End of the year is always a great time for sex bloggers to pretend that they are pop culture bloggers and make a list. Or it is a great time to just gab about things that they love.
Ryan Kickland is a talented songwriter and composer with a terrific range but his 2010 album "Wood Carvings" is an awesome bit of folk perfection. Although there are songs about criminals unjustly imprisoned and the revenge they plan on the warden, there are also songs about a woodcarver who would love to carve some bizarre grotesque shit but all the people will buy from him is boring boring ass carvings of animals. It is the kind of album I suspect that will resonate more with creative types than anyone else, but it also contains universal gems like "Homesick" that will make a grown man weep for his mom's Sunday dinner.
"Drood" by Dan Simmons is a book about Charles Dickens' best friend, Wilkie Collins, who comes to suspect that Charles Dickens might be a criminal mastermind who murders people for kicks. The genius of the book is that halfway through, you are wondering if Charles Dickens really is a murdering bastard who kills people for fun and mischief.
It is a 700 page monster of a book but thanks to the wonder of Dan Simmons' skill, the pace is blistering. I put off reading this book for awhile because I feared that anything that happened during Charles Dickens' lifetime was going to be a slow ponderous affair. I couldn't have been more wrong. It is a joy to watch a master writer pump so much historical and literary information out and yet still construct a gripping and entertaining story.
"Justified" is a series on FX about a marshal, Raylan, who killed a criminal in Florida in a perfectly legal if slightly trigger happy way and is sent back to his home state of Kentucky as punishment/protection. Raylan might be the greatest gunslinger of the modern world. The problem is that even though his kills are always justified and legal, they make for a shitload of headaches and paperwork.
What makes this series perfect is it goes elbow deep into the white trash criminal underworld of Kentucky. As a North Carolina boy, I never understood why people like "the Sopranos" but man, when I watch "Justified" it is like seeing all the people I knew from home fucking up exactly like I expected them to. I get these people. The only way to make good money is either dangerous back breaking work in the mines, or dangerous but thrilling work for criminals.
Raylan himself is a force of fucking nature. When we watch westerns and tv shows, we suspend belief to allow the hero to do cool action hero things. What makes "Justified" so awesome is that Raylan is a fictional western hero in the real world. People keep fucking with him and he keeps shooting them dead. His boss admires him and hates him at the same time. There is no shortage of scumbags for the meat grinder that is Raylan.
Shrimp Scampi - Take half a stick of butter and a splash of olive oil. Heat up in a pan and add half a pound of shrimp. Cook shrimp for a few minutes and then remove shrimp. Put shrimp in the toaster oven at the lowest heat. Really you just need to keep them warm.
Add another half a stick of butter to your pan along with half a cup of chicken broth and 1/4 cup of white wine. Bring to a boil. Re-add the shrimp again. Add enough crushed garlic to kill a vampire, lemon juice, salt and capers. Cook for another minute or so. Add to pasta. Soak in adoration of spouse.
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Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A Few of My Favorite Things Part One
Christmas vacation is two weeks long here in the Richards household. I haven't been blogging much because all it would be about is how my wife and I played various boardgames. We also ate some really good Japanese food but again, not terribly exciting.
Because it is the end of the year I do want to take some time out and list some of my favorite things like a perverse Maria Von Trapp. These are things that I may or may not have mentioned and I think you would really enjoy them.
Lykke Li is a Swedish songwriter and singer. Just twenty-five years old, her music has that odd combination of youthful optimism and terribly accurate pessimism of what her future contains. Songs range from haunting sexy to haunting morose. Mostly just haunting. She has two albums, "Wounded Rhymes" and "Youth Novels" and I adore both of them.
Pym is a book by Mat Johnson about race, hilarity and Edgar Allen Poe's rather cryptic novel, “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket.” Wait! Don't run away because unlike Poe, this book is easily read by modern audiences and is ten times better. It is also really fucking funny in the way that only discussions about racism can be. I love this book so much I am afraid to discuss it for fear of spoiling anyting or giving away the best jokes. It is my favorite book of the year.
I play a lot of videogames. It is really hard to pick a favorite this year but judging by total time played, I have sunk over a hundred hours into Dungeons of Dredmor, so I guess it is my favorite. Dungeons of Dredmor is a simple game where you control a male or female adventurer, trying to get to the bottom of a dungeon and kill the lich Dredmor. Along the way you will discover traffic cones to wear as helmets, a dozen types of cheese to eat, monsters that look like they were designed by Monty Python and that general feeling of silliness that you get from the best Dungeons and Dragons games, back before you started taking it too seriously.
The game will also fucking murder you. Oh my gods, will it slay you. It is turn based, so you have all the time in the world to make your decisions, which is why it is ten times more painful when a bad decision gets you killed. At least the humor inherent in the violence will keep you smiling.
The Black Keys rock. I should say more but really, when your band consists of one guitarist vocal and a drummer, it is hard to say nice things without sounding like a teenage boy. Wait, I will channel sixteen year old Shon to write this next bit-
"Oh my god you guys! This band rocks! They sing about bad girlfriends and being in love and it sounds all manly and shit without getting depressing like that pussy, Phil Collins! You totally got to listen to them! A lot of their songs are about women who are bad for them, like when I had a crush on Adrian in English class even though she was a total bitch to me in homeroom. They feel my pain!"
Also, their videos are pretty hilarious.
Because it is the end of the year I do want to take some time out and list some of my favorite things like a perverse Maria Von Trapp. These are things that I may or may not have mentioned and I think you would really enjoy them.
Lykke Li is a Swedish songwriter and singer. Just twenty-five years old, her music has that odd combination of youthful optimism and terribly accurate pessimism of what her future contains. Songs range from haunting sexy to haunting morose. Mostly just haunting. She has two albums, "Wounded Rhymes" and "Youth Novels" and I adore both of them.
Pym is a book by Mat Johnson about race, hilarity and Edgar Allen Poe's rather cryptic novel, “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket.” Wait! Don't run away because unlike Poe, this book is easily read by modern audiences and is ten times better. It is also really fucking funny in the way that only discussions about racism can be. I love this book so much I am afraid to discuss it for fear of spoiling anyting or giving away the best jokes. It is my favorite book of the year.
I play a lot of videogames. It is really hard to pick a favorite this year but judging by total time played, I have sunk over a hundred hours into Dungeons of Dredmor, so I guess it is my favorite. Dungeons of Dredmor is a simple game where you control a male or female adventurer, trying to get to the bottom of a dungeon and kill the lich Dredmor. Along the way you will discover traffic cones to wear as helmets, a dozen types of cheese to eat, monsters that look like they were designed by Monty Python and that general feeling of silliness that you get from the best Dungeons and Dragons games, back before you started taking it too seriously.
The game will also fucking murder you. Oh my gods, will it slay you. It is turn based, so you have all the time in the world to make your decisions, which is why it is ten times more painful when a bad decision gets you killed. At least the humor inherent in the violence will keep you smiling.
The Black Keys rock. I should say more but really, when your band consists of one guitarist vocal and a drummer, it is hard to say nice things without sounding like a teenage boy. Wait, I will channel sixteen year old Shon to write this next bit-
"Oh my god you guys! This band rocks! They sing about bad girlfriends and being in love and it sounds all manly and shit without getting depressing like that pussy, Phil Collins! You totally got to listen to them! A lot of their songs are about women who are bad for them, like when I had a crush on Adrian in English class even though she was a total bitch to me in homeroom. They feel my pain!"
Also, their videos are pretty hilarious.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Fiction: Tree Panties
Heidi left her panties on the Christmas tree. I didn’t see them at first. Tucked right underneath the garland, it looked like part of the tree. It was red with white fur trim, the sort of novelty underwear that they sell at Christmas but always looks too trashy to be taken seriously. Which meant it was perfect for Heidi.
The damp spot reflected the flashing Christmas lights. She had soaked her panties on the drive over. She didn’t have time to take them off before I ate her cunt. The cheap material made my tongue feel weird but it was worth it for all the squirming she did.
I remember that she pulled her panties to the side when I fucked her. Heidi was like that. Too horny to even undress, she liked to fuck as soon as possible. She asked me if I liked my gift as I fucked her under the tree. I answered by coming.
Heidi was gone when I came back from the bathroom. That was also like her. She never said goodbye, she just left. The panties on the tree were a nice touch. I guess it really was my gift.
I am just glad I saw it before the wife came home.
The damp spot reflected the flashing Christmas lights. She had soaked her panties on the drive over. She didn’t have time to take them off before I ate her cunt. The cheap material made my tongue feel weird but it was worth it for all the squirming she did.
I remember that she pulled her panties to the side when I fucked her. Heidi was like that. Too horny to even undress, she liked to fuck as soon as possible. She asked me if I liked my gift as I fucked her under the tree. I answered by coming.
Heidi was gone when I came back from the bathroom. That was also like her. She never said goodbye, she just left. The panties on the tree were a nice touch. I guess it really was my gift.
I am just glad I saw it before the wife came home.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Fiction: The Twelve Days of Orgasm Denial
On the first day of her orgasm denial, Emily was told to strip for Walter while he jacked off. She enjoyed playing with her stockings and she loved teasing him with her slow reveal of her heavy breasts but her enjoyment soon turned to frustration when he refused to fuck her.
Emily moaned as he came upon her tits. She was allowed to lick the seed off but the cock was off limits. There would be no cock for her hungry cunt.
On the second day of her orgasm denial, Emily’s ass was spanked with a paddle still in its wrapping paper. The sting of the paddle was not blunted by the thin paper that sheathed it. Walter turned her ass as red as a magic reindeer’s nose.
No matter how wet her cunt made his lap, he refused to even let have a single finger inside her.
On the third day of her orgasm denial, Emily bit her gag as Walter played with her tits. He bit and sucked her sensitive nipples before bringing out the clothespins, the floggers and the terrible clamps. He brought her breasts to life with arousing pain and delicious agony. When he was finished, she was desperately trying to hump his leg.
He ignored her pleas for his cock as he stroked himself off. She watched in frustration as his white seed splashed her tender breasts.
On the fourth day of her orgasm denial, Emily served as Walter’s pillow. She was naked on her stomach as Walter rested his head on her ass. He leaned between her legs and read while she silently prayed for sex.
Walter slept on her bare breasts that night.
On the fifth day of her orgasm denial, Emily listened to all the naughty fucking that Walter planned to do with her. He was going to fuck her mouth. He was going to fuck her ass. He was going to fuck her cunt. He was going to fuck her on the couch, on the table, on the floor and on the damn porch. Walter was very descriptive and he kept her thinking about sex all day long.
Emily squeezed her thighs tightly together but the yearning never went away.
On the sixth day of her orgasm denial, Emily suffered through a wonderful massage. Walter covered her body in warm oil and touched every inch f her skin except her cunt. He rubbed her willing thighs, her arching back and her sensitive nipples.
No matter how hard he massaged her, Emily just couldn’t relax.
On the seventh day of her orgasm denial, Emily was taken to a swinger’s party. They had never been to one before and Emily was amazed at the variety of body types and sexual acts. She couldn’t participate because she was tied to a wall and unable to touch herself. Emily could watch though. She watched for hours as people masturbated, gave blowjobs, went down on strange women and fucked.
It was the longest four hours of her life.
On the eight day of her orgasm denial, Emily was masturbated with a candy cane. She was tied tightly down to the table but still she fought like a slut to touch herself. The cane was too thin, too small and too slow to give her the climax she craved but she was so damn close. Walter teased and pushed the cane inside her with cruel teasing that she had never imagined.
Afterwards, she was allowed to eat the cane and taste her desire.
On the ninth day of her orgasm denial, Emily begged. It was her one chance to cheat the promised torment. She got on her knees before Walter and promised him everything and anything. From deep within, she confessed secrets and offered to do unthinkable acts if it would convince him to fuck her.
He denied her requests.
On the tenth day of her orgasm denial, Emily sucked Walter’s cock. He fucked her mouth with the passion that he denied her cunt. He came in her mouth and she swallowed it all. Later, he came a second time on her face. When the first drops of seed splattered against her face, she never felt so close to orgasm as she did then.
She dreamed of an endless row of cocks for her mouth.
On the eleventh day of her orgasm denial, Emily was tied up for most of the day. She was hogtied. She was suspended from the ceiling. She was bound to the table. She was bound under the desk. All day she was held in rope and her hands were inches away from her hungry cunt.
That night she slept with her hands bound to the headboard.
On the twelfth day of her orgasm denial, Emily was fucked in the ass. She had never climaxed from ass fucking but that day she was sure that she would. When Walter’s cock opened her ass, she felt like she was truly filled for the first time in her life. As he thrust inside her, Emily could feel her orgasm threatening to explode at any moment.
She still hadn’t climaxed when he spilled his seed in her ass.
After the twelfth day of her orgasm denial, Emily was vibrating with need. She cried tears when Walter’s cock finally pushed into her cunt. She hung onto him like a dying woman, dying to be reborn in the fires of her orgasm.
The orgasm eluded her. After so long of dreaming about it, craving it, wanting it and almost feeling it, now she found it impossible to reach. She was too sensitive. Every thrust inside her was overwhelming. Every clench of her cunt was too intense. Emily feared that it would never happen.
Emily climaxed and felt herself changed forever.
Emily moaned as he came upon her tits. She was allowed to lick the seed off but the cock was off limits. There would be no cock for her hungry cunt.
On the second day of her orgasm denial, Emily’s ass was spanked with a paddle still in its wrapping paper. The sting of the paddle was not blunted by the thin paper that sheathed it. Walter turned her ass as red as a magic reindeer’s nose.
No matter how wet her cunt made his lap, he refused to even let have a single finger inside her.
On the third day of her orgasm denial, Emily bit her gag as Walter played with her tits. He bit and sucked her sensitive nipples before bringing out the clothespins, the floggers and the terrible clamps. He brought her breasts to life with arousing pain and delicious agony. When he was finished, she was desperately trying to hump his leg.
He ignored her pleas for his cock as he stroked himself off. She watched in frustration as his white seed splashed her tender breasts.
On the fourth day of her orgasm denial, Emily served as Walter’s pillow. She was naked on her stomach as Walter rested his head on her ass. He leaned between her legs and read while she silently prayed for sex.
Walter slept on her bare breasts that night.
On the fifth day of her orgasm denial, Emily listened to all the naughty fucking that Walter planned to do with her. He was going to fuck her mouth. He was going to fuck her ass. He was going to fuck her cunt. He was going to fuck her on the couch, on the table, on the floor and on the damn porch. Walter was very descriptive and he kept her thinking about sex all day long.
Emily squeezed her thighs tightly together but the yearning never went away.
On the sixth day of her orgasm denial, Emily suffered through a wonderful massage. Walter covered her body in warm oil and touched every inch f her skin except her cunt. He rubbed her willing thighs, her arching back and her sensitive nipples.
No matter how hard he massaged her, Emily just couldn’t relax.
On the seventh day of her orgasm denial, Emily was taken to a swinger’s party. They had never been to one before and Emily was amazed at the variety of body types and sexual acts. She couldn’t participate because she was tied to a wall and unable to touch herself. Emily could watch though. She watched for hours as people masturbated, gave blowjobs, went down on strange women and fucked.
It was the longest four hours of her life.
On the eight day of her orgasm denial, Emily was masturbated with a candy cane. She was tied tightly down to the table but still she fought like a slut to touch herself. The cane was too thin, too small and too slow to give her the climax she craved but she was so damn close. Walter teased and pushed the cane inside her with cruel teasing that she had never imagined.
Afterwards, she was allowed to eat the cane and taste her desire.
On the ninth day of her orgasm denial, Emily begged. It was her one chance to cheat the promised torment. She got on her knees before Walter and promised him everything and anything. From deep within, she confessed secrets and offered to do unthinkable acts if it would convince him to fuck her.
He denied her requests.
On the tenth day of her orgasm denial, Emily sucked Walter’s cock. He fucked her mouth with the passion that he denied her cunt. He came in her mouth and she swallowed it all. Later, he came a second time on her face. When the first drops of seed splattered against her face, she never felt so close to orgasm as she did then.
She dreamed of an endless row of cocks for her mouth.
On the eleventh day of her orgasm denial, Emily was tied up for most of the day. She was hogtied. She was suspended from the ceiling. She was bound to the table. She was bound under the desk. All day she was held in rope and her hands were inches away from her hungry cunt.
That night she slept with her hands bound to the headboard.
On the twelfth day of her orgasm denial, Emily was fucked in the ass. She had never climaxed from ass fucking but that day she was sure that she would. When Walter’s cock opened her ass, she felt like she was truly filled for the first time in her life. As he thrust inside her, Emily could feel her orgasm threatening to explode at any moment.
She still hadn’t climaxed when he spilled his seed in her ass.
After the twelfth day of her orgasm denial, Emily was vibrating with need. She cried tears when Walter’s cock finally pushed into her cunt. She hung onto him like a dying woman, dying to be reborn in the fires of her orgasm.
The orgasm eluded her. After so long of dreaming about it, craving it, wanting it and almost feeling it, now she found it impossible to reach. She was too sensitive. Every thrust inside her was overwhelming. Every clench of her cunt was too intense. Emily feared that it would never happen.
