Friday, April 26, 2013

Dirty Books: Star Wench

Star Wench by Anna Anthropy is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style book that details the heroic Star Wench trying to take down the highly erotic and highly dominant Queen of Space.

You have no chance of success however. In fact, instead of the usual complex decision trees of other COYA books, Anna Anthropy skips all of that and gives you ONE choice: Pick a page, and see how you will die. Every death will be sexy, grim and hilarious.

I'm pretty impressed with this approach. Most COYA books focus on empowering the reader or challenging them until they find the right solution. Star Wench has no interest in empowering the reader. This is an exercise in narrative domination. This is placing the reader in an ultimately submissive role. Your character will die, over and over again. Success is judged solely on whether you are killed by the Queen of Space herself instead of one of her many flunkies. This is purity.

Now that you know that you will die, just how fun are the deaths? They are pretty damn fun in my opinion. The Queen of Space is a terrible tyrant with a thousand kinks. A sense of Flash Gordon silliness pervades everything. You are never simply killed by a laser beam. Instead, you, and the planet you are standing on are killed by orbital lasers. Nudity, bondage and groping are frequent themes. Each choice is a mini-story that could easily be a full short story on their own.

If you love my character Erishella, then you have to get this book. I am insanely jealous that I didn't think of it first.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers




Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Fiction: Lighthouses of Pleasure

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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Hitting Level 40

I am 40 years old today. Holy crap.

In honor of my 40th birthday, I will share all of my accumulated wisdom so that younger people will not suffer as I have but because you are younger, you won't listen to my advice because you know everything.

1. Love the things/people/music/tv/books that you love. Seriously. If you love something or someone, then love it without shame, guilt or hesitation.

2. Make yourself happy because no one else will fucking do it. Maybe because I had an alcoholic step-father, or a severely codependent first marriage, but I spent an awful long amount of time waiting for loved ones to make me happy. Fuck that. Figure out what makes you happy and then do it. Life will be so much better.

3. Be nice. I don't know any other act that makes you feel better and makes the world better.

Also in honor of my birthday, my favorite song about birthdays.



And my second favorite songs about birthdays


Monday, April 22, 2013

The My-Sheba's Card

Sheba’s is proud to announce the My-Sheba’s card for our frequent eaters. We know you love our topless employees in the kitchen, our thigh pressed hamburger patties and our cashiers who are always willing to make you happy so we thought we create a program that rewards you for your patronage.

The My-Sheba’s card tracks your purchases and enters it into our comprehensive database. This lets Sheba’s keep a loving eye on your eating habits as well as remembering your special orders. Just swipe your card on the cashier electronic bra and it will pull up your preferred special orders, your previous purchases and whether or not you do want fries with that.

But that’s not all! Check out these other benefits of the My-Sheba’s card.

Buy five Sheba’s meals and get your sixth meal for free!

Buy ten Sheba’s meals and your eleventh meal is a free salad! Because Sheba wants you to be healthy and stick around for more meals.

Buy fifteen Sheba’s meals and you get a lapdance from a Sheba’s employee!

Buy thirty Sheba’s meals and you get a pair of panties from a Sheba’s employee!

Buy fifty Sheba’s meals and a Sheba’s team of topless chefs will come to your house and prepare a meal in your own kitchen! We’re not saying that an orgy will break out, but who knows? Actually, we are pretty sure that an orgy will not break out but feel free to fantasize about one.


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Fiction: The Hand That Saves

The phone rang and my cock throbbed. I was being summoned once more.

My stomach growled and I thought of the chicken in the oven. Two days of marinating and two hours of wonderful smells was about to go to waste. Sometimes I am not sure if the Invisible Collar understood the sacrifices of its servants.

I took out my phone and looked for the message. There was no message this time; it was an actual person calling me. That was different.

“Hello,” I said.

“The Invisible Collar protects the worthy,” a voice said. It was a woman’s voice. Slightly Southern but formal.

“The Invisible Collar chokes the unworthy,” I answered.

“We have a situation,” Voice said. “This is a Rescue operation.”

That explained the shortened protocol. The Invisible Collar didn’t mind making their members repeat endless vows. I turned off the oven. My stomach had stopped growling. My cock grew harder.

“What do we know?” I said. I plugged in the earpiece for my phone. I put on my boots and laced them. 

“Not much,” the Voice said. “Kelly is a submissive with the Invisible Collar. She has been a member for eight months. She activated her panic button two minutes ago. She is not on any scheduled activity.”

