was one hell of a researcher when it came to tracking gun sales. College must be good for something after all. Isaac loved to see a smart woman work. The fact that the blonde liked to work naked on her laptop was just the cream in the pastry filling.
He pulled a grenade from his belt and lobbed it at the back door. A crowd of cowardly NRKKK members were trying their best to make a strategic bug out. Too bad for them that Isaac and Olivia had chained the door shut just a few minutes ago. The grenade bounced into the crowd and reduced them to hamburger paste.
The bullets were coming closer. Either the NRKKK were becoming better shots or Isaac was slowing down. A single bullet could cripple him and with him down, Olivia would have a much harder time. She might even get captured. The terrible things they would do to her were enough to turn Isaac white.
A group of NRKKK members rushed him. Maybe they smelled fear. Maybe they just couldn’t resist putting a boot to a black man. More than likely, they knew what awful shots they were and needed to get in point blank range.
Isaac thought of Olivia. He thought of her perfect bouncing tits when she rode his cock. He thought of the way her lips get tight when she fired her guns. He thought of the way Olivia smiled at him when he said something nice about her. He thought about how much he loved that crazy white girl.
He stuck his leg up and the closest NRKKK member ran face first into his boot. He used the grip of his Uzi to smash in the skull of the second closest racist. He grabbed the hood of the third closest asshole and slammed his head into the nearest pew.
The fourth fuckwad lost his courage. He turned to run but Isaac hooked an arm around his neck and dragged him close to him. His new human shield screamed as Isaac fired his Uzi into the racists. When the racist felt Isaac’s erection pressing into his back, the NRKKK member wept like a baby.
Unable to dodge, Isaac was an easy target for the NRKKK. They had no hesitation to shooting his meat shield because they were damn happy to at least be hitting something. Isaac used that opportunity to get a better aim on the rapidly shrinking group of racists.
Ten seconds later, it was over. The entire NRKKK was dead. Isaac dropped the dead weight he was carrying. The smell of gunpowder and blood was strong but not nearly as strong as the overwhelming smell of piss.
Olivia walked over to him. She had changed out her shotgun for a nasty looking assault rifle that Isaac didn’t recognize. Her jacket was open and her blue sports bra was exposed.
“What do you think of my new gun, Sweetballs?” Olivia said. “The thing punched a hole through a guy deeper than when you ass fuck me!”
“Oh yeah?” Isaac said. He flashed her smile #76, the one that said everything is right in the world because she was here. That smile was easier and easier to do every day. “Why don’t you drop your pants and we’ll do a comparison right here?”
Olivia wiggled out of her jeans. Now it was time for Isaac to go to his Happy Fucking Place.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Dirty Books: Yolanda The Girl From Erosphere
Yolanda: The Girl from Erosphere is a 1975 science fiction erotica book written by Dominique Verseau although rumor has it that this is just a pseudonym for much more famous writer, Henri René Guieu. It is book one in a series that I am pretty sure never saw a book two. That is something of a problem as book one ends on a cliffhanger. What is it about? See, in the future, humanity gets a hell of a lot less uptight about sex and gets very open minded. Not open minded enough for male homosexuality apparently, but enough for casual sex between men and women and girl on girl action. Yolanda is a sexologist and she is picked to join a crew of three astronauts to go to a mysterious destination on a new space ship. The mission is top secret to the point that the astronauts are not told where they are going, but one of your crew is a sexologist, another is a linguistics expert and the other two are virile male mechanic types, the odds are you are going to sexy planet.
During the space flight, the four astronauts have a lot of sex. The female linguistics expert is what passes for a prude in this society as she take a little convincing before she will have sex but trust me, everyone is having sex in this book. I'd say 90% of the book is about sex acts but I am not a sexologist like Yolanda.
The other ten percent is interesting science fiction. Although it is not explicitly stated, it occurred to me that the premise of this society is that what if the sexual revolution of the 1970's kept going. Clothing is most transparent lingerie, people have an Age of Consent day where they discard their virginity and science is working hard on pills to help women's sphincters relax during anal sex. It is an interesting idea and one that could only have been written in 1975 before the sexual revolution ran into the AIDS terror of the 80's.
I also whole heartedly approve of the use of science in a lot of the sex scenes. I have this pet peeve about fantasy and science fiction erotica. A lot of writers will use the setting as a place for people to get laid without thinking about how people in a world with magic or super science would be using their setting to help them get off. This book is full of sexual aids that are unique to the setting. Artificial gravity is turned into a sex aid. Pills are made to relax your anus or flavor your sperm. This is not a book where people in funny costumes have sex just like you do. This is a book about space sex.
Which you better like because man, there is a lot of it. The majority of the book is about the casual fucking that takes place on a space ship. When aliens show up, they just join in the sex. It took me a week to read this slim book because sex, sex, sex just bored the shit, shit shit out of me.
Funny aside, the sex aliens in this book look an awful lot like the Engineers from the Prometheus movie. Which is hilarious in a kind of spoiler way that you will only get if you have seen the movie.
The other downside is that after 180 pages of frolicking casual sex, the books end with a gangbang rape of the main characters by other, nastier sex aliens. It was a real mood changer. I can only imagine that in the 70's, rape was just another sexual position because I keep running into fucking rape scenes in 70's porn books.
It is a shame that there never was a book two because I am pretty sure it would have been like Anne Rice's Beauty book except in space. Although I was often bored by the endless sex, I did enjoy the non-sex bits and I thought the imagination and science fiction was quite neat.
I give it Two out of Five Pam Griers.
Friday, June 08, 2012
Sha La La La La La
I'm busy writing. I am on chapter 13 of my possibly 15 chapters Haunted House novella. Being so close to the end of a novella is freaking exciting. It is all haunted house all the haunted time in my haunted head right now.
Which means I got jack shit that is new to post today. I do have a new favorite band and as you well know, this is very important. Heavy Young Heathens is my new obsession and I listen to their entire album about twice a day. I am sure they will be my all time favorite band until the next new thing I get obsessed with. In the meantime, enjoy the song that got me into them.
Which means I got jack shit that is new to post today. I do have a new favorite band and as you well know, this is very important. Heavy Young Heathens is my new obsession and I listen to their entire album about twice a day. I am sure they will be my all time favorite band until the next new thing I get obsessed with. In the meantime, enjoy the song that got me into them.
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Fiction: Professional Standards
The hood came off. Holly Valentine shook her head because if she was going to die, she didn’t want to die with hood hair. Her long red hair fell around her pale face like shimmering fire. There, now that she looked good, she could deal with what was happening.
She had been abducted as soon as she stepped into her hotel room. These things happen. She was an investigative reporter for INX and her list of enemies was as long as her shapely legs. The expose she wrote on Nazi Super PAC’s last week was just asking for assassins.
The man who took off her mask walked around to the front of her. He wasn’t what she was expecting. He had long curly hair and was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. Where were the shiny leather pants and the aerodynamic bald head? What kind of assassin was this?
“Dude,” Holly said. “Don’t you know that long hair means you have a greater chance to leave behind DNA evidence?”
The man slapped her. His hand moved so quick that she didn’t have time to brace herself. His hand smacked her head around and left a sting on her cheek. The fucker was fast.
“Call me, Villain,” he said. “And only sloppy assassins don’t take the time to bleach, vacuum and sterilize their work environment.”
“Good point, Villain,” Holly said. She always believed in cooperating with the people who have her tied up.
Holly took a good look at her location. Well this was odd. Instead of a dark cellar or an empty warehouse, it appeared that she was in someone’s house. She was tied to a chair in the living room to be exact. Several lights had been set up to illuminate the place, most likely to help the camera that was sitting on a tripod. There was another guy operating the camera and he was dressed just as casually as Villain was.
“What’s the camera for?” Holly asked. She was a reporter, she had questions.
Villain slapped the other side of her face. Holly felt the sting of his hand a split second before her head spun around.
“Ahhh,” Holly groaned. “I meant, what is the camera for, Villain?”
“Some clients like to see their targets die,” Villain say. “I also make extra money selling clips on web sites.”
“Damn, assassinating reporters doesn’t pay all the bills?” Holly asked. “Villain,” she added quickly before the hand could fly.
Villain shook his head. “The economy is tough, man.”
Holly nodded in sympathy. Her hands however were in constant motion. She couldn’t see the rope that had bound her hands but she was an expert in escaping bondage. She twisted her wrists into the Zombie Clutch, then rolled them into the Robber’s Swirl and followed through with the Spookshow Pull. There, that outwitted every decent knot.
She went to pull her hands free but the rope held on. The perky redhead frowned with concern. Shit, this wasn’t your average professional hitman’s knot. This guy was actually good!
“Say, Villain,” Holly said. She let her voice get husky and friendly. “Maybe this is a misunderstanding. Can you tell me who hired you and maybe I can clear this up.”
Villain ignored her. He pulled out a nasty looking knife. What frightened Holly about the knife is it lacked the weird serrated curves and dragon motifs on the hilt. This was a knife from someone’s kitchen. This wasn’t a knife for show; this was a knife for fucking cutting something.
Villain grabbed her blouse and placed the knife tip at her collar. He cut through her 120$ blouse like it was fucking saran wrap. With one quick slice he tore open her pricey blouse to reveal the even more expensive green bra underneath.
“Oh shit, not the bra, Villain!” Holly said. “You know how fucking hard it is to find a good bra for someone with my tits?”
The cruel bastard ignored her. His knife cut into the middle of her bra and both cups popped free. Holly heard the camera zoom in to focus on her heavy pale freckled breasts.
“Son of a bitch!” Holly yelled. She was furious now. Her life in danger was something she had gotten used to but tearing up her bras was just plain mean. Her wrists twisted, rolled and turned against her bonds. The rope held on like it was glued to her hands.
Villain grabbed a handful of tit and squeezed. Holly winced as his fingers mauled her soft flesh.
“Is this for the porn site or the client?” Holly asked.
“To tell the truth, this one is for me,” Villain said.
He was grabbing both breasts now. Her nipples were caught between his fingers and he cruelly twisted them. Holly kept from screaming as he did his damn best to twist her nipples off. When he released her nipples it was only so he could grab fresh handfuls of her tits.
He groped, pulled and squeezed her for the camera. The breast handling hurt but maybe not as much as the thought of this being recorded. She hated the idea that some bastard executive who ordered her death was now wacking off to her debasement. Hell, she wasn’t fond of a bunch of internet perverts getting their rocks off to her near death experience either. She might escape death today but it was doubtful that she would escape the humiliation of this getting on the internet.
What really bothered her was how turned on she was. It had been awhile since someone had abused her tits like this. It had been even longer since she had been tied up in a way that wasn’t easy to escape. For that matter, it had been ages since someone hated her enough to want her killed. It had been like, a month at least. The abduction, bondage and abuse were one hell of a turn on and it was distracting from her escape plan.
Holly’s escape plan was simple if a bit time consuming. It was called the Brenda technique. Holly kept moving her hands in complicated pattern of contortions that were designed to weaken the hold of restraining ropes. It would wear through any rope in time but the trick was to keep doing the routine without stopping. It was hard to keep up the rhythms when her pussy was clenching non stop.
