Dirty Books: Star Wench

Star Wench by Anna Anthropy is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style book that details the heroic Star Wench trying to take down the highly erotic and highly dominant Queen of Space.

You have no chance of success however. In fact, instead of the usual complex decision trees of other COYA books, Anna Anthropy skips all of that and gives you ONE choice: Pick a page, and see how you will die. Every death will be sexy, grim and hilarious.

I'm pretty impressed with this approach. Most COYA books focus on empowering the reader or challenging them until they find the right solution. Star Wench has no interest in empowering the reader. This is an exercise in narrative domination. This is placing the reader in an ultimately submissive role. Your character will die, over and over again. Success is judged solely on whether you are killed by the Queen of Space herself instead of one of her many flunkies. This is purity.

Now that you know that you will die, just how fun are the deaths? They are pretty damn fun in my opinion. The Queen of Space is a terrible tyrant with a thousand kinks. A sense of Flash Gordon silliness pervades everything. You are never simply killed by a laser beam. Instead, you, and the planet you are standing on are killed by orbital lasers. Nudity, bondage and groping are frequent themes. Each choice is a mini-story that could easily be a full short story on their own.

If you love my character Erishella, then you have to get this book. I am insanely jealous that I didn't think of it first.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers

Dirty Books: Like Sugar

Like Sugar is an ebook by Joan Defers. It is about a college professor who hates life, himself and all of his students. He spends most of his time having sex fantasies about the hot students in his class. One of his non-hot students approaches him and makes an d/s proposal in exchange for skipping some lab work. Sexiness ensues.

From that description, you think you know the story. It is a powerful cliche. It has thousands if competitors on Amazon alone. You would be wrong though. What makes Like Sugar so much better than most teacher/student porn is that Like Sugar has the best written characters I have seen in a long time. The professor is a depressed asshole. The student is a smart secretive girl who knows more about power than he does. Both characters are funny, intelligent and most of all, believable. They have power exchange sex, but it is just as awkward, stumbling and hot as real life sex.

Ages ago I realized that my favorite porn stories were interesting characters doing interesting things. Like Sugar fits that perfectly. This is a coming-of-dom story where the dom is an asshole and that is not the positive trait that it is treated as in other d/s fiction. The actual d/s is interesting and aroused even my jaded mind. The student is a complicated woman who is too good for this and she knows it but it is all according to her goals.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers.

 

Dirty Books:A Tale of Sex and Swords

A Tale of Sex and Swords is a Choose Your Own Erotica ebook by Jane Amber.  You take one the role of Eve Nighthawk and your magical sister has requested that you come to her aid.  You travel the world and are now arriving at a port town where you will need to hire a boat for the next leg of your journey.  Unfortunately you are broke so you will have to do some quests in the port city to earn enough cash.

This book is high fantasy of the kind instantly recognizable to anyone who has ever played Dungeons and Dragons, Fighting Fantasy or ever watched an episode of Xena.  Some fantasy writers drown the readers in lore and history but the author is smart enough to tell you just enough to keep the story moving.

 The choice are implemented using hyperlinks, which is something I really need to do for my next book.  It works really well on the Kindle.  It also asks you to write down keywords at certain points for record keeping. For example, if you beat a dragon, it would ask you to write down Dragonslayer. Later in the book, if you have Dragonslayer written down, then the book will instruct you to click on a link that wouldn't ordinarily be available.  It is not a bad system and it helps enrich the story.     

These kind of stories usually go in one of two directions.  Either the warrior woman kicks ass and picks her sexual conquests, or the warrior woman becomes a victim and is dominated and assaulted by superior forces.  I was curious which choice the author would make and was pleasantly surprised to see that she included both.  If you want to kick the ass of a group of rough types, or be overcome by them and forced to engage in some rough sex, the author lets you pick.  I was pretty impressed by this.  Almost every encounter had a Xena choice or a Victim choice.  That was cool.  Different readers want different things and the author accommodates.

So let's talk about the sex.  Like I said, there are encounters that cater to the type of reader who wants to be in control, and there are encounters for those who want to lose control.  I was amused to see that there were a few choices where you can skip the quests and try to seduce what you need out of people.  When sex does happen, the author writes the entire sex scene and doesn't try to break it into choices.  That is something I wholeheartedly approve of.  When sex happens, you have a nice few pages to read.

 So let's talk about the adventure.  The adventure takes place in the city and you get a pretty free range of choices.  There is some monster killing, a few mysteries and multiple ways to earn the money you need.  I read if off and on over the weekend and I enjoyed playing it several times.

 My only criticism is the adventure ends when you get on the boat.  I was expecting to reach my sister and solve her problem, but this story is just episode one in a bigger story.  A story by the way that is not available for purchase yet. 

As a writer of a choose your own erotica type story, I can tell you that they are a lot of work.  I can see why the author might want to test the waters and see if there is an interest.  It still doesn't conceal my disappointment that this ebook only contains the first part of the journey.

Having said that, I really enjoyed it.  There are quite a few parts that I am dying to tell you about but I am leaving that for you to enjoy. $4.99 Might seem pricey but man, these kinds of books are such a pain to write that I fully support the pricing.  

I give it Four out of Five Pam Griers.