“So she’s playing with someone outside the Collar,” I said.

“Or someone that is in the Collar but hasn’t registered this activity,” Voice said.

I shook my head and realized she couldn’t see me. “An eight month initiate might be that dumb, but not anyone else. Have you tried calling her?”

“Yes, and there was no answer,” Voice said. It was actually a stupid question on my part. It was part of protocol to call but I just double checking. I appreciated that Voice didn’t mind me asking. We were going to work well together.

“The GPS tracker says she is on Peachburn street. Do you know it?”

“No,” I said. I opened the closet. I had nine bags prepared for special occasions. I took the red bag and carried it out the door.

“I’ll give you directions,” she said.

My hands shook as I put the key in the ignition. I smiled. I wasn’t nervous. I was damn excited.

Voice told me where to go and I went. She spoke only as needed. I appreciated that. I needed the quiet. My mind was trying to focus on the job at hand and my cock wasn’t helping. Rescues were tricky, hard and dangerous. They had to be done right.

I arrived outside a house in a decent neighborhood. My hands pulled what I needed out of the bag and clipped them to my belt. I hesitated as I realized that I hadn’t done any stretching and I dismissed it, there was no time now. I’d pay for it later.

I scanned the nearby houses out of habit. Today was the rare day that I didn’t need to worry about witnesses. The Invisible Collar had lawyers on retainer for operations like these. It was one of the few times that I didn’t have to hide what I did. It felt good. In fact, I wish more people were watching.

“I’m going in,” I told Voice.

“May the Invisible Collar guide you,” Voice said.

I walked up to the front door and knocked. My fist punched the door fast and angry. I kept punching the door until I got an answer.

The door swung open. The man standing there was thirty something. He had the stylish hair and black goatee that was so popular among the fetish crowd these days. He was only wearing pants and that was to show off his rather good physique.

“What the fuck do you want?” he yelled.

I answered him by punching him in the nose. The satisfying crunch of cartilage sent shivers down my spine and right into my ball sack. He fell backwards and clutched his face. Blood leaked from his hands.

I stepped into his house. That was when I saw two other guys in the living room. They were big. Both had their shirts off. Both were in better shape than me.

“Fuck,” I said.

They mistook it for weakness. One of them grabbed a bat and ran at me. I briefly wondered why they had a bat in the living room. My hand went to my belt and I grabbed the pepper spray.

A six foot stream of stinging pain flew through the air. It struck Bat-Guy in the face and he screamed. Oh my God, that scream was the most delicious thing I have heard in ages. If my cock was in a mouth, I would have come right then.

Bat-Guy stumbled back and crashed into a lamp. He rolled on the ground and kept screaming.

Other-Guy was standing but he wasn’t coming any closer.

“Stay back, asshole!” he said.

Pepper spray in hand, I moved quickly to him. He held up his hands to protect his face and I kicked him in the knee. The steel toe boot fucked him up good. He went down and I kept kicking. Joy radiated through every fiber of my being.

“You’re on a rescue mission,” Voice said.

My foot stopped in mid stomp. She was right. 

“Where’s Kelly?” I asked. He wasn’t going to answer but I liked to have another excuse to hit him.

He didn’t answer. I smiled and kicked again.

“Kelly!” I roared. “Help is here!”

“Who are you?” a woman’s voice yelled out. It was from down the hall.

I crossed the living room. Broken Nose started to get up and I brought my elbow down hard in his shoulder. He went back down to the ground.

“Who the fuck do you think it is?” I yelled.

“The Invisible Collar heard your plea,” Voice said softly in my ear.

I felt a flush of shame. I was forgetting protocol. The joy of hurting people had made me sloppy like a first year initiate. 

“The Invisible Collar heard your plea,” I said. I went down the hall. There was a closed door with a light on. I could see scuff marks on the door where someone had been kicking it. Wimps. I bet I could kick that door in with one kick.

“The Invisible Collar knows our thoughts,” Kelly said from the other side of the door.

“The Invisible Collar knows our needs,” I answered. It was the first protocol we all learn.

I heard something heavy get moved away from the door. The door opened and a pretty black girl came out. Tears had made a mess of her makeup. She was wearing a cheap tacky teddy. She was clutching her necklace like it was a talisman. I figured that was where they put the panic device.

“Let’s go,” I said. “Do we need to get anything?”

“My purse, and my clothes,” Kelly said. “I left them in the living room.”

“We don’t have time for you to change. Just grab them and come with me.”