An older reporter had taught Holly the trick one torrid night in Vegas. The older reporter said that she learned the trick from a reporter who used to get tied up by Railroad Barons in the Twenties. It was an escape routine passed down from female reporter to female reporter through the decades. Holly expected the trick was passed down from mouth to mouth and hand to pussy.
“Hey Villain, you seem like a nice guy,” Holly said through gritted teeth. His hand really knew how to crush a breast. “Can’t we work something out? Just between you me, and Hell, the camera man if he wants.”
Villain let go of her breast and moved behind her. Holly allowed herself a smile. She was getting good at this. She had talked an assassin out of her ropes in record time! All that practice in front of the mirror was paying off!”
Her glee turned sour as Villain walked back into view. He had a gun now.
“Holy shit!” Holly said. “You’re just going to waste me? Can’t we come to some sort of agreement? I don’t have much money but shit, I can get you Lindsey Lohan’s sex dungeon address! Just tell me what you want!”
Villain tilted his head to the side. “From what I had heard about you, Ms. Valentine, I would have thought that you would have offered me a blowjob by now.”
“Shit, is that all you want?” Holly said. “Unzip those jeans and stick your cock in my mouth already! I will suck the evil right out of you, Villain!”
Holly opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. Sure, it was vulgar and slutty, but she was a reporter. This wasn’t even in the top ten of trashy things she had done for a story much less for her life. It would also buy her more time for the Brenda technique to work.
Villain didn’t take much convincing. His jeans unzipped and he pulled his hard cock out for her. Holly realized that the chair she was sitting in was the perfect height for a good blowjob. The guy definitely planned ahead.
He grabbed her by her red hair and pulled her onto his cock. Holly’s open mouth slid right over his cock until she was face first in his jeans. He was hitting the back of her throat but Holly didn’t gag at all. She was an experienced reporter.
Villain fucked her face. He had her by the hair and there was nowhere for her to go. Holly noticed that Villain positioned himself so that the camera could see every moment. She tried to ignore it and just suck but damn, that was pretty humiliating. He had turned her from a reporter into a porn star.
It was pretty fucking hot.
Holly kept working through the Brenda combination. Her hands kept moving while Villain fucked her face. She had a hard time licking his cock and moving her hands at the same time but she came up with a solution. Her tongue did the same series of movements as her hands. Judging by the way that Villain was thrusting into her face, it was working.
Holly’s thighs clenched together. She had soaked through her panties. She briefly wondered if she could convince Villain to fuck her pussy next. It wouldn’t be a good idea as it would be impossible to hide the Brenda combination while being fucked but damn it, it was pretty damn tempting.
Villain reached down and grabbed on of her tits as she sucked. Holly moaned as his relentless fingers pinched and squeezed. Every pinch sent a fresh signal of desire to her poor neglected sex. She was awfully tempted to give up on the escape and just beg to be fucked.
Right as her will was about to broken, she felt a surge of seed in her mouth. Villain grunted as he filled her mouth with come. Holly swallowed because kidnapping assassins really hate it when you spit.
Villain pulled his cock out. “Damn, I have had my cock sucked by reporters, nurses and congresswomen, but you are the fucking best.”
“Thanks,” Holly said. “If you think my mouth is good, let me go and I’ll show you how much better my pussy is.”
Villain smiled. “Sorry, I’m on a deadline. And so are you.”
He pulled the gun back out. Villain pointed it at her and placed it on her temple.
“Oh come on!” Holly said. She meant to sound helpless and sad but it came across more as bitchy and defiant. Holly hadn’t mastered being helpless yet.
Behind her back, she felt the ropes loosen. She was almost there! She just had to stall for a minute longer!
“Give me five minutes with your cock,” Holly said. “Give me five minutes and I will make you come so hard that-“
Villain pulled the trigger.
The gun clicked. It was empty.
Villain turned to the camera. “And that concludes this demonstration. As you can see, I captured famed reporter, Holly Valentine, molested her and even had her beg to suck my cock. I had a gun to her head and she still didn’t escape. I didn’t kill her because I don’t kill for free. If you would like to see me kill one of your enemies, please contact the email appearing on your screen now. Good bye.”
The ropes fell from Holly’s hand. The Brenda combination had finally freed her. She stood up and grabbed the chair she was sitting on. Her blouse still open and her bruised tits exposed to the camera, Holly swung the chair at the back of Villain’s head.
The chair shattered on Villain. The asshole dropped like a rock and fell to the ground.
Holly looked at the camera guy. “This was a fucking demonstration? What am I? A goddamn preview clip?”
The camera guy held up his hands. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t going to let anyone hire him to kill you. He just wanted to show he could.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t he kill me for money?” Holly said.
The camera guy looked at the fallen Villain. “Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s a big fan of yours. He loved your report on how banks got were using orphans in sweatshops to process mortgage foreclosures.”
“Oh, Holly said. She was pissed but the man was a fan. She was conflicted. She was also really horny.
“He’s going to be pissed when he wakes up, right?” Holly said. “Probably want to tie me up and do all sorts of things to my body, right?”
The camera guy nodded slowly. “My car is out back. You can have the keys if you promise not to hurt me.”
“Fuck the car,” Holly said. “Help me wake Villain back up. I want to see what happens next.”
Villain appears courtesy of Tim Woodman, a fine bondage/kidnap/villainy enthusiast. I highly recommend any of his work. If Holly Valentine was a porn clip series, it would be on his site.
She had been abducted as soon as she stepped into her hotel room. These things happen. She was an investigative reporter for INX and her list of enemies was as long as her shapely legs. The expose she wrote on Nazi Super PAC’s last week was just asking for assassins.
The man who took off her mask walked around to the front of her. He wasn’t what she was expecting. He had long curly hair and was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. Where were the shiny leather pants and the aerodynamic bald head? What kind of assassin was this?
“Dude,” Holly said. “Don’t you know that long hair means you have a greater chance to leave behind DNA evidence?”
The man slapped her. His hand moved so quick that she didn’t have time to brace herself. His hand smacked her head around and left a sting on her cheek. The fucker was fast.
“Call me, Villain,” he said. “And only sloppy assassins don’t take the time to bleach, vacuum and sterilize their work environment.”
“Good point, Villain,” Holly said. She always believed in cooperating with the people who have her tied up.
Holly took a good look at her location. Well this was odd. Instead of a dark cellar or an empty warehouse, it appeared that she was in someone’s house. She was tied to a chair in the living room to be exact. Several lights had been set up to illuminate the place, most likely to help the camera that was sitting on a tripod. There was another guy operating the camera and he was dressed just as casually as Villain was.
“What’s the camera for?” Holly asked. She was a reporter, she had questions.
Villain slapped the other side of her face. Holly felt the sting of his hand a split second before her head spun around.
“Ahhh,” Holly groaned. “I meant, what is the camera for, Villain?”
“Some clients like to see their targets die,” Villain say. “I also make extra money selling clips on web sites.”
“Damn, assassinating reporters doesn’t pay all the bills?” Holly asked. “Villain,” she added quickly before the hand could fly.
Villain shook his head. “The economy is tough, man.”
Holly nodded in sympathy. Her hands however were in constant motion. She couldn’t see the rope that had bound her hands but she was an expert in escaping bondage. She twisted her wrists into the Zombie Clutch, then rolled them into the Robber’s Swirl and followed through with the Spookshow Pull. There, that outwitted every decent knot.
She went to pull her hands free but the rope held on. The perky redhead frowned with concern. Shit, this wasn’t your average professional hitman’s knot. This guy was actually good!
“Say, Villain,” Holly said. She let her voice get husky and friendly. “Maybe this is a misunderstanding. Can you tell me who hired you and maybe I can clear this up.”
Villain ignored her. He pulled out a nasty looking knife. What frightened Holly about the knife is it lacked the weird serrated curves and dragon motifs on the hilt. This was a knife from someone’s kitchen. This wasn’t a knife for show; this was a knife for fucking cutting something.
Villain grabbed her blouse and placed the knife tip at her collar. He cut through her 120$ blouse like it was fucking saran wrap. With one quick slice he tore open her pricey blouse to reveal the even more expensive green bra underneath.
“Oh shit, not the bra, Villain!” Holly said. “You know how fucking hard it is to find a good bra for someone with my tits?”
The cruel bastard ignored her. His knife cut into the middle of her bra and both cups popped free. Holly heard the camera zoom in to focus on her heavy pale freckled breasts.
“Son of a bitch!” Holly yelled. She was furious now. Her life in danger was something she had gotten used to but tearing up her bras was just plain mean. Her wrists twisted, rolled and turned against her bonds. The rope held on like it was glued to her hands.
Villain grabbed a handful of tit and squeezed. Holly winced as his fingers mauled her soft flesh.
“Is this for the porn site or the client?” Holly asked.
“To tell the truth, this one is for me,” Villain said.
He was grabbing both breasts now. Her nipples were caught between his fingers and he cruelly twisted them. Holly kept from screaming as he did his damn best to twist her nipples off. When he released her nipples it was only so he could grab fresh handfuls of her tits.
He groped, pulled and squeezed her for the camera. The breast handling hurt but maybe not as much as the thought of this being recorded. She hated the idea that some bastard executive who ordered her death was now wacking off to her debasement. Hell, she wasn’t fond of a bunch of internet perverts getting their rocks off to her near death experience either. She might escape death today but it was doubtful that she would escape the humiliation of this getting on the internet.
What really bothered her was how turned on she was. It had been awhile since someone had abused her tits like this. It had been even longer since she had been tied up in a way that wasn’t easy to escape. For that matter, it had been ages since someone hated her enough to want her killed. It had been like, a month at least. The abduction, bondage and abuse were one hell of a turn on and it was distracting from her escape plan.
Holly’s escape plan was simple if a bit time consuming. It was called the Brenda technique. Holly kept moving her hands in complicated pattern of contortions that were designed to weaken the hold of restraining ropes. It would wear through any rope in time but the trick was to keep doing the routine without stopping. It was hard to keep up the rhythms when her pussy was clenching non stop.
An older reporter had taught Holly the trick one torrid night in Vegas. The older reporter said that she learned the trick from a reporter who used to get tied up by Railroad Barons in the Twenties. It was an escape routine passed down from female reporter to female reporter through the decades. Holly expected the trick was passed down from mouth to mouth and hand to pussy.
“Hey Villain, you seem like a nice guy,” Holly said through gritted teeth. His hand really knew how to crush a breast. “Can’t we work something out? Just between you me, and Hell, the camera man if he wants.”
Villain let go of her breast and moved behind her. Holly allowed herself a smile. She was getting good at this. She had talked an assassin out of her ropes in record time! All that practice in front of the mirror was paying off!”
Her glee turned sour as Villain walked back into view. He had a gun now.
“Holy shit!” Holly said. “You’re just going to waste me? Can’t we come to some sort of agreement? I don’t have much money but shit, I can get you Lindsey Lohan’s sex dungeon address! Just tell me what you want!”