Dirty Books: Sluts in Space

Sluts in Space was written by Katie Cramer and it tells the adventure of two women with high sex drives who crash land on the wrong planet.  They encounter an evil warlord, a captured prince, a devious sexual interrogation device and just enough techno babble to satisfy the space nerd in all of us. 

It is hard for me to be unbiased in reviewing this story because this is exactly the kind of story I love to read.  The two main characters are the classic duo of a smart sexy girl and the less smart sexy girl.  They are brave, mostly competent and more amused by sexual threats than upset.  They kick ass and come close to taking it up the ass.  It is women in peril where the women rescue themselves.

If I have any complaints, it is that more of it could be science fiction.  The names of Stacy and Abigail don't exactly invoke a brave new world.  I was also a bit dissappointed when someone used a Taser when it could have been a stun beam, a gas gun or other high tech babble thingy that stuns.  Having said that, the Octogasm was awesome and worth the price of the book.

It is the first book in a series but it nicely episodic so it wraps itself up quite nicely with no cliffhanger.  It is short at around 19 pages but it was still fun and sexy.  I am looking forward to other installments.

I give it Four out of Five Pam Griers.

Dirty Books: Yolanda The Girl From Erosphere

Yolanda: The Girl from Erosphere is a 1975 science fiction erotica book written by Dominique Verseau although rumor has it that this is just a pseudonym for much more famous writer, Henri René Guieu.  It is book one in a series that I am pretty sure never saw a book two.  That is something of a problem as book one ends on a cliffhanger. 

What is it about?  See, in the future, humanity gets a hell of a lot less uptight about sex and gets very open minded.  Not open minded enough for male homosexuality apparently, but enough for casual sex between men and women and girl on girl action.  Yolanda is a sexologist and she is picked to join a crew of three astronauts to go to a mysterious destination on a new space ship.  The mission is top secret to the point that the astronauts are not told where they are going, but one of your crew is a sexologist, another is a linguistics expert and the other two are virile male mechanic types, the odds are you are going to sexy planet.

During the space flight, the four astronauts have a lot of sex.  The female linguistics expert is what passes for a prude in this society as she take a little convincing before she will have sex but trust me, everyone is having sex in this book.  I'd say 90% of the book is about sex acts but I am not a sexologist like Yolanda.

The other ten percent is interesting science fiction.  Although it is not explicitly stated, it occurred to me that the premise of this society is that what if the sexual revolution of the 1970's kept going.  Clothing is most transparent lingerie, people have an Age of Consent day where they discard their virginity and science is working hard on pills to help women's sphincters relax during anal sex.  It is an interesting idea and one that could only have been written in 1975 before the sexual revolution ran into the AIDS terror of the 80's.

I also whole heartedly approve of the use of science in a lot of the sex scenes.  I have this pet peeve about fantasy and science fiction erotica.  A lot of writers will use the setting as a place for people to get laid without thinking about how people in a world with magic or super science would be using their setting to help them get off.  This book is full of sexual aids that are unique to the setting.  Artificial gravity is turned into a sex aid.  Pills are made to relax your anus or flavor your sperm.  This is not a book where people in funny costumes have sex just like you do.  This is a book about space sex.

Which you better like because man, there is a lot of it.  The majority of the book is about the casual fucking that takes place on a space ship.  When aliens show up, they just join in the sex.  It took me a week to read this slim book because sex, sex, sex just bored the shit, shit shit out of me.

Funny aside, the sex aliens in this book look an awful lot like the Engineers from the Prometheus movie.  Which is hilarious in a kind of spoiler way that you will only get if you have seen the movie.     
The other downside is that after 180 pages of frolicking casual sex, the books end with a gangbang rape of the main characters by other, nastier sex aliens.  It was a real mood changer.  I can only imagine that in the 70's, rape was just another sexual position because I keep running into fucking rape scenes in 70's porn books.

It is a shame that there never was a book two because I am pretty sure it would have been like Anne Rice's Beauty book except in space.  Although I was often bored by the endless sex, I did enjoy the non-sex bits and I thought the imagination and science fiction was quite neat. 

I give it Two out of Five Pam Griers.

I Highly Reccomend Full Metal Orgasm

Full Metal Orgasm is a science fiction erotica anthology by my friend, Made in DNA.  It is also an intense labor of love from one of the most important voices in erotica today.  It is 100 pages of alien sex, tentacle rape, big guns, bigger tits, robococks, and anal black holes in a high-quality DRM-free PDF format. 

I am pretty biased when it comes to this e-magazine because it is a dream come true to someone like me.  It combines the aggressive science fiction of your favorite period of the magazine, Heavy Metal, with an emphasis on sex, sex, filthy sex.   More impressive is that although Heavy Metal was a big influence, this is a prose magazine.  It is all text and a celebration of text.  As a teen I bought Heavy Metal for the drawn tits and drawn violence and now I get Full Metal Orgasm for the written perversity and incredibly violent ideas.  It is that rare publication that inspires me instead of making me roll my eyes at the state of the industry.

If you have any affection for shit that will blow your mind and make you wince and moan at the same time, then buy this e-magazine.  I want to have a hundred issues of this and that is only going to happen if you buy it and tell your perverted friends.  

Dirty Books: Disappearing Penny

"Disappearing Penny" is an erotic ebook by Jack Stratton.  It tells the story of a young woman who becomes an assistant to a magician.  To help her relax and perform on stage, he hypnotizes her and does some mind tricks with her personality.  Sexiness ensues.