Emily climaxed and felt herself changed forever.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Fiction: The Santa Who Tried to Fuck Christmas
Olivia Pusse’ groaned as they pulled into the mall parking lot. Cars stretched into the horizon. There must be hundreds of people here, if not a thousand. The place was going to be packed tighter than Olivia’s ass when Isaac was inside her last night.
“Now there is going to be kids here, so no guns,” Isaac Cox said.
“Right,” Olivia said. She looked at her partner. At six and half feet tall of black muscle and a gorgeous body, Isaac didn’t need a gun to fuck someone over. Just one swing of his fist was usually enough to break a jaw or an arm.
He looked at her and flashed a smile that made her wet between the thighs. It was the kind of smile that made Olivia feel like the prettiest girl in the whole world. Fuck, it only took him one smile to melt her heart.
She really wished that she knew what the fuck she was getting him for Christmas. It was their first Christmas together and she just knew that his wonderful ass had bought her something special. Olivia usually just got her boyfriends blowjobs for Christmas but that didn’t seem enough this year. Olivia just wished that she could come up with something half as special as she felt for him.
“I’ll try to blend in with the crowd,” Isaac said. Her bounty hunter boyfriend was as focused as a laser for this job.
“I’ll slip in with the Santa attraction and try to confirm that he’s our target,” Olivia said.
Isaac looked at her outfit. “Are you carrying any weapons?”
“Does it look like I am can hide any weapons?” Olivia said. The red Santa coat she was wearing didn’t even come down to her midriff and it had a cleavage that was far more naughty than nice. The red skirt she wore barely covered her ass but the white stockings prevented any unexpected chimney entries. The leather boots she wore were thigh high but they did have little jingle bells on them. Her long blonde hair spilled out from under a Santa hat.
“From what Dr. Von Madd said, this robot can easily kill a man with its bare hands,” Isaac said.
“Right, and I used to be a cheerleader,” Olivia said, “and before that, a teenage girl detective. I have broken more hands than a crazy robot ever has. I’ll be fine.”
Isaac smiled again. “Baby, you are always more than fine.”
From anyone else, it would have sounded like a cheesy line. The reason Olivia felt her thighs clench was because when Isaac said it, he genuinely meant it.
She really needed to find him something awesome for a Christmas gift.
“Let’s move out,” Isaac said.
They entered the mall at different entrances. Olivia saw the stunned looks of shoppers as she walked by. Yeah, she knew that she had dressed too sexy to work in a mall but she also knew that a sexy woman could cut through a crowd faster than anybody. Guys pushed wives out of the way to let her through. Small children looked in awe at her busty blonde body and wondered at the strange feelings in their pants.
It gave her a clear view of what everyone was selling. She walked at a brisk pace but she was still looking for anything to buy Isaac. Ever since they had gotten together, they had been working jobs tracking down bad people for Dr. Von Madd. They rarely had recreation time and when they did, they spent all of that time fucking. Sure, they are and watched a few movies, but mostly that was to rest between fuckings.
Mp3 players seemed pointless. Fancy electronic book reading machines were silly when the only books they read now were dirty books to each other. Isaac had his two favorite chrome pistols so buying him another gun wouldn’t be special. Shit, there just wasn’t anything that she knew that he wanted.
Olivia was seriously considering calling one of her sorority sisters from college and seeing if she could work out a Christmas threesome. The only problem with that is that Isaac hadn’t even glanced at another woman since they had been together. An extra woman might just be work to him.
It was times like these that she wished her boyfriend was a little less awesome. It would certainly take the pressure off her.
It took her no time to reach Santa’s Village. Santa’s seat was empty. Beside the chair stood two very bored looking male staff dressed as elves. A long line of children and their parents had already formed. The poor bastards.
Only Olivia and Isaac knew that the insane inventor, Dr. Gedo, had created a sex robot to take Santa’s place this year. The sick inventor had a thing for children but due to a very fortunate electrical accident, he didn’t have any working equipment below the belt. The perverted fuck created a pedophile sex robot to enjoy the twisted fantasies that Dr. Gedo himself could not enjoy. By disguising the vile robot as Santa, he guaranteed that his victims would come to him.
The bad Dr. Gedo was rotting in a jail cell but his creation was missing. Olivia and Isaac could only hope to stop the bad Santa before Santa’s Village opened for business.
“Hey guys!” Olivia said to the two mall elves. “I’m new here!”
“Holy mistletoe!” one guy said. The other guy was too busy staring at the tanned slope of Olivia’s breasts.
“Is Santa here, yet?” she asked. She pounded her fist into her hand as she asked the question.
“Uh, yeah,” the speaking guy said. Staring guy said nothing. “He should be coming out right about now.”
“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa boomed. He stepped out from behind a Christmas tree. He was a bit taller than Isaac, which concerned Olivia a bit. When he moved, his thick bulk didn’t jiggle with fat or stuffing. He was rock solid.
“Which one of you boys and girls want to ride Santa’s lap first?” Santa said. “I got a candy cane for you if you can find it! Ho, ho ho-erk!”
Santa’s lewd comment was interrupted by Olivia’s leather boot colliding with his face. His bright red nose crumpled and exploded in a shower of sparks.
“SHE NINJA KICKED SANTA!” a horrified child screamed.
“Power down, Santa!” Olivia yelled. “Dr. Gedo is back in prison!”
“Swallow this!” Santa replied. He opened his mouth and a thick spray of white and pink liquid flew from his mouth.
Olivia dodged it with an easy somersault over a fake bag of toys. The two mall elves behind her were not so lucky. The spray hit them in their face and they screamed in pain. They clutched their eyes and rolled on the ground. The smell of peppermint hung in the air.
“Was that a peppermint pepper spray?” Olivia asked. That Dr. Gedo was an evil bastard.
“Someone’s been naughty!” Santa yelled. He yanked off his black belt and cracked it like a whip in the air. Sharp blades emerged from the end of the belt. Some of the more violent kids applauded this new development.
Santa whipped his belt at Olivia and cleaved the top of a Christmas tree beside her. As Olivia dodged to the right, his belt snapped out and tore off the top of a plastic Christmas tree. Olivia was fine but her sudden movement was too much for her sexy top. Her right breast almost fell out and she clutched it with her hand to protect the innocence of the children.
“Tits!” a kid yelled. He was soon smacked by his mom.
“Where the fuck is Isaac?” Olivia wondered. She looked into the crowd but all she saw were smiling kids and their staring parents. Shit, even Isaac would have a hard time fighting through that crowd.
Fine, she’ll handle this on her own.
She made a run for Santa. The laughing robot held out his arms and extended robots fingers an extra seven inches. Olivia tried not to think about why a sex robot needed extra long fingers and focused on the fake reindeer in front of her. She jumped on the reindeer with a perfect cheerleader leap and sailed through the air feet first.
Olivia kicked Santa in the head so hard that his face spun around one hundred and eighty degrees. Several children screamed at the grotesque act of near decapitation. Olivia landed on the ground beside Santa and paused a moment to see which way he would fall.
The children began to applaud and Olivia knew something bad had happened. She dodged just in time as backwards facing Santa made a grab for her head. He grabbed her hat instead and he stuffed it into his mouth. In seconds, he had shredded the hat with chainsaw teeth.
“Not as nice as your panties would be, but it better than cookies!” Santa said. His head turned around and snapped back into the right place.
“Well fuck,” Olivia said.
Santa took a step towards her when a reindeer crashed into him from behind. As Santa staggered, a tree slammed into him followed by a sleigh. Olivia smiled when she saw Isaac picking up a giant nutcracker soldier to throw at Santa next.
Olivia realized that she really needed to get her boyfriend a great Christmas gift.
“That black man is hurting Santa!” a kid cried.
The more racist kids charged away from their parents and ran right into Isaac. The giant black man had no idea how to disengage small children from his legs. Olivia knew that if those were horny adult women, his stripper training would kick in and he would have no trouble. To an adult entertainer like Isaac, children were an entirely foreign experience.
“Good children!” Santa yelled. “I am going to give each of you a treat for being a good! Right up your asses!”
A shocked gasp rippled through the crowd of parents. They kept watching though.
Santa opened his pants and a large steel contraption emerged from his crotch. It looked like some sort of gun. It might be some kind of sex toy.
“Shit,” Olivia said. “It is probably both.”
And it was aimed at her boyfriend.
“Hell no!” Olivia yelled. She planted a kick right into Santa’s knee. The sound of tortured metal squealed as Santa’s leg gave out.
As Santa stumbled, Olivia jumped and locked her thighs around Santa’s head. She was careful to avoid his mouth as she fell back with her body weight. Olivia hit the fake snow hard but Santa fell with her and they were both on the ground.
Olivia squeezed. The kids and parents looked on as she squeezed her thighs around Santa’s head. She didn’t care. The dumb fuckers should be moving since Santa’s metal extension was now pointing at them.
“Drink my eggnog!” Santa cried as his head began to collapse.
Olivia squeezed tighter. She tried to imagine that Isaac was between her thighs licking her cunt and he was thinking of stopping.
Sparks flew from Santa’s head. “Who’s your Father Christmas?”
Olivia clenched her thighs even tighter. She had one chance to kill this Santa and it would be up to the power of her thighs.
Santa’s legs twitched as major malfunctions rippled through his body. “I will make you ride my North Pole!”
Olivia squeezed.
Santa’s head crumpled under the tremendous stress. His body stopped moving and his strange metal cock retracted back into his body. The evil robot was dead.
“Olivia, are you okay!” Isaac said. He stood over her and held out his hand. He still had a racist kid clinging to one of his legs.
Olivia took his hand and let him help her up. She then grabbed the ear of the racist kid and twisted until he let go. The racist kid went crying to his mom.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Olivia said. “Turns out that a pedophile robot Santa can’t handle an adult woman’ thighs.”
“Shit, I can barely handle them,” Isaac said. He took of his black duster and wrapped it around Olivia’s body. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. Mall Security will be here any minute now that it is safe.”
They hurried towards an exit. Psychologically traumatized children lingered near Santa and tried to steal bits off of him. Mall Security guards ran past Olivia and Isaac in a valiant attempt to appear useful.
“Isaac?” Olivia said. “What the fuck do you want for Christmas? I know you got me something awesome because you are a sweet guy but damn it, I just can’t think of anything to get you.”
Isaac stopped walking and he looked at her. “Olivia, all I want for Christmas is to wake up next to you. You are the greatest gift I have in my life and honestly, that is all I could ever want much less needed.”
Olivia reached up and pulled his bald head down to her for a kiss. When they both ran out of air, she hugged him in the busy mall.
“Although I have to say,” Isaac added. “If you were wearing this outfit when I woke up, that would be pretty nice too.”
Olivia hugged him tighter. “Okay, but I won’t be wearing it for long.”
“Now there is going to be kids here, so no guns,” Isaac Cox said.
“Right,” Olivia said. She looked at her partner. At six and half feet tall of black muscle and a gorgeous body, Isaac didn’t need a gun to fuck someone over. Just one swing of his fist was usually enough to break a jaw or an arm.
He looked at her and flashed a smile that made her wet between the thighs. It was the kind of smile that made Olivia feel like the prettiest girl in the whole world. Fuck, it only took him one smile to melt her heart.
She really wished that she knew what the fuck she was getting him for Christmas. It was their first Christmas together and she just knew that his wonderful ass had bought her something special. Olivia usually just got her boyfriends blowjobs for Christmas but that didn’t seem enough this year. Olivia just wished that she could come up with something half as special as she felt for him.
“I’ll try to blend in with the crowd,” Isaac said. Her bounty hunter boyfriend was as focused as a laser for this job.
“I’ll slip in with the Santa attraction and try to confirm that he’s our target,” Olivia said.
Isaac looked at her outfit. “Are you carrying any weapons?”
“Does it look like I am can hide any weapons?” Olivia said. The red Santa coat she was wearing didn’t even come down to her midriff and it had a cleavage that was far more naughty than nice. The red skirt she wore barely covered her ass but the white stockings prevented any unexpected chimney entries. The leather boots she wore were thigh high but they did have little jingle bells on them. Her long blonde hair spilled out from under a Santa hat.
“From what Dr. Von Madd said, this robot can easily kill a man with its bare hands,” Isaac said.
“Right, and I used to be a cheerleader,” Olivia said, “and before that, a teenage girl detective. I have broken more hands than a crazy robot ever has. I’ll be fine.”
Isaac smiled again. “Baby, you are always more than fine.”
From anyone else, it would have sounded like a cheesy line. The reason Olivia felt her thighs clench was because when Isaac said it, he genuinely meant it.
She really needed to find him something awesome for a Christmas gift.
“Let’s move out,” Isaac said.
They entered the mall at different entrances. Olivia saw the stunned looks of shoppers as she walked by. Yeah, she knew that she had dressed too sexy to work in a mall but she also knew that a sexy woman could cut through a crowd faster than anybody. Guys pushed wives out of the way to let her through. Small children looked in awe at her busty blonde body and wondered at the strange feelings in their pants.
It gave her a clear view of what everyone was selling. She walked at a brisk pace but she was still looking for anything to buy Isaac. Ever since they had gotten together, they had been working jobs tracking down bad people for Dr. Von Madd. They rarely had recreation time and when they did, they spent all of that time fucking. Sure, they are and watched a few movies, but mostly that was to rest between fuckings.
Mp3 players seemed pointless. Fancy electronic book reading machines were silly when the only books they read now were dirty books to each other. Isaac had his two favorite chrome pistols so buying him another gun wouldn’t be special. Shit, there just wasn’t anything that she knew that he wanted.
Olivia was seriously considering calling one of her sorority sisters from college and seeing if she could work out a Christmas threesome. The only problem with that is that Isaac hadn’t even glanced at another woman since they had been together. An extra woman might just be work to him.
It was times like these that she wished her boyfriend was a little less awesome. It would certainly take the pressure off her.
It took her no time to reach Santa’s Village. Santa’s seat was empty. Beside the chair stood two very bored looking male staff dressed as elves. A long line of children and their parents had already formed. The poor bastards.
Only Olivia and Isaac knew that the insane inventor, Dr. Gedo, had created a sex robot to take Santa’s place this year. The sick inventor had a thing for children but due to a very fortunate electrical accident, he didn’t have any working equipment below the belt. The perverted fuck created a pedophile sex robot to enjoy the twisted fantasies that Dr. Gedo himself could not enjoy. By disguising the vile robot as Santa, he guaranteed that his victims would come to him.
The bad Dr. Gedo was rotting in a jail cell but his creation was missing. Olivia and Isaac could only hope to stop the bad Santa before Santa’s Village opened for business.
“Hey guys!” Olivia said to the two mall elves. “I’m new here!”
“Holy mistletoe!” one guy said. The other guy was too busy staring at the tanned slope of Olivia’s breasts.
“Is Santa here, yet?” she asked. She pounded her fist into her hand as she asked the question.
“Uh, yeah,” the speaking guy said. Staring guy said nothing. “He should be coming out right about now.”
“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa boomed. He stepped out from behind a Christmas tree. He was a bit taller than Isaac, which concerned Olivia a bit. When he moved, his thick bulk didn’t jiggle with fat or stuffing. He was rock solid.
“Which one of you boys and girls want to ride Santa’s lap first?” Santa said. “I got a candy cane for you if you can find it! Ho, ho ho-erk!”
Santa’s lewd comment was interrupted by Olivia’s leather boot colliding with his face. His bright red nose crumpled and exploded in a shower of sparks.
“SHE NINJA KICKED SANTA!” a horrified child screamed.
“Power down, Santa!” Olivia yelled. “Dr. Gedo is back in prison!”
“Swallow this!” Santa replied. He opened his mouth and a thick spray of white and pink liquid flew from his mouth.
Olivia dodged it with an easy somersault over a fake bag of toys. The two mall elves behind her were not so lucky. The spray hit them in their face and they screamed in pain. They clutched their eyes and rolled on the ground. The smell of peppermint hung in the air.
“Was that a peppermint pepper spray?” Olivia asked. That Dr. Gedo was an evil bastard.
“Someone’s been naughty!” Santa yelled. He yanked off his black belt and cracked it like a whip in the air. Sharp blades emerged from the end of the belt. Some of the more violent kids applauded this new development.
Santa whipped his belt at Olivia and cleaved the top of a Christmas tree beside her. As Olivia dodged to the right, his belt snapped out and tore off the top of a plastic Christmas tree. Olivia was fine but her sudden movement was too much for her sexy top. Her right breast almost fell out and she clutched it with her hand to protect the innocence of the children.
“Tits!” a kid yelled. He was soon smacked by his mom.
“Where the fuck is Isaac?” Olivia wondered. She looked into the crowd but all she saw were smiling kids and their staring parents. Shit, even Isaac would have a hard time fighting through that crowd.
Fine, she’ll handle this on her own.
She made a run for Santa. The laughing robot held out his arms and extended robots fingers an extra seven inches. Olivia tried not to think about why a sex robot needed extra long fingers and focused on the fake reindeer in front of her. She jumped on the reindeer with a perfect cheerleader leap and sailed through the air feet first.
Olivia kicked Santa in the head so hard that his face spun around one hundred and eighty degrees. Several children screamed at the grotesque act of near decapitation. Olivia landed on the ground beside Santa and paused a moment to see which way he would fall.