Villain tilted his head to the side. “From what I had heard about you, Ms. Valentine, I would have thought that you would have offered me a blowjob by now.”
“Shit, is that all you want?” Holly said. “Unzip those jeans and stick your cock in my mouth already! I will suck the evil right out of you, Villain!”
Holly opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. Sure, it was vulgar and slutty, but she was a reporter. This wasn’t even in the top ten of trashy things she had done for a story much less for her life. It would also buy her more time for the Brenda technique to work.
Villain didn’t take much convincing. His jeans unzipped and he pulled his hard cock out for her. Holly realized that the chair she was sitting in was the perfect height for a good blowjob. The guy definitely planned ahead.
He grabbed her by her red hair and pulled her onto his cock. Holly’s open mouth slid right over his cock until she was face first in his jeans. He was hitting the back of her throat but Holly didn’t gag at all. She was an experienced reporter.
Villain fucked her face. He had her by the hair and there was nowhere for her to go. Holly noticed that Villain positioned himself so that the camera could see every moment. She tried to ignore it and just suck but damn, that was pretty humiliating. He had turned her from a reporter into a porn star.
It was pretty fucking hot.
Holly kept working through the Brenda combination. Her hands kept moving while Villain fucked her face. She had a hard time licking his cock and moving her hands at the same time but she came up with a solution. Her tongue did the same series of movements as her hands. Judging by the way that Villain was thrusting into her face, it was working.
Holly’s thighs clenched together. She had soaked through her panties. She briefly wondered if she could convince Villain to fuck her pussy next. It wouldn’t be a good idea as it would be impossible to hide the Brenda combination while being fucked but damn it, it was pretty damn tempting.
Villain reached down and grabbed on of her tits as she sucked. Holly moaned as his relentless fingers pinched and squeezed. Every pinch sent a fresh signal of desire to her poor neglected sex. She was awfully tempted to give up on the escape and just beg to be fucked.
Right as her will was about to broken, she felt a surge of seed in her mouth. Villain grunted as he filled her mouth with come. Holly swallowed because kidnapping assassins really hate it when you spit.
Villain pulled his cock out. “Damn, I have had my cock sucked by reporters, nurses and congresswomen, but you are the fucking best.”
“Thanks,” Holly said. “If you think my mouth is good, let me go and I’ll show you how much better my pussy is.”
Villain smiled. “Sorry, I’m on a deadline. And so are you.”
He pulled the gun back out. Villain pointed it at her and placed it on her temple.
“Oh come on!” Holly said. She meant to sound helpless and sad but it came across more as bitchy and defiant. Holly hadn’t mastered being helpless yet.
Behind her back, she felt the ropes loosen. She was almost there! She just had to stall for a minute longer!
“Give me five minutes with your cock,” Holly said. “Give me five minutes and I will make you come so hard that-“
Villain pulled the trigger.
The gun clicked. It was empty.
Villain turned to the camera. “And that concludes this demonstration. As you can see, I captured famed reporter, Holly Valentine, molested her and even had her beg to suck my cock. I had a gun to her head and she still didn’t escape. I didn’t kill her because I don’t kill for free. If you would like to see me kill one of your enemies, please contact the email appearing on your screen now. Good bye.”
The ropes fell from Holly’s hand. The Brenda combination had finally freed her. She stood up and grabbed the chair she was sitting on. Her blouse still open and her bruised tits exposed to the camera, Holly swung the chair at the back of Villain’s head.
The chair shattered on Villain. The asshole dropped like a rock and fell to the ground.
Holly looked at the camera guy. “This was a fucking demonstration? What am I? A goddamn preview clip?”
The camera guy held up his hands. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t going to let anyone hire him to kill you. He just wanted to show he could.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t he kill me for money?” Holly said.
The camera guy looked at the fallen Villain. “Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s a big fan of yours. He loved your report on how banks got were using orphans in sweatshops to process mortgage foreclosures.”
“Oh, Holly said. She was pissed but the man was a fan. She was conflicted. She was also really horny.
“He’s going to be pissed when he wakes up, right?” Holly said. “Probably want to tie me up and do all sorts of things to my body, right?”
The camera guy nodded slowly. “My car is out back. You can have the keys if you promise not to hurt me.”
“Fuck the car,” Holly said. “Help me wake Villain back up. I want to see what happens next.”
Villain appears courtesy of Tim Woodman, a fine bondage/kidnap/villainy enthusiast. I highly recommend any of his work. If Holly Valentine was a porn clip series, it would be on his site.
Monday, June 04, 2012
I Highly Reccomend Full Metal Orgasm
I am pretty biased when it comes to this e-magazine because it is a dream come true to someone like me. It combines the aggressive science fiction of your favorite period of the magazine, Heavy Metal, with an emphasis on sex, sex, filthy sex. More impressive is that although Heavy Metal was a big influence, this is a prose magazine. It is all text and a celebration of text. As a teen I bought Heavy Metal for the drawn tits and drawn violence and now I get Full Metal Orgasm for the written perversity and incredibly violent ideas. It is that rare publication that inspires me instead of making me roll my eyes at the state of the industry.
If you have any affection for shit that will blow your mind and make you wince and moan at the same time, then buy this e-magazine. I want to have a hundred issues of this and that is only going to happen if you buy it and tell your perverted friends.
Friday, June 01, 2012
Launch of the Dirty Secret
Ladies, gentlemen and esteemed members of the Weekly World News, welcome to our final pre-expedition press release. I am Professor Rios and I will be leading a research team into the deepest parts of Antarctica in search of the mysterious Land of Cat-Women!
I was fortunate to have the backing of several adventure minded anthropologists as well as generous grants from the Furry community. I would like to take this moment to thank noted Furry community member, Lord Fluffmuffer, who personally donated one million dollars for top of the line video cameras and cat scratch boards. I also want to thank Dr. Otto Von Madd, who provided high quality condoms designed for most humanoid sexual organs.
We will be making our voyage on the Dirty Secret, a cargo ship that was retrofitted in the 70’s into a floating swappers’ club but now has been re-retrofitted into a frozen water explorer. We took out the fur room and replaced it with our computers but we kept the hydroponics bay to store food and cat nip.
Our Captain, Oswald Cleaver, assures me that this ship can safely reach Antarctica and that his crew of ruthless but lovable reformed Somalian pirates is up to the task. He is looking forward to the voyage and has already let his back hair grow out in anticipation of the cold voyage.
Let me introduce the brave adventurers accompanying us.
Ian Xavier will be our lead explorer and expedition guide. Mr. Xavier has been to the deepest parts of the Amazon Jungle, fought savage intelligent monkeys in the wilds of Africa and once spent a frightening year in the small towns of North Carolina. Mr. Xavier has never been to Antarctica but after dealing with BBQ doused in vinegar in North Carolina, Mr. Xavier says that Antarctica will be a piece of cake.
Aiding him will be noted explorer, Ulysses Cameron. Mr. Cameron is better known for his series of survival shows where he is dumped in some hellhole like Utah and is forced to survive on his own piss and scavenged bags of potato chips in the wild. Mr. Cameron also has never been to the Antarctica but he has an amazing ass which experts think will mean a lot to the anal fixated Cat-Woman.
Doctor Yolanda Vette will be our biologist on this trip. Ms. Vette is a cat expert and noted cat lover who has been banned from seventeen zoos for unlawful carnal experiments with tigers and lions. Some people in the science community think she is a freak but I think her transgressions show how far she will go for scientific curiosity.
Professor Ted Banwitz is a historian and will be coming along to offers explanations for how Cat-Women manage to be living in Antarctica anyway. Mr. Banwitz is has done remarkable work in proving the existence of an underground race of perverts who have preyed on humanity through out the ages despite the censorship of the Vatican and the PTA. I welcome his insights on this voyage.
Doctor Miyoko Nagi shall be our anthropologist. I have been following her fascinating career as she has traced the origin of the dildo back through the ages. Her discovery of ancient G-spot dildos in Africa has been dismissed by the scientific community as perverse and characteristic of a size-queen, but I find her work very important. She will be invaluable as we try to study the Cat-Women. I also think her hair is what heaven smells like.
Because of the suspected violent nature of the Cat-Women, I have reached outside the scientific community to enlist the aid of some people who can aid in communication. For these purposes, I have hired Mistress Natasha Volkov and Mistress Wanda Violence who goes by the nickname, “Ice Queen.” Never underestimate the power of a coincidental name! These two shall help us establish relations with the power oriented Cat-Women
I wanted to hire a sex blogger to chronicle our exploits but that proved difficult. Most sex bloggers will only work for free sex toys and the others are too busy publishing their smut on Kindle and iTunes. After an exhausting search and many Twitter interviews, I finally found an out of work college student who thinks she can get school credit for this trip. I am not allowed to reveal her real name so she will only be listed by her pseudonym, Naked-Heart. I can also reveal that she is 20 something, masturbates frequently and is desperately bisexual.
That’s our team! We shall be leaving tonight and if all goes well, we will be sending back regular updates through the miracle of satellite phone technology. We will be sending back information as soon as we get it!
This concludes our press conference but please come to the lounge for drinks. There will be a needle play demonstration by Mistress Natasha Volkov and a poetry reading by Naked-Heart.
I was fortunate to have the backing of several adventure minded anthropologists as well as generous grants from the Furry community. I would like to take this moment to thank noted Furry community member, Lord Fluffmuffer, who personally donated one million dollars for top of the line video cameras and cat scratch boards. I also want to thank Dr. Otto Von Madd, who provided high quality condoms designed for most humanoid sexual organs.
We will be making our voyage on the Dirty Secret, a cargo ship that was retrofitted in the 70’s into a floating swappers’ club but now has been re-retrofitted into a frozen water explorer. We took out the fur room and replaced it with our computers but we kept the hydroponics bay to store food and cat nip.
Our Captain, Oswald Cleaver, assures me that this ship can safely reach Antarctica and that his crew of ruthless but lovable reformed Somalian pirates is up to the task. He is looking forward to the voyage and has already let his back hair grow out in anticipation of the cold voyage.
Let me introduce the brave adventurers accompanying us.
Ian Xavier will be our lead explorer and expedition guide. Mr. Xavier has been to the deepest parts of the Amazon Jungle, fought savage intelligent monkeys in the wilds of Africa and once spent a frightening year in the small towns of North Carolina. Mr. Xavier has never been to Antarctica but after dealing with BBQ doused in vinegar in North Carolina, Mr. Xavier says that Antarctica will be a piece of cake.
Aiding him will be noted explorer, Ulysses Cameron. Mr. Cameron is better known for his series of survival shows where he is dumped in some hellhole like Utah and is forced to survive on his own piss and scavenged bags of potato chips in the wild. Mr. Cameron also has never been to the Antarctica but he has an amazing ass which experts think will mean a lot to the anal fixated Cat-Woman.