Most porn ebooks on Kindle are shit.  I say that as a snob and as a writer but man, it is so true.  Endless tales of incest fill the Kindle shelves.  The plots are as deep as the titles in spam emails.  The dialogue looks like it was ripped from instant message logs. Even a jaded glutton for punishment like myself can only take so much.

Which is why when a well written book like Disappearing Penny comes along, it is like a beautiful woman entering your life.  A magician and his assistant? That's a great idea!  A little hypnotism and mind control?  That's naughty and has me morally conflicted!  I like experiencing something other than anatomical descriptions.  An ending that is unexpected with a controversy?  Be still my beating heart.   

My biggest crush is on the dialogue.  Magician patter is almost impossible to pull off in writing but Stratton makes it look easy.  even when he tells you trick up front but pointing out the alliteration, the words just flow like magic.  Good dialogue in porn is worth all the money in the world.

It is a short story at 55 pages so telling you any more would be spoilers.  Needless to say, I wish there was more books like this.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers.

Dirty Books: Tong in Cheek

Tong on Cheek by Glen Chase is a 1973 sex spy book about Cherry Delight. Cherry works for N.Y.M.P.H.O which stands for New York Mafia Prosecution and Harassment Organization. Cherry is a natural redhead who loves sex and hates the mafia. She is deadly with guns, knives and unarmed combat and she great in bed.

The plot is that three Mafia hitmen have gone to communist China to make a deal with the criminal element there. Cherry is assigned to kill these guys and while she is at it, make sure they don't form a Mafia-Triad alliance. Intrigue!

You would think that with a title like "Tong in Cheek" that this would be a humorous book with cheesy names and funny situations. You would be totally wrong. This humorless book tries to be very serious while at the same time playing on almost Yellow Peril stereotype you can imagine the from the 70's. I read a lot of books from the period so I am used to the casual racism, but the situations and places covered look like they fell out of a pulp book from the 20's. And just to be clear, I don't mean that in a good way.

The book has plenty of sex but not much else. The plot feels frayed and strange. One good guy character gives off so many traitor vibes that I am utterly confused when he never becomes a traitor or is even suspected as one. A secret Chinese treasure is introduced part way through the story and hijacks the plot. You almost feel like there was an accident in the plot workshop and two books collided.

This really becomes apparent in the final act when people get captured and tortured. After more than a hundred pages of sex, two graphic torture and murder scenes feel very out of tone for the book. Cherry gets gang raped which was another dark surprise. It is like watching Porky's and then in the last 20 minutes, Eli Roth murders everyone.

According to the internet, Glen Chase was the same author who did the early Lady from L.U.S.T. books. The difference is pretty amazing. The one Lady book I read was light on sex and heavy on plot. This book was 90% sex and a really shoddy plot. There is an interesting essay to be written about the changing expectations of spy erotica over the years but I will let someone else do it. All you need to know is that this book is not any fun and not worth your time.

I give it One out of Five Pam Griers.

Dirty Books: They Want Our Women

"They Want Our Women" is a stand alone comic book by Lon Ryden. A combination of short stories and one page comic gags, this funny/disturbing book deals with the sexual comedy of little green men and the earth women they experiment with.

Bondage and distress humor is always tricky. Jokes made at the expense of captured women can always lean into unpleasant serial killer territory if the writer isn't careful. What helps Ryden out is that he draws some of the cutest aliens you have ever seen and most of the women don't look all that distressed. The art style keeps the mood light even when some of the jokes get a bit dark.





The best way to get your copy of this book, as well his really nice art pieces is to go to his ebay store.

I give it Four out of Five Pam Griers

Preview: Violatrix

Communications Officer Falexia Pom waited by the elevator. Her collar had summoned her to the bridge and the young officer was nervous. This was her first day as a bridge officer and she wanted to make a good impression.

Falexia shook her head. The translator implant in her brain only required her to mentally think of the proper symbol in order to shut down, but Falexia was still trying to turn it off with physical actions. She only had the implant for two weeks but already it was making life difficult for her. It was becoming clear why most Communications Officers burned out within a solar cycle.

Falexia checked herself in the mirror glass of the elevator. Her long blonde hair was pinned back in a regulation ponytail. The black metal collar that all Royal Navy personnel wore caught the light of the hallway and glimmered. Her rank allowed her a small amount of personal jewelry and she chose modest diamond earrings looted from a previous conquest of the ship.

It was her uniform that was taking a little getting used to. The tight black skirt barely came halfway down her thighs. The regulation black thong she wore would provide no cover for her ass if her skirt rose. Her already large breasts looked even larger held in by the black leather half-shirt. Her breasts threatened to spill out of the cutaway hole that exposed her cleavage with every breath. The stiletto boots were definitely sexier than the sandals she used to wear as an enlisted crewmember. While the rest of the ship wore simple black jumpsuits, Falexia’s uniform was designed to arouse and intimidate.

She looked good. She felt good. This is what she wanted. Being a Bridge Officer meant she had her own private quarters, a higher share of the conquest loot and personal command over any one that was not an officer. For the first time in Falexia’s career in the Navy, she had finally achieved a small slice of power.

The elevator doors opened. Captain Mitus Raz stood inside. Falexia felt her heart race at the sight of the Captain. Her jaw still hurt from when he interviewed her. She stepped inside and smiled politely.