The children began to applaud and Olivia knew something bad had happened. She dodged just in time as backwards facing Santa made a grab for her head. He grabbed her hat instead and he stuffed it into his mouth. In seconds, he had shredded the hat with chainsaw teeth.
“Not as nice as your panties would be, but it better than cookies!” Santa said. His head turned around and snapped back into the right place.
“Well fuck,” Olivia said.
Santa took a step towards her when a reindeer crashed into him from behind. As Santa staggered, a tree slammed into him followed by a sleigh. Olivia smiled when she saw Isaac picking up a giant nutcracker soldier to throw at Santa next.
Olivia realized that she really needed to get her boyfriend a great Christmas gift.
“That black man is hurting Santa!” a kid cried.
The more racist kids charged away from their parents and ran right into Isaac. The giant black man had no idea how to disengage small children from his legs. Olivia knew that if those were horny adult women, his stripper training would kick in and he would have no trouble. To an adult entertainer like Isaac, children were an entirely foreign experience.
“Good children!” Santa yelled. “I am going to give each of you a treat for being a good! Right up your asses!”
A shocked gasp rippled through the crowd of parents. They kept watching though.
Santa opened his pants and a large steel contraption emerged from his crotch. It looked like some sort of gun. It might be some kind of sex toy.
“Shit,” Olivia said. “It is probably both.”
And it was aimed at her boyfriend.
“Hell no!” Olivia yelled. She planted a kick right into Santa’s knee. The sound of tortured metal squealed as Santa’s leg gave out.
As Santa stumbled, Olivia jumped and locked her thighs around Santa’s head. She was careful to avoid his mouth as she fell back with her body weight. Olivia hit the fake snow hard but Santa fell with her and they were both on the ground.
Olivia squeezed. The kids and parents looked on as she squeezed her thighs around Santa’s head. She didn’t care. The dumb fuckers should be moving since Santa’s metal extension was now pointing at them.
“Drink my eggnog!” Santa cried as his head began to collapse.
Olivia squeezed tighter. She tried to imagine that Isaac was between her thighs licking her cunt and he was thinking of stopping.
Sparks flew from Santa’s head. “Who’s your Father Christmas?”
Olivia clenched her thighs even tighter. She had one chance to kill this Santa and it would be up to the power of her thighs.
Santa’s legs twitched as major malfunctions rippled through his body. “I will make you ride my North Pole!”
Olivia squeezed.
Santa’s head crumpled under the tremendous stress. His body stopped moving and his strange metal cock retracted back into his body. The evil robot was dead.
“Olivia, are you okay!” Isaac said. He stood over her and held out his hand. He still had a racist kid clinging to one of his legs.
Olivia took his hand and let him help her up. She then grabbed the ear of the racist kid and twisted until he let go. The racist kid went crying to his mom.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Olivia said. “Turns out that a pedophile robot Santa can’t handle an adult woman’ thighs.”
“Shit, I can barely handle them,” Isaac said. He took of his black duster and wrapped it around Olivia’s body. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. Mall Security will be here any minute now that it is safe.”
They hurried towards an exit. Psychologically traumatized children lingered near Santa and tried to steal bits off of him. Mall Security guards ran past Olivia and Isaac in a valiant attempt to appear useful.
“Isaac?” Olivia said. “What the fuck do you want for Christmas? I know you got me something awesome because you are a sweet guy but damn it, I just can’t think of anything to get you.”
Isaac stopped walking and he looked at her. “Olivia, all I want for Christmas is to wake up next to you. You are the greatest gift I have in my life and honestly, that is all I could ever want much less needed.”
Olivia reached up and pulled his bald head down to her for a kiss. When they both ran out of air, she hugged him in the busy mall.
“Although I have to say,” Isaac added. “If you were wearing this outfit when I woke up, that would be pretty nice too.”
Olivia hugged him tighter. “Okay, but I won’t be wearing it for long.”
Monday, December 12, 2011
Buck Pole Announcement
Eros University would like to remind our students that the dorms will be closed for the holidays beginning December 19th. We understand that many of our students will wish to continue their erotic education over the holidays and have no interest in returning home where they might have to explain to their grandmothers what Gangbang Physics 101 is. To accommodate these students, we will once again be opening up the Buck Pole in Student Plaza.
The Buck Pole is a tradition that has existed for 40 years to help place students with homes who can provide an erotic education over the holiday period. The Buck Pole was originally a place for the local town people to hang their deer hunting trophies but now it has been repurposed as a place for students to show off themselves in hopes of finding an interesting alternative for the holidays. These men, women, couples and sometimes sex clubs, open up their homes and legs to welcome our students. In exchange for lodging, meals and a comfortable environment, the students share what they have earned with their generous hosts.
To participate, all a student needs to do is appear at the Buck Pole at noon, buck naked. If they have preferences or limitations, they should write these on their body. For example, students will write that they are heterosexual, prefer bondage or are lactose intolerant. Some students have found homes by listing what classes they are taking. Majoring in Oral Pleasure is a sure way to get into the home of a lonely widow during the holiday. Although no clothing is allowed, feel free to get creative and festive with your writing and use colored markers or stencil some snowflakes onto yourself.
Students are free of course to turn down any proposals from interested town people but keep in mind that the town people are the ones doing the inviting. You are representing Eros University and any poor behavior will be reported and recorded in your permanent record.
Dean of Student Affairs
Paul Grayon
The Buck Pole is a tradition that has existed for 40 years to help place students with homes who can provide an erotic education over the holiday period. The Buck Pole was originally a place for the local town people to hang their deer hunting trophies but now it has been repurposed as a place for students to show off themselves in hopes of finding an interesting alternative for the holidays. These men, women, couples and sometimes sex clubs, open up their homes and legs to welcome our students. In exchange for lodging, meals and a comfortable environment, the students share what they have earned with their generous hosts.
To participate, all a student needs to do is appear at the Buck Pole at noon, buck naked. If they have preferences or limitations, they should write these on their body. For example, students will write that they are heterosexual, prefer bondage or are lactose intolerant. Some students have found homes by listing what classes they are taking. Majoring in Oral Pleasure is a sure way to get into the home of a lonely widow during the holiday. Although no clothing is allowed, feel free to get creative and festive with your writing and use colored markers or stencil some snowflakes onto yourself.
Students are free of course to turn down any proposals from interested town people but keep in mind that the town people are the ones doing the inviting. You are representing Eros University and any poor behavior will be reported and recorded in your permanent record.
Dean of Student Affairs
Paul Grayon
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Fiction: Christmas Bonus
I looked at the festive green envelope with disdain. There it was, sitting on my desk as a cruel reminder of how much my boss, Sandra, disrespects me and my fellow coworkers. Inside will be the annual Christmas card from my manager and also there will be a tiny gift card for a measly twenty-five bucks to some place I would never go to. Last year it was to a bath store in the mall and the year before that, a pet store. What the fuck? Are they subtle insults or just complete indifference?
The envelope said Jeff Grenich so I know it was for me even though there are two n’s in my name. I have worked here four years and she still spells my name wrong.
I sit and open it. I am morbidly curious to see what hellhole the gift card is for this year.
There was a note.
“Hey Rodney, please use this gift card at 9am this morning. I am free until lunch.
Yours,
Sandra”
Rodney? Rodney Celler in sales? I looked for the gift card. It was hand written on a small index card.
“This card is good for one long sloppy blowjob until you explode down my throat in a flood of cum. Redeem this card in Sandra Miller’s waiting mouth.”
Well now. That was unexpected and obviously not meant for me.
I looked at the time. 8:42. Close enough.
I adjusted the erection I had in my pants so it wouldn’t be visible when I stood up. I held the card in my hand as I walked past my unhappy coworkers opening their Christmas cards. The smile that came to my lips must have confused the hell out of them.
I let myself into Sandra’s office. She was on the phone and she looked at me with annoyance. The thick blonde hair that she wore in her very professional manner looked even more severe when she frowned. It occurred to me that I had no idea how it looked when she smiled.
I also noticed that her clothes were slightly different from usual. She was wearing a red blazer that showed a lot of cleavage. Gold earrings that were a little inappropriate for an office dangled from each ear. I suspected that if I looked behind that desk, she might actually be wearing a skirt and heels.
“Yes, I will get those numbers to you soon,” she said to the phone. “I have to go now and get ready for an appointment. Bye. And what do you want Jeff?”
“I wanted to thank you for my gift card.”
Her frown softened a millimeter. “You are very welcome. I hope you enjoy shopping at health store. They have excellent digestion supplements.”
“Oh? That is not what it says on my card?”
I showed the card to her. I made sure to keep it in my hand and I snatched it away when she reached for it. The frown deepened and then transformed into a snarl.
“How did you get that?” she asked.
“It was in an envelope addressed to me,” I said. “I was surprised but then, I have done really good work this year.”
Sandra snorted at that before realizing the position that she was in. She smiled in what I think was meant to be a pleasant manner. It was unsettling.
“Oh Jeff, I think there has been a mix up. Why don’t you hand that card over and we’ll pretend this never happened. Maybe I could look into getting a better parking spot in exchange for your understanding?”
“No, Sandra,” I said. My voice was much firmer than even I expected. “I want to redeem the card, and the instructions were quite clear on how to redeem it.”
Sandra stared at me. Color rose to her pale cheeks. Cold blue eyes narrowed at me and planned a thousand humiliations for me. I noticed her red lipstick for the first time and realized that it was for a cock.
“Or I could go give it to Human Resources along with my letter and ask them why my manager is sexually harassing me?”
Sandra closed her eyes. “Make sure the door is locked.”
The handle locked with a satisfying click. It was not as satisfying as the look on Sandra’s face when I walked around to her side of the desk. Nor was it as satisfying as the feeling of her fingers undoing my belt, then my zipper and then pulling my cock from my briefs.
Sandra looked at my cock. Maybe she was rethinking it. I helped her decide with my hand to the back of her head. My hands wrapped into that perfectly coifed hair and pulled her to my cock.
She opened her lipstick covered lips and took me in. She only took the tip of me at first, her lips wrapping around the head of my cock. Before I could think that she was shirking her duty, I felt her tongue licking at the slit. That sharp tongue that had rebuked me so many times was flicking at my tip like an oral professional.
I groaned. My plan was to be cool and distant but I couldn’t do it. God damn it, she was good.
Sandra’s fingers went to my balls and held them with a gentleness that I didn’t think she was capable of. A small tug of my balls and my cock slipped deeper into her mouth. This time she was the one that moaned.
My hand went to her chest. I slipped right under the blazer and felt her breast under the thin shirt she wore. I felt nipple and quite a bit of underwire.
Her eyes glared at me. I glared back and squeezed her breast.
She closed her eyes and took another inch of me into her mouth. Fuck. Her cheeks caved in as she sucked as hard as could. My fingers closed reflexively around her breast and I think we both moaned.
I squeezed her tit harder. My fingers repaid her for every time she dismissed one of my ideas. I twisted her nipple for every time she passed me over for a promotion. I pulled on her breast for every time she had stuck me with the shit work. I grabbed her tit because she didn’t want me to.
Sandra pulled my cock deeper into her mouth. I watched in lust as my cock disappeared between her lips. The grip on my balls grew tighter but I was too enthralled to mind.
When there was no more cock to devour, she pulled her head back ten times as fast as she took me in. I groaned as she remounted my cock with her mouth. The time for slowness was gone. I shuddered as her head snapped back and forth with an expertise that I could barely comprehend. I was watching it but I still couldn’t believe how fast and hard she was sucking my cock. I let go of her head just and Sandra just went faster.
Spit dribbled down to my balls and onto her hand. Her mouth was as wet as any pussy. Wetter. Back and forth she fucked my cock. I swear her lips made squishy sounds as she blew me.
Lipstick smeared my cock. Sandra’s hair bounced with every thrust of her head. Her fingers squeezed around my balls as if trying to command the sperm out of me.
I was going to come. I forgot about how bad of a boss she was. She was just a mouth that I desperately wanted to come in. Nothing else was important.
When I filled her mouth with seed, she stopped and took all of me into her mouth. Her fingers tight around my balls as she sucked, pulled and swallowed every last drop from my cock.
My knees grew weak and I leaned against her desk. Sandra looked up at me and smiled. She wiped a line of spit from her chin.
“The card,” she said.
I gave it to her. I wanted to say something cold and cruel but my mind was as empty as my cock. She took the card and slipped it into her blazer. She was saving it to use again later.
“Go, Jeff,” she said. “I still expect the Monthly report today.”
I nodded and zipped up my pants. Of course it was due today. There was no need to remind me of it, I had never been late with it before.
For once though, her reminder didn’t bother me as much as it usually did.
The envelope said Jeff Grenich so I know it was for me even though there are two n’s in my name. I have worked here four years and she still spells my name wrong.
I sit and open it. I am morbidly curious to see what hellhole the gift card is for this year.
There was a note.
“Hey Rodney, please use this gift card at 9am this morning. I am free until lunch.
Yours,
Sandra”
Rodney? Rodney Celler in sales? I looked for the gift card. It was hand written on a small index card.
“This card is good for one long sloppy blowjob until you explode down my throat in a flood of cum. Redeem this card in Sandra Miller’s waiting mouth.”
Well now. That was unexpected and obviously not meant for me.
I looked at the time. 8:42. Close enough.
I adjusted the erection I had in my pants so it wouldn’t be visible when I stood up. I held the card in my hand as I walked past my unhappy coworkers opening their Christmas cards. The smile that came to my lips must have confused the hell out of them.
I let myself into Sandra’s office. She was on the phone and she looked at me with annoyance. The thick blonde hair that she wore in her very professional manner looked even more severe when she frowned. It occurred to me that I had no idea how it looked when she smiled.
I also noticed that her clothes were slightly different from usual. She was wearing a red blazer that showed a lot of cleavage. Gold earrings that were a little inappropriate for an office dangled from each ear. I suspected that if I looked behind that desk, she might actually be wearing a skirt and heels.
“Yes, I will get those numbers to you soon,” she said to the phone. “I have to go now and get ready for an appointment. Bye. And what do you want Jeff?”
“I wanted to thank you for my gift card.”
Her frown softened a millimeter. “You are very welcome. I hope you enjoy shopping at health store. They have excellent digestion supplements.”
“Oh? That is not what it says on my card?”
I showed the card to her. I made sure to keep it in my hand and I snatched it away when she reached for it. The frown deepened and then transformed into a snarl.
“How did you get that?” she asked.
“It was in an envelope addressed to me,” I said. “I was surprised but then, I have done really good work this year.”
Sandra snorted at that before realizing the position that she was in. She smiled in what I think was meant to be a pleasant manner. It was unsettling.
“Oh Jeff, I think there has been a mix up. Why don’t you hand that card over and we’ll pretend this never happened. Maybe I could look into getting a better parking spot in exchange for your understanding?”
“No, Sandra,” I said. My voice was much firmer than even I expected. “I want to redeem the card, and the instructions were quite clear on how to redeem it.”
Sandra stared at me. Color rose to her pale cheeks. Cold blue eyes narrowed at me and planned a thousand humiliations for me. I noticed her red lipstick for the first time and realized that it was for a cock.
“Or I could go give it to Human Resources along with my letter and ask them why my manager is sexually harassing me?”
Sandra closed her eyes. “Make sure the door is locked.”
The handle locked with a satisfying click. It was not as satisfying as the look on Sandra’s face when I walked around to her side of the desk. Nor was it as satisfying as the feeling of her fingers undoing my belt, then my zipper and then pulling my cock from my briefs.
Sandra looked at my cock. Maybe she was rethinking it. I helped her decide with my hand to the back of her head. My hands wrapped into that perfectly coifed hair and pulled her to my cock.
She opened her lipstick covered lips and took me in. She only took the tip of me at first, her lips wrapping around the head of my cock. Before I could think that she was shirking her duty, I felt her tongue licking at the slit. That sharp tongue that had rebuked me so many times was flicking at my tip like an oral professional.
I groaned. My plan was to be cool and distant but I couldn’t do it. God damn it, she was good.
Sandra’s fingers went to my balls and held them with a gentleness that I didn’t think she was capable of. A small tug of my balls and my cock slipped deeper into her mouth. This time she was the one that moaned.
My hand went to her chest. I slipped right under the blazer and felt her breast under the thin shirt she wore. I felt nipple and quite a bit of underwire.
Her eyes glared at me. I glared back and squeezed her breast.
She closed her eyes and took another inch of me into her mouth. Fuck. Her cheeks caved in as she sucked as hard as could. My fingers closed reflexively around her breast and I think we both moaned.
I squeezed her tit harder. My fingers repaid her for every time she dismissed one of my ideas. I twisted her nipple for every time she passed me over for a promotion. I pulled on her breast for every time she had stuck me with the shit work. I grabbed her tit because she didn’t want me to.
Sandra pulled my cock deeper into her mouth. I watched in lust as my cock disappeared between her lips. The grip on my balls grew tighter but I was too enthralled to mind.