Doctor Yolanda Vette will be our biologist on this trip. Ms. Vette is a cat expert and noted cat lover who has been banned from seventeen zoos for unlawful carnal experiments with tigers and lions. Some people in the science community think she is a freak but I think her transgressions show how far she will go for scientific curiosity.
Professor Ted Banwitz is a historian and will be coming along to offers explanations for how Cat-Women manage to be living in Antarctica anyway. Mr. Banwitz is has done remarkable work in proving the existence of an underground race of perverts who have preyed on humanity through out the ages despite the censorship of the Vatican and the PTA. I welcome his insights on this voyage.
Doctor Miyoko Nagi shall be our anthropologist. I have been following her fascinating career as she has traced the origin of the dildo back through the ages. Her discovery of ancient G-spot dildos in Africa has been dismissed by the scientific community as perverse and characteristic of a size-queen, but I find her work very important. She will be invaluable as we try to study the Cat-Women. I also think her hair is what heaven smells like.
Because of the suspected violent nature of the Cat-Women, I have reached outside the scientific community to enlist the aid of some people who can aid in communication. For these purposes, I have hired Mistress Natasha Volkov and Mistress Wanda Violence who goes by the nickname, “Ice Queen.” Never underestimate the power of a coincidental name! These two shall help us establish relations with the power oriented Cat-Women
I wanted to hire a sex blogger to chronicle our exploits but that proved difficult. Most sex bloggers will only work for free sex toys and the others are too busy publishing their smut on Kindle and iTunes. After an exhausting search and many Twitter interviews, I finally found an out of work college student who thinks she can get school credit for this trip. I am not allowed to reveal her real name so she will only be listed by her pseudonym, Naked-Heart. I can also reveal that she is 20 something, masturbates frequently and is desperately bisexual.
That’s our team! We shall be leaving tonight and if all goes well, we will be sending back regular updates through the miracle of satellite phone technology. We will be sending back information as soon as we get it!
This concludes our press conference but please come to the lounge for drinks. There will be a needle play demonstration by Mistress Natasha Volkov and a poetry reading by Naked-Heart.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Fiction: Bruises and Blobs
Explorer’s Log: I am about three days away from the star system designated Soft Moan of the Queen by royal Astronomers. It is a detour from my original course but the three Mur I met recently told me that is their home star system. I will go there to introduce relations between our species and scout them for their eventual conquest.
I have encountered a derelict ship today. It is about two kilometers long and is of an unknown origin. It has minimal power readings and confusing life signals. I plan to board the ship and see if I can learn anything of where it came from as well as check to see if it has anything I can salvage. End Explorer’s Log.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck, I hope there is nothing too interesting on that ship. I am still sore from a week of fucking those Mur brothers. It has been so long since I have had cock, much less three that vibrate, that I might have over done it. Here’s to hoping the ship just has a bunch of easy to carry garbage and no funky hostile creatures.
Vaquel Di fired her sonic pistol at the never ending horde of squishy blob creatures. The concentrated wave of sound passed through a blob creature and shook it apart before traveling on and hitting the second, third and forth blob creature behind it. Orange gelatin flew everywhere and splattered the walls.
“Fucking shapeless fucks!” Vaquel yelled. She was freaking out a little bit. The glassteel helmet that covered her cute face and short pink hair was already splattered with orange blob remains. Having to wipe her helmet every few seconds just to see more of the hostile blob monsters just added to her anxiety. She had spent two hours going through a ship that had an endless number of skeletons belonging to an unknown species. The blobs still had bits of digested skin, organs and alien faces floating within them
One of the blob creatures oozed into the corridor. The squishy orange mass was barely half a meter in length but the pseudopod it flailed out with reached twenty meters. The lashing pseudopod cracked like a whip across her tits. The spacesuit didn’t tear but it didn’t protect her from the kinetic force of having her tits slapped.
“Fuck!” Vaquel screamed. Her tits were still tender from the Murs biting, kneading and fucking her tits. Apparently her tits were larger than what their species had and they couldn’t keep their hands off them. Her breasts were giant bags of sensitive skin and the spore-fucking blobs wouldn’t stop slapping them. Maybe the stupid orange blobs thought her tits were fellow blobs trapped within her spacesuit.
She aimed her sonic pistol at the new blob. It blew apart and the metal under it buckled. It was nice to see it blow apart but her tits still hurt form the slap.
Her hand also hurt from firing the pistol. The Murs had cocks that vibrating and it was awfully hard on the hands to give them Handjobs but hey, Vaquel couldn’t keep her hands off them. She was paying for it now as her hands were suffering from carpal stress. Just carrying the sonic pistol was pushing her pain management to the limits.
“I got to get out of here,” Vaquel said for the twentieth time. It was a two kilometer long ship and of course she didn’t find the blobs until she was one and a half kilometers in. She had been running through the decayed ship for an hour and a half she still had half a kilometer to go. Fuck.
She didn’t understand these creatures at all. None of them tried to grab her with their pseudopods. They didn’t seem to be acidic to the touch. She didn’t exactly understand why they kept lashing at her instead of a more lethal attack. Maybe they defeated other organisms by just wearing them the fuck out. Vaquel felt she was close to just lying down and letting them do whatever the fuck they did.
But just not yet. Vaquel dived through an open hatch. She landed on her back and old bruises flared along her spine. Images of the Mur brothers taking turns fucking her against a wall replayed through her mind. Yeah, if felt great but her back was paying for it now.
Vaquel fired a series of sonic blasts at the ceiling of the hatch. It collapsed and blocked the hatch opening. The blobs would have to find another way to her.
It took them less than ten seconds. The little bastards oozed through a crack. One of them plopped onto the ground between Vaquel’s feet. The blob lashed out with a pseudopod right between Vaquel’s thighs.
“Fuck” she screamed. The pseudopod struck her right on the spore-fucking pussy! Her tender sex clenched in unbearable tightness as the pseudopod struck her three more times before she could close her legs.
“Die!” Vaquel screamed. The sonic pistol made sure it did.
More orange ooze bled through the crack.
She considered using her plasma pistol to punch a hole through the hull of the ship. The vacuum of space would make getting to her ship awkward but there might be less blobs. Might was the key word. For all she knew, the damn things might thrive in space. They were a pain within the ship but they were a manageable pain.
Vaquel ran.
Running made her thighs hurt. She was regretting every single time she had pinned a Mur down and rode his cock like a saddle.
Running made her ass hurt. The Murs had small cocks but elongated fingers. Vaquel had taught them how to fingerfuck her ass and now her tender ass was regretting every anal expedition.
Running made her breasts hurt. The gravity on the ship was less than she was used to and her damn tits kept bouncing within her spacesuit. The Mur loved her tits and never left them alone. The tightness of the suit made her aware of bruises that she didn’t know she had.
A sheet of orange slime dropped down into front of her. Vaquel stopped herself barely in time from running into it. A dozen pseudopods formed and lashed out at her.
Every damn one of those asshole tentacles struck her tits. A dozen pseudopods slapped, whipped and stung her tits in less than a second. Vaquel stumbled back from the overwhelming sensation that passed through her.
She also got a little wet between the thighs. Vaquel shook her head. Wasn’t a week of fucking enough? She guessed not.
Vaquel fired the sonic pistol at the orange blob. It must have been made of several blob creatures because only parts of it blew up at a time. As Vaquel kept firing, the blob kept sending more whipping pseudopods her way. No matter how much Vaquel dodged and weaved, the damn pseudopods always hit her tits. The fuckers also had a supernatural tendency to strike her nipples.
“”Die! Die! Die!” Vaquel yelled as she fired the sonic pistol.
New gelatin splashed on her bubble helmet. It took her a minute but she managed to kill most of the wall of slime in front of her. That meant a full minute of enduring more tits slaps from pseudopods but Vaquel endured. She had to blink back tears near the end but it was just more motivation to keep firing.
When the passage was clear, Vaquel took off running again. She instantly regretted her decision. Her slapped tits were super sensitive with sensation. Three running steps was all it took to make her drop to her knees in pain.
“I swear by Queen Erisehlla that I will never let another species touch my tits again!” Vaquel said.
She took a deep breathe and got back up. She began her slow walk back to where her ship was docked. One hand across her tits for protection, Vaquel had the sonic pistol ready to blast anything that moved.
Vaquel made it to familiar passage. She remembered this place. It was the corridor that connected directly to where her ship was docked. Relief washed over as she remembered it was straight run back to safety.
The walls shook and buckled. Cracks appeared up and down the corridor. Orange slime pushed and forced itself in.
The corridor was an orange gauntlet of waving pseudopods. Vaquel could try finding another way but she was exhausted. She could try to shoot every slime pool but that also would take forever. There was only one fast solution to this problem.
Vaquel ran. Her tender tits bounced but it couldn’t be helped. Each of her bruised thighs screamed in pain but tough shit. Running through these slime bastards was her only chance.
The blobs quivered with excitement. More of them appeared until the entire corridor was coated in orange slime.
Pseudopods lashed out at her as she ran towards them. She tried to block them with her hands but the agile pseudopods whipped around her hands with unearthly accuracy. Her tits were slapped from the top and from the bottom. Powerful lashes whipped her tits from the right and the left. Some nimble pseudopods struck her nipples with incredible precision.
Just running by the blobs didn’t mean they stopped attacking her. The pseudopods shifted their focus to her ass. Whatever bizarre behavior that caused them to strike at the round globes of her tits seemed to also apply to the plump curves of her ass. The vicious blobs struck at running buttocks with the same stinging fury that they gave her breasts.
Vaquel ran. The blobs slapped her tits. The blobs slapped her ass. The spacesuit could keep out extreme cold, poison and heat but it did nothing to protect her from the constant whipping force of the pseudopods.
Vaquel made it to the airlock. A few of the blobs tried to follow her in but she shot those fuckers. She stumbled into her ship and activated the automatic undocking procedures.
The probe ship hummed to life. Vaquel sat down without thinking. She hissed as her tender ass took the full weight of her body. Vaquel stood back up and then winced as her sensitive breasts shifted with the movement.
“Activate laser and blow that ship up!” Vaquel ordered.
The derelict ship exploded after two hits. Crumpled metal and orange ooze floated in space. Most of the slime crystallized instantly.
“That takes care of that,” Vaquel said. She might never know what those slimes really were but fuck it. Some mysteries in space don’t need to be solved.
Except for maybe the mystery of being able to sit again anytime soon.
I have encountered a derelict ship today. It is about two kilometers long and is of an unknown origin. It has minimal power readings and confusing life signals. I plan to board the ship and see if I can learn anything of where it came from as well as check to see if it has anything I can salvage. End Explorer’s Log.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck, I hope there is nothing too interesting on that ship. I am still sore from a week of fucking those Mur brothers. It has been so long since I have had cock, much less three that vibrate, that I might have over done it. Here’s to hoping the ship just has a bunch of easy to carry garbage and no funky hostile creatures.
Vaquel Di fired her sonic pistol at the never ending horde of squishy blob creatures. The concentrated wave of sound passed through a blob creature and shook it apart before traveling on and hitting the second, third and forth blob creature behind it. Orange gelatin flew everywhere and splattered the walls.