“Good shift, Sir,” she said.

Captain Raz didn’t appear to acknowledge her. Falexia was relieved. She took the opportunity to observe him at her leisure. Last time they met, she had been too busy choking down his cock to look at him.

The Captain’s skin was dark ebony. He shaved his head and his lips were locked into a perpetual self satisfied smirk. The black collar almost blended in with the darkness of his skin except for the red skull that designated him as Captain. The red jacket of his uniform couldn’t hide the thick muscles of his powerful arms. The sharp knife hanging on his belt was decorated with gems befitting a Captain.

Falexia trembled. She remembered his hands pulling her hair as he forced her onto his cock. This was the most powerful man on the ship and her career and life could be snuffed out by him on a whim. She was afraid of him but her cunt was also terribly attracted to him. Was this normal for an officer?

The elevator traveled upwards to the bridge. Falexia closed her eyes and tried to slow her heartbeat. She also tried to stop the wetness between her thighs. She needed to focus on her job.

She gasped as strong fingers gripped her throat. Her eyes opened to see Captain Raz standing before her. There was fury in his eyes.

“Ensign Pom, you reek of fear,” the Captain Raz said.

“Sorry, Sir,” Falexia whispered. The grip was unrelenting on her throat.

“You are an officer of Queen Erishella’s Royal Navy,” Captain Raz said. “More importantly, you are the communications officer of my ship and you will be representing me. I can not be represented by a coward too afraid to keep her eyes open.”

“Yes, Sir, sorry Captain!” Falexia croaked. The fingers weren’t relaxing at all.

Captain Raz looked down on her. “It’s not just fear I smell on you, is it Ensign?”

“What do you mean, Captain?” Falexia said. How could he tell? Was she really that wet?

Captain Raz placed his other hand on her chest. He gripped her breast harder than the fist around her throat. The leather provided no protection as his fingers dug into her. She moaned as he crushed her breast. There was no point in denying it now. She was wet.

“A little bit of desire is not a bad thing,” Captain Raz said. “It keeps a crew sharp. It helps maintain morale.”

“Yes,” Falexia moaned.

The grip around her throat tightened painfully. Stars exploded in front of Falexia’s eyes.

“Yes, Captain!” Falexia corrected.

The terrible grip relaxed slightly. Falexia could breathe again.

“That’s better,” Captain Raz said. His other hand released her breast. It drifted down to her skirt and Falexia felt a new panic rise within her.

“Control your fear,” Captain Raz growled. His hand went under her skirt. Nimble fingers pulled away her regulation thong and pushed into her sex.

“Oh fuck!” Falexia groaned.

“Fuck indeed, Lieutenant,” the Captain said. “You are soaked. Is it your new promotion that has turned you on? Are you flush with power? How many of the enlisted have you ordered to have sex with you since your promotion?”

“Four, Captain.” Falexia confessed.

Captain Raz’s fingers pushed deeper. He had three fingers in her and he wasn’t being gentle. She took him. Her hips rolled with his fingers as he thrust.

“Four,” Captain Raz said. “Not a bad start, Lieutenant. And how many crewmembers have you punished for revenge?”

“Seven,” Falexia moaned. His fingers were so deep in her. He was fucking her where she stood.

“Excellent, vengeance is an important part of being an officer,” Captain Raz said.

The elevator stopped. Falexia expected the Captain to let her go but he kept both hands on her. She was impaled on his fingers and collared by his hand. There was no escape for her.

A crewman stepped in. He hesitated when he saw the Captain, but when he saw what the Captain was doing to Falexia, he stepped right in. Falexia didn’t know the crewman, but it didn’t lessen her humiliation. The lowly crewman was openly leering at where Captain Raz was fingering her.

She closed her eyes with embarrassment. They popped open again as Captain Raz choked her. Only when her eyes were wide open did he relax his grip.

His other fingers never ceased fucking her.

“Keep those eyes open, Lieutenant,” he commanded. “You are a bridge officer now. Be proud. Even when a lowly crewman is gawking at you, keep your head up high and keep those damn eyes open.”

“Yes, Captain,” Falexia moaned.

“Look him in the eye,” Captain Raz ordered.

Falexia obeyed. She looked right at the crewman. He was older than her, probably been in Navy service for at least twenty cycles. She saw the bulge in his jumpsuit and knew that he desired her. He looked her back, his expression being one of arrogance and mocking.

Falexia whimpered as Captain Raz finger fucked her faster. He pushed her legs apart to expose more of her. In the small confines of the elevator, the sounds of her cunt being fucked was inescapable. She could smell herself now, which meant that the crewman could smell her as well.

What if they reached the Bridge? Falexia wasn’t sure if the Captain would let her go. She suspected that he might keep her just like this till he was done with her, no matter how many officers saw her.

The thought made her tremble some more. It also made her cunt ache.

“What is your name, crewman?” Captain Raz asked.

“Qindoc Guk, Captain!” the crewman snapped.

“Qindoc, if I decided to demote Ensign Pom here and give her to you as punishment, could you handle that duty?”

“What?” Falexia said. His fingers tightened painfully around her throat. She gasped for air and his fingers relaxed only slightly.

“Yes, sir!” Qindoc replied.

“And what would you do to her?” Captain Raz asked.

“I would whip her to an inch of her life,” Qindoc said. “I have a few belts that would take the skin right off her, sir!”

