Ladies, gentlemen and subscription podcast listeners. I am broadcasting from somewhere off the coast of South America. The voyage is going well and Captain Cleaver assures me that the Dirty Secret will reach Antarctica in a few weeks as long as we don’t have any more attacks.
I was hoping to conduct this podcast with our sex blogger, Naked-Heart, but she refuses to have anything to do with what she calls, “Patriarchal Studies.” Naked-Heart has also changed her blogger name to Velvet-Thighs. She is still a part of the expedition but she insists that she is keeping her own records that are “free of the taint of testicle bias.”
Personally, I blame Velvet-Thighs’ behavior on Dr. Vette. The young blogger has been spending all of her time with the cat biologist. The screams of pleasure I hear coming from their cabin when I put my ear to the door has led me to conclude that they are having a Sapphic tryst.
Anyway, the voyage has not been without the usual hiccups. We were briefly interrupted last week when Mexican Sex Robots tried to hijack our ship. Not many people know this, but Mexico created far too many beautiful sexy female robots back in the 70’s in order to create the commercially successful Donkey Shows of that period. You don’t think real women were having sex with donkeys, do you? No, they were all sex robots.
With the collapse of the Donkey Show tourist bubble in 1983, most of the Mexican Sex Robots went rogue. Some started strip clubs posing as vampires but quite a few became pirates. We were attacked by such a band of sexy robot pirates last week. The screaming Hispanic beauties with giant tits and high stress bodies were pretty fearsome but out own crew of reformed Somalian pirates beat them off quite easily.
We didn’t have any casualties except that Professor Banwitz was critically injured. He tried to get some measurements from the anal cavity of what we thought was a defunct sex robot but alas, the robot’s sphincter was still active and it crushed his hand. Professor Banwitz was screaming that we take him to a hospital but we wisely refused his requests. The voyage must go on!
In other news, Mr. Xavier has been training us all in the art of Antarctic explorations. He has turned the Water Sports room of the Dirty Secret into a pseudo Antarctic environment but turning the air conditioner all the way down. He insists that we train butt-naked in the chilly 50 degree room to prepare ourselves for the cold.
Some of the other expedition members think this is bullshit but personally I think that there is some merit to his methods. For example, I have discovered that Dr. Nagi has the loveliest looking pussy hairs that I have ever seen.
That is all the time I have for now. It is my turn to be on lookout duty for any more Mexican Sex Robot pirates.
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Friday, June 29, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Fiction: Guest Accommodations
Explorer’s Log: I have spent six days with the Mur, the dominant intelligent species in the star system designated Soft Moan of the Queen by Royal Astronomers. The Mur are a race that prize scientific achievement above all other things. They pose no threat to the Queen and they are likely to provide many advances in science and philosophy under proper negotiations.
I have spent six days as their guest and they have shown me every courtesy. They stand at twice my height and yet have a gentle nature about them. I have been taken on tours of their finest museums, research laboratories and debate coliseums. I have been given luxurious quarters and as much food and music as I can gorge myself on. I shall spend two more days here before moving on. End Explorer’s Log
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck me with a comet, I am so damn bored. Six days here and not a single one of these Mur have tried to fuck me. If I don’t get laid soon, I am going to recommend a Class Four Humiliation Conquest on these lanky assholes.
Vaquel Di took the hand of the Mur scientists and placed it directly on her brown breast. She was wearing the traditional Euphorian casual wear, which was a thong and push up bra. She pressed the Mur’s fingers against her buoyant breast.
“Doesn’t that feel nice?” Vaquel said. “I’ve seen the breasts on your fems. I may only have two instead of their three, but mine are much larger.”
The Mur licked his lips with his three tongues. His name was Qu-ee and he was her primary contact for his species. He was some sort of biologist and science politician. He was a nice guy and Vaquel really wanted to fuck his face and feel all three of his tongues inside her.
“Va-quel, please!” Qe-ee said. He tried to pull his fingers away but Vaquel held onto them. “I shouldn’t touch you without at least observing the seven rites of decontamination, much less touching your fleshy parts!”
“You should only touch her breasts with a regulation distance probe!” We-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s brother and assistant.
“And only then with three observers to maintain scientific purity!” Ee-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s other brother and assistant. The Mur felt siblings were very important to efficiency.