“Fucking shapeless fucks!” Vaquel yelled. She was freaking out a little bit. The glassteel helmet that covered her cute face and short pink hair was already splattered with orange blob remains. Having to wipe her helmet every few seconds just to see more of the hostile blob monsters just added to her anxiety. She had spent two hours going through a ship that had an endless number of skeletons belonging to an unknown species. The blobs still had bits of digested skin, organs and alien faces floating within them
One of the blob creatures oozed into the corridor. The squishy orange mass was barely half a meter in length but the pseudopod it flailed out with reached twenty meters. The lashing pseudopod cracked like a whip across her tits. The spacesuit didn’t tear but it didn’t protect her from the kinetic force of having her tits slapped.
“Fuck!” Vaquel screamed. Her tits were still tender from the Murs biting, kneading and fucking her tits. Apparently her tits were larger than what their species had and they couldn’t keep their hands off them. Her breasts were giant bags of sensitive skin and the spore-fucking blobs wouldn’t stop slapping them. Maybe the stupid orange blobs thought her tits were fellow blobs trapped within her spacesuit.
She aimed her sonic pistol at the new blob. It blew apart and the metal under it buckled. It was nice to see it blow apart but her tits still hurt form the slap.
Her hand also hurt from firing the pistol. The Murs had cocks that vibrating and it was awfully hard on the hands to give them Handjobs but hey, Vaquel couldn’t keep her hands off them. She was paying for it now as her hands were suffering from carpal stress. Just carrying the sonic pistol was pushing her pain management to the limits.
“I got to get out of here,” Vaquel said for the twentieth time. It was a two kilometer long ship and of course she didn’t find the blobs until she was one and a half kilometers in. She had been running through the decayed ship for an hour and a half she still had half a kilometer to go. Fuck.
She didn’t understand these creatures at all. None of them tried to grab her with their pseudopods. They didn’t seem to be acidic to the touch. She didn’t exactly understand why they kept lashing at her instead of a more lethal attack. Maybe they defeated other organisms by just wearing them the fuck out. Vaquel felt she was close to just lying down and letting them do whatever the fuck they did.
But just not yet. Vaquel dived through an open hatch. She landed on her back and old bruises flared along her spine. Images of the Mur brothers taking turns fucking her against a wall replayed through her mind. Yeah, if felt great but her back was paying for it now.
Vaquel fired a series of sonic blasts at the ceiling of the hatch. It collapsed and blocked the hatch opening. The blobs would have to find another way to her.
It took them less than ten seconds. The little bastards oozed through a crack. One of them plopped onto the ground between Vaquel’s feet. The blob lashed out with a pseudopod right between Vaquel’s thighs.
“Fuck” she screamed. The pseudopod struck her right on the spore-fucking pussy! Her tender sex clenched in unbearable tightness as the pseudopod struck her three more times before she could close her legs.
“Die!” Vaquel screamed. The sonic pistol made sure it did.
More orange ooze bled through the crack.
She considered using her plasma pistol to punch a hole through the hull of the ship. The vacuum of space would make getting to her ship awkward but there might be less blobs. Might was the key word. For all she knew, the damn things might thrive in space. They were a pain within the ship but they were a manageable pain.
Vaquel ran.
Running made her thighs hurt. She was regretting every single time she had pinned a Mur down and rode his cock like a saddle.
Running made her ass hurt. The Murs had small cocks but elongated fingers. Vaquel had taught them how to fingerfuck her ass and now her tender ass was regretting every anal expedition.
Running made her breasts hurt. The gravity on the ship was less than she was used to and her damn tits kept bouncing within her spacesuit. The Mur loved her tits and never left them alone. The tightness of the suit made her aware of bruises that she didn’t know she had.
A sheet of orange slime dropped down into front of her. Vaquel stopped herself barely in time from running into it. A dozen pseudopods formed and lashed out at her.
Every damn one of those asshole tentacles struck her tits. A dozen pseudopods slapped, whipped and stung her tits in less than a second. Vaquel stumbled back from the overwhelming sensation that passed through her.
She also got a little wet between the thighs. Vaquel shook her head. Wasn’t a week of fucking enough? She guessed not.
Vaquel fired the sonic pistol at the orange blob. It must have been made of several blob creatures because only parts of it blew up at a time. As Vaquel kept firing, the blob kept sending more whipping pseudopods her way. No matter how much Vaquel dodged and weaved, the damn pseudopods always hit her tits. The fuckers also had a supernatural tendency to strike her nipples.
“”Die! Die! Die!” Vaquel yelled as she fired the sonic pistol.
New gelatin splashed on her bubble helmet. It took her a minute but she managed to kill most of the wall of slime in front of her. That meant a full minute of enduring more tits slaps from pseudopods but Vaquel endured. She had to blink back tears near the end but it was just more motivation to keep firing.
When the passage was clear, Vaquel took off running again. She instantly regretted her decision. Her slapped tits were super sensitive with sensation. Three running steps was all it took to make her drop to her knees in pain.
“I swear by Queen Erisehlla that I will never let another species touch my tits again!” Vaquel said.
She took a deep breathe and got back up. She began her slow walk back to where her ship was docked. One hand across her tits for protection, Vaquel had the sonic pistol ready to blast anything that moved.
Vaquel made it to familiar passage. She remembered this place. It was the corridor that connected directly to where her ship was docked. Relief washed over as she remembered it was straight run back to safety.
The walls shook and buckled. Cracks appeared up and down the corridor. Orange slime pushed and forced itself in.
The corridor was an orange gauntlet of waving pseudopods. Vaquel could try finding another way but she was exhausted. She could try to shoot every slime pool but that also would take forever. There was only one fast solution to this problem.
Vaquel ran. Her tender tits bounced but it couldn’t be helped. Each of her bruised thighs screamed in pain but tough shit. Running through these slime bastards was her only chance.
The blobs quivered with excitement. More of them appeared until the entire corridor was coated in orange slime.
Pseudopods lashed out at her as she ran towards them. She tried to block them with her hands but the agile pseudopods whipped around her hands with unearthly accuracy. Her tits were slapped from the top and from the bottom. Powerful lashes whipped her tits from the right and the left. Some nimble pseudopods struck her nipples with incredible precision.
Just running by the blobs didn’t mean they stopped attacking her. The pseudopods shifted their focus to her ass. Whatever bizarre behavior that caused them to strike at the round globes of her tits seemed to also apply to the plump curves of her ass. The vicious blobs struck at running buttocks with the same stinging fury that they gave her breasts.
Vaquel ran. The blobs slapped her tits. The blobs slapped her ass. The spacesuit could keep out extreme cold, poison and heat but it did nothing to protect her from the constant whipping force of the pseudopods.
Vaquel made it to the airlock. A few of the blobs tried to follow her in but she shot those fuckers. She stumbled into her ship and activated the automatic undocking procedures.
The probe ship hummed to life. Vaquel sat down without thinking. She hissed as her tender ass took the full weight of her body. Vaquel stood back up and then winced as her sensitive breasts shifted with the movement.
“Activate laser and blow that ship up!” Vaquel ordered.
The derelict ship exploded after two hits. Crumpled metal and orange ooze floated in space. Most of the slime crystallized instantly.
“That takes care of that,” Vaquel said. She might never know what those slimes really were but fuck it. Some mysteries in space don’t need to be solved.
Except for maybe the mystery of being able to sit again anytime soon.
Friday, May 25, 2012
For Sale: Deep Space Probe
Deep Space Probe is available for purchase at Kindle. This ebook collects the first ten stories of Vaquel Di, a Deep Space Probe Explorer who spends 10% of her time exploring space and the other 90% of her time getting laid. For you scholars out there, this ebook collects every Vaquel story to date. When I produce another ten stories, I'll do a second volume. If I get enough sales, I will tackle the monstrosity that is putting all the Otto Von Madd stories into a collection.
The cover is an experiment in doing non-sexual covers for people who want to hide their smut better. Also, space is pretty damn sexy.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Fiction: Promises to Keep
Angelica opened her eyes and got out of bed. She didn’t have a hangover which came as a surprise to her. Either she didn’t drink nearly as much as she thought she did last night, or she was getting way better at being a drunken college student.
She put on her bikini and went outside. It was another glorious morning on the beach. She started walking to the breakfast café that was a block from her rented beach house. She was on autopilot as her feet walked before her brain was fully awake.
This was the best spring break ever. So far she had made out with a bunch of boys, got a really bitching tan and even did a satanic ritual last night.
Angelica stopped walking. That’s right! Her roommate did do some weird ritual out of a book! Holy shit, Angelica’s Catholic mom would freak!
The young girl started laughing and kept walking. What was that ritual about? It was some book that Miranda brought. It was supposed to give them good luck. No, wait. It was supposed to be pleasure. That’s right! It was some ritual in Spanish that was supposed to give them all pleasure.
There was another detail though. Angelica paused outside the breakfast café as she tried to think of what it was. It seemed important.
Three cute guys walked in front of her. Their nice asses bulged against their swimsuits. Angelica openly stared at their butts.
Oh yeah! Angelica remembered now. The ritual was to something called the Promiser of Pleasure and Pain. He needed a promise in order to deliver the pleasure. Angelica suspected that Miranda was making that part up as some sort of segue into a lesbian attempt with Angelica. Since Angelica was drunk, she got up, pulled her shorts down and mooned Miranda.
“Tell him he can have my big fat ass!” Angelica said.
Angelica smiled at the memory. Miranda had blushed and finished the ritual. There was a lot of candles and speaking in Spanish. There may have been an attempt to seal the ritual with a kiss between the two girls. Angelica thought she did the kiss but she couldn’t remember.
She went into the breakfast café. The blast of air conditioning made her nipples hard. Her eyes adjusted to the indoor light and what she saw defied belief.
A man in stood before her. He was easily seven feet tall. He was also butt-naked with an enormous cock. The cock was pointed at her. Even odder was his face. It was smooth, like a mannequin head.
No one else seemed to notice the faceless man. Angelica looked around to see if this was some sort of spring break event. That is when she saw another woman walk through the faceless man.
“Oh shit,” Angelica said. Stone cold sobriety pushed through her poisoned brain.
“Angelica Shelby Henderson, you made a promise to me,” the Faceless Man said. Well, he didn’t speak since he didn’t have a mouth. It was just something she heard in her head.
“Fuck!” Angelica said as she ran out the door.
She plowed through a crowd of cute boys and ran out into the street. A jeep honked at her as it drove around her. Angelica didn’t care. She was wondering how fast she could run in her flip-flops.
The Faceless Man came out. He just walked through the glass door like it was nothing. His giant cock bobbed with every step.
“You promised your ass!” the Faceless Man yelled.
Angelica ran down the street. The Faceless Man ran faster. Her tit bounced out of her bikini but she kept running. She lost a flip-flop and it didn’t slow her down a bit. She pushed her way through a crowd of slow ass beach girls and ran around the side of a surf shop. She paused to see if he was still following.