“But would you fuck her, crewman?” Captain Raz asked.

“By the Queen I would fuck her,” Qindoc said. “I would fuck those big breasts and I would fuck her mouth. I would save her ass for last and I wouldn’t stop until her tight ass was full of my seed.”

“Excellent, crewman,” Captain Raz said. “I can tell that you have officer material in you.”

Captain Raz pushed his fingers further up Falexia’s cunt. Despite the horror of Qindoc’s eagerness to abuse her, her cunt was clenching and wet.

“Now listen, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Qindoc here is enjoying your troubles. He’s looking at your cunt, he’s listening to your cunt and he can smell your cunt. Right now he is enjoying himself immensely at your expense, isn’t that right, Qindoc?”

“Yes, Captain!” Qindoc snapped. The crewman licked his lips as her imagined the joys he could inflict on her.

Captain Raz stroked her a little slower, perhaps so she could pay better attention.

“Remember his face, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Remember his name. Recall that you are now an Officer and this scum dared to enjoy your misery.”

Qindoc’s mocking smile melted into an uncertain frown.

Falexia moaned and now it was from a sense of power.

Falexia threw her head back to break the translation cycle. Captain Raz took it as an invitation to stroke faster. She had no problem with that.

“That’s right, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Later you can fuck his face for your amusement. Or maybe you will just have him hurt. It is in your power. But you only have that power if you continue to represent me in the manner befitting the Violatrix. Are we clear on that?”

They were fast approaching the bridge. Falexia mastered the terror rising within her and looked at the Captain with as much confidence as she could muster.

“Yes, Captain,” Falexia said.

“Very good,” Captain Raz said. He pulled his fingers out of her cunt. She bit back the whimper that came to her lips. She was so close and now he was done. It might have been worth being exposed on the bridge just to have gotten off.

He also released her throat. Falexia swallowed her first gulp of real air in what seemed like ages. Her throat ached but she resisted the urge to touch her neck for bruises.

Crewmen Qindoc had his back to her. Obviously he was desperately hoping that she will forget him. Falexia smiled. She would have to track him down later and come up with a suitable punishment.

She did really wish that she had at least climaxed.

“Now, Ensign,” Captain Raz said. “Clean my fingers.”

He presented his fingers to her. They glistened with her desire. The Captain looked at her with an impatient expression.

Falexia opened her lips and accepted his fingers to her mouth. The Royal Navy had long ago taught Falexia that when in doubt, use your mouth. She sucked and licked his fingers. Because he was the Captain, she took her time and used her tongue meticulously on his fingers. It would not do to rush this job, no matter how close they were the bridge.

The doors opened. Qindoc hurried out the door. Falexia looked to Captain Raz but his expression did not change. For all his advice, he was willing to let her invite more punishment.

Falexia kept licking. She could still taste herself on him. There were a lot of her juices to clean.

Some on the bridge were glancing her way. Falexia wanted to close her eyes but she remembered the Captain’s words. She kept them open. She faced the other officers and endured their smirks.

That was okay. She would do her Captain proud. Maybe next time he would let her climax.

“There you go, Captain,” she said when she was finished.

“Take your post, Ensign,” Captain Raz said.

She stepped out onto the bridge with her head high and her eyes open.

To be continued in Violatrix.

To read more, buy the pdf at Kindle or buy the paperback at Lulu.

Dirty Books: Hoodtown

Hoodtown is lucha murder mystery by Christa Faust. It is set in a clever ghetto town where the masked culture of Mexican and Japanese wrestling is a lifestyle embraced by singers, grocery men, strippers, motel owners, barbers and all walks of life. In Hoodtown, your identity is tied up in your mask and to have your face exposed is the ultimate shame.

When a killer starts murdering Hood prostitutes and taking their mask along with their lives, the Skin cops treat the crimes as beneath their notice. Ms. X, a has been lady wrestler with a giant ass and a bad knee is pulled into the mystery. She's no hero but she gets caught up in solving these brutal crimes whether she wants to or not.

If you have ever enjoyed a Santo movie, this is your book. In fact, Santo is often referred to as a role model and inspiration. It is amazing how much creativity is invested into creating the world of Hoodtown. People pray to the Hooded Virgin. Barbers are skilled in the care of people who never expose their face. Everyone from the lowest bartender to the biggest wrestling star has a gimmick and a mask.

Faust acknowledges the showmanship and theater of the masked wrestling circuit but she also shows that the people involved are hard working proud people. The wrestling may be fake, but the bumps, bruises and glory are real. Ms. X used to be a great but now she is relegated to wrestling private matches with men who crave to be pinned under her giant lovely ass.

Although technically a murder mystery, Hoodtown has a lot of sex going on. Ms. X is a domme with her share of sweaty trysts. It was great to see a large woman as the sexual heroine. There is also an abundance of queer characters which was really welcome. Masked wrestling is kinky by it's nature yet so many authors try to pretend that it is all hetero machismo. Faust writes with the kink kept in.

Hoodtown is a great read. It is creative, fun, sexy and pure noir pulp.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers

Dirty Books: Doktormentor #1

Doktor Mentor by Shh3D Productions is a comic book about a crazed surgeon who operates on the hypersexual women of a lady's prison. The doctor is operating in secret within the bowels of the prison and kidnaps prisoners who catch his fancy. I say comic book but all the panels are photographs with word balloons. It is like a storyboard for the most fucked up softcore b-movie you have never seen.