When there was no more cock to devour, she pulled her head back ten times as fast as she took me in. I groaned as she remounted my cock with her mouth. The time for slowness was gone. I shuddered as her head snapped back and forth with an expertise that I could barely comprehend. I was watching it but I still couldn’t believe how fast and hard she was sucking my cock. I let go of her head just and Sandra just went faster.
Spit dribbled down to my balls and onto her hand. Her mouth was as wet as any pussy. Wetter. Back and forth she fucked my cock. I swear her lips made squishy sounds as she blew me.
Lipstick smeared my cock. Sandra’s hair bounced with every thrust of her head. Her fingers squeezed around my balls as if trying to command the sperm out of me.
I was going to come. I forgot about how bad of a boss she was. She was just a mouth that I desperately wanted to come in. Nothing else was important.
When I filled her mouth with seed, she stopped and took all of me into her mouth. Her fingers tight around my balls as she sucked, pulled and swallowed every last drop from my cock.
My knees grew weak and I leaned against her desk. Sandra looked up at me and smiled. She wiped a line of spit from her chin.
“The card,” she said.
I gave it to her. I wanted to say something cold and cruel but my mind was as empty as my cock. She took the card and slipped it into her blazer. She was saving it to use again later.
“Go, Jeff,” she said. “I still expect the Monthly report today.”
I nodded and zipped up my pants. Of course it was due today. There was no need to remind me of it, I had never been late with it before.
For once though, her reminder didn’t bother me as much as it usually did.
Monday, December 05, 2011
Fortune and Glory!
Fortune and Glory is a board game from Flying Frog where players take on the roles of 1930's explorers, scientists, reporters and club singers as they explore ancient temples, dangerous tombs and terrible traps in the search for fantastic mythical treasure.
It is also a board game that costs around 100$. Well, that's the 'fortune' part of the title right there.
On the other hand, every single dollar is visible in this game. Instead of the expected cardboard counters, there are quite a few plastic miniatures and plastic coins. The cards are made of some high quality glossy stuff that I suspect could survive several drinks spills. The box itself is about twice the length of most games. Hell, the game comes with a soundtrack(!) of quite good background music for playing the game.
I have to take a moment to mention the art style for this game. They use pulp style illustrations for some of the cards, but every character and quite a few other cards use color photos of people dressed in period clothes. Some people have criticized the photos as looking like cosplayers you would see at conventions but personally, I consider that to be a huge plus. They look like people having fun dressing up as mobsters and sexy reporters. Fun is infectious. It is impossible to look at the character photos and not want to go grab your own prop to dress up with.Which brings us to the game itself. The game has several gameplay modes. I highly recommend trying the simplest mode first, which is competitive.
Do you remember the first Indiana Jones movie where Indy breaks into the temple and comes out with the treasure, only to lose it that asshole archeologist who was waiting for him? That is competitive mode in this game. Players race against each to grab treasure, doing their best to sabotage each other and claim artifacts for themselves.
The more complicated mode is cooperative mode where players work together against a common enemy. The enemy in this case is either the Nazis (hiss!) or the Mob (Boo!). Which is sort of like the third Indiana Jones movie where everyone is kicking Nazi ass and grabbing treasures before Hitler gets his slimy paws on it.
I like cooperative mode because it lets me and my wife play against the board and work together. There are not many fun games on the market that can do that. The only downside is that when it is the bad guys' turn, you have to go through a five step procedure to do their turn. I am sure that I will get the hang of it eventually but it was quite cumbersome the first time around. On the other hand, the villain turn requires random rolls to determine their actions, making it completely impartial which is perfect for a cooperative game.
My wife and I lost our first game this weekend but we had a lot of fun playing it. When you attempt to get a treasure, you have to complete challenges drawn from a deck. The challenge will say something like this.
"Your plane engine suddenly stops working! Someone has sabotaged you! Roll blah blah to fix the engine!"
Now if you do the roll, then you get Glory and everything is peachy. If you fail, then you flip the card over and must do the Cliffhanger. The Cliffhanger is a hard dice roll that you need to make or end up knocked out and sent back to your home city. The thing is, you aren't allowed to resolve the Cliffhanger UNTIL YOUR NEXT TURN. Which means in true cliffhanger spirit, you are left staring at the terrible fate awaiting you while everyone else does their turn. Delicious.
My Russian Mad Scientist character was in a plane crash, fell down a mountain and navigated a terrible ancient labyrinth in my quest for the Helmet of Atlantis while an evil Nazi vixen was chasing me and trying to get the Helmet for her diabolical Fuhrer. That was ONE adventure that I had in this game out of several. Pretty damn neat.
Essentially this game is always about pushing your luck. There is always a safer, slower way to do things but you are always racing against someone for that treasure. Going slow lets you heal and recover between challenges but when a Nazi goon is one step away from the treasure, sometimes you can't stand to stop and rest. It is certainly a game for thrill seekers and risk takers.
So is it worth 100$? It depends on the players. If you like working together, then you will like it. If you like screwing each other over, this game can accommodate you too. If you love pulp cliffhangers with lost temples and terrible villains, you are going to want this game. If you can handle the ups and downs of glorious fortune and cruel twists of fate, then you will love this game.
(On a completely different angle - after playing this game, I called my wife's breasts "Fortune and Glory" and she didn't mind a bit. That is a good game if you ask me.)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Fiction: Voyage Between the Thighs
Dr. Veronica Passik was naked on the examination table. Comfortable stirrups held her ankles and parted her legs. Across from her was a bullet shaped vehicle the size of a small bus. A small chute only an inch wide led from the vehicle to between her legs. A look of concern was on her face.
“Is this safe, Dr. Von Madd?” she asked.
“Of course it is,” Dr. Otto Von Madd said. “I am the world’s greatest expert on erotic sciences. I will personally be piloting the Maddillus V 2.0 into your vagina. After it has been shrunk of course.”
Veronica bit her lip. “I don’t doubt your skill, Doctor, but are you sure the shrinking ray is safe?”
Dr. Von Madd took off his purple goggles. “Perfectly safe. It was designed by my great grand uncle, Albert Von Madd, back in 1911. The principles are still the same although it was very difficult to find the irradiated tobacco that powers the device. Back then in Albert’s time, radioactive tobacco was thought to promote virility and was much more common. I had to grow an entire crop just for today’s adventure.”
Veronica stared at the giant vehicle aimed at her crotch. “Maybe this is an extreme measure to go to for an orgasm.”
Dr. Von Madd snorted. “Nonsense. It is a crime for any woman to have reached their mid twenties without an orgasm, much less a perfectly smart lubricant chemist such as yourself. Once I discovered that you have never experienced sexual satisfaction, I made getting you off my personal mission.”
“And I appreciate that, sir,” Veronica said. “But after trying your full line of vibrators, seven sex robots, thirty interns of male and female genders as well as the Von Madd Scientist Dating site, what makes you think that this will work?”
Dr. Von Madd smiled. “This time, it will be me inside you.”
The door to the Maddillus opened and a short Asian girl stepped out of it. She was completely naked.
“We’re ready for launch, Dr!” the girl said.
“Thank you, Dr. Dazai,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I will be there in a moment. Any last questions, Dr. Passik?”
“Just two,” Veronica said. “Why is she in there?”
“Dr. Dazai is a brilliant engineer in the field of experimental sex toys,” Dr. Von Madd said. “She is one of the few people who understand every piece of equipment on the Maddillus.”
“Okay, but why is Dr. Dazai naked?”
Dr. Von Madd paused in the unzipping of his pants. “In case of a structural collapse in which we are forced out of the wreckage of the Maddillus and into your biology, I thought it safer to be in as natural state as possible. That way if we die inside you vagina, you just need to expel biological material and not worry about foreign synthetics”
“Not because she is terribly cute with her small breasts?” Veronica asked.
“That is a fortunate side effect of my precaution,” Dr. Von Madd said.
~~~~
“Seal hatches!”
“Hatches sealed!”
“Prepare Lubricating Shields!”
“Lubricating shields activated!”
“Engage Vibration Engines!”
“Vibration Engines One, Two and Three are activated!”
“Activate Shrink Ray!”
“Shrink Ray On!”
“Firing Shrinking Ray!”
“Hold on tight! Preferably to my cock!”
Dr. Kimi Dazai felt the terrific pull of gravity as the Maddillus V 2.0 sped down the chute. Thanks to the vibrational engines, it was a bumpy ride. Dr. Passik’s sex was in the distance but they were approaching it with terrifying speeds.
She looked at Dr. Von Madd. She realized that this was the first time she had really seen him without his goggles. She never noticed how focused he was before. He was a man that was all science. Well, sexy science.
Kimi took his earlier advice and reached for his cock. He was hard and warm in her hand. Dr. Von Madd reached for her thigh. His fingers gripped her tightly as the gigantic vagina of Dr. Passik loomed before them.
“Penetration in three . . . two . . . one . . .”
The Maddillus entered Dr. Passik. Half of the vessel submerged into her sex and the vibration engines completed the insertion. The monitors showed that the Maddillus was completely inside Dr. Passik’s sex.
“Now, we can get to work,” Dr. Von Madd said. Kimi tried not to pout when he moved his hand from her thigh. “We have already tested vibrators on her, so I think it is time we test different levels of girth.”
“Shall I turn on the expanders?” Kimi asked.
“Yes, Dr. Dazai,” he said. “Start with a two inch diameter.”
Kimi reluctantly let go of his cock and used both hands for the force field generators. Using the sliding control, Kimi slowly projected high powered fields around the Maddillus. With careful precision, she expanded the fields to simulate a two inch diameter cock.
The Maddillus shook. “Nothing to worry about,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I believe that was just her vaginal walls clenching.”
The Maddillus shook again. This time there was a more powerful shift that lifted the Maddillus and then dropped it down.
“Yes, definitely a clench and possibly a hump,” Dr. Von Madd said. “How are the lubrication levels?”
“They are rising, Dr. Von Madd,” Kimi said.
“Excellent, begin thrust motion maneuver delta.”
Kimi keyed in the commands. The Maddillus rocked back and forth on the preset motions. Up, up, down, down, to the left and to the right before repeating itself.
The Maddillus shook as the walls clenched down tighter around them. Red lights flickered as the force fields were pushed to their tolerance levels. Kimi diverted power from the rotational motors and the texture adjustors. The force fields glowed green as they stabilized.
“I am detecting vigorous hip shifting,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I think she likes this movement.”
“How did you know that would respond to this one so well?” Kimi asked.
Dr. Von Madd looked at her. His intense eyes focused on her and she was in danger of making her seat very damp.
“The way she walked,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Her placement of thighs, shifting of weight and sway of her hips told me everything I needed to know. She walked like someone who would enjoy thrust maneuver delta.”
“I think I am enjoying it myself,” Kimi said.
Dr. Von Madd reached between her thighs. A finger slipped into her sex. Kimi’s eyes shut and she forgot all about the force fields.
“Oh yes,” Dr. Von Madd said. “It looks like you are.”
The Maddillus shook violently. Stress alarms flared. Worse, Doctor Von Madd pulled his finger out of her.
“What is going on?” Kimi yelled. “I am detecting non stop movement and severe vaginal wall force!”
“I believe she is near orgasm but is she getting frustrated at not reaching completion!” Dr. Von Madd said. “The scans of her clitoris are showing frantic finger stimulation. She’s trying to aid in her orgasm1”
“The force fields can’t sustain this much clenching!” Kimi yelled. “If she doesn’t climax soon, we’ll be crushed by her mounting frustration!”
Dr. Von Madd put the finger that was in Kimi into his mouth. He sucked her juices idly as he thought.
“Hmm, I speculate that her own anxiety about climaxing might be hindering her ability to climax. We are going to have to stimulate her in a way that goes right to her libido. I am preparing the sonic cannon.”
“Are you sure, Doctor?” Kimi asked. “You said vibrations haven’t worked on her before.”
“Sometimes you just have to try everything all at once,” Dr. Von Madd said. He typed a sequence of bursts. “I am aiming for her g-spot. I was hoping to reach it physically with the Maddillus but we’re out of time. If she gets too frustrated, she’ll quit and lose the mood. Hold on tight!”
Kimi grabbed his cock. The mad scientist didn’t object. If anything, his cock pulsed in her hand.
“Firing cannon!” Dr. Von Madd said.
The Maddillus hummed as the sonic cannon fired. The vessel stopped shaking as Dr. Passik’s body froze in motion. Dr. Von Madd’s cock throbbed between Kimi’s fingers.
They heard the rumble right before something slammed into the front of the Maddillus. Kimi cried out as the Maddillus was violently pushed backwards. A second later, she saw the rapidly diminishing sight of Dr. Passik’s sex as they were expelled in a flood of fluid.
Then the Maddillus began to fall. It fell down to the laboratory floor below Dr. Passik and from Kimi’s point of view, it was several miles down. The vessel spun as it plummeted to the hard unforgiving ground below.
She held on for dear life to Dr. Von Madd’s cock.
Dr. Von Madd leaned back in his seat and pressed a purple button. Giant balloons emerged from the sides of the Maddillus and wrapped around it like a protective shell.
They hit the ground and bounced.
They bounced a second and third time before coming to a rest.
“Oh my god,” Kimi said as they came to a stop. Her heart was pounding. All she could think of was the sight of the floor as they approached it.
“Good thing I installed this precaution,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Since Dr. Passik had never climaxed, I wanted to be prepared in case she was a squirter.”
“Oh my god,” Kimi said again.
“Or course, now we are a white bubble on a white lab floor,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I turned on the distress beacon, but it might take the staff an hour to find us because they will take precautions not to step on us.”
“Oh my fucking god!” Kimi said.
“Dr. Dazai, you appear to be in shock. I recommend that you mount me.”
“Oh my fucking holy shit!” Kimi said. She wasn’t capable of saying anything more coherent. The young engineer was able to get out of her seat and climb on top of Dr. Von Madd’s lap. She didn’t need to say anything as she slid down his cock and settled on top of him.
“I think thrust maneuver gamma would be best,” Dr. Von Madd said. He shifted under her with a tenderness that she found surprising. The sensation in her sex was even more surprising.
Dr. Kimi Dazai climaxed thirty seconds later.
“Is this safe, Dr. Von Madd?” she asked.
“Of course it is,” Dr. Otto Von Madd said. “I am the world’s greatest expert on erotic sciences. I will personally be piloting the Maddillus V 2.0 into your vagina. After it has been shrunk of course.”
Veronica bit her lip. “I don’t doubt your skill, Doctor, but are you sure the shrinking ray is safe?”
Dr. Von Madd took off his purple goggles. “Perfectly safe. It was designed by my great grand uncle, Albert Von Madd, back in 1911. The principles are still the same although it was very difficult to find the irradiated tobacco that powers the device. Back then in Albert’s time, radioactive tobacco was thought to promote virility and was much more common. I had to grow an entire crop just for today’s adventure.”
Veronica stared at the giant vehicle aimed at her crotch. “Maybe this is an extreme measure to go to for an orgasm.”
Dr. Von Madd snorted. “Nonsense. It is a crime for any woman to have reached their mid twenties without an orgasm, much less a perfectly smart lubricant chemist such as yourself. Once I discovered that you have never experienced sexual satisfaction, I made getting you off my personal mission.”
“And I appreciate that, sir,” Veronica said. “But after trying your full line of vibrators, seven sex robots, thirty interns of male and female genders as well as the Von Madd Scientist Dating site, what makes you think that this will work?”
Dr. Von Madd smiled. “This time, it will be me inside you.”
The door to the Maddillus opened and a short Asian girl stepped out of it. She was completely naked.
“We’re ready for launch, Dr!” the girl said.
“Thank you, Dr. Dazai,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I will be there in a moment. Any last questions, Dr. Passik?”
“Just two,” Veronica said. “Why is she in there?”
“Dr. Dazai is a brilliant engineer in the field of experimental sex toys,” Dr. Von Madd said. “She is one of the few people who understand every piece of equipment on the Maddillus.”
“Okay, but why is Dr. Dazai naked?”
Dr. Von Madd paused in the unzipping of his pants. “In case of a structural collapse in which we are forced out of the wreckage of the Maddillus and into your biology, I thought it safer to be in as natural state as possible. That way if we die inside you vagina, you just need to expel biological material and not worry about foreign synthetics”
“Not because she is terribly cute with her small breasts?” Veronica asked.
“That is a fortunate side effect of my precaution,” Dr. Von Madd said.
~~~~
“Seal hatches!”
“Hatches sealed!”
“Prepare Lubricating Shields!”
“Lubricating shields activated!”
“Engage Vibration Engines!”
“Vibration Engines One, Two and Three are activated!”
“Activate Shrink Ray!”
“Shrink Ray On!”
“Firing Shrinking Ray!”
“Hold on tight! Preferably to my cock!”
Dr. Kimi Dazai felt the terrific pull of gravity as the Maddillus V 2.0 sped down the chute. Thanks to the vibrational engines, it was a bumpy ride. Dr. Passik’s sex was in the distance but they were approaching it with terrifying speeds.
She looked at Dr. Von Madd. She realized that this was the first time she had really seen him without his goggles. She never noticed how focused he was before. He was a man that was all science. Well, sexy science.
Kimi took his earlier advice and reached for his cock. He was hard and warm in her hand. Dr. Von Madd reached for her thigh. His fingers gripped her tightly as the gigantic vagina of Dr. Passik loomed before them.