The Faceless Man walked through the wall of the surf shop. He pointed at Angelica. “Your ass was promised to me!”
Pure panic kicked in. All she could look at was that monstrous cock. He was going to fuck her ass. She just knew it. Angelica ran towards the beach. She had some sort of half formed notion that if she got in the water, she would be safe.
She never made it to the water. The Faceless Man grabbed her by her bikini bottom and swung her around into the sand. She hit the ground hard and rough sand bit into her exposed tit.
Something heavy pressed down on her hair. It was the Faceless Man’s foot. He had her pinned to the beach and she was going nowhere unless she wanted to pull all of her hair out. She got on her knees and kept pulling anyway. He reached down and ripped the bikini bottom off her ass quicker than that New York guy did last Friday.
“A promise of ass for a promise of pleasure!” The Faceless Man said.
“I’ve never been fucked in the ass!” Angelica yelled. It wasn’t true but Martin didn’t count. The dude barely got the tip in before he climaxed.
He swung his big meaty hand down and smacked Angelica’s ass. WHAP!
“Jesus Christ!” Angelica yelled. The sting of his hand vibrated through her curvy ass. The force of the blow knocked her flat down on the beach. Her feet kicked in the sand as a second slap stung her ass.
“Check it out!” someone yelled.
Angelica’s head was turned towards the dunes and yep, there was a crowd already. She could see her fellow spring break vacationers looking at her oddly. All they saw was a girl with her face in the sand and her bare ass pointed at the sky. Shit, even Angelica had seen weirder this week.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
The Faceless Man’s hand slapped her ass. His hand was gigantic and was as hard as wood. He swung with a force that was completely inhuman. Her ass was used to groping, pinching and a little biting. Angelica’s ass had never suffered anything like this.
She tried to get up. The weight on her hair was like a ton. She grabbed his foot and tried to pull. It would have been easier to lift a pier. She tried to cover her ass with her hands. The Faceless Man grabbed both her arms and pinned them with a single giant hand.
The spanking came faster. Angelica’s ass burned under the quickening pace. He smacked the top of her ass. He smacked the bottom of her ass. He smacked the dead center of her ass and all around it. Not a single inch of her ass escaped his hand. She had promised it all.
A bigger crowd assembled on the beach to watch Angelica. They laughed at her. No one offered to help, hell, why would that? She was just another drunk kid naked and writhing on the beach.
Tears and sand stung Angelica’s eyes and she could no longer see them. Angelica’s ass was burning like a tiki torch. The Faceless Man was showing no sign of stopping. She had a vision of the strange monster spanking her ass flat. It could happen.
“I gave my ass for a promise of pleasure!” Angelica yelled. “Where is my fucking pleasure?”
The spanking stopped. “You got it last night,” he said. Then he slapped her ass again.
Last night? Angelica didn’t do anything except kiss Miranda and oh. . . Angelica remembered more about last night. She remembered Miranda’s hands on her breast. She shuddered as she remembered Miranda’s fingers between Angelica’s thighs. She moaned as she recalled Miranda’s tongue lapping at her clit.
Oh yeah. That was pretty nice. Damn, how drunk was Angelica?
The spanking stopped. Angelica lifted her head and there was no weight on her hair. She looked around and there was no trace of the Faceless Man. Well, except for her incredibly burning ass. It hurt just to get up on all fours. The thought of looking for her bikini bottom with her ass hurting like this was unthinkable.
Then she thought about last night. Yeah, it was a fair trade.
She put on her bikini and went outside. It was another glorious morning on the beach. She started walking to the breakfast café that was a block from her rented beach house. She was on autopilot as her feet walked before her brain was fully awake.
This was the best spring break ever. So far she had made out with a bunch of boys, got a really bitching tan and even did a satanic ritual last night.
Angelica stopped walking. That’s right! Her roommate did do some weird ritual out of a book! Holy shit, Angelica’s Catholic mom would freak!
The young girl started laughing and kept walking. What was that ritual about? It was some book that Miranda brought. It was supposed to give them good luck. No, wait. It was supposed to be pleasure. That’s right! It was some ritual in Spanish that was supposed to give them all pleasure.
There was another detail though. Angelica paused outside the breakfast café as she tried to think of what it was. It seemed important.
Three cute guys walked in front of her. Their nice asses bulged against their swimsuits. Angelica openly stared at their butts.
Oh yeah! Angelica remembered now. The ritual was to something called the Promiser of Pleasure and Pain. He needed a promise in order to deliver the pleasure. Angelica suspected that Miranda was making that part up as some sort of segue into a lesbian attempt with Angelica. Since Angelica was drunk, she got up, pulled her shorts down and mooned Miranda.
“Tell him he can have my big fat ass!” Angelica said.
Angelica smiled at the memory. Miranda had blushed and finished the ritual. There was a lot of candles and speaking in Spanish. There may have been an attempt to seal the ritual with a kiss between the two girls. Angelica thought she did the kiss but she couldn’t remember.
She went into the breakfast café. The blast of air conditioning made her nipples hard. Her eyes adjusted to the indoor light and what she saw defied belief.
A man in stood before her. He was easily seven feet tall. He was also butt-naked with an enormous cock. The cock was pointed at her. Even odder was his face. It was smooth, like a mannequin head.
No one else seemed to notice the faceless man. Angelica looked around to see if this was some sort of spring break event. That is when she saw another woman walk through the faceless man.
“Oh shit,” Angelica said. Stone cold sobriety pushed through her poisoned brain.
“Angelica Shelby Henderson, you made a promise to me,” the Faceless Man said. Well, he didn’t speak since he didn’t have a mouth. It was just something she heard in her head.
“Fuck!” Angelica said as she ran out the door.
She plowed through a crowd of cute boys and ran out into the street. A jeep honked at her as it drove around her. Angelica didn’t care. She was wondering how fast she could run in her flip-flops.
The Faceless Man came out. He just walked through the glass door like it was nothing. His giant cock bobbed with every step.
“You promised your ass!” the Faceless Man yelled.
Angelica ran down the street. The Faceless Man ran faster. Her tit bounced out of her bikini but she kept running. She lost a flip-flop and it didn’t slow her down a bit. She pushed her way through a crowd of slow ass beach girls and ran around the side of a surf shop. She paused to see if he was still following.
The Faceless Man walked through the wall of the surf shop. He pointed at Angelica. “Your ass was promised to me!”
Pure panic kicked in. All she could look at was that monstrous cock. He was going to fuck her ass. She just knew it. Angelica ran towards the beach. She had some sort of half formed notion that if she got in the water, she would be safe.
She never made it to the water. The Faceless Man grabbed her by her bikini bottom and swung her around into the sand. She hit the ground hard and rough sand bit into her exposed tit.
Something heavy pressed down on her hair. It was the Faceless Man’s foot. He had her pinned to the beach and she was going nowhere unless she wanted to pull all of her hair out. She got on her knees and kept pulling anyway. He reached down and ripped the bikini bottom off her ass quicker than that New York guy did last Friday.
“A promise of ass for a promise of pleasure!” The Faceless Man said.
“I’ve never been fucked in the ass!” Angelica yelled. It wasn’t true but Martin didn’t count. The dude barely got the tip in before he climaxed.
He swung his big meaty hand down and smacked Angelica’s ass. WHAP!
“Jesus Christ!” Angelica yelled. The sting of his hand vibrated through her curvy ass. The force of the blow knocked her flat down on the beach. Her feet kicked in the sand as a second slap stung her ass.
“Check it out!” someone yelled.
Angelica’s head was turned towards the dunes and yep, there was a crowd already. She could see her fellow spring break vacationers looking at her oddly. All they saw was a girl with her face in the sand and her bare ass pointed at the sky. Shit, even Angelica had seen weirder this week.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
The Faceless Man’s hand slapped her ass. His hand was gigantic and was as hard as wood. He swung with a force that was completely inhuman. Her ass was used to groping, pinching and a little biting. Angelica’s ass had never suffered anything like this.
She tried to get up. The weight on her hair was like a ton. She grabbed his foot and tried to pull. It would have been easier to lift a pier. She tried to cover her ass with her hands. The Faceless Man grabbed both her arms and pinned them with a single giant hand.
The spanking came faster. Angelica’s ass burned under the quickening pace. He smacked the top of her ass. He smacked the bottom of her ass. He smacked the dead center of her ass and all around it. Not a single inch of her ass escaped his hand. She had promised it all.
A bigger crowd assembled on the beach to watch Angelica. They laughed at her. No one offered to help, hell, why would that? She was just another drunk kid naked and writhing on the beach.
Tears and sand stung Angelica’s eyes and she could no longer see them. Angelica’s ass was burning like a tiki torch. The Faceless Man was showing no sign of stopping. She had a vision of the strange monster spanking her ass flat. It could happen.
“I gave my ass for a promise of pleasure!” Angelica yelled. “Where is my fucking pleasure?”
The spanking stopped. “You got it last night,” he said. Then he slapped her ass again.
Last night? Angelica didn’t do anything except kiss Miranda and oh. . . Angelica remembered more about last night. She remembered Miranda’s hands on her breast. She shuddered as she remembered Miranda’s fingers between Angelica’s thighs. She moaned as she recalled Miranda’s tongue lapping at her clit.
Oh yeah. That was pretty nice. Damn, how drunk was Angelica?
The spanking stopped. Angelica lifted her head and there was no weight on her hair. She looked around and there was no trace of the Faceless Man. Well, except for her incredibly burning ass. It hurt just to get up on all fours. The thought of looking for her bikini bottom with her ass hurting like this was unthinkable.
Then she thought about last night. Yeah, it was a fair trade.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Wanted For Crimes of Betrayal
Attention all citizens and slaves of Euphoria! Queen Erishella has declared the individual known as Hank Maggs to be a criminal of the foulest kind! He is six feet tall, with curly blonde hair and a penis of adequate length. He is to be arrested on sight as well as beaten thoroughly.
Be advised that Hank Maggs comes from a backwater primitive planet called "Earth". This savage world is a pit of chaos with free elections, multiple religions and a lack of universal health care. There is no telling what sort of surprising creative violence such a creature can commit. Hank Maggs came to this world through a freak wormhole in the space time continuum. Due to Hank Maggs' somewhat attractive face, Queen Erishella took pity on the lost creature and made him one of her bed slaves.
The Science Academy would like to interrupt this urgent announcement to remind all Euphorians that rips in the space time continuum is a direct result of downloading illegal pornography holograms from file sharing networks like Pirate Moon and FilePervert. Remember, illegal downloading destroys the universe!
Hank Maggs, who claims to have been something called an "IT technician" on his home world, decided to betray the Queen's trust and reprogrammed the security locks to escape her bed chambers. The worthless excuse for a cock also took a female bedslave with him on his escape. Guards report that both slaves had a dreamy look in their eyes and that they most likely became romantic soul mates in their shared captivity. Not only has Hank Maggs betrayed his Queen by removing his physical body from the Queen's pleasure, but he has also betrayed her in his heart. Such a foul creature can not be allowed to escape unpunished.
