Freedom!

I an getting ready to leave the house to go to Dragon*Con. I've got a shitload of money, a digital camera and don't-give-a-fuck about anything attitude. I'll be back Mondayish, so everyone be good.

Fiction: Eve

She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was him! When she signed up to be a test subject for the Von Madd Laboratories, she never guessed she would actually get to meet the fabulous genius who had given her so many orgasms.

“Dr. Von Madd!” she said as she jumped up from her chair. “It is an honor to meet you!”

He looked at her. Well, she thought he looked at her. It was hard to tell with those purple goggles he was wearing. She couldn’t see his eyes and his mouth was too impassive to read either. He was a tall man so he had to look down at her, which made his impassive face all the more foreboding. He tilted the clipboard he was carrying and she assumed he read something.

“Yes, it is an honor for you to meet me,” Dr. Von Madd said. “I rarely conduct my own product tests but we are short handed today. There was an accident in the chocolate pornography department and now half the testing staff is eating their way to freedom. Please follow me to the testing area.”

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He exited the waiting room without even pausing to see if she was following. She caught up to him and before she could stop herself, she was babbling about how much she loved his products.

“I have been a big fan of yours ever since I bought your Secret Boyfriend vibrator!” she gushed. “It has been a huge help ever since my-“

Dr. Von Madd spun around and placed a hand on her lips. It was a gentle touch that covered her lips with the palm of his hands. His fingers smelled like fresh paper and plastic.

“Please, say no more about yourself,” Dr. Von Madd said. “The less I know about you, the better I can judge the results of the product we will be testing. The whole point of the Eve Program is to take random, sexually explorative women who have no prior lab experience, or background information that might prejudice the data gatherers. I don’t want to know if you are married, if you are a professional dominatrix or if you’re one of those sex bloggers we keep hearing about. As far as I am concerned, you are just a sexually adventurous woman; freshly sprung from the world outside my laboratory, also known as the Garden of Boredom. I will refer to you as Eve, and you will smile and say nothing except what is asked of you. Do you understand?”

Something fluttered deep inside Eve’s stomach. Oh, how she wished she could have told him that was she so turned on by being dominated by such a brilliant man. She wanted to drop to her knees and show him how compliant she could be. She had assumed her submissive tendencies were why she got this job, not she realized she had to keep them a secret from the one man she wanted to tell. Eve tried to nod in a vanilla non-submissive manner.

“Good,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Now come inside here, Eve.”

The room was rather stark. Blank white walls enclosed a space slightly bigger than her bedroom. A single bench sat in the middle of the room. It was shaped a lot like the bondage benches she had seen online complete with leather cuffs to secure her ankles and wrists. A small silver box sat to the side and Eve would have loved to know what was inside it. A paddle? Some new kind of violet wand? Something more terrible and perverse?

“Please strip down and get on the bench,” Dr. Von Madd instructed.

“Strip all the way down?” Eve asked.

Dr. Von Madd didn’t look up from his clipboard. “Of course, Eve.”

She started slow and sexy. She unbuttoned her blouse and took her sweet time slowly revealing the black lace bra she picked out this morning. She let the blouse drop to the floor so that her bra was in full view. The delicate lace clung to her breasts in a very promising way.

Dr. Von Madd kept reading his notes.

Eve slipped off one shoe and then the other. She unbuttoned her pants and shimmied to get the tight jeans down her long legs. Back and forth she wobbled in place, jiggling her breasts and bottom in an inviting manner. She bent completely over to remove her pants so that her long legs could be admired in all their beauty.

Dr. Von Madd frowned and turned to another page.

Eve sighed and stood back up. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra. It fell to the floor and exposed her tits. Her nipples were hard and waiting to be pinched, bitten or pulled.

Dr. Von Madd took out a pen and a wrote a note, never once looking up.

Eve frowned. She pulled at her matching black lace panties and pulled them down with the same care she used for her jeans. She lingered a little, taking her time before standing back up so that her bare ass could be appreciated. When she stood back up, she tried to casually run a fingernail along her bare thigh, trailing up towards her naked sex.

“Excellent,” Dr. Von Madd said and Eve brightened. “You’re finally ready.”

She sighed again. “Yes, Dr.”

“Good, now straddle the bench,” Dr. Von Madd said.