“Penetration in three . . . two . . . one . . .”
The Maddillus entered Dr. Passik. Half of the vessel submerged into her sex and the vibration engines completed the insertion. The monitors showed that the Maddillus was completely inside Dr. Passik’s sex.
“Now, we can get to work,” Dr. Von Madd said. Kimi tried not to pout when he moved his hand from her thigh. “We have already tested vibrators on her, so I think it is time we test different levels of girth.”
“Shall I turn on the expanders?” Kimi asked.
“Yes, Dr. Dazai,” he said. “Start with a two inch diameter.”
Kimi reluctantly let go of his cock and used both hands for the force field generators. Using the sliding control, Kimi slowly projected high powered fields around the Maddillus. With careful precision, she expanded the fields to simulate a two inch diameter cock.
The Maddillus shook. “Nothing to worry about,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I believe that was just her vaginal walls clenching.”
The Maddillus shook again. This time there was a more powerful shift that lifted the Maddillus and then dropped it down.
“Yes, definitely a clench and possibly a hump,” Dr. Von Madd said. “How are the lubrication levels?”
“They are rising, Dr. Von Madd,” Kimi said.
“Excellent, begin thrust motion maneuver delta.”
Kimi keyed in the commands. The Maddillus rocked back and forth on the preset motions. Up, up, down, down, to the left and to the right before repeating itself.
The Maddillus shook as the walls clenched down tighter around them. Red lights flickered as the force fields were pushed to their tolerance levels. Kimi diverted power from the rotational motors and the texture adjustors. The force fields glowed green as they stabilized.
“I am detecting vigorous hip shifting,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I think she likes this movement.”
“How did you know that would respond to this one so well?” Kimi asked.
Dr. Von Madd looked at her. His intense eyes focused on her and she was in danger of making her seat very damp.
“The way she walked,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Her placement of thighs, shifting of weight and sway of her hips told me everything I needed to know. She walked like someone who would enjoy thrust maneuver delta.”
“I think I am enjoying it myself,” Kimi said.
Dr. Von Madd reached between her thighs. A finger slipped into her sex. Kimi’s eyes shut and she forgot all about the force fields.
“Oh yes,” Dr. Von Madd said. “It looks like you are.”
The Maddillus shook violently. Stress alarms flared. Worse, Doctor Von Madd pulled his finger out of her.
“What is going on?” Kimi yelled. “I am detecting non stop movement and severe vaginal wall force!”
“I believe she is near orgasm but is she getting frustrated at not reaching completion!” Dr. Von Madd said. “The scans of her clitoris are showing frantic finger stimulation. She’s trying to aid in her orgasm1”
“The force fields can’t sustain this much clenching!” Kimi yelled. “If she doesn’t climax soon, we’ll be crushed by her mounting frustration!”
Dr. Von Madd put the finger that was in Kimi into his mouth. He sucked her juices idly as he thought.
“Hmm, I speculate that her own anxiety about climaxing might be hindering her ability to climax. We are going to have to stimulate her in a way that goes right to her libido. I am preparing the sonic cannon.”
“Are you sure, Doctor?” Kimi asked. “You said vibrations haven’t worked on her before.”
“Sometimes you just have to try everything all at once,” Dr. Von Madd said. He typed a sequence of bursts. “I am aiming for her g-spot. I was hoping to reach it physically with the Maddillus but we’re out of time. If she gets too frustrated, she’ll quit and lose the mood. Hold on tight!”
Kimi grabbed his cock. The mad scientist didn’t object. If anything, his cock pulsed in her hand.
“Firing cannon!” Dr. Von Madd said.
The Maddillus hummed as the sonic cannon fired. The vessel stopped shaking as Dr. Passik’s body froze in motion. Dr. Von Madd’s cock throbbed between Kimi’s fingers.
They heard the rumble right before something slammed into the front of the Maddillus. Kimi cried out as the Maddillus was violently pushed backwards. A second later, she saw the rapidly diminishing sight of Dr. Passik’s sex as they were expelled in a flood of fluid.
Then the Maddillus began to fall. It fell down to the laboratory floor below Dr. Passik and from Kimi’s point of view, it was several miles down. The vessel spun as it plummeted to the hard unforgiving ground below.
She held on for dear life to Dr. Von Madd’s cock.
Dr. Von Madd leaned back in his seat and pressed a purple button. Giant balloons emerged from the sides of the Maddillus and wrapped around it like a protective shell.
They hit the ground and bounced.
They bounced a second and third time before coming to a rest.
“Oh my god,” Kimi said as they came to a stop. Her heart was pounding. All she could think of was the sight of the floor as they approached it.
“Good thing I installed this precaution,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Since Dr. Passik had never climaxed, I wanted to be prepared in case she was a squirter.”
“Oh my god,” Kimi said again.
“Or course, now we are a white bubble on a white lab floor,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I turned on the distress beacon, but it might take the staff an hour to find us because they will take precautions not to step on us.”
“Oh my fucking god!” Kimi said.
“Dr. Dazai, you appear to be in shock. I recommend that you mount me.”
“Oh my fucking holy shit!” Kimi said. She wasn’t capable of saying anything more coherent. The young engineer was able to get out of her seat and climb on top of Dr. Von Madd’s lap. She didn’t need to say anything as she slid down his cock and settled on top of him.
“I think thrust maneuver gamma would be best,” Dr. Von Madd said. He shifted under her with a tenderness that she found surprising. The sensation in her sex was even more surprising.
Dr. Kimi Dazai climaxed thirty seconds later.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Father Qang
The early history of Euphoria was a time of chaos and instant gratification. Most Euphorians were content to molest each other and indulge their own appetites to the point that technology barely reached crude metal making. The world was broken up into small country-states, each ruled by one of the Seven Lords and Ladies of Pleasure. The Lords and Ladies never worked together and in fact wasted precious resources by battling each other.
This pitiful state of affairs continued until the appearance of the famed bandit, Qang. At first Qang was content to attack and raid the properties of the Seven Lords and Ladies but soon his great ambition pressed him for more. He understood that the people of Euphoria were happy to fuck and die for themselves because they never had anything higher to aspire to. Qang decided to give them a reason to live outside of their own desires. He would lead them to fight and die for his desires.
Qang raised a great army and over a bloody period of twenty years, he conquered all of the Lords and Ladies of Pleasure. He appealed to the greed of the Euphorians by offering them great treasures that the Lords and Ladies had locked away for themselves. He impressed the masses with his public molestations of the Lords and Ladies and he won the adoration of the masses with his creative executions of all who opposed him. He was a man of the people, taking into account that the average Euphorian is a bloodthirsty pervert.
With the bones of Lords and Ladies of Pleasure, Qang created the Skull Throne. Qang declared himself King and guided his people to a new age of prosperity. Under his guidance, he founded the Great Library of Deviance, dedicated to discovering new joys for the people of Euphoria. He founded the War Academy, where the greatest brutes and sadists could perfect their craft in his armies. He created the Order of Science, where the best and the brightest were given riches and bed slaves for their scientific achievements.
King Qang ruled for fifty years before he died of natural causes. His heart stopped when his daughter, Upata, fired an arrow into his chest. Queen Upata had her father buried with great honors and declared a week of abstinence as the planet mourned.
During this week of abstinence, many visions were reported by the population. Prophets came forth and declared that they had seen King Qang enter the Underworld where the Gods of Night fuck and eat the spirits of the deceased. Instead of being eaten, King Qang had organized a resistance and overthrew the Gods of Night. Now the Gods of Night exist as servants to Qang who rules the Underworld as an extension of the Skull Throne. He lost his title of King but is now known as Father Qang. He now judges the souls of those who die and rewards the wicked and loyal and punishes the docile and traitorous.
Queen Upata honored these great prophets with a personal orgy that lasted an entire month. She dismissed the temples of the Gods of Night and had them replaced with states of Father Qang. People are free to worship whomever they please as Queen Upata was a merciful Queen. They just shouldn’t expect the same mercy from Father Qang.
The Arch-Heretic, Tesi, argued that the visions of the prophets were just a result of hallucinations brought upon by the forced week of abstinence. Tesi also argues that the month long orgy was the final bribe paid by Queen Upata to ensure that her father would replace the planet’s religion. Tesi was punished by King Fong with an amazingly creative and debasing ordeal that was immortalized in a series of holomovies and books known as ‘The Story of T’.
Curiously, the heresy never caught on with the general populace. A survey conducted by the Order of Science determined that the average Euphorian believed that if Queen Upata engineered a massive religious hoax to seize spiritual power, then it was only more proof about how worthy she was in holding the Skull Throne.
--Euphorian Gazetteer
This pitiful state of affairs continued until the appearance of the famed bandit, Qang. At first Qang was content to attack and raid the properties of the Seven Lords and Ladies but soon his great ambition pressed him for more. He understood that the people of Euphoria were happy to fuck and die for themselves because they never had anything higher to aspire to. Qang decided to give them a reason to live outside of their own desires. He would lead them to fight and die for his desires.
Qang raised a great army and over a bloody period of twenty years, he conquered all of the Lords and Ladies of Pleasure. He appealed to the greed of the Euphorians by offering them great treasures that the Lords and Ladies had locked away for themselves. He impressed the masses with his public molestations of the Lords and Ladies and he won the adoration of the masses with his creative executions of all who opposed him. He was a man of the people, taking into account that the average Euphorian is a bloodthirsty pervert.
With the bones of Lords and Ladies of Pleasure, Qang created the Skull Throne. Qang declared himself King and guided his people to a new age of prosperity. Under his guidance, he founded the Great Library of Deviance, dedicated to discovering new joys for the people of Euphoria. He founded the War Academy, where the greatest brutes and sadists could perfect their craft in his armies. He created the Order of Science, where the best and the brightest were given riches and bed slaves for their scientific achievements.
King Qang ruled for fifty years before he died of natural causes. His heart stopped when his daughter, Upata, fired an arrow into his chest. Queen Upata had her father buried with great honors and declared a week of abstinence as the planet mourned.
During this week of abstinence, many visions were reported by the population. Prophets came forth and declared that they had seen King Qang enter the Underworld where the Gods of Night fuck and eat the spirits of the deceased. Instead of being eaten, King Qang had organized a resistance and overthrew the Gods of Night. Now the Gods of Night exist as servants to Qang who rules the Underworld as an extension of the Skull Throne. He lost his title of King but is now known as Father Qang. He now judges the souls of those who die and rewards the wicked and loyal and punishes the docile and traitorous.
Queen Upata honored these great prophets with a personal orgy that lasted an entire month. She dismissed the temples of the Gods of Night and had them replaced with states of Father Qang. People are free to worship whomever they please as Queen Upata was a merciful Queen. They just shouldn’t expect the same mercy from Father Qang.
The Arch-Heretic, Tesi, argued that the visions of the prophets were just a result of hallucinations brought upon by the forced week of abstinence. Tesi also argues that the month long orgy was the final bribe paid by Queen Upata to ensure that her father would replace the planet’s religion. Tesi was punished by King Fong with an amazingly creative and debasing ordeal that was immortalized in a series of holomovies and books known as ‘The Story of T’.
Curiously, the heresy never caught on with the general populace. A survey conducted by the Order of Science determined that the average Euphorian believed that if Queen Upata engineered a massive religious hoax to seize spiritual power, then it was only more proof about how worthy she was in holding the Skull Throne.
--Euphorian Gazetteer
Friday, November 25, 2011
Black Friday Sale of My Books
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that Black Friday was not a celebration of African-American porn. Apparently it has to do with shopping and sales. I would much prefer brown tits and a lovely brown ass but oh well.Lucky for you, Lulu has decided to have a sale too and now you can buy any of my books at 25% off the cover price. Fear not, Lulu takes the hit and my profits are untouched. I will take my profits and reinvest that money in more racially diverse erotica. It is a win/win!
Just buy any number of my book and when you get to the coupon code section, type in
BUYMYBOOK305
The coupon expires December 14, 2011 and will only count up to $50 maximum savings.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Fiction: First Impact
Explorer’s Log: I am about to land on the 2nd planet orbiting the star designed, Queen’s Lack of Mercy, by Royal Astronomers. I have detected signs of humanoid life near the equator of this jungle planet. There is no sign of technology but I have found various settlements. I will land away from a village and approach on foot to determine their suitability for slavery to the Queen.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck yes! I have finally found a primitive world! The Deep Space Probe laws allow me to enjoy up to seven days of gluttonous pleasure as I establish myself as a space goddess to these evolutionary starter students. This was one of the main reasons I even signed up for this mission. Seven days of initiating naive natives in the myriad sexual practices of getting me off will make up for the long lonely journey here.
Vaquel Di picked her way through the jungle. Steam rose from the floor as the bright sun above vaporized the morning moisture of the jungle. Lucky for Vaquel, her red skintight spacesuit that clung to every curve and cleft of her body regulated her internal temperature and protected her from the intense heat. Advances in glassteel technology prevented her bubble helmet from fogging over which meant that any primitive looking at her could see her pretty brown face topped by the short pink bangs that she had cultivated for this encounter. If the primitives of this world were going to make stone sculptures of her and paint cave drawings, she wanted to look her best.
The holographic display inside her helmet alerted her to the presence of an incoming humanoid lifeform. It was moving pretty fast and at a damn good pace through this thick jungle. Vaquel took out her plasma pistol in case the natives needed convincing of her superiority.
The humanoid came running out of the bush. He was as green as the jungle he emerged from. He was also butt-naked. He came to a stumbling halt when he saw Vaquel and his mouth opened in surprise. Eyes as red as rubies stared at her in incomprehensible shock.
Vaquel smirked. She said nothing and let him drink in the sight of her and her alien clothes. She did wonder why he was running through the jungle with no weapons of his own. Her smirk faded as she looked down his muscular body to the weapon he carried between his legs. His cock was massive, and bounced up and down with eager energy.
“Mok?” the green humanoid said.
“Vaquel,” she said. “Vaquel Di of the Royal Navy.” She knew that he didn’t understand her, but Royal Navy protocol required that she informed new slaves of their new masters.
“Mok?” the green humanoid said again.
Vaquel sighed. She was going to have to resort to basic pantomime for communication.
As she debated the proper way to convey that she was from the stars, the humanoid took a cautious step towards her. Vaquel kept her plasma pistol trained on him in case he needed melting. She also put her hand out to touch his, as most primitives like to be reassured that other people have hands too.
The humanoid’s hand ignored her hand and reached for her breast instead. His palm cupped her breast right where her nipple was pressing against the thin spacesuit. He smiled when his hand touched her stellar abundance.
“Mok,” he said again.
Vaquel debated fucking him before going to his village. The last good fuck she had was from a micro-nebula and the details of that weird experience were getting harder to recall every day. The way he was groping her breast had her convinced that they would have no trouble communicating about fucking.
The holographic display inside her helmet lit up with multiple scanner contacts. About thirty other humanoids were headed to Vaquel’s location. The deep space explorer looked at the humanoid in front of her and wondered if he somehow sent a signal that he had found her. Maybe the race didn’t need technology because they were psychic?
Vaquel pushed the guy’s hand away from her breast as more humanoids emerged from the jungle. The first thing Vaquel noticed was their size; these humanoids were easily eight feet tall if not taller. The second thing she noticed was that although they shared the same green skin and red eyes as her first contact, these humanoids were all female. The third thing she noticed is that they were all carrying weapons. Well, fuck.
“Greetings!” Vaquel yelled in a commanding tone. “I am Vaquel Di of the Royal Navy! I come from the stars to bless you all with my presence!”
Two seconds later, one of the green women threw her spear at Vaquel. Vaquel dodged to the side as the male beside her cowered into a ball. The spear impacted into a tree with such force that the tree cracked.
“You fucked up,” Vaquel said. She fired her plasma pistol at the woman who threw first. The woman’s head atomized in a super-heated flash of light. The other humanoids watched in stunned horror as the woman’s headless body crumpled into the mist of the jungle ground.
“Cag!” the women yelled together in response. They charged at Vaquel with their spears.
Vaquel reached for her utility belt and pulled out her vibration blade. A single click of a button and the blade was vibrating a thousand pulses per second. She brought the blade up just in time to slice the head off the point of a spear that was aimed for her chest, and then on the back swing, she severed the head of the woman wielding the spear.
As soon as the alien fell to the ground, two more took her place. Vaquel shot her plasma pistol at the chest of one woman and sank her vibration blade into the face of the second. She then had to dodge three spear thrusts from other attackers.
“You’re supposed to be worshiping me and my superior weapons!” Vaquel yelled in frustration.
They kept attacking. Vaquel kept killing. The odds were certainly against Vaquel as one giant woman after another tried to kill her. Better technology or not, no one can fight this many people without getting tired or injured. Fortunately for Vaquel, she had spent months of her space travel in the Exercise Pod trying to rig various vibrators to her exercise routine. All that sexual frustration was paying off as Vaquel dispatched one warrior woman after another.
Eventually there was no one left to kill. Vaquel stood in the jungle clearing, surrounded by corpses and dropped spears. Some of the aliens had run off but Vaquel didn’t have the energy to chase after them.