What makes this book really special is how ludicrous it is. Everything is done for laughs and it is one of the few titillation stories I have read that had me laughing out loud when I was supposed to. Despite the torture porn premise, this is really bondage/distress slapstick with rather cool sets and props.

A lot of love and comedy went into this comic. The girls are hot and they get naked a lot, but it is the writing that is the real star. I would buy this for the story alone.

As an added feature, there is a bonus story in 3-D. Tits, funny writing and 3-D? All it is missing is popcorn and 64 ounces of soda to complete the b-movie experience.

I give it three out of five Pam Griers.

Dirty Books: Anything for an A

Tasty Miller's Anything for an A is a short little ebook from Sock Drawer Press. I actually have a book that will be published by Sock Drawer Press but I swear on the tits of Scarlett Johansson that I will be completely impartial in reviewing this book.

As you can imagine, this ebook is about an 18 year old female high school student who really needs to get an A from her male English teacher. Rather than do some hard work and studying, she resorts to the time honored porn tradition of seduction and trying to fuck his brains out. Being a teenager, she uses the kind of convoluted over complicated plan that teenagers love to try. Sexiness ensues.

The cliche of a student seducing their teacher is as old as time but in this book the cliche is only the skeleton of the story. The body on top of the cliche-skeleton is made of interesting characters, amusing jokes, pretty hot teasing and really hot sex. Yes, you know how it will end but how we get there is never boring and let me tell you, in porn not being bored is always a small miracle. It is a good porn story that you will remember long after you have forgotten others in this genre.

This book is a classic example of how you don't need an original idea for a great book, you just need to tell an old story in a great manner.

As an author I was really impressed with the length of the story. A lot of ebooks are barely longer than a blog post. Others are way too long and the story goes to places it never needs to go. This one clocks in at a pleasant afternoon reading. It is like the Red Shoe Diaries length of porn. It is just long enough to soak in the characters without over staying it's welcome.

I give it four out of five Pam Griers.

Dirty Books: Deep Throat

Deep Throat is the book adaptation of the movie of the same name. The movie was such a phenomenon that they were trying to cash in any way they could and I guess a dirty book seemed like a great idea. It is written by D.M. Perkins and he had his work cut out for him. The movie was just an hour long and all of the dialogue could fit in a brochure. All in all, he did a pretty good job.

I first read this book when I was a teenager stealing porn from my step-father. I was happy to buy my own copy from the excellent blog, Pop Sensation. If you like vintage books of a sleazy nature, you will love that blog.

The plot to the book is that Linda Lovelace is a girl who has never experienced an orgasm. After consulting with a sex doctor, she discovers her clitoris in located in her throat. She can now orgasm while giving blowjobs and much wackiness ensues.

Well, some wackiness ensues. Linda becomes a nurse therapist and uses her oral talents to help other sexually dysfunctional people overcome their own bizarre problems. This is the highlight of the book as Linda tackles difficult and perplexing problems that can be solved with oral sex.

Unfortunately for the reader, this phase comes to an end for Linda as she becomes unsatisfied with fun challenging sexual encounters and decides what she really needs is love. She takes a short detour and makes a porn movie about her life (OMG, so that is where the movie comes from!) before finally realizing that what a woman really needs in order to be happy is to be married.

Yeah. Now that you finally found your clit, Linda, you need to get married. Maybe the sexual revolution hadn't caught up to porn yet, I don't know.

I do want to say that this was a funny book. Sex scenes were more like sketch comedy scenes with an emphasis on the weirdness and inherent problem solving of the situation. Quite a few times I laughed out loud which is always welcome when reading porn. The book also discusses popular household brands which always feels extra naughty when reading a porn book. It was certainly a different time.

I also want to add that book is much more entertaining than the movie.

I give it Three Pam Griers out of Five.

Dirty Books: Death is a Ruby Light

"Death is a Ruby Light" by Paul Kenyon is book three of the Baroness series. Written in 1974, this spy book stars Penelope Worthington, a secret agent that is called upon by the United States when shit hits the fan. The fan in this story is that the Russians are sabotaging spy satellites and U.S. agents are dying. After breaking into the center of the Russian Space Program, Penelope discovers that hey, the Russians are having their satellites messed with too. The United States and the Russians team up to take on those crazy backwards upstarts, the Chinese.

Mixed in with this spy story of rival agencies and early 70's space programs is a shit load of fucking and killing. The book opens with Penelope enjoying a torrid affair when assassins interrupt their frequent sex. A hurricane of bullets, threats of molestation and karate moves later, and Penelope and her team of sexy men and women, engage in more combat and sex. I greatly approve.

I reviewed another retro spy book, Lady from L.U.S.T. and I made the comment that the titillation was almost cute. I am sure it was racy for its time but now it was mostly one long book of foreplay. 'Death is a Ruby Light' is the polar opposite. They don't talk about sex in this book, they fuck. They don't breeze over the action scenes, here they they shoot and kill. I am used to reading action books from this time period so I was used to the violence but it was refreshing to see that same explicit approach to the sex.

It can take a little getting used to. It is rare to see a women enjoy a nice long fuck scene and then later get electrocuted through her nipples in a very non-sexy interrogation. At one point the main character gets raped when she was unconscious and the rape happens off screen, but it was pretty shocking. The body count gets pretty high and pretty ugly.