“Don’t we have enough observers now?” Vaquel asked. She pointed at the glass panels in the ceiling of her quarters. A dozen Mur scientists stood above the ceiling looking down. All of them were taking notes. Vaquel hadn’t complained when she first saw the scientists a week ago because after months of being alone, she found the constant observation to be kind of nice.
“Please let go, Va-quel,” Qe-ee said. “If contact is prolonged, I might lose the next election!”
“What is with you guys?” Vaquel yelled. She pushed Qu-ee’s hand away. The frantic scientist pulled out a spray bottle and disinfected his hand.
“I don’t get you guys at all,” Vaquel said. “I met three Mur orbiting a gas planet and they fucked me in less than five minutes. Not a single one of you fucks have even groped me!”
“Those were low citizens!” We-ee said. “That is why they were on a mining station. Their low test scores, lack of fealty to testing procedure and blatant disregard for scientific purity makes them good candidates for remote missions!”
Ee-ee nodded frantically. “They shouldn’t have had intimate relationships with you at all! That is how germ hybridization starts!”
Vaquel sighed. “Look, I need to fuck, okay? I travel alone and all my dildoes are getting old. I need to get laid. I’m sure you can find some way to get one of your Mur, or several Mur, to fuck me and call it a science experiment. Right? You’re smart guys, help me out.”
The Mur looked down on her. Qe-ee sprayed his other hand with disinfectant for good measure. As he washed his hand, he kept staring at her bountiful dark breasts.
“Your species appears to have a high sexual drive,” Qe-ee said. “That would explain your vulgarity and forwardness.”
“Such a high sexual drive might be unhealthy to frustrate,” We-ee said. “We could be risking harm to her by denying her pleasure.”
Ee-ee almost reached down to touch her breast before stopping himself. “Making sure Va-quel achieve sexual satisfaction is the only humane thing to do.”
Vaquel nodded. “What he said. Fuck me for my own good.”
The three Mur smiled. Vaquel smiled. She had them! Praise the Queen!
“Come brothers!” Qe-ee said. “Let’s go form an exploratory committee!”
The Mur left in a hurry. Vaquel stared at them and growled.
“Make that a Class Five Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “With Castration Camps.”
An hour later, three Mur that Vaquel didn’t recognize came into the room. They carried a heavy object between the three of them. It was a ball made of some sort of plush material. Several funnels projected from random sides. When she looked closer at it, the plush material seemed to be some sort of fur.
“You press this button,” one of the Mur said. All three rushed out of the room.
Vaquel looked up. There were a lot of scientists watching from the ceiling. She counted thirty at least. Only half of them were taking notes though. The other half seemed to just be leering.
She took a look at the fur ball. The funnels attracted her attention. They wear soft to the touch. When she pressed down on one, a little fluid appeared. She rubbed her fingers together and noted how slippery it was.
A smile broke across her face. Was this a Mur sex toy? She would prefer a real cock but hey, this will do nicely.
Vaquel pressed the button. Nothing happened. The scientists above her watched intently. For one brief moment she worried that this was some sort of intelligence test and she was the one being tested.
“Fuck it,” Vaquel said. She didn’t need fancy gizmos to get off. All she needed was a soft place to rub and she was good to go. Vaquel wiggled out of her thong and tossed it aside. She straddled the furball and lowered herself on one of the funnels. The funnel molded against the pink bush of her pubic hair. At least part didn’t need a button.
Vaquel moved her hips and pressed her sex against the funnel. It was nice, but not quite stimulating enough. In annoyance, she tried the button again. This time there was a hum of motors and the ball lifted six feet in the air.
“Queen’s tits!” Vaquel cried. Her space explorer training kicked in and her thighs tightened around the ball. She kept her balance as the ball bounced slowly in the air.
“This would be just about crotch height on a Mur,” Vaquel said out loud. She wanted to scientists to know she was smarter than she looked.
She forgot about the scientists as the funnel came to life. What felt like multiple tongues began licking at her sex. They licked at her rapidly as if she had an entire Navy squadron between her legs.
“Yes!” Vaquel cried out. This is what she needed. She grabbed two tufts of fur with her hands and held on.
The tongues vibrated and Vaquel tossed her head back in delight. She looked up at the Mur scientists watching her. Thirty males and females of that frigid species watched her with inquisitive eyes.
“Like what you see?” Vaquel said. She stripped off her bra and tossed it aside. She grabbed her brown breasts and squeezed. Her fingers sank into her soft flesh as she showed them what they were missing.