“Mok?” the male said. He was hiding behind a tree. When he saw that all of the women were dead, he ran forward and embraced Vaquel.
“Mok!” he said. He certainly seemed excited. Vaquel could feel his hard cock pressing against her thigh.
“At least I got something out of today,” Vaquel said. She put her vibration blade away and grabbed his cock. His manhood was almost pulsing more than her blade.
A strange cry came out of the forest. The sound caused the male to shake with fear. The holographic display in Vaquel’s helmet lit up with multiple life signs. The number of humanoids converging on their location was exceeding triple digits.
“Queen’s tits,” Vaquel swore. She had to get out of here. This planet wasn’t going to be pacified by one explorer. It was going to take a Warship and some orbital bombardments.
She squeezed the cock that was in her hand. Vaquel would be damned if she was leaving here empty handed.
Vaquel let go of his cock and grabbed the male’s wrist. “Come with me!”
She took off running. Like a good primitive alien, the male ran with her. At least one damn alien on this planet understood that she was in charge.
They reached the Deep Space Probe and the male hesitated at the strange sight before him. A slap on the ass later and he went into the small vessel. Vaquel spared a glance back at the jungle and saw that the scanner had detected over a thousand humanoid life signs heading her way.
“Fuckers hold a grudge,” Vaquel whispered. This was so going into her report. The Royal Navy might end up enlisting these bitches.
Vaquel climbed into her vessel and shut the door. The male was busy pondering the mysteries of a chair in the Nutrition Pod. She ignored him and went straight to navigation.
“MOK!” the male screamed as the ship took off into space. Other than that first primal scream of terror, he quieted down. Vaquel checked on him and he was busy trying to understand what the mirror was.
Vaquel took off her glassteel helmet and let out a sigh of annoyance. She was safely back in orbit, but she didn’t get the seven day orgy that she had been expecting. The exhaustion of the fight and the run was catching up to her. Damn it, she should be getting a massage from worshiping primitives!
Hands reached from behind her and cupped her breasts. The heavy cock pressed against the spacesuit covering her buttocks. Warm breath danced over her ears.
“Mok?” the male asked.
Vaquel turned around in his hands. She pressed a button on her collar and her spacesuit retracted from her body and into her boots. The male looked down at her brown breasts, her wide hips and the pink bush of hair between her thighs.
“I am going to call you, Mok,” Vaquel said. “And your first duty on board this ship is to fuck me, Mok!”
Mok might not have understood her language, but he knew what she wanted. He pushed her down to the floor of the Deep Space Probe and parted her thighs with exuberance. As he pressed the head of his cock against the lips of her sex, he noticed the jiggling of Vaquel’s breasts as she awaited penetration.
He forgot about her cunt and his mouth dived for her breasts. Vaquel cried out as his teeth sank into her tit. His hand cupped her other breast and squeezed with all the passion of a bed-slave on his first night. Vaquel squirmed as the green man went back and forth between her breasts, his mouth enjoying the taste of each brown tit.
Vaquel wanted more. She didn’t need foreplay. She needed to fuck. She reached between them and grabbed that impressive cock that she needed so badly.
Mok moaned and he lifted himself up on powerful arms. He looked like he was going to dive back down on her spit covered breasts but she tightened her grip on is cock. Slowly she guided him between her thighs and helped him take his rightful place.
He was her prize, damn it. He was hers to fuck and she wanted to fuck now.
“Yes!” Vaquel cried out as his girth slid inside her. After months of vibrators, plant dildoes, strange nebula lovers and her own hand, she was glad to finally have a real cock between her legs. She wrapped her legs tightly around him and knew she would never let him go.
Mok appeared happy too. He thrust inside her with a savage passion. There was no technique or skill; just the thrusting of an animal. He plunged his cock into her with perfect rhythm that needed no intelligence.
Vaquel shuddered and moaned. The floor was hard against her back but she didn’t care. It was a month’s journey to the next star system. There would be plenty of time to fuck in the bed, in the Hygenic Pod, in the Nutrition Pod and every other flat surface of the ship. As Mok pounded away at her cunt, Vaquel was more than happy to take it on the floor like some backwater primitive species.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried as she reached orgasm.
“Mok!” her green lover yelled as he kept fucking.
Vaquel had no intention of stopping him. She grabbed his chest hair and held onto him as he kept fucking. If she hurt him, it was hard to tell because he never stopped humping her.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out with her second orgasm.
Mok pulled out and Vaquel nearly ripped his chest hair out. Her anger subsided when he tried to roll her over. She happily got on her knees and lifted her ass to him. The green savage re-entered her from behind. He reached around and grabbed her tits as he fucked her. His cock rammed her twice as fast as before.
Vaquel clenched her eyes in bliss. Oh the things she would teach this man. She would teach him out to eat cunt. She would show him how to slow down and fuck her ass. She would show him the joys of getting a blowjob. By the time that they reached the next star system, Vaquel planned to have broken him in and trained in every sex act that she could think of.
Hell, if he was a good student, she might even keep him instead of dumping him off at the next planet.
Mok’s hands clenched her tits painfully hard. His thrusts had slowed down but his cock was ramming into her twice as hard. He was going to climax soon and Vaquel could feel cock throbbing with power.
“Come inside me!” Vaquel demanded. “Come inside your new mistress, Mok!”
“MOK!” he cried out. His whole body shook and Vaquel felt the surge of seed a second later. Hot liquid heat flooded her cunt and Vaquel climaxed for the third time. She came so hard that she couldn’t even articulate praise to the Queen for her orgasm.
Mok slid odd her body and onto the floor. He still hung on to one of her tits though, and Vaquel crumpled up beside him. It was an awkward position in the narrow area but she didn’t care. The exhausted explorer closed her eyes in orgasmic bliss.
When she woke up an hour later, Mok’s corpse was cold beside her.
Explorer’s Log: Further scans have shown that the male of this species can only orgasm once before fatal breakdowns occur in the circulation system. This certainly explains the hostility that I encountered with the female of the species. I was literally stealing the one fuck that they could get out of him.
I am not sure how a species like this survives in the long term, but for purposes of conquering, it makes our job easy. I suspect that a team of horny Royal Navy crewmen could win these women over to the service of Queen just by jacking off and not dying. I know after my brief encounter, I sure as fuck could go for a man who has more than one charge in his pistol.
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck yes! I have finally found a primitive world! The Deep Space Probe laws allow me to enjoy up to seven days of gluttonous pleasure as I establish myself as a space goddess to these evolutionary starter students. This was one of the main reasons I even signed up for this mission. Seven days of initiating naive natives in the myriad sexual practices of getting me off will make up for the long lonely journey here.
Vaquel Di picked her way through the jungle. Steam rose from the floor as the bright sun above vaporized the morning moisture of the jungle. Lucky for Vaquel, her red skintight spacesuit that clung to every curve and cleft of her body regulated her internal temperature and protected her from the intense heat. Advances in glassteel technology prevented her bubble helmet from fogging over which meant that any primitive looking at her could see her pretty brown face topped by the short pink bangs that she had cultivated for this encounter. If the primitives of this world were going to make stone sculptures of her and paint cave drawings, she wanted to look her best.
The holographic display inside her helmet alerted her to the presence of an incoming humanoid lifeform. It was moving pretty fast and at a damn good pace through this thick jungle. Vaquel took out her plasma pistol in case the natives needed convincing of her superiority.
The humanoid came running out of the bush. He was as green as the jungle he emerged from. He was also butt-naked. He came to a stumbling halt when he saw Vaquel and his mouth opened in surprise. Eyes as red as rubies stared at her in incomprehensible shock.
Vaquel smirked. She said nothing and let him drink in the sight of her and her alien clothes. She did wonder why he was running through the jungle with no weapons of his own. Her smirk faded as she looked down his muscular body to the weapon he carried between his legs. His cock was massive, and bounced up and down with eager energy.
“Mok?” the green humanoid said.
“Vaquel,” she said. “Vaquel Di of the Royal Navy.” She knew that he didn’t understand her, but Royal Navy protocol required that she informed new slaves of their new masters.
“Mok?” the green humanoid said again.
Vaquel sighed. She was going to have to resort to basic pantomime for communication.
As she debated the proper way to convey that she was from the stars, the humanoid took a cautious step towards her. Vaquel kept her plasma pistol trained on him in case he needed melting. She also put her hand out to touch his, as most primitives like to be reassured that other people have hands too.
The humanoid’s hand ignored her hand and reached for her breast instead. His palm cupped her breast right where her nipple was pressing against the thin spacesuit. He smiled when his hand touched her stellar abundance.
“Mok,” he said again.
Vaquel debated fucking him before going to his village. The last good fuck she had was from a micro-nebula and the details of that weird experience were getting harder to recall every day. The way he was groping her breast had her convinced that they would have no trouble communicating about fucking.
The holographic display inside her helmet lit up with multiple scanner contacts. About thirty other humanoids were headed to Vaquel’s location. The deep space explorer looked at the humanoid in front of her and wondered if he somehow sent a signal that he had found her. Maybe the race didn’t need technology because they were psychic?
Vaquel pushed the guy’s hand away from her breast as more humanoids emerged from the jungle. The first thing Vaquel noticed was their size; these humanoids were easily eight feet tall if not taller. The second thing she noticed was that although they shared the same green skin and red eyes as her first contact, these humanoids were all female. The third thing she noticed is that they were all carrying weapons. Well, fuck.
“Greetings!” Vaquel yelled in a commanding tone. “I am Vaquel Di of the Royal Navy! I come from the stars to bless you all with my presence!”
Two seconds later, one of the green women threw her spear at Vaquel. Vaquel dodged to the side as the male beside her cowered into a ball. The spear impacted into a tree with such force that the tree cracked.
“You fucked up,” Vaquel said. She fired her plasma pistol at the woman who threw first. The woman’s head atomized in a super-heated flash of light. The other humanoids watched in stunned horror as the woman’s headless body crumpled into the mist of the jungle ground.
“Cag!” the women yelled together in response. They charged at Vaquel with their spears.
Vaquel reached for her utility belt and pulled out her vibration blade. A single click of a button and the blade was vibrating a thousand pulses per second. She brought the blade up just in time to slice the head off the point of a spear that was aimed for her chest, and then on the back swing, she severed the head of the woman wielding the spear.
As soon as the alien fell to the ground, two more took her place. Vaquel shot her plasma pistol at the chest of one woman and sank her vibration blade into the face of the second. She then had to dodge three spear thrusts from other attackers.
“You’re supposed to be worshiping me and my superior weapons!” Vaquel yelled in frustration.
They kept attacking. Vaquel kept killing. The odds were certainly against Vaquel as one giant woman after another tried to kill her. Better technology or not, no one can fight this many people without getting tired or injured. Fortunately for Vaquel, she had spent months of her space travel in the Exercise Pod trying to rig various vibrators to her exercise routine. All that sexual frustration was paying off as Vaquel dispatched one warrior woman after another.
Eventually there was no one left to kill. Vaquel stood in the jungle clearing, surrounded by corpses and dropped spears. Some of the aliens had run off but Vaquel didn’t have the energy to chase after them.
“Mok?” the male said. He was hiding behind a tree. When he saw that all of the women were dead, he ran forward and embraced Vaquel.
“Mok!” he said. He certainly seemed excited. Vaquel could feel his hard cock pressing against her thigh.
“At least I got something out of today,” Vaquel said. She put her vibration blade away and grabbed his cock. His manhood was almost pulsing more than her blade.
A strange cry came out of the forest. The sound caused the male to shake with fear. The holographic display in Vaquel’s helmet lit up with multiple life signs. The number of humanoids converging on their location was exceeding triple digits.
“Queen’s tits,” Vaquel swore. She had to get out of here. This planet wasn’t going to be pacified by one explorer. It was going to take a Warship and some orbital bombardments.
She squeezed the cock that was in her hand. Vaquel would be damned if she was leaving here empty handed.
Vaquel let go of his cock and grabbed the male’s wrist. “Come with me!”
She took off running. Like a good primitive alien, the male ran with her. At least one damn alien on this planet understood that she was in charge.
They reached the Deep Space Probe and the male hesitated at the strange sight before him. A slap on the ass later and he went into the small vessel. Vaquel spared a glance back at the jungle and saw that the scanner had detected over a thousand humanoid life signs heading her way.
“Fuckers hold a grudge,” Vaquel whispered. This was so going into her report. The Royal Navy might end up enlisting these bitches.
Vaquel climbed into her vessel and shut the door. The male was busy pondering the mysteries of a chair in the Nutrition Pod. She ignored him and went straight to navigation.
“MOK!” the male screamed as the ship took off into space. Other than that first primal scream of terror, he quieted down. Vaquel checked on him and he was busy trying to understand what the mirror was.
Vaquel took off her glassteel helmet and let out a sigh of annoyance. She was safely back in orbit, but she didn’t get the seven day orgy that she had been expecting. The exhaustion of the fight and the run was catching up to her. Damn it, she should be getting a massage from worshiping primitives!
Hands reached from behind her and cupped her breasts. The heavy cock pressed against the spacesuit covering her buttocks. Warm breath danced over her ears.
“Mok?” the male asked.
Vaquel turned around in his hands. She pressed a button on her collar and her spacesuit retracted from her body and into her boots. The male looked down at her brown breasts, her wide hips and the pink bush of hair between her thighs.
“I am going to call you, Mok,” Vaquel said. “And your first duty on board this ship is to fuck me, Mok!”
Mok might not have understood her language, but he knew what she wanted. He pushed her down to the floor of the Deep Space Probe and parted her thighs with exuberance. As he pressed the head of his cock against the lips of her sex, he noticed the jiggling of Vaquel’s breasts as she awaited penetration.
He forgot about her cunt and his mouth dived for her breasts. Vaquel cried out as his teeth sank into her tit. His hand cupped her other breast and squeezed with all the passion of a bed-slave on his first night. Vaquel squirmed as the green man went back and forth between her breasts, his mouth enjoying the taste of each brown tit.
Vaquel wanted more. She didn’t need foreplay. She needed to fuck. She reached between them and grabbed that impressive cock that she needed so badly.
Mok moaned and he lifted himself up on powerful arms. He looked like he was going to dive back down on her spit covered breasts but she tightened her grip on is cock. Slowly she guided him between her thighs and helped him take his rightful place.
He was her prize, damn it. He was hers to fuck and she wanted to fuck now.
“Yes!” Vaquel cried out as his girth slid inside her. After months of vibrators, plant dildoes, strange nebula lovers and her own hand, she was glad to finally have a real cock between her legs. She wrapped her legs tightly around him and knew she would never let him go.
Mok appeared happy too. He thrust inside her with a savage passion. There was no technique or skill; just the thrusting of an animal. He plunged his cock into her with perfect rhythm that needed no intelligence.
Vaquel shuddered and moaned. The floor was hard against her back but she didn’t care. It was a month’s journey to the next star system. There would be plenty of time to fuck in the bed, in the Hygenic Pod, in the Nutrition Pod and every other flat surface of the ship. As Mok pounded away at her cunt, Vaquel was more than happy to take it on the floor like some backwater primitive species.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried as she reached orgasm.
“Mok!” her green lover yelled as he kept fucking.
Vaquel had no intention of stopping him. She grabbed his chest hair and held onto him as he kept fucking. If she hurt him, it was hard to tell because he never stopped humping her.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out with her second orgasm.
Mok pulled out and Vaquel nearly ripped his chest hair out. Her anger subsided when he tried to roll her over. She happily got on her knees and lifted her ass to him. The green savage re-entered her from behind. He reached around and grabbed her tits as he fucked her. His cock rammed her twice as fast as before.
Vaquel clenched her eyes in bliss. Oh the things she would teach this man. She would teach him out to eat cunt. She would show him how to slow down and fuck her ass. She would show him the joys of getting a blowjob. By the time that they reached the next star system, Vaquel planned to have broken him in and trained in every sex act that she could think of.
Hell, if he was a good student, she might even keep him instead of dumping him off at the next planet.
Mok’s hands clenched her tits painfully hard. His thrusts had slowed down but his cock was ramming into her twice as hard. He was going to climax soon and Vaquel could feel cock throbbing with power.
“Come inside me!” Vaquel demanded. “Come inside your new mistress, Mok!”
“MOK!” he cried out. His whole body shook and Vaquel felt the surge of seed a second later. Hot liquid heat flooded her cunt and Vaquel climaxed for the third time. She came so hard that she couldn’t even articulate praise to the Queen for her orgasm.
Mok slid odd her body and onto the floor. He still hung on to one of her tits though, and Vaquel crumpled up beside him. It was an awkward position in the narrow area but she didn’t care. The exhausted explorer closed her eyes in orgasmic bliss.
When she woke up an hour later, Mok’s corpse was cold beside her.
Explorer’s Log: Further scans have shown that the male of this species can only orgasm once before fatal breakdowns occur in the circulation system. This certainly explains the hostility that I encountered with the female of the species. I was literally stealing the one fuck that they could get out of him.