A reward of a thousand hours of oral pleasure has been offered for the capture of Hank Maggs and the female bedslave who's name that Queen Erishella can't remember. Be sure to take them alive as Queen Erishella has already designed seven cruel death traps to put them in. Also be advised that Hank Magg's cock is to be left unharmed.
Be advised that Hank Maggs comes from a backwater primitive planet called "Earth". This savage world is a pit of chaos with free elections, multiple religions and a lack of universal health care. There is no telling what sort of surprising creative violence such a creature can commit. Hank Maggs came to this world through a freak wormhole in the space time continuum. Due to Hank Maggs' somewhat attractive face, Queen Erishella took pity on the lost creature and made him one of her bed slaves.
The Science Academy would like to interrupt this urgent announcement to remind all Euphorians that rips in the space time continuum is a direct result of downloading illegal pornography holograms from file sharing networks like Pirate Moon and FilePervert. Remember, illegal downloading destroys the universe!
Hank Maggs, who claims to have been something called an "IT technician" on his home world, decided to betray the Queen's trust and reprogrammed the security locks to escape her bed chambers. The worthless excuse for a cock also took a female bedslave with him on his escape. Guards report that both slaves had a dreamy look in their eyes and that they most likely became romantic soul mates in their shared captivity. Not only has Hank Maggs betrayed his Queen by removing his physical body from the Queen's pleasure, but he has also betrayed her in his heart. Such a foul creature can not be allowed to escape unpunished.
A reward of a thousand hours of oral pleasure has been offered for the capture of Hank Maggs and the female bedslave who's name that Queen Erishella can't remember. Be sure to take them alive as Queen Erishella has already designed seven cruel death traps to put them in. Also be advised that Hank Magg's cock is to be left unharmed.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Dirty Movies: Poolboy
What I just described could not begin to prepare you for the insanity of this movie. On the one level, we have dead on satire of the action films of the 80's. There is the overt racism, the random gratuitous nudity and the not-gay-at-all homoerotica. On the other level, the interviews and comments from Saint James form a second story of crazy as you hear about the time that the star set the boom guy on fire and why exactly was there a clown dream sequence? The answer involves handjobs. Not a moment goes by where something insane is not happening on screen.
You may have noticed that Kevin Sorbo and Danny Trejo are in this film. Your eyes do not deceive you. Sorbo plays action star, Jan Van Hammer with all the cheese and patriotic fury of the 80's. I have to revise my opinion of Sorbo's acting ability because it takes real balls to play such an offensive character. The racism that babbles out of Hammer's mouth will offend and horrify. The same goes for Danny Trejo who plays a pool cleaning kingpin who loudly proclaims, "My ancestors did not sneak into this country so that the whites can clean their own pools."
Some people have compared this movie to Blaxpoitation parody movie, Black Dynamite. I think that is an unfair comparison. See, Blaxpoitation films were awesome and Black Dynamite was a tribute to the awesome. Poolboy takes aim at the rather loathsome 80's action movie genre and gives it the butt-fucking it deserves. You might think Poolboy is over the top but my guess is that you haven't seen one of the low budget 80's action movies in awhile. Those movies were more racist than your average Tea Party Klan meeting. Poolboy is not a tribute movie, it is an indictment movie. The fact that it was "created" by a ten year old director tells you everything the real movie creators think about the genre.
A better comparison might be Machete. In that movie, a Mexican day laborer is hired to assassinate a racist senator. Shit gets complicated and over the top but at the heart of the movie is a tale of rich white oppression on Mexican poor. Well, that and knives and hot chicks. Still, it tells a story about racism using action movie tropes. Poolboy does the same thing except they are telling it from the point of view of the oppressors.
I watch a lot of shitty movies. I have seen quite a few movies that pretend to be shitty movies for laughs but end up being even shittier because they are boring. Poolboy is that rare awesome movie that pretends to be a shitty movie but is actually ten times more entertaining and ten times more thoughtful than the shitty movies it mocks. I was never bored because the crazy was non-stop ad always funny. I want to see a hundred more movies from Saint James St. James.
I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Fiction: The Incredible Libido
“Thank you for seeing on such short notice, Dr. Von Madd,” Dr. Vammer said.
“It is my pleasure,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Please come into my office and tell me what is on your mind.”
Dr. Pamela Vammer sat down and took a deep breath. Dr. Von Madd took the moment of silence to observe the respected biochemist. She had changed quite a bit since the last time he saw her. Her normally short black hair was now longer and fuller. He didn’t recall her breasts being as large as they were and as it was, they looked like they were stretching apart the material of her blouse. The long skirt she wore couldn’t hide the shapely legs underneath.
“As you know, I have been working on a female equivalent to Viagra,” Dr. Vammers said. “I have been making several breakthroughs in combating unconscious female vaginal tightness.”
“Yes, I read your paper last year,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Your work is quite revolutionary and if I may say, deserving of a Nobel prize if they accepted the sexual sciences.”
“Please, Doctor,” Dr. Vammers interrupted. “Your compliments are making it harder for me to keep control. You know I have always found your work in mass sexual psychology to be quite the turn on.”
One of the buttons burst from her blouse and pinged off of Dr. Von Madd’s purple goggles. He studied her breasts and marveled at how they had increased a cup size.
“Dr. Vammers, perhaps you should skip to your problem,” Dr. Von Madd said.
“Yes,” Dr. Vammers said. Her voice was huskier. Otto found his cock hardening in response.
“I was working on a solution that I thought would be a topical lubricant,” Dr. Vammers said. She looked at Otto with eyes half closed in arousal. “I was giving it a bombardment of delta radiation when a lightning storm sent a surge through the building.”
“Oh my, were you hurt?” Dr. Von Madd said.
“Thank you for your concern,” Dr. Vammers said. Another button flew off her blouse. A blue tint spread from her checks like a blush down her chest.
“Like I was saying,” Dr. Vammers said as she stood up. Her skirt ripped from her rapidly widening hips. She leaned across the desk and her enormous breasts tore through the remains of her blouse.
“I was bathed in the resulting explosion of experimental lubricant and delta radiation. Now whenever I get aroused, my body goes through these changes until I achieve satisfaction. When I am changed, my mind is different. I am a monstrous blue slut. I am a force of fucking and destruction. I am so fucking horny right now and you are sitting there with your genius mind and that sexy goatee and those mysterious goggles and I want ride your SCIENCE FACE! NOW GET IN MY PUSSY SEXY MAN!”
Dr. Vammers roared as the change completed itself. She grew to a height of seven feet. Her clothes were shredded as giant breasts and hips pushed their way out. The blue color had spread all over her body and her pubic hair turned a lustrous purple. The hair on her head grew down her back and had a rich thick shine to it.
Dr. Von Madd looked at the nude blue giant before him. “Incredible.”
The blue slut got off the desk and threw it to the side with one hand. With the other hand she grabbed Otto by his lab coat. Otto slipped out of his lab coat with a practiced move learned by all Von Madds at an early age. You never knew when you needed to escape a lab coat.
“Tanya, activate emergency ice beams in my office on my mark!”
“Yes, Doctor,” his security chief answered from his ear piece.
“I AM GOING TO RIDE YOUR SMART FACE!” Dr. Vammers screamed.
Dr. Von Madd calculated that the strength in Dr. Vammer’s thighs would crush his skull precisely 3 seconds after orgasm. He adjusted that time to one and a half seconds if he did that trick with his tongue.
He also ducked out of his office and screamed “Mark!”
Automatic frost lasers came to life and fired at Dr. Vammers. Bio-sensitive targeting arrays directed the frost beams to start on Dr. Vammer’s pussy before spreading to the rest of her body. In seconds she was covered in ice.
“What’s going on Doctor?” Tanya asked on the radio. “Did we have another outbreak of spontaneous nymphomania?”
“Not this time, Tanya,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Dr. Vammers is in my officer with an increased body mass and the libido to match.”
The ice around Dr. Vammers started to crack. Her blue breasts shook with rage under the ice. Otto could feel the piercing lust of her glowing red eyes.
“Should I mobilize the Rapid Monster Response Team?” Tanya asked.
“No,” Dr. Von Madd said. He turned to run as the ice shattered in his office.
“I AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR DICK OFF INSIDE ME!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd ran down the corridor. Tanya was pouting over his earpiece.
“You never let me use the Rapid Monster Response Team!” Tanya said. It was always a turn on for Dr. Von Madd when the normally tough blonde was petulant. “You wouldn’t let me use them on that orgy blob that came to life last week. You wouldn’t let me use them when the sex robot from the future attacked yesterday and you wouldn’t let me use them when the flying vibrators came to life this morning!”
Dr. Von Madd slapped a control and watched the steel door drop behind him. A second later, a hole appeared in the door as Dr. Vammers’ fist punched through it.
“SEXY FACE NEEDS TO STOP RUNNING!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd kept running. He also answered Tanya’s complaints.
“Tanya, the orgy blob was made of a trapped scientists and relaxation specialists. I had to dissolve the blob, not pump it full of bullets. The killer sex robot from the future was a gift from an unknown admirer in the future and the flying vibrators just needed someone to accept their status as sentient beings. None of those things require violence and Dr. Vammers certainly does not as well.”
“I disagree,” Tanya said. Her pouty tone was doing distracting things to Dr. Von Madd’s growing erection.
“Please inform Protective Engineering that I will be there shortly and to get the Gauntlet ready,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Also apply nipple clamps to both nipples and leave them there until I say otherwise for being a whiny security chief.”
“Ohhh,” Tanya moaned. It was hard to tell if the moan was of shame of the assessment, dread of the nipple clamps or just plain arousal. It was most likely all three.
“I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU DRY!” Dr. Vammers yelled behind him. The wide hips and long legs were gaining on him. Fortunately the large breasts were not aerodynamic and he was grateful for any small advantage he could get.
Dr. Von Madd slapped an emergency button as he ran by it. Steel cables sprang from the walls in a complex net of tension and metal. It was designed to hold back a sex crazed mob.
Dr. Vammers tore through it in six seconds.
“STOP RUNNING DICKMEAT!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
On Dr. Von Madd’s earpiece, Tanya moaned as the nipple clamps bit into her sensitive nipples.
Dr. Von Madd burst through the doors of Protective Engineering. A very distressed Dr. Zuna handed him the Gauntlet.
“What’s going on Doctor?” Dr. Zuna asked.
“You should leave through the emergency slide,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Unless you fancy being raped to death by a seven foot tall blue woman."
Dr. Zuna scratched his beard and considered it. “Ah, I’ll go through the emergency slide.”
“Good man,” Dr. Von Madd said. He examined the glove. The Gauntlet was as thin as a latex glove but it was constructed of rare metals and a powerful forcefield. It was designed to protect delicate fingers during anal play. Sadly, it cost a million dollars per unit at the moment.
“Sure you don’t want a team of some sort?” Tanya asked. Her voice was strained and her breathing was heavy. The clamps had been preset by Dr. Von Madd to an appropriate punishing level.