The ball bounced slowly in the air while Vaquel held on with her thighs. The funnel vibrated as the mechanical tongues licked at her sex. The funnel edges moved and nibbled in a close approximation of a real mouth. Unlike a real mouth, this one never had to come up for air.
“Fuck me,” Vaquel cried. She leaned back on the floating ball so the scientists could see better. She grabbed her nipples and pulled on them so the Mur could appreciate her large breasts. Some of the scientists had dropped their notes while one trio was on their knees.
The tongues moved away and Vaquel pouted. She looked for another button to press. Before she could find one, she felt something new touch her sex. It was long, thin and vibrated.
“Fuck me, you magnificent fur ball!” Vaquel cried. The thin rod penetrated her. It grew longer and longer until her cunt was completely filled. When she couldn’t take anymore, the rod moved back and forth like a passionate lover.
Vaquel laughed with pleasure. The top half of her body undulated on top of the fur ball. She threw every bit of her flexibility into it as she put on a show for the scientists. Those assholes needed to know what they were missing.
She felt something pressed against her ass. Vaquel turned around and saw one of the other funnels was snaking towards her anus. The funnel applied itself to her ass and she soon felt more tongues licking her asshole.
“You’re best species ever!” Vaquel yelled to the scientists. “Seriously, I love you guys!”
More of the Mur were on their hands and knees to watch. Quite a few had given up the pretense of taking notes. Vaquel was amazed by how many of their heads moved in perfect synchronicity with her tits.
The rod in her sex increased in speed. The vibrations grew stronger and the funnel produced more lubricant. The tongues on her ass were getting bolder and were opening her anus. The bottom half of Vaquel’s body was an orgy of sensation.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out. Her orgasm blossomed within her and she almost fell off the fur ball. After days of waiting to get laid, she had a lot of tension to release.
The tongues kept licking her ass while the rod gently eased out of her. The fur ball sank to the ground where Vaquel slid off the ball. She lay on the floor for a good five minutes and watched the frustrated scientists above her.
“Okay, maybe just a Class One Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “On second thought, if they don’t let me take this ball with me, it is Class Five for sure.”
I have spent six days as their guest and they have shown me every courtesy. They stand at twice my height and yet have a gentle nature about them. I have been taken on tours of their finest museums, research laboratories and debate coliseums. I have been given luxurious quarters and as much food and music as I can gorge myself on. I shall spend two more days here before moving on. End Explorer’s Log
Explorer’s Personal Log: Fuck me with a comet, I am so damn bored. Six days here and not a single one of these Mur have tried to fuck me. If I don’t get laid soon, I am going to recommend a Class Four Humiliation Conquest on these lanky assholes.
Vaquel Di took the hand of the Mur scientists and placed it directly on her brown breast. She was wearing the traditional Euphorian casual wear, which was a thong and push up bra. She pressed the Mur’s fingers against her buoyant breast.
“Doesn’t that feel nice?” Vaquel said. “I’ve seen the breasts on your fems. I may only have two instead of their three, but mine are much larger.”
The Mur licked his lips with his three tongues. His name was Qu-ee and he was her primary contact for his species. He was some sort of biologist and science politician. He was a nice guy and Vaquel really wanted to fuck his face and feel all three of his tongues inside her.
“Va-quel, please!” Qe-ee said. He tried to pull his fingers away but Vaquel held onto them. “I shouldn’t touch you without at least observing the seven rites of decontamination, much less touching your fleshy parts!”
“You should only touch her breasts with a regulation distance probe!” We-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s brother and assistant.
“And only then with three observers to maintain scientific purity!” Ee-ee said. He was Qu-ee’s other brother and assistant. The Mur felt siblings were very important to efficiency.
“Don’t we have enough observers now?” Vaquel asked. She pointed at the glass panels in the ceiling of her quarters. A dozen Mur scientists stood above the ceiling looking down. All of them were taking notes. Vaquel hadn’t complained when she first saw the scientists a week ago because after months of being alone, she found the constant observation to be kind of nice.
“Please let go, Va-quel,” Qe-ee said. “If contact is prolonged, I might lose the next election!”
“What is with you guys?” Vaquel yelled. She pushed Qu-ee’s hand away. The frantic scientist pulled out a spray bottle and disinfected his hand.
“I don’t get you guys at all,” Vaquel said. “I met three Mur orbiting a gas planet and they fucked me in less than five minutes. Not a single one of you fucks have even groped me!”