I am not sure how a species like this survives in the long term, but for purposes of conquering, it makes our job easy. I suspect that a team of horny Royal Navy crewmen could win these women over to the service of Queen just by jacking off and not dying. I know after my brief encounter, I sure as fuck could go for a man who has more than one charge in his pistol.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Death of the MoneyBuddy Donate Button
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Dirty Books: Death is a Ruby Light
"Death is a Ruby Light" by Paul Kenyon is book three of the Baroness series. Written in 1974, this spy book stars Penelope Worthington, a secret agent that is called upon by the United States when shit hits the fan. The fan in this story is that the Russians are sabotaging spy satellites and U.S. agents are dying. After breaking into the center of the Russian Space Program, Penelope discovers that hey, the Russians are having their satellites messed with too. The United States and the Russians team up to take on those crazy backwards upstarts, the Chinese.Mixed in with this spy story of rival agencies and early 70's space programs is a shit load of fucking and killing. The book opens with Penelope enjoying a torrid affair when assassins interrupt their frequent sex. A hurricane of bullets, threats of molestation and karate moves later, and Penelope and her team of sexy men and women, engage in more combat and sex. I greatly approve.
I reviewed another retro spy book, Lady from L.U.S.T. and I made the comment that the titillation was almost cute. I am sure it was racy for its time but now it was mostly one long book of foreplay. 'Death is a Ruby Light' is the polar opposite. They don't talk about sex in this book, they fuck. They don't breeze over the action scenes, here they they shoot and kill. I am used to reading action books from this time period so I was used to the violence but it was refreshing to see that same explicit approach to the sex.
It can take a little getting used to. It is rare to see a women enjoy a nice long fuck scene and then later get electrocuted through her nipples in a very non-sexy interrogation. At one point the main character gets raped when she was unconscious and the rape happens off screen, but it was pretty shocking. The body count gets pretty high and pretty ugly.
That is probably why I enjoyed the book as much as I did. I enjoy spy books soaking in hyper-realism but failing that, I want a spy book that is insane and pure escapism. This book is certainly that. Any book that straps the heroine so she is sitting on a death laser so it will fire through her vagina and out her head, is a winner in my library.
Also unlike 'Lay Me Odds', the plot in this book is really good. The credit goes to the pacing which is just perfect for a book this size. It opens with a sex scene to introduce Penelope, but before the assassins appear, we cut to another chapter where we watch a handful of other agents get killed because they have been compromised. It was really effective at preparing the reader for understanding how fucked Penelope was about to be, as well as creating a delay for the reader who really wants to get back to her and see how she survives. Such manipulation of the reader is essential for this genre and I was greatly impressed.
I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers
Saturday, November 12, 2011
GOAL REACHED!!!!!
HOLY SHIT!
Thanks to generous donations, we have easily reached our goal of 50$ I am stunned, humbled and actually need to return some money because we went over.
HOLY SHIT!!!
I love you guys. Thank you for pitching in. It means the world to me.
Thanks to generous donations, we have easily reached our goal of 50$ I am stunned, humbled and actually need to return some money because we went over.
HOLY SHIT!!!
I love you guys. Thank you for pitching in. It means the world to me.
Friday, November 11, 2011
The Farmer's Daughter Needs Your Cash
A terrifically talented artists has offered to do interior illustrations for the Farmer's Daughter's Almanac at the amazingly generous price of 50$. Due to fabulous over spending at Disney, this is currently outside my meager budget. Considering that the Farmer's Daughter's Almanac will be free as a PDF and will be sold only at cost, the art budget already was at a rather small amount, like zero.
GOAL REACHED!!!!! STOP DONATING!!!!!
Note, if I do not reach the 50$ amount, I will refund everyone's money. If I come close to the 50$ amount, my own excitement will pitch in and I will pay the difference.
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Fiction: The Breastinomicon Conclusion
“I thought you said that Professor Ulrich’s was on a modest academic salary,” Claire Currie said.
Mr. Dillon looked around the antechamber that the maid had brought them to. A large wooden table dominated a room decorated with expensive paintings, a few leather chairs and a chandelier that may have been crafted in another century.
“I know, Ms. Currie,” Mr. Dillon said. “The obvious poverty almost wrenches the heart.”
The doors to the hallway opened and the maid came back in. Behind her were a Hispanic man and woman. Mr. Dillon growled and Claire felt the hairs on her neck stand up.
“The Professor will see both of you shortly,” the maid said as she left the room.
“Sonia Garcia,” Mr. Dillon said. His voice was neutral and devoid of emotion. “Chief Procurer for the Vargas Foundation.”
The woman smiled. She was bearing more cleavage than Claire thought was structurally possible for a blouse. Thick black hair was held back by a silver headband. As Claire studied her, she noticed that the woman’s smile never reached her cold eyes.
“Oliver Dillon, head librarian for that antique collection of trivial smut called the Collette-Ashbee Collection,” Sonia said.
Mr. Dillon turned to Claire. “You may not have heard of the Vargas Foundation as they were only founded within the last fifty years. Their mission is to collect erotic books, films, magazines, and novelty items of an erotic nature.”
Sonia frowned. “What Oliver meant to say was that unlike the non-discriminating Ashbee-Collette collection which buys every single book every written no matter how shitty it is, the Vargas Foundation only adds the most prestigious and highest quality works to their collection for the future enrichment of mankind.”
“Oh yes,” Mr. Dillon said. “I forgot that the Vargas Foundation with their mere decades of existence have already decided which works of erotica will merit study in the future. I don’t knob why I keep forgetting about their clairvoyant approach to erotica.”
“This is my assistant, Manuel Ortez,” Sonia said as if she didn’t hear Mr. Dillon. “He is a superb researcher and although at least half your age, Oliver, he already posses a knack for identifying forgeries that is uncanny.”
The young man nodded towards Mr. Dillon and Claire. “Pleased to meet you,” he said in accented English.
“This is my assistant, Claire Currie,” Mr. Dillon said. “Despite her tendency to confuse the names of Italian authors, she has a slightly better than average skill when it comes to spine damage analysis.”
Sonia was silent for a moment as she tried to understand if Mr. Dillon was insulting his own assistant or wildly praising her skills. Claire knew him well enough to know that it was the latter.
“It is nice to make your acquaintance, Ms. Garcia,” Claire said. She offered her hand to Sonia. The woman did not take it. Claire put her hand down and decided that she would hate this bitch too.
“Ah, you have an assistant from Britain?” Sonia said. “Her accent will give your library the appearance of intelligence that has been lacking.”
“I was going to make a witty retort but I realized that your lack of a proper education would make it difficult for you to understand my insult,” Mr. Dillon said.
“The only thing I do not understand is why he invited your sad little Collection here today,” Sonia said. “The Vargas Foundation will pay whatever it takes to secure the Breastinomicon.”
“Perhaps he wishes you here to see how a real collector of rare books handles priceless merchandise,” Mr. Dillon said. “He is a professor after all. They do love teaching the ignorant.”
“Oh please,” Sonia said. “When we purchase the Breastinomicon, we will have every page scanned and uploaded to our database. The book will be put away in a special vacuum vault, never to be touched by human hands again while the contents will be enjoyed by future students of the Vargas Foundation. This is far superior to being locked away at whatever shelf the owners of the Collette-Ashbee Collection use for their hoarded books.”
“Hoarding is such a strange word to use,” Mr. Dillon said. “We loan our books all across the world to colleges and established learning centers of erotica. We collect and disseminate without prejudice for who knows what books of today will be appreciated tomorrow?”
Before Sonia could respond, the doors to the antechamber opened. It was the maid.
“Professor Ulrich will see you now,” the maid said. “Only the senior members please. He has no time to waste with subordinates today.”
Mr. Dillon turned to Claire and leaned in close. He spoke in a whisper.
“Ms. Currie, I want you to seduce Mr. Ortez and engage in messy filthy sex. In other words, just indulge your usual appetites.”
Claire blinked. “Mr. Dillon? I think I misheard you.”
“Ms. Currie,” he said testily. “I don’t care how you do it, but you will get this man to engage in carnal activities. The honor of the Collection is at stake!”
“Behave yourself while I am gone, Manuel,” Sonia said. “This won’t take long to convince Professor Ulrich to hand over the Breastinomicon to the Vargas Foundation.”
“Only if he is suffering from a brain tumor,” Mr. Dillon said.
“This way,” the maid said.
Claire watched as Mr. Dillon and Ms. Garcia left the room. The doors closed and Claire was alone with Manuel. The young man smiled and held out his hand.
“I apologize for Senora Garcia’s behavior,” he said. “She has a long standing grudge with Senor Dillon. I have been hearing about it all morning.”
“That is very kind of you,” Claire said. She shook his hand. “I don’t know about you, but I am extremely hot.”
Before he could respond, Claire unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse. Realizing that she was wearing the bust crushing black bra, she undid a few more buttons.
“Senora Currie,” Manuel said. “You may not be aware that I can see your la pecha.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I am okay with that,” Claire responded. “We are all erotica librarians, aren’t we? I am sure that we have both seen far more explicit things than my bra?”
Manuel nodded. “Yes. Senora Garcia makes me look at erotica all day long and then masturbate once a morning to clear my mind.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting,” Claire said as she pulled her shirt off. “Tell me, do you and Ms. Garcia fuck? Mr. Dillon fucks me all the time because he feels it is necessary to ease any erotic pressure we may build during the day.”
Manuel swallowed hard. “Senora Garcia has me service her quite often, with my mouth and my fingers. She refuses to aid my climax however as she says that it would not be professional.”
“Aww, that is too bad,” Claire said. “Excuse me one moment, this bra is just too confining.”
Claire reached behind her and unfastened the bra. She let out a sigh of relief that was did not involve any acting on her part. The bra fell away and Claire lifted her heavy breasts and gave them a good squeeze.
“That is much better,” Claire said. “I really like to let them breathe, you know?”
Manuel stared at her breasts. They seemed to have the same calming effect on Manuel that they did on Mr. Dillon.
“I noticed that Ms. Garcia has very impressive breasts,” Claire said. “Does she let you touch them?”
“No,” Manuel said.
“Would you like to touch mine?” Claire said.
Manuel looked to the doors of the antechamber. Claire walked closer to him and grabbed his hand. Before he could come up with an excuse not to, she placed his hand on her right tit.
“Madre dios,” he whispered. His fingers were ever so gentle as he squeezed.
“Do they feel nice?” Claire asked.
“Si,” Manuel said. His eyes were dreamy as he touched her tit.
“Well, they taste even better,” she said.
Manuel looked at her and Claire took the lead again. She gently pulled his head to her breast. His mouth knew what to do. He carefully took her nipples between his lips and sucked as gently as a new lover.
Images of Mr. Dillon’s dirty story filled Claire’s mind. She imagined them in a hotel hallway and Manuel was some random passerby. She was already wet from the indecency of their act in someone else’s home but now she was rubbing her thighs together with need.
“It isn’t easy being an assistant to a demanding boss, is it, Manuel?” Claire asked.
Manuel said no but it was hard to hear because he wasn’t letting her nipple out of his mouth.
“At least Mr. Dillon fucks me,” Claire said. “I can not imagine how difficult it must be for you to catalog and purchase erotica all day and then only have the comfort of your hand. You poor, poor, man.”
Manuel made a sound of acknowledgement from her cleavage.
“I want to do something for you, Manuel,” Claire said. “As a fellow librarian you understand? I want to give you your sexual fantasy. Tell me what you want and I will do it right here.”
“Right now?” Manuel said. He stood up and fear was clear on his face. “What if the others return?”
“Really, Manuel?” Claire said. “You really think my boss and your boss can finish insulting each other in less than an hour, much less conduct any business?”
Manuel smiled. He was adorably cute.
“Get on this table,” he said. “On your back with your head off the table. I want to fuck your mouth.”
“I like this,” Claire said and it was true. She was soaked between her legs. So often she had been used for Mr. Dillon’s pleasure, it was nice to be used for the pleasure of another assistant like herself.
She hopped on the table and spun around. Claire leaned back and her shoulders rested on the edge of the table. Her head went further until she was looking at Manuel upside down.
Manuel already had his cock out. He had strange bright yellow boxers and Claire wondered if he too had a dress code. Thoughts of his clothes vanished as she saw the thick girth of his cock. He was hard and ready to plunge into her mouth.
Claire opened her lips just in time as his cock aimed for her mouth. He came in too fast and too eager but Claire took him all the same. She recognized his need and she wanted to help him. Her mouth closed around his cock and her cheeks collapsed as she sucked.
Manuel babbled a string of Spanish words that Claire didn’t understand. She kept sucking.
She felt his hands on her tits. He had one in each hand and his fingers squeezed her soft flesh. He tried to get as much of her breasts as possible into his hands and although he would never succeed, Claire was enjoying the trying.
Claire reached with her hands and pulled his ass to her. She was impressed by how fit his ass was and she only wished that she was grabbing it while he fucked her. Oh well. This was his fantasy and Claire and her mouth was happy to oblige. She pulled him deeper down her throat until his balls were pressed against her face.
Manuel pinched her nipples and Claire moaned. After all his gentle care, she was unprepared when he twisted her nipples. Beautiful pain rippled through each breast, traveled her body and collided between her thighs. She spread her legs in need as he pinched harder.
“Oh, how I wish I could do this to Senora Garcia,” Manuel said.
Claire moaned at the thought. It didn’t bother her that she was a proxy for his wicked boss. If anything, she was happy to help.
She let go of his ass and reached for her skirt. Nimble fingers pulled her skirt up and pulled her thong to the side. Claire plunged her fingers into her sex as Manuel took advantage of her mouth and breasts.
Claire’s sex was drenched with desire. Her fingers glided in and stroked furiously. Perhaps Mr. Dillon was right; maybe she did have a hungry cunt.
Manuel pulled his cock from her mouth. Claire groaned with frustration. Was he regretting what he was doing? Before she could ask, he lifted his balls and dropped them on Claire’s mouth. She took his balls and sucked on them as he stroked his cock.
“Si, si, si,” Manuel moaned as she stroked faster.
Claire stroked herself in time with his hand. His balls tasted of sweat but she sucked and licked with all of her talent. She had the entirety of his balls between her lips and she was using the utmost care with the treasures that he entrusted her with.
Meanwhile, Mr. Dillon was half listening to Ms. Garcia’s pitch to Professor Ulrich. He supposed that he should be paying more attention to what she was saying just so that the Collection could learn the latest about the Vargas Foundation but quite frankly, he was too mesmerized by how far gone Professor Ulrich had become.
The three of them were sitting in his office except that Professor Ulrich was seated behind a glass wall. The elderly professor was breathing from an oxygen mask even though Mr. Dillon was sure that Ulrich was in excellent health. Mr. Dillon was also sure that the professor did not need to wear the latex gloves as he sat at his desk nor did the professor need to check his temperature every two minutes.
Professor Ulrich was obviously stark raving mad. Mr. Dillon found comfort in that. It would explain how the old fart could possibly find fault with Mr. Dillon in the past. It also made Professor Ulrich far easier to manipulate.
“If I may interrupt my inferior colleague for a moment,” Mr. Dillon said. “I really don’t think the elaborate procedures that the Vargas Foundation implements are all that important.”
Ms. Garcia frowned. The beautiful woman was obviously not used to being interrupted.
“You may not find our methods interesting,” Ms. Garcia said. “But I am sure that Professor Ulrich will want to know that his Breastinomicon is going to a state of the art home.”
“It does sound very impressive,” Professor Ulrich said with the thermometer still in his mouth.
“Well, sure,” Mr. Dillon said. “Technology is wonderful but it is only good as the people who apply the technology and I am sure, Professor, that you will agree that if one is lax in their vigilance, all sorts of bad things could happen. A book could get wet, rot and develop all sorts of germs.”
Professor Ulrich gasped in terror.
“This is ridiculous,” Ms. Garcia said. “If you are trying to insinuate that a single member of the Vargas Foundation has less than perfect behavior, then you are simply delusional.”
“So I assume that you instructed your Mr. Ortez to be on his best professional manners for this trip?” Mr. Dillon asked.
Ms. Garcia tilted her head up at a defiant angle. “Of course.”
“Professor Ulrich, if you will turn on your hidden camera for antechamber, you will see that my assistant, whom is acting on my instructions, will be performing a deviant act with Mr. Ortez.”
“Uh, what makes you think I have a hidden camera?” Professor Ulrich.
“Professor, I clearly remember on my third visit here that you berated me for biting a fingernail. Considering that I only did that in the antechamber, I can only assume that you have a camera.”
“Hrm,” Professor Ulrich said. He pressed a button on his desk and one of the paintings slid away to reveal a video screen.
Ms. Garcia gasped at the sight that appeared. Ms. Currie was on the table, her blouse missing and her breasts exposed for Mr. Ortez’s groping. Even more shocking was Mr. Ortez’s balls were sitting inside Ms. Currie’s mouth as he stroked himself furiously.
The thermometer dropped from Professor Ulrich’s mouth.
“Now, shall we discuss how much I should write the check for?” Mr. Dillon asked.
Back in the antechamber, Claire was stroking passionately between her legs. She couldn’t see anything except Manuel’s ass as she licked his balls. Claire didn’t need to see anything. She could hear his moans and feel the fury of his hand pumping his cock. She had become his ultimate fantasy and Claire relished her role.