Broken Nose was back on his feet. He had the bat in his hand. Other-Guy was still down and Bat-Guy was still crying.

“Who the fuck are you?” Broken Nose said.

I still had the pepper-spray. I also had a Tazer. I even had a collapsing baton that I could have used to even the odds. I didn’t use any of them. My cock was hard and I wanted something more physical.

I charged him. He swung the bat and hit me in the side. The pain was intense but fuck, I was high on endorphins.

I tackled him to the ground. He might have been stronger but I was meaner. I also didn’t have a broken nose. We flailed at each other but after a minute, I was the only one still punching.

I got up. There was a lot of blood on me.   

“Oh my God,” Kelly said. She had her hands full with her clothes.

“Asshole shouldn’t have fucked with you,” I said.

She didn’t answer. It must have been shock. I took her by the arm and led her outside.  She might as well have been naked considering how transparent her little teddy was but she didn’t care. I got her into my car and we drove out of there.

“Bring her to Justine House,” Voice said. “Do you know where it is?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’ve played there a few times. I’ll come right over.”

“Alex was so nice at the club,” Kelly said. “I thought it would be fun to play with him at his house but after I got there, these other guys showed up and he expected me to play with them too.”

“Shh,” I said. “It’s alright. You don’t have to explain anything to me.” Which was true. Kinky people are like anyone else; some of them are giant assholes. Besides, Voice had probably already assembled a team that would consist of a therapist, a doctor and a lawyer. Kelly didn’t have to tell me her story because she was going to tell her story a dozen times during her debriefing with the Invisible Collar. I was just the rescue muscle.

We got to Justine House. I helped Kelly through the back door. A woman was there, tall with black hair streaked with gray. Next to her was a friendly Indian woman who radiated warmth and care. As soon as the tall woman opened her mouth, I knew she was Voice.

“Kelly, I am so sorry about what happened to you,” she said. “This Nadine, she’s going to help you get dressed and help you out.”

Kelly nodded and let Nadine take her by the arm. The two went down the hall to private areas. She was in good hands. My task was officially over.

“Shouldn’t you go with her?” I asked. My heart was still pounding. Civility was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to go home and come down from this violence high.

She shook her head. “I am tasked with taking care of both of you. Kelly is in expert hands. She will be fine. I am more worried about you. How are you doing?

I had a vision of forcing her to her knees. I shook my head and shrugged. “I’m sore. I got hit with a bat and I am starting to feel it. I just need to put some ice on and lie down. Other than that, I’m good.”

She looked at me and I could tell she wasn’t buying it. “That’s not what I meant. You hurt people today. You did the Invisible Collar a great service but it was a service you obviously enjoy doing. I am asking you, as one servant to another, how are you?”

“Horny,” I said. There was a growl to my voice.

She stepped closer. She was a thin woman, thinner than I usually liked but there was a frailty to her body that was giving me new fantasies. It would be nothing to throw her over my shoulder and carry her back home.

She came even closer. I looked down into her steel blue eyes. She wasn’t flinching. 

“What do you need?” she asked.

I grabbed her hair and kissed her. Among our people, kissing was the most intimate act. I was breaking all sorts of rules of courtesy and etiquette but kissing her but I didn’t care.

I also wasn’t doing that good of a job of kissing her. I was just taking her mouth. I was assaulting her tongue with my tongue. I was stealing her breath. I was bruising her with my lips. It felt awesome.

When I had drunk my fill of her lips, I pulled at her pants. She was wearing jeans and I debated cutting them from her body. There was no time. I yanked her pants down. She struggled to stay on her feet as I pulled them from each leg. It wasn’t gentle or graceful at all.

She was wearing red panties. “Take them off,” I growled.

Voice obeyed. There was no fear in her eyes. A thrill ran through me as she slipped them off.

I pulled my pants off in a second. My cock was an angry monster between my legs. It was another weapon waiting to be used.

There are rooms in the dungeon that I could have taken her. There were several bedrooms. There were plenty of spanking benches. I didn’t want any of them.

I lunged for her. Voice cried out as I picked her off the ground and slammed her against a wall. She was so tall but light. I lowered her onto my cock.

I was not surprised to find her sex wet and ready for me.

Our bodies collided on the wall. It wasn’t convenient but my body refused to compromise. I fucked her against the wall with all the violence in my heart.

Voice took it. She took my animal thrusts. She took my savage kisses. She took my pawing hands on her tender body.

She reached around and grabbed my ass. She pulled me deeper into her sex. It was an invitation to hold nothing back.

Any other day, I would have fallen for her. This was not one of those days. I was filled with aggression. I was furious with lust. I had hurt people today for a righteous cause and now I was fucking someone for a selfish cause.

We fucked against the wall. I growled while she moaned. I thrust while she received.

I remembered the splash of blood when I broke that guy’s nose. I smiled at the thought of the guy screaming from the pepper spray. I throbbed in her sex as I remembered the feeling of my boot coming down on the third guy.

I fucked her faster. The hallway echoed with the force of my thrusts. I wondered what I would do if anyone were to walk into this hallway. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t stop.

It didn’t take me long at all. I shouted as I climaxed and I shouted as I kept coming. 

My seed went up her sex and so did the last of my adrenalin. I felt a tremendous release of tension all of my body. It was followed quickly by exhaustion and an ache in my side from the bat. The switch that had been keeping me going was finally turned off. I felt human again.

I gently set her down on the ground. She smiled knowingly at me as I slipped out of her. Bruises were already appearing on her body.

Voice didn’t ask me if I was feeling better. She didn’t ask if I got what I needed. She knew. She patted me on the shoulder and gathered her clothes. I watched her go through the door that Kelly went earlier. I was dismissed.

I should have proposed to her right there. That was someone who understood me. Then again, that was what the Invisible Collar did. They gathered people together. They gathered them to play, to fuck, to help and to guide. And sometimes, they gather people like me to attack, fight and destroy.

That was what I do.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Dirty Books: Like Sugar

Like Sugar is an ebook by Joan Defers. It is about a college professor who hates life, himself and all of his students. He spends most of his time having sex fantasies about the hot students in his class. One of his non-hot students approaches him and makes an d/s proposal in exchange for skipping some lab work. Sexiness ensues.

From that description, you think you know the story. It is a powerful cliche. It has thousands if competitors on Amazon alone. You would be wrong though. What makes Like Sugar so much better than most teacher/student porn is that Like Sugar has the best written characters I have seen in a long time. The professor is a depressed asshole. The student is a smart secretive girl who knows more about power than he does. Both characters are funny, intelligent and most of all, believable. They have power exchange sex, but it is just as awkward, stumbling and hot as real life sex.

Ages ago I realized that my favorite porn stories were interesting characters doing interesting things. Like Sugar fits that perfectly. This is a coming-of-dom story where the dom is an asshole and that is not the positive trait that it is treated as in other d/s fiction. The actual d/s is interesting and aroused even my jaded mind. The student is a complicated woman who is too good for this and she knows it but it is all according to her goals.

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers.

 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Blog Interrupted

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Wednesday, April 03, 2013

Fiction: Choke and Moan

Explorer’s Log: I am on day one hundred of my nine month voyage to the star system designated “Queen’s Deadly Beauty” by Royal Astronomers. Although it wasn’t scheduled for another three months, I went ahead and did a complete preventative maintenance check on the Deep Space Probe. All systems are currently working at 104% efficiency. End Explorer’s Log.

Explorer’s Personal Log: After recording one hundred videos of myself masturbating I am officially sick of seeing my own face. I have a new sex game for today. If it all works right, it won’t kill me.


Vaquel Di stood naked in hallway that ran the length of the Deep Space Probe. Her dark brown body was freshly clean from an hour in the Hygienic Pod. Her full breasts jiggled lightly in the reduced gravity of the ship. Moisture still clung to the short pink hair of Vaquel’s head and also to the thick bush of pink pubic hair over her sex.

She adjusted the vibrator in her hand. Technically it was one of the micro-probes that the ship used to burrow into the crust of planets and take scans but she had modified it. Gone were the scanners and in their place was a rather powerful vibration machine. She had hand crafted the mechanics through trial, error and orgasm.

Vaquel turned the vibrator on and put it at the lips of her sex. The powerful vibrations brought a smile to her lips and a tingling to her nipples. She pushed it in; groaning as the modified micro-probe shook within her.

Now she was ready.

She took a deep breath and let it out. Across from her was one of her weapons. The Strangler Gun was mounted on rigged chair with a voice trigger. It was pointed right at her.

“Computer, activate Vaquel Program Choke,” she said.

The Strangler Gun fired. A solid weight hit Vaquel right in the chest with bruising force. She stumbled back and bent over.

“Fuck!” Vaquel cried out.

A second later, the mass exploded. Green fibers erupted around her. Tiny bands of synthetic material wrapped around her body. Coils wrapped around her large breasts and squeezed. Tight strands wrapped around her face leaving only one eye open to see her plight.