That is probably why I enjoyed the book as much as I did. I enjoy spy books soaking in hyper-realism but failing that, I want a spy book that is insane and pure escapism. This book is certainly that. Any book that straps the heroine so she is sitting on a death laser so it will fire through her vagina and out her head, is a winner in my library.

Also unlike 'Lay Me Odds', the plot in this book is really good. The credit goes to the pacing which is just perfect for a book this size. It opens with a sex scene to introduce Penelope, but before the assassins appear, we cut to another chapter where we watch a handful of other agents get killed because they have been compromised. It was really effective at preparing the reader for understanding how fucked Penelope was about to be, as well as creating a delay for the reader who really wants to get back to her and see how she survives. Such manipulation of the reader is essential for this genre and I was greatly impressed.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers

Dirty Books: Lay Me Odds

"Lay Me Odds" By Rod Gray is book two in the Lady from L.U.S.T spy series. Rod Gray is most likely a man named Gardner Fox but house names being what they were, it is never a guarantee. What I do know for sure is this book was a crazy ride.

Eve Drum is a hot secret agent woman who can pick locks, shoot guns with awesome accuracy, ski like an Olympic athlete and is a master of Karate. She also has no problem creating a stripper act on short notice, assuming the role of a dominating mother to a psychologically scarred submissive male and fucking who she needs to for information. She is Bond with much better tits.

See, back in the 60's, publishing James Bond stories was printing money. Everyone else liked money so they made their own versions of Bond. I like to imagine that in the 60's, every other person at a gambling table was a spy. Some companies changed up the formula by making their secret agent American while other companies went further and made their agent a woman. Some smart companies realized that sex was the biggest appeal of Bond and went straight to porn stories. The Lady from L.U.S.T. fits snuggly into this category like a great bosom in a tight sweater.

That bosom in a tight sweater joke I made just now? That is what qualifies as porn in this book. In 150 pages I think I read four sex scenes and in some cases, I missed the sex scene because they happened in one sentence. For a book that is very frank about the subject of sex, there wasn't a lot of actual sex.

What there was a lot of was talking about sex. Before Eve has a threesome, she takes a moment to explain some historical practices of threesomes, what it is called in different languages and which countries are more open to threesomes than others. Even something as straight forward as stripping gets a lengthy explanation about the origins of stripping and what effect it has on the male psyche. It reads less like sex and more like sex education.

My wife mocked this aspect of the book but I was oddly unsurprised. I stopped reading most BDSM novels because I am sick to death of reading about characters justifying/explaining about why they enjoy BDSM. Too many BDSM books read like thesis papers on domination psychology. I sympathize because so many people in the BDSM community need to be told that what they like is normal and doesn't make them freaks. I understand why BDSM books feel the need to soothe their readers but after I have read the tenth theory on why BDSM is normal, I get a little sick of the subject. I guess in the 60's, people needed the same level of psychological soothing to help them get through a threesome.

This is not to say that the book wasn't sexy. Despite the discussion of sex and the micro short sex scenes, the rest of the book is spent with over the top action sequences and flirting. Holy shit, a sex book the flirts? It is like seeing a black lesbian unicorn. Eve shows off her stockings, makes suggestive comments, jokes, discusses how her ass and breasts look in different clothes and is an all round sexy gal. What the book lacks in out right sex it more than makes up for in teasing.

I should mention the plot. See, she has a contact who is supposed to give her some microfilm but agents of H.A.T.E have killed the guy and now . . . You know what? Who gives a fuck about the plot? All you need to know is that Eve fights some bad guys, spends most of her time in gambling places and divides men into people she can seduce and men she has to shoot. This is the rare book about sex and action that never spends too much time on either.

I give it Four out of Five Pam Griers

Dirty Books: House of Holes

House of Holes (a book of Raunch) is a delightfully dirty book by Nicholson Baker. It is about a magical sexual playground where any sexual fantasy can be fulfilled for a price, and if you don't have the money for it, you can certainly work it off. Want a larger dick? Are you willing to give up your arm for an indefinite amount of time? Want to have a larger ass? Okay but you may have to work awhile at the Wall of Asses and let strangers spank you. Want to have sex with a guy with a great body but no head? They have a room for that.

As you might imagine, this book is very surreal. It is also really dirty. There are no main characters as the book flits around to different characters who sometimes reappear and sometimes never appear again. Magic abounds with pseudo-sexual theory. In no way is this book meant to be taken seriously which helps creates a mood very similar to a quick masturbation fantasy.

The upside to this surreality is the lack of time wasted. Most reviews I have read can't even quote a passage from the book because it is filled with sex. The downside to this is that characters are rarely deeper than a description of their bodies and their libido. I don't think any character had a last name and towards the end I was getting greatly confused on whether I was reading about a new character or someone that I saw several chapters ago. It is a lot like an orgy that way.

There is a shitload of imagination in this book. The Pussyboard lets women surf using their pussies for control. The Groanroom is completely dark and no talking is allowed but other sounds are. They have a Handjob Cumshot competition and a gift shop. The book is more like an anthology of sex and crazy ideas.