Eve nodded. She knew just how he meant. She swung one leg up and around the bench. Slowly she lowered herself down and reached out to place her wrists inside the leather cuffs. The bench was shaped so that it supported her body, but left her sex hanging over the side.

Dr. Von Madd walked around her. He secured the leather cuffs to her ankles and then walked around to her front to secure her wrists. He tied her down efficiently, not even pausing to caress or stroke the naked helpless flesh before him. Eve couldn’t decide if this frustrated her or turned her on more.

He stepped behind her and Eve struggled to see what he was doing but the bench held her firmly. Without warning, she felt fingers slip inside her cunt. Eve shivered and cried out at the sudden invasion.

“Excellent, I see you won’t need to be lubricated,” Dr. Von Madd said.

“Ah, no,” Eve meekly said as the fingers pulled away.

She heard the box open. Eve could feel the weight of something be placed on the bench between her legs. The sound of tiny motors echoed in the small room and something mechanical was certainly extending. Cold metal wrapped around both of her thighs and locked securely. Just as Eve was beginning to panic, something wonderful entered her cunt.

“Oh yes!” Eve called out.

“That is the usual response for the BegMaster 300,” Dr. Von Madd said. “It is a hands free vibrator, and it’s using your thighs to support itself as it gets ready to fuck you. Are the vibrations too intense?”

Eve shuddered as the vibrations became more pleasurable. The BegMaster slid deep into her cunt but pulled back just as it was about to fill her completely. She squirmed on the bench to get more of the vibrator into her, but the cuffs held her tight.

“It’s . . . it’s . . . its fine,” Eve stuttered, and it was. “What do you need me to do?”

Dr. Von Madd was still behind her. She liked to think he was looking right at the strange toy entering her cunt. That thought sent even more chills down her thighs.

“Do, Eve?” Dr. Von Madd said. “All you need to do is enjoy.”

Eve purred. That was easy to do. The vibrator dived deep into her and then slowly teased its way back out of her. The vibrations kept changing, ramping up to a pelvis shaking intensity and then dropping down to a pleasant tingle. Sometimes Eve would struggle in her bonds to fuck the vibrator but the grip it had on her thighs kept her from having any say in her fucking. She was at the toy’s mercy.

She didn’t know how much this was true till the vibrations suddenly stopped.

“What happened?” Eve demanded. The vibrator had completely removed itself from her sex.

“The BegMaster 300 works on a voice program,” Dr. Von Madd said. “You need to beg it to continue, and the BegMaster will analyze your voice for sincerity, desperation and arousal. In short, you need to convince it you really want it.”

“Oh, please, please, please,” Eve babbled, falling back on the old reliable plea.

To her surprise, it worked. The BegMaster penetrated her waiting pussy with a vengeance. The vibrations were stronger this time, and the thrusts were more rapid. It was fucking her hard, and that’s exactly what she wanted.

And it stopped again, this time in mid thrust.

“No!” Eve whimpered. “Please, please, please keep fucking me.”

“Remember, it also judges your begging by innovation,” Dr Von Madd said.

“Give it to me,” Eve said. “Fuck my cunt and use me, BegMaster 300.”

That worked. The thrusting resumed and Eve moaned. It might have been her imagination but it seemed like the vibrator was a little more ruthless now. It was pounding into her cunt now. The grip around her thighs seemed much tighter now. She squirmed to meet the thrusts and this time the vibrator worked with her. She could feel her orgasm start to swell and explode.

And it stopped again.

“Oh God, no!” Eve yelled. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please. Don’t stop, I am so close, oh please. I need it so bad, please keep fucking me.”

The BegMaster came back on. This time it was slower with it’s penetration but that was just fine with Eve. She would take it. She would take it fast, slow, whatever it took to keep being fucked. She was a helpless horny mess and she knew it.

It stopped again.

Eve shook the bench as her body launched into a tantrum. “No! Keep going! Please, oh please fuck me! I need it so bad! I am a horny whore who needs to be fucked, so please give it to me!”

That was enough. The BegMaster surged back to life and fucked her again. The vibrations were low this time, but that was compensated by the almost savage thrusts the vibrator gave her cunt. It fucked her so hard that the bench squeaked with each thrust. Eve took it gladly, surrendering mind and body to the fickle device.