“Those were low citizens!” We-ee said. “That is why they were on a mining station. Their low test scores, lack of fealty to testing procedure and blatant disregard for scientific purity makes them good candidates for remote missions!”
Ee-ee nodded frantically. “They shouldn’t have had intimate relationships with you at all! That is how germ hybridization starts!”
Vaquel sighed. “Look, I need to fuck, okay? I travel alone and all my dildoes are getting old. I need to get laid. I’m sure you can find some way to get one of your Mur, or several Mur, to fuck me and call it a science experiment. Right? You’re smart guys, help me out.”
The Mur looked down on her. Qe-ee sprayed his other hand with disinfectant for good measure. As he washed his hand, he kept staring at her bountiful dark breasts.
“Your species appears to have a high sexual drive,” Qe-ee said. “That would explain your vulgarity and forwardness.”
“Such a high sexual drive might be unhealthy to frustrate,” We-ee said. “We could be risking harm to her by denying her pleasure.”
Ee-ee almost reached down to touch her breast before stopping himself. “Making sure Va-quel achieve sexual satisfaction is the only humane thing to do.”
Vaquel nodded. “What he said. Fuck me for my own good.”
The three Mur smiled. Vaquel smiled. She had them! Praise the Queen!
“Come brothers!” Qe-ee said. “Let’s go form an exploratory committee!”
The Mur left in a hurry. Vaquel stared at them and growled.
“Make that a Class Five Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “With Castration Camps.”
An hour later, three Mur that Vaquel didn’t recognize came into the room. They carried a heavy object between the three of them. It was a ball made of some sort of plush material. Several funnels projected from random sides. When she looked closer at it, the plush material seemed to be some sort of fur.
“You press this button,” one of the Mur said. All three rushed out of the room.
Vaquel looked up. There were a lot of scientists watching from the ceiling. She counted thirty at least. Only half of them were taking notes though. The other half seemed to just be leering.
She took a look at the fur ball. The funnels attracted her attention. They wear soft to the touch. When she pressed down on one, a little fluid appeared. She rubbed her fingers together and noted how slippery it was.
A smile broke across her face. Was this a Mur sex toy? She would prefer a real cock but hey, this will do nicely.
Vaquel pressed the button. Nothing happened. The scientists above her watched intently. For one brief moment she worried that this was some sort of intelligence test and she was the one being tested.
“Fuck it,” Vaquel said. She didn’t need fancy gizmos to get off. All she needed was a soft place to rub and she was good to go. Vaquel wiggled out of her thong and tossed it aside. She straddled the furball and lowered herself on one of the funnels. The funnel molded against the pink bush of her pubic hair. At least part didn’t need a button.
Vaquel moved her hips and pressed her sex against the funnel. It was nice, but not quite stimulating enough. In annoyance, she tried the button again. This time there was a hum of motors and the ball lifted six feet in the air.
“Queen’s tits!” Vaquel cried. Her space explorer training kicked in and her thighs tightened around the ball. She kept her balance as the ball bounced slowly in the air.
“This would be just about crotch height on a Mur,” Vaquel said out loud. She wanted to scientists to know she was smarter than she looked.
She forgot about the scientists as the funnel came to life. What felt like multiple tongues began licking at her sex. They licked at her rapidly as if she had an entire Navy squadron between her legs.
“Yes!” Vaquel cried out. This is what she needed. She grabbed two tufts of fur with her hands and held on.
The tongues vibrated and Vaquel tossed her head back in delight. She looked up at the Mur scientists watching her. Thirty males and females of that frigid species watched her with inquisitive eyes.
“Like what you see?” Vaquel said. She stripped off her bra and tossed it aside. She grabbed her brown breasts and squeezed. Her fingers sank into her soft flesh as she showed them what they were missing.
The ball bounced slowly in the air while Vaquel held on with her thighs. The funnel vibrated as the mechanical tongues licked at her sex. The funnel edges moved and nibbled in a close approximation of a real mouth. Unlike a real mouth, this one never had to come up for air.
“Fuck me,” Vaquel cried. She leaned back on the floating ball so the scientists could see better. She grabbed her nipples and pulled on them so the Mur could appreciate her large breasts. Some of the scientists had dropped their notes while one trio was on their knees.
The tongues moved away and Vaquel pouted. She looked for another button to press. Before she could find one, she felt something new touch her sex. It was long, thin and vibrated.
“Fuck me, you magnificent fur ball!” Vaquel cried. The thin rod penetrated her. It grew longer and longer until her cunt was completely filled. When she couldn’t take anymore, the rod moved back and forth like a passionate lover.
Vaquel laughed with pleasure. The top half of her body undulated on top of the fur ball. She threw every bit of her flexibility into it as she put on a show for the scientists. Those assholes needed to know what they were missing.
She felt something pressed against her ass. Vaquel turned around and saw one of the other funnels was snaking towards her anus. The funnel applied itself to her ass and she soon felt more tongues licking her asshole.
“You’re best species ever!” Vaquel yelled to the scientists. “Seriously, I love you guys!”
More of the Mur were on their hands and knees to watch. Quite a few had given up the pretense of taking notes. Vaquel was amazed by how many of their heads moved in perfect synchronicity with her tits.
The rod in her sex increased in speed. The vibrations grew stronger and the funnel produced more lubricant. The tongues on her ass were getting bolder and were opening her anus. The bottom half of Vaquel’s body was an orgy of sensation.
“Glory to the Queen!” Vaquel cried out. Her orgasm blossomed within her and she almost fell off the fur ball. After days of waiting to get laid, she had a lot of tension to release.
The tongues kept licking her ass while the rod gently eased out of her. The fur ball sank to the ground where Vaquel slid off the ball. She lay on the floor for a good five minutes and watched the frustrated scientists above her.
“Okay, maybe just a Class One Humiliation Conquest,” Vaquel said. “On second thought, if they don’t let me take this ball with me, it is Class Five for sure.”
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Fiction: Magic Cock
Look, before we get started, I want to warn you about something. No, I’m not married. No, I don’t have an STD. Can you let me finish? Christ, stop trying to unzip my pants too. This is important.
I have a magic cock.
No, seriously. I know I said that at the bar but think about it, would a hot lady like you normally go home with a guy that looks like me? Yeah, I know. You never have one night stands but tonight is different. I have heard it before. This isn’t my first time at this pussy rodeo.
Come on, listen. I want you to be ready before you touch my cock. See, it has these powers and women just know on a subconscious level that I am packing magic cock. That is why you went home with me and that is why you are ripping my pants off. Oh shit, don’t touch it ye-
Ah hell. No, go on, keep crying. You need to get that out. Trust me, you will feel better after the tears are all out. You probably are thinking about a bad break up you had years ago, or maybe thinking about someone you never told that you loved? Am I right? Yeah, I knew it.
I would like to mention that you haven’t let go of my cock. You’re crying like a baby but you still have a grip on my cock. See what I mean? Magic cock.
No, I don’t mind. Keep a hold of it. It feels nice in your hand. Honestly, if I got turned off by crying, I would never get laid.
What does the magic cock do? Lady, all sorts of things. Most women realize they need to leave their boyfriends. Other women end up getting new jobs or moving to some other city. One girl I knew started stripping off her clothes and ran naked through the neighborhood. I have no idea what her deal was. The girl was seriously repressed.
How did I get a magic cock? Fuck if I know. It has always been this way. My first girlfriend found out she was a lesbian when she touched it. This cock is crazy shit.
Feeling better? Not scared? Okay, that’s good. Ready for more? I can roll with that.
Put my cock on your tongue. No, don’t stick it in your mouth yet. You got to go slow with the magic cock.
There we go. Yep, I can tell by your eyes that you just learned some serious enlightenment right there. No, don’t speak. Just let it sit on your tongue
Yeah, you might want to hold it. My cock gets all excited and won’t sit still. Keep it pressed to your tongue. Let whatever revelation come to you. You got to absorb that shit.
Don’t worry; I won’t come in your mouth. Yeah I know everyone says that but trust me, I won’t. If I come in your mouth, you will pass out from the world shattering wisdom. You’re smiling but it’s true. I’ve come in two girls’ mouth and both of them passed out. I had to take them to the hospital and both were in a coma for a week. Then get this, after they wake out of their coma, they both started cults. Both of them talked about the infinite spermy wisdom. It was really creepy.
Oh wait, I appreciate you wanting to go down on me but I am really close. We better slip it into your pussy right away. Don’t worry; even if I come in the next two minutes, you’ll be happy.
Oh fuck. Damn, this is a nice pussy. Tight and wet and everything I need.
See? You just came, didn’t you? Tell you the truth, I have learned to come quick because most women don’t last that long.
No, no, go ahead and tell me what you’re thinking about. You’re dying to tell me. I’ll just keep fucking.
You just realized something about your dad? No, that doesn’t surprise me. Really.
Mind if I grab your tit? Thanks.
You want to quit your job? Let me guess, is it because you only took the job because it was available and now it is killing your soul? Believe me, that is real common.
Mind if I play with your pussy hair a little? Thanks.
You just came again? Crazy isn’t it?
Wow, that is amazing about your sister. Twenty years of therapy would have never gotten that out, trust me.
Uh, can you stop talking about how your grandmother’s death changed your life? I am about to come here.
Fuck yes! Oh, damn I needed that.
Shh, it’s okay. You just cry. There is a lot to take in, I know. You’re a changed woman now. A year from now, you’ll have a job you love, a boyfriend that is right for you and some real control over your life.
You’re going to open a restaurant? That’s nice. Follow your dream, baby.
You know, I am glad it helped you. Some day I got to find me a magic pussy because I got all sorts of issues to work out. Shit, my alcoholic dad really did a number on-
Oh, you need to go? Hey, you don’t need to make something up, I get it. You got your life to get started on. You don’t want to hear about my problems. I won’t even ask for your number. I know better. You have a lot to work through and no time for a relationship.
Take care.
I have a magic cock.
No, seriously. I know I said that at the bar but think about it, would a hot lady like you normally go home with a guy that looks like me? Yeah, I know. You never have one night stands but tonight is different. I have heard it before. This isn’t my first time at this pussy rodeo.
Come on, listen. I want you to be ready before you touch my cock. See, it has these powers and women just know on a subconscious level that I am packing magic cock. That is why you went home with me and that is why you are ripping my pants off. Oh shit, don’t touch it ye-
Ah hell. No, go on, keep crying. You need to get that out. Trust me, you will feel better after the tears are all out. You probably are thinking about a bad break up you had years ago, or maybe thinking about someone you never told that you loved? Am I right? Yeah, I knew it.
I would like to mention that you haven’t let go of my cock. You’re crying like a baby but you still have a grip on my cock. See what I mean? Magic cock.
No, I don’t mind. Keep a hold of it. It feels nice in your hand. Honestly, if I got turned off by crying, I would never get laid.
What does the magic cock do? Lady, all sorts of things. Most women realize they need to leave their boyfriends. Other women end up getting new jobs or moving to some other city. One girl I knew started stripping off her clothes and ran naked through the neighborhood. I have no idea what her deal was. The girl was seriously repressed.
How did I get a magic cock? Fuck if I know. It has always been this way. My first girlfriend found out she was a lesbian when she touched it. This cock is crazy shit.
Feeling better? Not scared? Okay, that’s good. Ready for more? I can roll with that.
Put my cock on your tongue. No, don’t stick it in your mouth yet. You got to go slow with the magic cock.
There we go. Yep, I can tell by your eyes that you just learned some serious enlightenment right there. No, don’t speak. Just let it sit on your tongue
Yeah, you might want to hold it. My cock gets all excited and won’t sit still. Keep it pressed to your tongue. Let whatever revelation come to you. You got to absorb that shit.
Don’t worry; I won’t come in your mouth. Yeah I know everyone says that but trust me, I won’t. If I come in your mouth, you will pass out from the world shattering wisdom. You’re smiling but it’s true. I’ve come in two girls’ mouth and both of them passed out. I had to take them to the hospital and both were in a coma for a week. Then get this, after they wake out of their coma, they both started cults. Both of them talked about the infinite spermy wisdom. It was really creepy.
Oh wait, I appreciate you wanting to go down on me but I am really close. We better slip it into your pussy right away. Don’t worry; even if I come in the next two minutes, you’ll be happy.
Oh fuck. Damn, this is a nice pussy. Tight and wet and everything I need.
See? You just came, didn’t you? Tell you the truth, I have learned to come quick because most women don’t last that long.
No, no, go ahead and tell me what you’re thinking about. You’re dying to tell me. I’ll just keep fucking.
You just realized something about your dad? No, that doesn’t surprise me. Really.
Mind if I grab your tit? Thanks.
You want to quit your job? Let me guess, is it because you only took the job because it was available and now it is killing your soul? Believe me, that is real common.
Mind if I play with your pussy hair a little? Thanks.
You just came again? Crazy isn’t it?
Wow, that is amazing about your sister. Twenty years of therapy would have never gotten that out, trust me.
Uh, can you stop talking about how your grandmother’s death changed your life? I am about to come here.