Even more importantly, she was doing exactly what Mr. Dillon has asked of her. She didn’t know what his plan was but she had trust in him. Somehow this would make getting the Breastinomicon and that was vital for the library. Most of all, it was important to Mr. Dillon and she could only imagine the gratitude he might show her.
Hell, he might even say something nice.
The thought of his praise enflamed her sex. She planted her heels on the table and lifted her pelvis as she stroked faster. Her tongue licked, licked and licked Manuel’s smooth balls.
Claire’s climax sent tremors from her sex, up her stomach, across her sensitive nipples and out through her moaning lips around Manuel’s balls.
Manuel came. He shook as he erupted. Claire felt a stream of seed land across her chest, followed by a second stream and then a third. The rest of the seed slid down his cock and onto her waiting lips.
The doors flew open. “Manuel!” Ms. Garcia yelled. What she said next was just a long tirade of Spanish but it was certainly angry.
Manuel popped his balls out of Claire’s mouth and responded in Spanish. Instead of meek servitude, there was quite a bit of hostility in Manuel’s response. Claire wasn’t sure if the poor man was finally venting his frustrations or if Spanish was just an angry sounding language.
Mr. Dillon came into the room. He was carrying a briefcase that appeared to have some sort of temperature gauge.
“Come along, Ms. Currie,” he said. “We need to get back to the hotel and prepare the Breastinomicon for shipping.”
Claire grabbed her shirt and bra. She followed Mr. Dillon out of the room while Ms. Garcia and Mr. Ortez continued to yell at each other. Outside the room, the maid waited with a bucket of cleaning alcohol and a UV light.
Mr. Dillon paused in the hallway for Claire to put her blouse back on before they stepped outside. Claire’s dark body was marked with drying white seed. Claire was still feeling giddy from the orgasm so she asked an improper question.
“Did I do a good job, sir?” she asked.
Mr. Dillon thought about it. “You did . . . well.”
Claire nearly came a third time that day.
Mr. Dillon looked around the antechamber that the maid had brought them to. A large wooden table dominated a room decorated with expensive paintings, a few leather chairs and a chandelier that may have been crafted in another century.
“I know, Ms. Currie,” Mr. Dillon said. “The obvious poverty almost wrenches the heart.”
The doors to the hallway opened and the maid came back in. Behind her were a Hispanic man and woman. Mr. Dillon growled and Claire felt the hairs on her neck stand up.
“The Professor will see both of you shortly,” the maid said as she left the room.
“Sonia Garcia,” Mr. Dillon said. His voice was neutral and devoid of emotion. “Chief Procurer for the Vargas Foundation.”
The woman smiled. She was bearing more cleavage than Claire thought was structurally possible for a blouse. Thick black hair was held back by a silver headband. As Claire studied her, she noticed that the woman’s smile never reached her cold eyes.
“Oliver Dillon, head librarian for that antique collection of trivial smut called the Collette-Ashbee Collection,” Sonia said.
Mr. Dillon turned to Claire. “You may not have heard of the Vargas Foundation as they were only founded within the last fifty years. Their mission is to collect erotic books, films, magazines, and novelty items of an erotic nature.”
Sonia frowned. “What Oliver meant to say was that unlike the non-discriminating Ashbee-Collette collection which buys every single book every written no matter how shitty it is, the Vargas Foundation only adds the most prestigious and highest quality works to their collection for the future enrichment of mankind.”
“Oh yes,” Mr. Dillon said. “I forgot that the Vargas Foundation with their mere decades of existence have already decided which works of erotica will merit study in the future. I don’t knob why I keep forgetting about their clairvoyant approach to erotica.”
“This is my assistant, Manuel Ortez,” Sonia said as if she didn’t hear Mr. Dillon. “He is a superb researcher and although at least half your age, Oliver, he already posses a knack for identifying forgeries that is uncanny.”
The young man nodded towards Mr. Dillon and Claire. “Pleased to meet you,” he said in accented English.
“This is my assistant, Claire Currie,” Mr. Dillon said. “Despite her tendency to confuse the names of Italian authors, she has a slightly better than average skill when it comes to spine damage analysis.”
Sonia was silent for a moment as she tried to understand if Mr. Dillon was insulting his own assistant or wildly praising her skills. Claire knew him well enough to know that it was the latter.
“It is nice to make your acquaintance, Ms. Garcia,” Claire said. She offered her hand to Sonia. The woman did not take it. Claire put her hand down and decided that she would hate this bitch too.
“Ah, you have an assistant from Britain?” Sonia said. “Her accent will give your library the appearance of intelligence that has been lacking.”
“I was going to make a witty retort but I realized that your lack of a proper education would make it difficult for you to understand my insult,” Mr. Dillon said.
“The only thing I do not understand is why he invited your sad little Collection here today,” Sonia said. “The Vargas Foundation will pay whatever it takes to secure the Breastinomicon.”
“Perhaps he wishes you here to see how a real collector of rare books handles priceless merchandise,” Mr. Dillon said. “He is a professor after all. They do love teaching the ignorant.”
“Oh please,” Sonia said. “When we purchase the Breastinomicon, we will have every page scanned and uploaded to our database. The book will be put away in a special vacuum vault, never to be touched by human hands again while the contents will be enjoyed by future students of the Vargas Foundation. This is far superior to being locked away at whatever shelf the owners of the Collette-Ashbee Collection use for their hoarded books.”
“Hoarding is such a strange word to use,” Mr. Dillon said. “We loan our books all across the world to colleges and established learning centers of erotica. We collect and disseminate without prejudice for who knows what books of today will be appreciated tomorrow?”
Before Sonia could respond, the doors to the antechamber opened. It was the maid.
“Professor Ulrich will see you now,” the maid said. “Only the senior members please. He has no time to waste with subordinates today.”
Mr. Dillon turned to Claire and leaned in close. He spoke in a whisper.
“Ms. Currie, I want you to seduce Mr. Ortez and engage in messy filthy sex. In other words, just indulge your usual appetites.”
Claire blinked. “Mr. Dillon? I think I misheard you.”
“Ms. Currie,” he said testily. “I don’t care how you do it, but you will get this man to engage in carnal activities. The honor of the Collection is at stake!”
“Behave yourself while I am gone, Manuel,” Sonia said. “This won’t take long to convince Professor Ulrich to hand over the Breastinomicon to the Vargas Foundation.”
“Only if he is suffering from a brain tumor,” Mr. Dillon said.
“This way,” the maid said.
Claire watched as Mr. Dillon and Ms. Garcia left the room. The doors closed and Claire was alone with Manuel. The young man smiled and held out his hand.
“I apologize for Senora Garcia’s behavior,” he said. “She has a long standing grudge with Senor Dillon. I have been hearing about it all morning.”
“That is very kind of you,” Claire said. She shook his hand. “I don’t know about you, but I am extremely hot.”
Before he could respond, Claire unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse. Realizing that she was wearing the bust crushing black bra, she undid a few more buttons.
“Senora Currie,” Manuel said. “You may not be aware that I can see your la pecha.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I am okay with that,” Claire responded. “We are all erotica librarians, aren’t we? I am sure that we have both seen far more explicit things than my bra?”
Manuel nodded. “Yes. Senora Garcia makes me look at erotica all day long and then masturbate once a morning to clear my mind.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting,” Claire said as she pulled her shirt off. “Tell me, do you and Ms. Garcia fuck? Mr. Dillon fucks me all the time because he feels it is necessary to ease any erotic pressure we may build during the day.”
Manuel swallowed hard. “Senora Garcia has me service her quite often, with my mouth and my fingers. She refuses to aid my climax however as she says that it would not be professional.”
“Aww, that is too bad,” Claire said. “Excuse me one moment, this bra is just too confining.”
Claire reached behind her and unfastened the bra. She let out a sigh of relief that was did not involve any acting on her part. The bra fell away and Claire lifted her heavy breasts and gave them a good squeeze.
“That is much better,” Claire said. “I really like to let them breathe, you know?”
Manuel stared at her breasts. They seemed to have the same calming effect on Manuel that they did on Mr. Dillon.
“I noticed that Ms. Garcia has very impressive breasts,” Claire said. “Does she let you touch them?”
“No,” Manuel said.
“Would you like to touch mine?” Claire said.
Manuel looked to the doors of the antechamber. Claire walked closer to him and grabbed his hand. Before he could come up with an excuse not to, she placed his hand on her right tit.
“Madre dios,” he whispered. His fingers were ever so gentle as he squeezed.
“Do they feel nice?” Claire asked.
“Si,” Manuel said. His eyes were dreamy as he touched her tit.
“Well, they taste even better,” she said.
Manuel looked at her and Claire took the lead again. She gently pulled his head to her breast. His mouth knew what to do. He carefully took her nipples between his lips and sucked as gently as a new lover.
Images of Mr. Dillon’s dirty story filled Claire’s mind. She imagined them in a hotel hallway and Manuel was some random passerby. She was already wet from the indecency of their act in someone else’s home but now she was rubbing her thighs together with need.
“It isn’t easy being an assistant to a demanding boss, is it, Manuel?” Claire asked.
Manuel said no but it was hard to hear because he wasn’t letting her nipple out of his mouth.
“At least Mr. Dillon fucks me,” Claire said. “I can not imagine how difficult it must be for you to catalog and purchase erotica all day and then only have the comfort of your hand. You poor, poor, man.”
Manuel made a sound of acknowledgement from her cleavage.
“I want to do something for you, Manuel,” Claire said. “As a fellow librarian you understand? I want to give you your sexual fantasy. Tell me what you want and I will do it right here.”
“Right now?” Manuel said. He stood up and fear was clear on his face. “What if the others return?”
“Really, Manuel?” Claire said. “You really think my boss and your boss can finish insulting each other in less than an hour, much less conduct any business?”
Manuel smiled. He was adorably cute.
“Get on this table,” he said. “On your back with your head off the table. I want to fuck your mouth.”
“I like this,” Claire said and it was true. She was soaked between her legs. So often she had been used for Mr. Dillon’s pleasure, it was nice to be used for the pleasure of another assistant like herself.
She hopped on the table and spun around. Claire leaned back and her shoulders rested on the edge of the table. Her head went further until she was looking at Manuel upside down.
Manuel already had his cock out. He had strange bright yellow boxers and Claire wondered if he too had a dress code. Thoughts of his clothes vanished as she saw the thick girth of his cock. He was hard and ready to plunge into her mouth.
Claire opened her lips just in time as his cock aimed for her mouth. He came in too fast and too eager but Claire took him all the same. She recognized his need and she wanted to help him. Her mouth closed around his cock and her cheeks collapsed as she sucked.
Manuel babbled a string of Spanish words that Claire didn’t understand. She kept sucking.
She felt his hands on her tits. He had one in each hand and his fingers squeezed her soft flesh. He tried to get as much of her breasts as possible into his hands and although he would never succeed, Claire was enjoying the trying.
Claire reached with her hands and pulled his ass to her. She was impressed by how fit his ass was and she only wished that she was grabbing it while he fucked her. Oh well. This was his fantasy and Claire and her mouth was happy to oblige. She pulled him deeper down her throat until his balls were pressed against her face.
Manuel pinched her nipples and Claire moaned. After all his gentle care, she was unprepared when he twisted her nipples. Beautiful pain rippled through each breast, traveled her body and collided between her thighs. She spread her legs in need as he pinched harder.
“Oh, how I wish I could do this to Senora Garcia,” Manuel said.
Claire moaned at the thought. It didn’t bother her that she was a proxy for his wicked boss. If anything, she was happy to help.
She let go of his ass and reached for her skirt. Nimble fingers pulled her skirt up and pulled her thong to the side. Claire plunged her fingers into her sex as Manuel took advantage of her mouth and breasts.
Claire’s sex was drenched with desire. Her fingers glided in and stroked furiously. Perhaps Mr. Dillon was right; maybe she did have a hungry cunt.
Manuel pulled his cock from her mouth. Claire groaned with frustration. Was he regretting what he was doing? Before she could ask, he lifted his balls and dropped them on Claire’s mouth. She took his balls and sucked on them as he stroked his cock.
“Si, si, si,” Manuel moaned as she stroked faster.
Claire stroked herself in time with his hand. His balls tasted of sweat but she sucked and licked with all of her talent. She had the entirety of his balls between her lips and she was using the utmost care with the treasures that he entrusted her with.
Meanwhile, Mr. Dillon was half listening to Ms. Garcia’s pitch to Professor Ulrich. He supposed that he should be paying more attention to what she was saying just so that the Collection could learn the latest about the Vargas Foundation but quite frankly, he was too mesmerized by how far gone Professor Ulrich had become.
The three of them were sitting in his office except that Professor Ulrich was seated behind a glass wall. The elderly professor was breathing from an oxygen mask even though Mr. Dillon was sure that Ulrich was in excellent health. Mr. Dillon was also sure that the professor did not need to wear the latex gloves as he sat at his desk nor did the professor need to check his temperature every two minutes.
Professor Ulrich was obviously stark raving mad. Mr. Dillon found comfort in that. It would explain how the old fart could possibly find fault with Mr. Dillon in the past. It also made Professor Ulrich far easier to manipulate.
“If I may interrupt my inferior colleague for a moment,” Mr. Dillon said. “I really don’t think the elaborate procedures that the Vargas Foundation implements are all that important.”
Ms. Garcia frowned. The beautiful woman was obviously not used to being interrupted.
“You may not find our methods interesting,” Ms. Garcia said. “But I am sure that Professor Ulrich will want to know that his Breastinomicon is going to a state of the art home.”
“It does sound very impressive,” Professor Ulrich said with the thermometer still in his mouth.
“Well, sure,” Mr. Dillon said. “Technology is wonderful but it is only good as the people who apply the technology and I am sure, Professor, that you will agree that if one is lax in their vigilance, all sorts of bad things could happen. A book could get wet, rot and develop all sorts of germs.”
Professor Ulrich gasped in terror.
“This is ridiculous,” Ms. Garcia said. “If you are trying to insinuate that a single member of the Vargas Foundation has less than perfect behavior, then you are simply delusional.”
“So I assume that you instructed your Mr. Ortez to be on his best professional manners for this trip?” Mr. Dillon asked.
Ms. Garcia tilted her head up at a defiant angle. “Of course.”
“Professor Ulrich, if you will turn on your hidden camera for antechamber, you will see that my assistant, whom is acting on my instructions, will be performing a deviant act with Mr. Ortez.”
“Uh, what makes you think I have a hidden camera?” Professor Ulrich.
“Professor, I clearly remember on my third visit here that you berated me for biting a fingernail. Considering that I only did that in the antechamber, I can only assume that you have a camera.”
“Hrm,” Professor Ulrich said. He pressed a button on his desk and one of the paintings slid away to reveal a video screen.
Ms. Garcia gasped at the sight that appeared. Ms. Currie was on the table, her blouse missing and her breasts exposed for Mr. Ortez’s groping. Even more shocking was Mr. Ortez’s balls were sitting inside Ms. Currie’s mouth as he stroked himself furiously.
The thermometer dropped from Professor Ulrich’s mouth.
“Now, shall we discuss how much I should write the check for?” Mr. Dillon asked.
Back in the antechamber, Claire was stroking passionately between her legs. She couldn’t see anything except Manuel’s ass as she licked his balls. Claire didn’t need to see anything. She could hear his moans and feel the fury of his hand pumping his cock. She had become his ultimate fantasy and Claire relished her role.
Even more importantly, she was doing exactly what Mr. Dillon has asked of her. She didn’t know what his plan was but she had trust in him. Somehow this would make getting the Breastinomicon and that was vital for the library. Most of all, it was important to Mr. Dillon and she could only imagine the gratitude he might show her.
Hell, he might even say something nice.
The thought of his praise enflamed her sex. She planted her heels on the table and lifted her pelvis as she stroked faster. Her tongue licked, licked and licked Manuel’s smooth balls.
Claire’s climax sent tremors from her sex, up her stomach, across her sensitive nipples and out through her moaning lips around Manuel’s balls.
Manuel came. He shook as he erupted. Claire felt a stream of seed land across her chest, followed by a second stream and then a third. The rest of the seed slid down his cock and onto her waiting lips.
The doors flew open. “Manuel!” Ms. Garcia yelled. What she said next was just a long tirade of Spanish but it was certainly angry.
Manuel popped his balls out of Claire’s mouth and responded in Spanish. Instead of meek servitude, there was quite a bit of hostility in Manuel’s response. Claire wasn’t sure if the poor man was finally venting his frustrations or if Spanish was just an angry sounding language.
Mr. Dillon came into the room. He was carrying a briefcase that appeared to have some sort of temperature gauge.
“Come along, Ms. Currie,” he said. “We need to get back to the hotel and prepare the Breastinomicon for shipping.”
Claire grabbed her shirt and bra. She followed Mr. Dillon out of the room while Ms. Garcia and Mr. Ortez continued to yell at each other. Outside the room, the maid waited with a bucket of cleaning alcohol and a UV light.
Mr. Dillon paused in the hallway for Claire to put her blouse back on before they stepped outside. Claire’s dark body was marked with drying white seed. Claire was still feeling giddy from the orgasm so she asked an improper question.
“Did I do a good job, sir?” she asked.
Mr. Dillon thought about it. “You did . . . well.”
Claire nearly came a third time that day.
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