She could feel the orgasm coming. The hard fucking was sending her over the edge. Although she couldn’t see Dr. Von Madd, just knowing he was there observing her was turning her on. Knowing that her every sound she made, every twist of her bound body and every clench of her buttocks was being watched by the doctor was keeping her in a state of heightened sensitivity. She knew that when her orgasm came, it would be entered into sexual science history.

The BegMaster stopped. More distressing to Eve, it released her thighs and slid completely out of her. She could hear the mechanical sounds of it folding back up. It wasn’t waiting for her to beg, it was stopping altogether!

“What? Why is it going away?” Eve said.

“It seems to be working fine,” Dr. Von Madd said. “The voice activation software is adequate and the automatic thigh mounting technology successfully anchored itself on the first try. We’ll need a dozen more first try tests with a dozen more Eve’s, but with a little luck we’ll get this toy out in time for Christmas orders.”

Eve whimpered. “But . . . I didn’t come.”

She felt a hand on her bare bottom. “I am sorry, Eve, but I can not let you use the BegMaster 300 prototype past its testing duration. Every minute of the prototype’s existence has been mapped out and preplanned. I can release your hands and you could masturbate if you like.”

“No!” Eve said. “I mean, please, I need to be fucked.”

She shivered as she felt his hand move. It dragged across her bottom in a very non-scientific way.

“Are you asking me to fuck you, Eve?” he asked. The cold impassive tone was gone from his voice. Oh, there was still distance in his voice, but there was something else there too. It was desire.

“Yes,” Eve said. She heard his zipper being pulled down.

“Too bad,” Dr. Von Madd said. He was half growling now. “Because what I really want is for you to beg me.”

“Oh I will,” Eve said. “I will beg, grovel and do whatever you want. Do me, spank me, fuck me, do whatever you want to me Dr. Von Madd, just use me. Please!”

The sound of dropping pants was her answer. She heard a condom package tear open and she moaned louder. Firm hands gripped her hips as she felt the tip of his cock touch her sex. She waited for it to slip in, but instead it just stayed there. It teased her and Eve knew exactly what she had to do.

“Please,” she whimpered.

“Please, what?” Dr. Von Madd said.

“Please fuck me,” Eve said.

“I’m begging you.”

So he did.

Hump Day Update

Tomorrow will be a new Von Madd story. It is technically ready today but I keep squinting my eyes at the ending like I don't trust it. Funny how when I used to post daily, I would think nothing of just throwing a story out there but as my updating becomes irregular, I tend towards more perfection. It is like, if I am going to post once this week, it had better be a damn good one.

Last night I dreamed I took a hundred beautiful pictures of a woman in a red dress posing in a library. This morning I woke up with Christmas excitement that I hadn't uploaded the pictures yet. That was when I realized you can't upload pictures from a dream. Or can you?

This Friday I am attending Dragon*Con again. Wohoo! I'll be away from any computer which is how I like it. If you are attending, drop me an e-mail and maybe we can meet up and you can see an actual sex blogger wearing a Thundcats shirt.

I plan to get some more art commissions done this year and have budgeted some money for it. I want to get a portrait of Otto, and I am debating getting one of a female sex robot since that story has been banging around my head for awhile. Otto Von Madd deals with super-science with every story but yet I have hesitated to do a fembot story of any kind. I think there is something inherently dom-like about wanting to create a female from scratch. Every time I see the Bride of Frankenstein, I always think of what an ultimate act of worship it is for a man to create a woman. It is about liking women so much, that a person gathers together their favorite qualities and try to concentrate those qualities into one person. Yeah the whole using parts of corpses is a turn-off, but as a writer, I sympathize with the desire to create a character who speaks and acts for themselves, but ultimately sprang from your mind.

But there is also something inherently loser-like in the creation of artificial women. It implies that the person needs to make your own woman instead of meeting real girls. Which is funny because the research I have done into people who have a fembot fetish are not interested in objectifying women as much as they like to feminize objects. Again though, that is not a terribly attractive sexual quality. Oh well, I'll figure it out eventually.

Whiney Work Post

When I first started the blog I intended it to be a place where I wrote, or I listed the reason why I wasn't writing. It was meant to be either be a showcase of my talent or my shame. Lately it has been all shame.

This weekend was nuts as I worked back to back twelve hour days. I am terribly proud of the amount of work I got done but that doesn't make for good porn. Trust me, not even I can make my job sexy. I lost an entire weekend to work, and as annoyed as I am with my loss of free time, I am far more annoyed at my lack of porn production. I feel cheated. I feel like less of a man.

Which is funny because I actually did get some writing in. I got up early Saturday morning before the rest of the house woke up and did a few more pages for a story I think will be ready Wednesday. I can't get over the comparisons writing sometimes has to an affair; you get your best work done when no one knows you're doing it. I did a lot of work on the story but because I didn't finish it, I feel like what I accomplished was very little.

Maybe it also bothers me because I had to turn down two potential dates just for sheer lack of time. Last week I had a friend unexpectedly drop into town because of a layover, and instead of spending any time with her I had to decline because damn it, this mid-month reports don't write themselves. I can't remember the last time I spanked someone, much less took pictures of them. Oh wait, yes I do. It was during a lunch break, on a busy work day. Wow, I had a whole hour!

Work *should* get better after this week but after two months of this high intensity workload, five more days just seems too far away. I am pooped.

Review: Stacked Decks

I was twelve years old when I came across my step-father's deck of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader cards. It was a deck of busty cheerleaders who just looked so happy to be there. Like all good cheesecake, I couldn't resist flipping through the cards with no real purpose in mind. Beauty in small easy to handle cards just seemed right. You can manipulate cards, laying them out in arrangements that only make sense to you. Women became objects that can be traded, shuffled, laid out and put away.


Man, did my mom have a fit when she found out about those cards.

Which brings us to the wonderful book of 'Stacked Decks' from the Rotenberg Collection. It's an illustrated history of naughty decks that cover the range from cheesecake decks, to risque humor decks to pinup art decks to outright nude decks. Crammed with examples of beautiful cards, the book does a good job of also covering the politics and inspirations of the times.

The historical view is what fascinates me most about this book. The author makes the argument that soldiers from WWII brought home erotic postcards from overseas, and naughty decks are an extension of those early porn treasures. He links it to the sexual revolution and makes a convincing case. Personally I think there were a dozen reasons for the sexual revolution but I'll add this one to the list. You can certainly see the cards change through the decades as they create a flirty timeline of the American libido.

Humor seems to be porn's reputable friend and that gets reinforced here. You can see the cards get a little less racy and then comedy becomes the excuse for things to heat up until we get to the pretty much pornographic cards of today. As a porn writer who started with writing parodies, I am also interested to see how humor is the ice breaker for erotica. I'm not sure if humor relaxes people into peeking at porn, or if humor relaxes the porn maker who can distance himself from his creations by saying its just for laughs.


I really can't express how beautiful this book is. At a sticker price of $24.95, this is a wonderful value. Every page is a delight and some real care went into the layouts. This is a book made for fans by a fan and it shows.

Worship

Kneel before me like a faithful supplicant.
Open your lips to the glory of my cock.
Embrace our communion with your mouth.
Pray to me with your tongue.
Swallow my blessing.

Fiction: Security Check

Katie Delman waved her badge at the unblinking purple electronic eye. She heard the tiny bell chime that acknowledged once again that Katie was an employee of the Von Madd Laboratories. The security door opened and Katie proceeded to the enclosed checkpoint room. All around her, other employees were entering their own private corridors for the next security precaution.

Sometimes processing so many employees really slowed the system down and that used to bother Katie. The Von Madd Labroties researched sexual science, not something dangerous like germ warfare or popcorn production. Katie thought the security was unnecessary until a team of corporate espionage agents were discovered trying to steal Von Madd's latest erectile dysfunction cure. There was big money in sex; just ask any poor bastard who shells out fifty bucks to get a hard on.

"Prepare for Identification Test," a friendly voice instructed. Katie never knew if the voice was automatic or a real person. She tried to imagine what that kind of job would be like. The thought made her guiltily wet.

Katie, M.I.T. graduate and top of her class, pulled her panties down to her ankles and lifted her skirt above her waist. She used one hand to balance herself against the wall while her other hand held her skirt up. Her ass was out at an angle perfected by many days of practice.

A paddle emerged from the wall. Laser targeting beams scanned her ass. The paddle was picked up by a robotic arm and brought into position behind Katie's behind. A trajectory was planned before the paddle swung up at Katie's ass.

"Oww!" she cried out, like she did every work day morning.

More calculations were made. Sensors within the paddle compared the resistance of Katie's buttocks to past measurements made on Katie's behind. The heat rising from the point of impact was analyzed and compared. Katie's exclamation was run through a sensitive sound computer that verified Katie's unique outburst.

It was determined that Katie Delman's ass was really Katie Delman's. The security check was complete.

But before the door opened, a second smack was delivered to Katie's waiting ass. She cried out louder this time and sudden burst of heat blossomed in her cunt. This time the paddle hit her so hard that her glasses slid down her nose. Katie thought the second paddle swing was more verification but she was incorrect. The second paddle swing was because a note in her file said that Katie's employee morale was always higher when her ass was stinging.

A chine went off. "Thank you, please proceed to your work station."

Katie stood back up. She pulled her panties up over her tender bottom. She smoothed her skirt back down. She pushed her glasses back up her nose. Outwardly she did her best to project a sense of professional intellectualism but between her thighs, she was already looking forward to coming back to work tomorrow.

Erotica Alert Level: Exhausted Blue

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Fiction: The Fierce Passion

Teresa smashed the guy’s face. As his head snapped back, she kicked him in the balls. Twice. It took real skill to kick a man’s junk twice. You have to really want to hurt someone. Teresa’s grandmother would have called it dedication.

The guy fell to the ground with a painful moan. The moan made Teresa think of Nick. She thought his name was Nick but she wasn’t completely sure. It was the same kind of moan that Nick had made when he sank his cock right into her cunt. Teresa’s cunt clenched as she savored the memory. They had just fucked fours hour ago. They had just met five hours ago. Don’t think that made Teresa a slut. It was just the way her grandmother had raised her.

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The moaning guy’s friend decided to do something. He reached for his knife. His mouth might have begun to say something about Teresa’s affinity with prostitutes but he never got a chance to share his wit. Teresa had buried both fists in his stomach and then brought them up against his chin. Broken teeth make it hard to say much of anything.

“Madre de Dios, I am so horny,” Teresa said and it was true. Fighting made her hot. The crunch of bodies, the movements of arms and the sweet connection of flesh on flesh was better than porn. Her nipples were hard, her cheeks were flushed and by Christ the Savior, she would have killed to have Nick’s cock in her right now. She wanted to fuck. She wanted to masturbate. She wanted to hump a door. She just wanted to get off.

Instead, she kept fighting.

She kicked down the door to the tenement building and charged in. Her black hair flew around her face. It obscured her vision but men were always such suckers for her long Latina hair. Just like they were suckers for her black sports bra that barely held in her breasts or the very short shorts that did nothing to cover her thighs. The only thing remotely sensible she wore was a pair of shiny black boots that laced up her calves. She wore minimal clothing so they could appreciate every toned inch of her body. Those few seconds they spent fantasizing about her was more than enough time for Teresa to do some permanent damage.

There were five guys in front of her. They were the typical thugs she had fought so many times before. These particular losers were part of a drug gang and Teresa had been paid by the local community to clean these vermin out. Teresa would have done it for free because her grandmother raised her to be a good girl, but a woman has to eat. Well, eat and get fucked. Nick’s cock for an hour of sex was part of her payment too. Five hundred dollars and eight inches of cock was Teresa’s standard fee.

They laughed because they couldn’t believe this pretty girl had kicked down their door. One made a comment about what she could do with her mouth. Another joked about how many times they could pass her around. They stopped laughing when she kicked the nearest one so hard his body spun twice in the air. She punched another in the throat before they started moving though. Boys were always so slow.

The three guys came at Teresa and for one moment, she thought about letting go. They were big guys. Two had knives and one picked up a steel bat. Three on one was dangerous enough to merit letting go. But no, she held it.

Kick of the Dancer took down the first guy.

Cat’s Claw took down the second.

For the third she almost used Kick of the Dancer again, but she could hear her grandmother’s sigh of disappointment in her the back of her head. It was lazy and sloppy to use what always worked. Only whores and white women used the same trick over and over. Teresa’s grandmother did not teach her only granddaughter the secret martial arts of their people just to have let her take the easy way out. This is why only women were taught and not men: women had more pride.

Teresa disarmed the last guy with Coyote’s Bite. She then took his steel bat and hit him upside the head. She rarely used weapons, which was all the more reason to do it now. Grandmother would have approved.

The guys were all defeated and Teresa was still horny. She ran up the stairs, casually slamming her elbow into some punk’s face as he came down the stairs. Teresa took the stairs two at a time. She could almost imagine Nick’s come from earlier sliding down her legs.

The dirty thought made her run faster.

Two more punks were at the top of the stairs. They were staring down at her bouncing cleavage. Neither of them saw her fists as they connected with their jean wrapped cock bulges. Tears blinded both of them as Teresa’s uppercuts sent them into unconsciousness.

Teresa stood at the top of the stairs and caught her breath. Her body was vibrating with adrenaline and sex. Her fists and feet were ready to smash into anyone stupid enough to face her. Her cunt was ready to be fucked.

A knife flew at her. Teresa laughed; a sexy giggle that belonged in a bedroom not a dirty gang home. She caught the knife in the air and was ready to throw it right back at the sweaty punk who was now running from her. At the last moment she changed her aim and threw the knife at his leg. He fell to the ground screaming until Teresa crushed her boot down onto his skull.

“Fuck yeah!” Teresa yelled. The fighting lust was upon her. The old men of her village often whispered how the battle lust of women made even soccer fans look tame. The young boys never believed it until it was too late. The married men however, they always believed.

Doors opened all around her. Men came pouring out like hard cocks out of tight underwear. Some carried knives, some carried chains and the rest carried any nasty object they could find. It was the whole damn gang and Teresa was in a tight hallway.

Now would have been a perfect time to let go. Her body coiled within itself, ready to release but Teresa stopped it with all her will. These fools were not worth it.

She shrugged off her sports bra. The idiots hesitated and leered at her perky brown tits. While they stared, she launched herself at them. The tight hallway should have been bad for her but she used it to her advantage. She used Mother’s Slap to knock the sense out of the biggest of them and used his crying body as a roadblock. She aimed for knees and ankles, snapping bones till the hallway was littered with the wailing. Only so many of the fuckers could get to her when they had to climb over their fallen friends’ bodies.

Teresa’s body did what it did best. Muscular arms drove fists into soft places. Tight thighs held her steady as she kicked male flesh. Hard nipples caught the dim light long enough to distract the stupid. Cold eyes saw the next man to take down while smiling lips mocked the fallen. Lastly, Teresa’s wet sensitive pussy kept clenching in anticipation.

It didn’t take five minutes to reduce the terror of the streets into a crying mess of machismo. Men who raped girls were now weeping. Men who sold drugs to children begged for mercy. Men who were disgraces to their families mourned the loss of feeling in their limbs. Teresa stepped over their twitching bodies. If she didn’t love cock so much, she would have sworn men off forever.

Locked doors shattered under punishing kicks. This was the worse time. The final targets were within reach, her body was sweaty and you could almost taste the climax of the job. Teresa started to tremble and she had to vividly recall her grandmother’s face to keep from masturbating.

The boss was hiding in his bedroom. A gang of whores surrounded him but they were too afraid to be much of a problem. Teresa had eyes only for their owner. He was a big fucker who pumped iron to look good instead of being tough. Asshole was still big enough to be dangerous though. He must have seen one too many Tarantino movies because instead carrying a gun like a smart man, he was carrying a fucking sword. It was ridiculous but as big as he was, he could send a butter knife through a truck. A damn sword made him dangerous.

The sword wielding nut screamed at her. He came charging, trampling one of his sluts like she was discarded underwear not worth stepping over. Veins popped all over his body as he lifted the sword up high. The asshole wasn’t just going to kill Teresa, he was going to fucking cleave her.

“Yes,” Teresa moaned. She could finally let go. Here was a jerk worthy of what she had been holding all night. This is the kind of stupid male evil that Teresa’s female ancestors had hated years ago. This was why they trained, fucked and fought. This was an evil that was around before cocaine, before there were white men and before the Aztecs came for their hearts.

She placed one hand on the crotch of her shorts and pushed against the soaking wet mess that was her cunt. The barest touch along with the permission inherent was all she needed.

Teresa finally climaxed from the sex she had with Nick earlier.

The orgasm exploded and then froze. The world turned purple. Time slowed down like a morning dry hump. Teresa felt bliss radiate through her body as the sexual energies flooded her body. Accompanying the bliss was an amazing feeling of power. This is why she fucked. This is why she fought. This was the point of sex: to use the power to make things right.

The guy was still charging at her but now he seemed ridiculously slow. Teresa casually dodged the swinging sword, the razor edge coming so close to her dark nipple but moving so slow that she was in no danger at all. She stepped to the side as he swung again, this time lifting her thigh a fraction of an inch to avoid the blade’s touch. The only sign that Teresa was exerting herself at all was the rapid breathing that escaped her lips; it was the gasp of a woman caught in a minute long orgasm.

She struck out. She didn’t bother to disarm him. Teresa landed a kiss on his lips with the full force of her fist. His entire body shook with the impact and the sword wobbled in his hands like spent cock. Surprise blossomed on his face. Theirs eyes locked on one another with an intimacy greater than lovers.

Teresa struck him in the chest. She hit him with so much force that his body shivered in spasms. He fell back moaning in pain and Teresa followed him moaning in triumph. The sword fell between them and Teresa kicked it away without even thinking. He took a step back and she shattered a rib. He stumbled and she drove her knee right into crotch. She couldn’t help but notice how hard his cock felt against her knee. Her mouth opened sensually as she broke a second rib and then a third. When he fell to the ground, Teresa landed on top of him. She straddled his groaning body as she continued to shower his body with loving blows from her fist.

The lust was upon her. Her eyes were half closed with pleasure as she pummeled the man. She had to touch him, had to feel his skin on her body and she had to feel him tremble between her thighs as she made every inch of his body hurt. Her pussy clenched with every punch. Her breasts bounced with every swing of her arm. Her thighs clenched with every groan she heard. She broke him down with the care that only a woman could give.

In short, she fucked him up.

Like all orgasms, this one couldn’t last forever. Slowly the world shifted from purple back to normal. Time returned to normal and Teresa’s arms became heavy with exhaustion. The heat of her cunt faded into the smolder of spent sex. The sweat that covered her body no longer felt sexy. Now it just made her feel sticky.

She stood up on shaky legs. The gang leader was unconscious but still alive. His whores whimpered in terror. Teresa shook her head. The job that she had been paid to do was done, but now came the really important part.

“You,” she said to the still cowering women. “Tell your pimps, your molesting fathers and your bastard children about this. Tell them to quit peddling drugs. Tell them to go to church and respect their mothers. Tell them to act like they were born with some damn sense.”

The women looked at her. Teresa could see their confusion. Here was this topless woman telling them to stand up to their men. She was beautiful and yet she was not a victim. That was hard to understand. Teresa remembered the words of her grandmother who said it better.

“Tell them that if they don’t behave, a woman will come and kick their ass.”

Pop Quiz!

Trying to blog while your spouse is on vacation is-

a. a noble attempt at serving the readers.

b. like trying to watch porn while Scarlet Johanson is tied up in your bedroom right now.

c. doomed to failure.

d. All of the above.

Please show your work. And Ms. DD? See me after class.

Super-Size

I watched 'Smoking Aces' last week. The movie premise was pure gold to me. A bunch of interesting, all unique hitmen go after one poor bastard who is just as interesting. It'll be one big giant character collision where they will interact and bounce off one another. I had to see this movie.

What I got was the story equivalent of a dozen drive-by killings. Interesting hitmen collided in ten second barrages of bullets. At some point the movie makes a big point of how life fucks you over for no reason, and then reinforces it five more times with five more pointless deaths but I thought the point was best served by how I felt fucked over by the movie for not living up to it's premise.

It reminded me of my disappointment with 'Ocean's Eleven'. I love the actors in it but we barely get any time with them except for the main three or four. I remember ummm, Chinese acrobat guy and umm, there were some brothers, and ummmm, a funny guy? It's a movie that teases the audience with eleven great actors playing eleven great potential characters but instead it turns into eleven cameos.

Being an egotistical writer, I thought I could do a much better version of Ocean's Eleven. It would be the porn version but that's all right cause I do porn fairly well. I'd gather eleven great characters and they would fuck, alot. Since I was doing a long story on the Internet, I wouldn't have a two hour time limit that forces me to only give five minutes to Chinese acrobat guy. It would rock.

A funny thing happened to the porn story; I realized I needed a plot. And that is when all Hell broke loose.

Sure, I could do a porn parody of 'Ocean's Eleven'. The movie was a heist movie super-sized to have eleven crooks. The porn equivalent would be a heist story with sex. I started to plot it out when it occurred to me that all this heist plot was a distraction from the eleven great characters I had in mind. That got me thinking about the fact that 'Ocean's Eleven' works because it is a regular plot who all know, the heist, except it is enlarged to epic proportions. What I needed to do was come up with a porn plot, and super-size it.

Take what is perhaps my favorite novel of all time, 'And Then There Was None', by Agatha Christie. Ten strangers meet on a secluded island and are killed one by one by one of their own number. Ten really neat characters interact and coincidently, die in the order of least interesting to most interesting. What makes it great is that it is a mystery plot, super-sized and self contained. We have ten suspects and nine victims. At the very core is just a typical mystery, except we have it times ten: nine crimes to solve and one killer to figure out. It fascinated me when I was six, it fascinates me now when I am 34.

Porn on the other hand doesn't have it's own unique to itself plots. Let's ignore typical porn movies which I define as 'We need six sex scenes and I don' care how you contrive it'. Let's stick to porn literature or porn movies that aspired to plots. Once you cut out the straight satires, that only leaves two kinds of real plots by my count-

1. Coming of Slut story- Stories in which a character grows as a sexual being. This is 99% of all BDSM plots. The story is character driven where the slut starts off either virginal or frustrated and through an escalating sequence of events, becomes a fully awakened sexual being.

2. Picaresque- I am probably using the term wrong, but these are stories where one character travels around, falling in and out of sexual adventures. The main character using gets laid through either their beauty, or their cunning rogue ways. This is actually more common in movies that attempt a plot. Stories that try this are more likely to fall into the Mary Sue trap I have found.

And that is where I am now. I'm thinking of more common porn plots that don't fit into those categories. Neither of those two lend well for a super-size version, though it amuses me that BDSM Beach did. At this point it's become more of a challenge than a desire to write. I will most likely default to a porn parody if I do write my super-size story but right now I feel like there is too good of an opportunity to do something unique. If only I could figure out what a super-size porn story would look like.

Crawl

Strip down your clothes. Take off your responsibilities. Slip out of your fears. Peel off your commitments. Remove everything and crawl to me.

Crawl across the floor. Drop to your hands and knees and leave the person you were behind. Stop being who you were and who you were afraid to be. Crawl to me as the person you want to be. Crawl to me as my very good pet.

Crawl to me with your hair down. Feel your hips sway with every move. Feel your breasts swing side to side. Feel the heat surge between your thighs. Crawl across the floor with a smile on your face.

Crawl to me.

Review: Crooked Little Vein

'Crooked Little Vein' is a first time novel from the long time comic writer, Warren Ellis. This breezy story is about a private investigator, Michael McGill, hired by the United States government to retrieve a secret constitution written on alien skin by Ben Franklin. Michael's sole claim to fame as an investigator is that he is a shit magnet. Without even trying he runs into the weirdest, most depraved, crazy shit out there. Quite frankly, that's all you really want in a narrator, isn't it?

The book is a wild journey through the strange perversions of the Internet which is both it's greatest strength and it's weakness. I was genuinely shocked by how unshocked I was at this cavalcade of fucked up people. Maybe the Internet has turned me into one of the jaded weirdos who resides in this book, but everytime the narrator talks about how out there and bizarre a particular incident is, I couldn't help thinking that I had seen worse. Don't get me wrong, I could have gone my whole life without the concept of Godzilla bukkake but such an idea has the feel of something I might have skipped on Fleshbot.

The romantic interest is a better example of what I mean. She's a hot young thing with an open mind. The complication? She's poly. Oh noes! Poor Michael has to deal with the fact that the girl he likes bangs other men! Now I know in the mainstream this is a very real solid problem, but to sex blogger me, this feels like a complication on the magnitude of dating someone who's a vegetarian. Get over it already.

I did enjoy the book for it's sheer fun value. Michael McGill is a shit magnet of the highest caliber which means every single character he meets has some bizarre quality worth getting to know. There is no dead weight in this novel making it a very fast and fun read. There is also a very human empathy that runs through the whole book that sparks a bit of sympathy for even the worse villains. While reading a catalog of perversions, it's nice to be reminded that they are all just people.