The only real disappointment I had was the lack of representation of homosexual sex. As an erotic writer, I understand that it can be impossible to write about sex that you don't care for, but I usually at least include homosexual characters. With all the name dropping of special rooms and services, it would have been nothing for Baker to mention in passing that a male couple was headed somewhere. Considering that the House of Holes was supposed to be a place for any fantasy, this omission was terribly glaring.

Having said that, this is the most imaginative erotica book I have read from a mainstream publisher. Silly, light and devoid of deeper meaning, this book goes over the top and stays there. I found it to be a lot of fun but I had to read it in smaller bites than most books because the lack of a main character made it hard to follow.

I give it Three out of Five Pam Griers

Dirty Books: Bukkake Brawl

Bukkake Brawl is a violent sexpunk book written by Made in DNA. Filthy, perverse, cruel, and fast as lightning, this book chronicles the adventures of Mei, a sort of sexual gladiator who fights horny perverts with her body was the prize. In short, if she loses, she gets fucked. If she is lucky, she will be unconscious during it.

In an already awful futuristic dystopia, things take a turn for the worse when Mei's sister is raped to death by a midget with an enhanced elephant cock. Mei's only care in the world is revenge although it would also be nice if she can avoid the Hugo Chavez clones that are trying to kill her, as well as countless other enemies that want to rape and kill her just because she is there.

The paradoxical thing about all of this is that this is a really fun book. It takes place on a floating city where sex and violence has been pimped for every nickel and dime but at it's heart it is an action book. Sex is discussed in every other line but there really isn't any sex scenes in an erotic sense. It is a book of violence. People get hurt and maimed with a frequency that puts most horror books to shame. The extremes of the world turn it into a satire. Instead of a serious soul crushing book where you despair for Mei's slavery, it becomes a surreal hostile environment that Mei kicks, punches and cripples her way through.

It is stunning how many ideas are in this book. Many writers, myself included, would have been satisfied invented the Bukkake Brawl rules and leave it at that. This author went to town on so many different perversions that I couldn't track. It is escapism fiction with a ton of creativity and sexual exploitation taken to the extreme like only science fiction can go.

I should take a moment and discuss one of the oddest qualities of this book. It is written in tweets. I'll show you.

The crowd roared—the spittle from their frothing muzzles creating a fine mist that mixed with the blood from the cut above Mei’s left eye.

The cut burned with a maddening man-made piss-crackle fire. Was the jackhole in front of her hopped up on Accelerated NanoHerpes!?

She body-slammed him and placed his nuts in a crusher hold that took him out of the match. Better safe than sorry.

ANH wasn’t illegal, but it puckered her sphincter nonetheless. Bukkake Brawl rules: no traditional weapons. Otherwise, have at.


I'll be honest, I kind of hated it at first. I found it weird to stop-go, stop-go like that. About ten pages in, I didn't notice it anymore. In time, I started to really appreciate it. It gives you bite sized information to digest, which when it comes to science fiction and fantasy, you need those pauses to help digest the new information. It also weirdly fits the world. These characters live and die in seconds and rarely plan for the long term. By forcing the reader to consume information in this manner, I felt like the author was reformatting the reader. That is not a bad thing.

Bukkake Brawl comes with three short stories. Of these, Media Whores is fascinating and meaty while the other two are lovely short flights of fancy.

You can purchase Bukkake Brawl as an ebook from amazon

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers

Dirty Books: Bridgett Bonds: Grrl Trap

"Bridgett Bonds: Grrl Trap" by S. Sneakly tells the story of a pop starlet with dark lesbian fantasies that conflicts with her sweet public persona. Sadly for her, she is worth more to her record company dead than alive. She is targeted for death but being the music industry, her death is planned to be as tawdry and scandalous as possible.

Lucky for Bridgett, her death is scheduled to be at the hands of Grrl Traps, a trio of villainous dykes with a fondness for bondage. Death traps, bondage, licking and fondling invade her safe world. Bridgett must not only endure her greatest fantasies, but she must survive them to get revenge on the band who are trying to kill her.

Holy shit, did I love this book. I have always enjoyed Damsels-in-Distress but 95% of the fiction produced is quite campy and often stupid. These stories also tend towards a hatred of women that is is psychologically disturbing to read. The author avoids these pitfalls by writing a damn good story. The main character fantasizes about losing control of her perfect life and surrendering to imaginary enemies. When real enemies try to kill her, she is both seduced by the danger as well as galvanized to protect herself. It is the rare book where the main character grows during the novel.

I also have to say that I am terribly impressed by how S. Sneakly manages to tell a great adventure story while at the same time writing an awesome work of erotica. Most writers can manage one or the other but S. Sneakly does both. I have long since grown out of enjoying lesbian fiction but damn, these scenes made me feel like a teenager again with the heat involved. The plot of the story is gripping and believable, which is awfully hard to do in peril fiction.

I should also add that humor pervades the entire book. Not many erotica books make me laugh out loud but off the top of my head I can still recall three favorites jokes. Considering that this is a story where the main character is threatened with brutal deaths on a regular basis, the humor becomes an important tension breaker. It prevents the book from turning into a grim slasher movie and turns it into the greatest late night b-movie ever.

You should buy this book. If you love ANY of my stories, you will want this book. This story is the kind of thing I wish I had written It is only available as an ebook, which is a crying shame as I want it on my shelf. It is available at Extasy Books for the outrageously low price of $5.39

Buy Bridgett Bonds: Grrl Trap

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers