Monday, February 16, 2009
The Cockman Sightings
The Cockman was sighted in rural parts of North Carolina between April 1971 and December 1973. Unlike the more popular Mothman sightings, the Cockman never achieved the same level of notoriety most likely due to the rather graphic nature of the creature. Newspapers and television shows couldn't find a way to relay the story without discussing the profane elements of the creature.
What is known about the Cockman is the work of one investigative freelance journalist, Jake Hillman. Mr. Hillman spent a year researching the sightings and interviewing witnesses. He had evidence that the Cockman may have been spotted in his home town of Fort Macon, Georgia during the 60's, which resulted in his sister becoming a stripper. After a month of research and an encounter with the mysterious Cockman, Mr. Hillman published his findings in the Septemeber 1975 issue of Omni.
The first Cockman sighting was made by two nurses, Heather Wilks and Michelle Desmond on April 19, 1971. They were driving home from the hospital and on a dark road, they saw a strange thing run out from the trees. They described the creature as "taller than a man but with a really big dong, like something a horse would be proud of. He was blue I think, and he didn't really have a face. He had a halo on his head, though. It wasn't a bright Halo like Jesus, more like a cheap halo you get if you buy your Jesus from the pharmacy."
The nurses stopped the car and the thing ran off. The nurses said they tried calling out to it but it wouldn't come back. After two hours of trying, they left.
They reported the sighting to the local sheriff's department. The authorities were greatly amused by the story and insisted on having Michelle sketch the creature. The Sheriff's department used to sketch to make a mock wanted poster for their bulletin board. The fake poster listed the creature as the Cockman.
The second sighting was made a month later by the Sherrif's wife. She saw the Cockman lurking outside her backyard, stroking it's massive member. She reported that she watched the creature masturbate for an hour before it left. She gave no credible reason for why she didn't call authorities sooner. Two weeks later she left the Sherrif and moved in Jeff, the car mechanic, for what most witnesses described as a very torrid affair that lasted twenty years.
At this point, Cockman sightings became more prolific. He was spotted up and down the New River, appearing to boaters and fishermen. Mostly he was sighted by women who reported watching the Cockman for hours but never seeing a reason to call police till after he left. Women also reported feelings of lust, dissatisfaction with life and a desire to get the fuck out of North Carolina. Men who spotted the Cockman reported feelings of inadequacy, depression and in some cases, uncomfortable arousal.
Jake Hillman's research discovered that most of the women who saw the Cockman radically changed their lives. Heather Wilks for example, left North Carolina and became the porn star, Dusty Whips. Michelle Desmond opened the first Sexual Aid store in Swansboro. Wendy Bower, a preacher's wife in Jacksonville, left her husband and became Ms. Wet T-shirt for Topsail Island for three years in a row. There were also occasional outbreaks of women wearing inappropriate short skirts and low attendances at several churches.
The Cockman sightings reached a fever pitch on December 6th, 1973, when he revealed himself to a Girl Scout troop in Richlands. At this point the local citizens were outraged and organized hunting parties to find the smart ass monster that so greatly inflated the expectations of impressionable female minds. The owner of a Piggly Wiggly offered a 500$ bounty for the creature as well as a year supply of Marlboro cigarettes.
The creature was never sighted officially again. Mr. Hillman claims that he saw the creature on January 20th in the woods near Holly Ridge. He said that the creature's signature cock was limp and dragging on the ground. He tried to take a picture of the Cockman but his camera refused to work. When he called out to the beast, it turned to him. The Cockman had no mouth but Mr. Hillman heard strange words in his head.
"I have come too early," Mr. Hillman heard in his head. "The Apocafuck is not ready yet."
Mr. Hillman reported that there was a burst of light and the Cockman was gone. He continued to monitor the local area for any more sightings or strange occurrences. Although the Cockman was never sighted again, the people he had flashed continued to live much more interesting lives.