Fuck yes! Oh, damn I needed that.
Shh, it’s okay. You just cry. There is a lot to take in, I know. You’re a changed woman now. A year from now, you’ll have a job you love, a boyfriend that is right for you and some real control over your life.
You’re going to open a restaurant? That’s nice. Follow your dream, baby.
You know, I am glad it helped you. Some day I got to find me a magic pussy because I got all sorts of issues to work out. Shit, my alcoholic dad really did a number on-
Oh, you need to go? Hey, you don’t need to make something up, I get it. You got your life to get started on. You don’t want to hear about my problems. I won’t even ask for your number. I know better. You have a lot to work through and no time for a relationship.
Take care.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Buy The Dark Lords of the Earth
This story is a tribute to the alien abduction fiction that I read and partially believed as a youth. It is also a mockery of some of the paranoid themes that is so prevalent in our culture, both current and in the past. Lastly, it was a chance for me to write about inexplicable perverts who lurk underground.
I also wrote this story during my chemo treatment and it was one of the things that helped me to smile during that awful time. No guilt or anything if you don't buy it, you monster.
The Dark Lords of the Earth can be bought by clicking this link.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Fiction: Happy State of Mind
Isaac Cox held his hand up. It was shaking. At six and a half feet tall, that was a lot of arm to be shaking. The black man looked at his hand in a sort of wonder. He had been scared plenty of times in his career as a bounty hunter and even more in his earlier time as a male stripper, but he had never been this scared. It was fascinating.
“What’s the matter, Sweetballs?” Olivia asked. Sweetballs was her new nickname for him. She usually came up with a new one every other month. It was one of the reasons he loved her so much.
Olivia Pusse' was his fantastic girlfriend, even more fantastic lover and even better partner. For a college cheerleader turned private detective, she was a hell of woman. The only thing bigger than her gorgeous tits and blonde hair was her heart.
He flashed her smile #21, the one that said loved every second that he was with her. “Maybe we should call for backup,” Isaac said. “The NRKKK will all be packing and we know there will be at least fifty of them. I know they’re having a meeting in a church but to these Bible humpers, that just means they want Jesus to bless their bullets.”
Olivia shook her head. “You really think the police will just arrest them? We’re in Arizona. You’ve had to show the police your birth certificate four times since we got here. For all we know, the NRKKK is made of police. Either we get them now, or this cock-regation is going to break up and go back underground. Remember what these hood fuckers did to that adult toy store?”
Isaac remembered. The National Rifle Klu Klux Klan was targeting any adult businesses that were operated by minorities. Not content with a simple drive by, these paramilitary fuckers were taking their time to capture, torture and execute the employees. That usually took an hour and Olivia was right, not a single policeman had shown up in time to stop it. It was up to them.
“I’m not afraid for me,” Isaac said. “I just don’t them to get their hands on you. You know what they would do with a white woman who worked with a black man? You saw the kind of sick shit they do.”
Olivia shook her head. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about me, Sweetballs, but you got to girl up and deal with it. Either we kill these fuckers tonight or they might get away clean. “
“Yeah, you’re right,” Isaac said. He looked at his hand and tried to will it to be still. It wasn’t working.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Olivia said. “Back when I was a cheerleader, I would get nervous before a game.”
“Oh God, you’re not going to tell me picture all those pale white rednecks naked are you?” Isaac said.
“Great, make me throw up before we go in there,” Olivia said. “No, I was going to tell you how before a game, I would go to my Happy Place. You know, a mental place where everything is perfect. I used to fantasize about being in a shoe store and naked Olympic swimmers would wait on me.”
Isaac laughed. “My happy place is balls deep in you while we watch cop shows.”
Olivia laughed. “I am pretty sure that is your Happy Fucking Place.”
She kissed him. It was out of the blue and unexpected. Their tongues danced with each other as if they knew this might be their last kiss. When they came up for air, Olivia spoke first.
“Now go to your Happy Killing Place,” she said.
Isaac picked up his twin steel pistols. He took a look at Olivia as she unzipped her leather jacket to reveal more cleavage. He heard laughter coming from the church. He was with his girlfriend about to hurt some very bad people. Yes, a Happy Killing Place. He could do that.