Vaquel stumbled again but the bands were already wrapping around her legs. Vaquel tried to use her hands to grab onto something but her arms were quickly constricted and pulled into her body. Even her toes were bound as fibers wrapped around her feet.

Vaquel fell over. The green fibers bound her tightly. She hit the ground hard and the vibrator shook within her.

“Fuck, yeah,” Vaquel moaned. Her moan turned into a choking gasp as the fibers tightened around her throat.

She suppressed a laugh. The Strangler Gun worked exactly as the manual said. The fibers reacted to motion by tightening. The fibers reacted to pressure by tightening. The fibers reacted to heat and cold by tightening. It was a weapon of subdual but it was also a weapon that was willing to kill those too defiant to lay still.

The vibrator increased in intensity. She rubbed her thighs together instinctively without thinking. The green fibers constricted tighter. Lines of pain blossomed across her skin as the fibers bit into her flesh.

Vaquel had programmed the micro-probe to escalate vibrations on a scaled time release. It was part of the fun. It was also part of the danger.

She looked up at the ceiling. A canister of Strangle-Solvent dangled above. Vaquel had rigged a timer to release the life-saving contents in five minutes. If everything worked okay, she solvent would spill and dissolve the green fibers.

If it didn’t work, she would be one dead explorer.

Vaquel’s sex clenched. The danger was incredibly arousing. A hundred days alone in space had driven her to this. She had been bored. She has been so bored that even masturbation had lost its appeal. It demanded drastic measures.

The vibrator increased in force and Vaquel bit her lip to keep from moaning. Her sex was drenched in desire. The fibers were squeezing her tits painfully hard and it added to her desire. Some of the coils were wrapped tight against her sex. One particular fiber was wonderfully tight across her clitoris. When the fibers tightened, it pulled deliciously against her sensitive nub of flesh.

Vaquel didn’t have a clock. She wasn’t sure how much time has passed while she was bound on the floor. There was no telling of she was close to being saved or far from it.

That just left enjoying the moment. Vaquel willed her body to be as still as possible while the relentless micro-probe cycled into stronger vibrations. No matter how much she was quivering on the outside, she couldn’t afford to let her body respond on the outside.

It was terribly erotic. She wanted to moan. She wanted to squirm on the floor of the ship. She wanted hump something even if it was just the air. Instead, she had to be perfectly still as the micro-probe ravished her body.

Vaquel felt her orgasm building. She had to stifle it. The fibers were too tight. She couldn’t survive any more agitation. The explorer had to reach deep down inside herself and somehow stop this orgasm.

It was useless. Vaquel clamped her mouth shut as her body gave in. The bliss of the orgasm rippled through her body faster than the Strangler Gun had bound her. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t stop the shaking that spread through her body.

The fibers reacted. Tighter and tighter they pulled. Vaquel’s large breasts were crushed under the unforgiving fibers. Coils dug deeper into her round ass. Hundreds of little strands squeezed her legs, arms and torso. Cruel fibers tightened around her throat.

Vaquel climaxed again. The squeezing pulled her body tighter around the vibrator. The thin fibers dug into her flesh with the cruelty of a swinging crop.

Vaquel climaxed a third time within seconds. This time, a cry of pleasure forced its way out of her lips. The fibers squeezed even tighter, as if personally angry at her inability to control herself.

Stars exploded in front of Vaquel’s eyes. She couldn’t breathe. This had been a mistake. This was too dangerous. She was helpless.

The micro-probe’s vibrations grew stronger. Vaquel shook from head to toe. She surrendered to the pleasure and came again.

The world grew darker.

The world also grew wetter. A splash of fluid hit Vaquel’s body from above. She jumped from the shock of the cold liquid and was surprised to feel her arms come free. The vice around her throat relented and Vaquel sucked in as much air as she could.

The solvent had been released. She was free again.

Vaquel laughed. She had survived. She removed the micro-probe and turned it off. Her hands were decorated with imprints from the Strangler cords. She looked at the rest of her body. There were lines everywhere.

She smiled. It might be a day or two before the lines faded. That would be a day or two to remember how close to death and how immersed in pleasure she had been. That would be a day or two before she tried to the Strangler Gun again. Maybe this time she would use a micro-probe in her ass as well. Or maybe she would set the timer for the solvent for a little longer.

Vaquel laughed. Fuck waiting a day or two. She was going to set it up now.