“All I need to change the world is a finger and a place to insert it,” Dr. Von Madd said.
The door to the laboratory was ripped from its frame. Dr. Vammers ducked through the door and growled at Dr. Von Madd. She grabbed a massive tit in one hand and squeezed herself.
“TIME TO FUCK LITTLE SCIENCE MAN!”
Dr. Von Madd made an adjustment to the forcefeild generator on the Gauntlet. “I agree.”
He thrust his gloved hand towards Dr. Vanner’s thick pubic hair. Her cunt was soaking wet and took Dr. Von Madd’s fist easily. The suction of her cunt pulled his fist in to his wrist.
“FUCK!” Dr. Vanners moaned.
“Fuck,” Tanya said in agreement over his earpiece.
“Now we will,” Dr. Von Madd said. The Gauntlet began to vibrate. The force fields were slightly out of synchronization and were vibrating against one another. The conflict of fields was shaking Dr. Vammers’ entire body.
“YES YES YES!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd twisted his fist inside Dr, Vammers’ body.
“FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd wiggled his fist in a manner he learned from a Russian exchange intern.
“OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!”
Dr. Von Madd lifted his head and bit down on one of Dr. Vammers’ hard blue nipples.
“CHRIST!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
There was an explosion of light as mass was rapidly converted to energy. Dr. Von Madd pulled his fist out just before Dr. Vammers’ body began to shrink. He watched as Dr. Vammer shrank down to the five foot three woman that he had long admired. Her short shortened, her breasts shrunk and her hips collapsed. Oddly, her pubic hair was still nice and thick.
Dr. Vammers collapsed to the floor and started snoring.
“Tanya, arrange for a security team to take Dr. Vammers to the Cold Shower Room,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I want her under surveillance and a full time medical staff assigned to her care.”
“Yes, Doctor,” Tanya replied. “And umm, Doctor? Can I take the nipple clamps off? I am really sorry that I was whiney earlier.”
“No you may not,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I will take them off myself. Dr. Vammers may have climaxed but I have not. Make sure you are naked except for your nipple clamps by the time I get to your office.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“It is my pleasure,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Please come into my office and tell me what is on your mind.”
Dr. Pamela Vammer sat down and took a deep breath. Dr. Von Madd took the moment of silence to observe the respected biochemist. She had changed quite a bit since the last time he saw her. Her normally short black hair was now longer and fuller. He didn’t recall her breasts being as large as they were and as it was, they looked like they were stretching apart the material of her blouse. The long skirt she wore couldn’t hide the shapely legs underneath.
“As you know, I have been working on a female equivalent to Viagra,” Dr. Vammers said. “I have been making several breakthroughs in combating unconscious female vaginal tightness.”
“Yes, I read your paper last year,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Your work is quite revolutionary and if I may say, deserving of a Nobel prize if they accepted the sexual sciences.”
“Please, Doctor,” Dr. Vammers interrupted. “Your compliments are making it harder for me to keep control. You know I have always found your work in mass sexual psychology to be quite the turn on.”
One of the buttons burst from her blouse and pinged off of Dr. Von Madd’s purple goggles. He studied her breasts and marveled at how they had increased a cup size.
“Dr. Vammers, perhaps you should skip to your problem,” Dr. Von Madd said.
“Yes,” Dr. Vammers said. Her voice was huskier. Otto found his cock hardening in response.
“I was working on a solution that I thought would be a topical lubricant,” Dr. Vammers said. She looked at Otto with eyes half closed in arousal. “I was giving it a bombardment of delta radiation when a lightning storm sent a surge through the building.”
“Oh my, were you hurt?” Dr. Von Madd said.
“Thank you for your concern,” Dr. Vammers said. Another button flew off her blouse. A blue tint spread from her checks like a blush down her chest.
“Like I was saying,” Dr. Vammers said as she stood up. Her skirt ripped from her rapidly widening hips. She leaned across the desk and her enormous breasts tore through the remains of her blouse.
“I was bathed in the resulting explosion of experimental lubricant and delta radiation. Now whenever I get aroused, my body goes through these changes until I achieve satisfaction. When I am changed, my mind is different. I am a monstrous blue slut. I am a force of fucking and destruction. I am so fucking horny right now and you are sitting there with your genius mind and that sexy goatee and those mysterious goggles and I want ride your SCIENCE FACE! NOW GET IN MY PUSSY SEXY MAN!”
Dr. Vammers roared as the change completed itself. She grew to a height of seven feet. Her clothes were shredded as giant breasts and hips pushed their way out. The blue color had spread all over her body and her pubic hair turned a lustrous purple. The hair on her head grew down her back and had a rich thick shine to it.
Dr. Von Madd looked at the nude blue giant before him. “Incredible.”
The blue slut got off the desk and threw it to the side with one hand. With the other hand she grabbed Otto by his lab coat. Otto slipped out of his lab coat with a practiced move learned by all Von Madds at an early age. You never knew when you needed to escape a lab coat.
“Tanya, activate emergency ice beams in my office on my mark!”
“Yes, Doctor,” his security chief answered from his ear piece.
“I AM GOING TO RIDE YOUR SMART FACE!” Dr. Vammers screamed.
Dr. Von Madd calculated that the strength in Dr. Vammer’s thighs would crush his skull precisely 3 seconds after orgasm. He adjusted that time to one and a half seconds if he did that trick with his tongue.
He also ducked out of his office and screamed “Mark!”
Automatic frost lasers came to life and fired at Dr. Vammers. Bio-sensitive targeting arrays directed the frost beams to start on Dr. Vammer’s pussy before spreading to the rest of her body. In seconds she was covered in ice.
“What’s going on Doctor?” Tanya asked on the radio. “Did we have another outbreak of spontaneous nymphomania?”
“Not this time, Tanya,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Dr. Vammers is in my officer with an increased body mass and the libido to match.”
The ice around Dr. Vammers started to crack. Her blue breasts shook with rage under the ice. Otto could feel the piercing lust of her glowing red eyes.
“Should I mobilize the Rapid Monster Response Team?” Tanya asked.
“No,” Dr. Von Madd said. He turned to run as the ice shattered in his office.
“I AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR DICK OFF INSIDE ME!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd ran down the corridor. Tanya was pouting over his earpiece.
“You never let me use the Rapid Monster Response Team!” Tanya said. It was always a turn on for Dr. Von Madd when the normally tough blonde was petulant. “You wouldn’t let me use them on that orgy blob that came to life last week. You wouldn’t let me use them when the sex robot from the future attacked yesterday and you wouldn’t let me use them when the flying vibrators came to life this morning!”
Dr. Von Madd slapped a control and watched the steel door drop behind him. A second later, a hole appeared in the door as Dr. Vammers’ fist punched through it.
“SEXY FACE NEEDS TO STOP RUNNING!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd kept running. He also answered Tanya’s complaints.
“Tanya, the orgy blob was made of a trapped scientists and relaxation specialists. I had to dissolve the blob, not pump it full of bullets. The killer sex robot from the future was a gift from an unknown admirer in the future and the flying vibrators just needed someone to accept their status as sentient beings. None of those things require violence and Dr. Vammers certainly does not as well.”
“I disagree,” Tanya said. Her pouty tone was doing distracting things to Dr. Von Madd’s growing erection.
“Please inform Protective Engineering that I will be there shortly and to get the Gauntlet ready,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Also apply nipple clamps to both nipples and leave them there until I say otherwise for being a whiny security chief.”
“Ohhh,” Tanya moaned. It was hard to tell if the moan was of shame of the assessment, dread of the nipple clamps or just plain arousal. It was most likely all three.
“I’M GOING TO FUCK YOU DRY!” Dr. Vammers yelled behind him. The wide hips and long legs were gaining on him. Fortunately the large breasts were not aerodynamic and he was grateful for any small advantage he could get.
Dr. Von Madd slapped an emergency button as he ran by it. Steel cables sprang from the walls in a complex net of tension and metal. It was designed to hold back a sex crazed mob.
Dr. Vammers tore through it in six seconds.
“STOP RUNNING DICKMEAT!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
On Dr. Von Madd’s earpiece, Tanya moaned as the nipple clamps bit into her sensitive nipples.
Dr. Von Madd burst through the doors of Protective Engineering. A very distressed Dr. Zuna handed him the Gauntlet.
“What’s going on Doctor?” Dr. Zuna asked.
“You should leave through the emergency slide,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Unless you fancy being raped to death by a seven foot tall blue woman."
Dr. Zuna scratched his beard and considered it. “Ah, I’ll go through the emergency slide.”
“Good man,” Dr. Von Madd said. He examined the glove. The Gauntlet was as thin as a latex glove but it was constructed of rare metals and a powerful forcefield. It was designed to protect delicate fingers during anal play. Sadly, it cost a million dollars per unit at the moment.
“Sure you don’t want a team of some sort?” Tanya asked. Her voice was strained and her breathing was heavy. The clamps had been preset by Dr. Von Madd to an appropriate punishing level.
“All I need to change the world is a finger and a place to insert it,” Dr. Von Madd said.
The door to the laboratory was ripped from its frame. Dr. Vammers ducked through the door and growled at Dr. Von Madd. She grabbed a massive tit in one hand and squeezed herself.
“TIME TO FUCK LITTLE SCIENCE MAN!”
Dr. Von Madd made an adjustment to the forcefeild generator on the Gauntlet. “I agree.”
He thrust his gloved hand towards Dr. Vanner’s thick pubic hair. Her cunt was soaking wet and took Dr. Von Madd’s fist easily. The suction of her cunt pulled his fist in to his wrist.
“FUCK!” Dr. Vanners moaned.
“Fuck,” Tanya said in agreement over his earpiece.
“Now we will,” Dr. Von Madd said. The Gauntlet began to vibrate. The force fields were slightly out of synchronization and were vibrating against one another. The conflict of fields was shaking Dr. Vammers’ entire body.
“YES YES YES!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd twisted his fist inside Dr, Vammers’ body.
“FUCK FUCK FUCK!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
Dr. Von Madd wiggled his fist in a manner he learned from a Russian exchange intern.
“OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!”
Dr. Von Madd lifted his head and bit down on one of Dr. Vammers’ hard blue nipples.
“CHRIST!” Dr. Vammers yelled.
There was an explosion of light as mass was rapidly converted to energy. Dr. Von Madd pulled his fist out just before Dr. Vammers’ body began to shrink. He watched as Dr. Vammer shrank down to the five foot three woman that he had long admired. Her short shortened, her breasts shrunk and her hips collapsed. Oddly, her pubic hair was still nice and thick.
Dr. Vammers collapsed to the floor and started snoring.
“Tanya, arrange for a security team to take Dr. Vammers to the Cold Shower Room,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I want her under surveillance and a full time medical staff assigned to her care.”
“Yes, Doctor,” Tanya replied. “And umm, Doctor? Can I take the nipple clamps off? I am really sorry that I was whiney earlier.”
“No you may not,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I will take them off myself. Dr. Vammers may have climaxed but I have not. Make sure you are naked except for your nipple clamps by the time I get to your office.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
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