Isaac imagined Olivia getting ready this morning. She had put on a blue thong because few things made her want to shot something more than having a thong up her crack all day. She put on black jeans and then strapped on four guns along her thighs. A blue sports bra went on top of her lovely breasts. Olivia was a firm believer that a lot of cleavage distracted people trying to kill her. She was also a firm believer in proper tit support during a fight. She put a leather jacket over them and then filled her pockets with bullets. Her long blonde hair went into a tight bun so her enemies would have less to grab. She was a murderous beauty queen.
Isaac kicked the church doors open. A mass of rednecks wearing their white hunting cap hoods turned around. Isaac raised his pistols and didn’t bother to aim. He just pointed in the direction of the crowd and pulled the trigger.
Racists started screaming. Wet spots appeared on dozens of pants. A black guy with a gun was their worse nightmare come to life.
Olivia made the nightmare worse. She walked out from behind Isaac and leveled her shotgun at the racists. The ones in front ducked behind pews and the ones behind them were cut down by the spread of her shotgun rounds. Racist slurs turned into screams of mercy.
The surprise lasted for only a few seconds. Hundreds of guns were drawn from holsters, carrying cases and portable gun racks. Confronted with a black man and a white woman, the racists’ fears gave way to unspeakable rage. The looks of hatred were more intense than the look of hundreds of guns pointed at them.
Isaac moved to the left. Olivia went to the right. He couldn’t watch her as he fought but she was on his mind. He thought about Olivia going down on him. He pictured his cock disappearing in slow motion between Olivia’s hungry lips. The flicks of her tongue were burned into his memory. The fear melted away as his cock hardened.
He kept shooting as he walked. His old stripper moves kicked in and his body twisted, turned and move in a rhythm that the racists found impossible to draw a bead on. They were used to shooting cardboard targets, running immigrants and crying victims. Shooting someone who moved was a challenge that most couldn’t handle. Their bullets missed as the walls around Isaac disintegrated. A tremor of fear ran up his leg.
Isaac thought of Olivia punching a drunk last night. The guy was kicked out of the NRKKK for dating a Hispanic and he had some information. Olivia had put the guy’s head between her thighs and squeezed. The poor bastard started crying for his momma and said that his skull was cracking. He told them everything.
He holstered his pistols when they ran out of bullets. He pulled out an Uzi from his trench coat without even breaking stride. He aimed low and kneecaps disintegrated. Racists blacked out from the pain while their friends used their fallen bodies for cover.
Isaac thought of Olivia on her laptop. She was one hell of a researcher when it came to tracking gun sales. College must be good for something after all. Isaac loved to see a smart woman work. The fact that the blonde liked to work naked on her laptop was just the cream in the pastry filling.
He pulled a grenade from his belt and lobbed it at the back door. A crowd of cowardly NRKKK members were trying their best to make a strategic bug out. Too bad for them that Isaac and Olivia had chained the door shut just a few minutes ago. The grenade bounced into the crowd and reduced them to hamburger paste.
The bullets were coming closer. Either the NRKKK were becoming better shots or Isaac was slowing down. A single bullet could cripple him and with him down, Olivia would have a much harder time. She might even get captured. The terrible things they would do to her were enough to turn Isaac white.
A group of NRKKK members rushed him. Maybe they smelled fear. Maybe they just couldn’t resist putting a boot to a black man. More than likely, they knew what awful shots they were and needed to get in point blank range.
Isaac thought of Olivia. He thought of her perfect bouncing tits when she rode his cock. He thought of the way her lips get tight when she fired her guns. He thought of the way Olivia smiled at him when he said something nice about her. He thought about how much he loved that crazy white girl.
He stuck his leg up and the closest NRKKK member ran face first into his boot. He used the grip of his Uzi to smash in the skull of the second closest racist. He grabbed the hood of the third closest asshole and slammed his head into the nearest pew.
The fourth fuckwad lost his courage. He turned to run but Isaac hooked an arm around his neck and dragged him close to him. His new human shield screamed as Isaac fired his Uzi into the racists. When the racist felt Isaac’s erection pressing into his back, the NRKKK member wept like a baby.
Unable to dodge, Isaac was an easy target for the NRKKK. They had no hesitation to shooting his meat shield because they were damn happy to at least be hitting something. Isaac used that opportunity to get a better aim on the rapidly shrinking group of racists.
Ten seconds later, it was over. The entire NRKKK was dead. Isaac dropped the dead weight he was carrying. The smell of gunpowder and blood was strong but not nearly as strong as the overwhelming smell of piss.
Olivia walked over to him. She had changed out her shotgun for a nasty looking assault rifle that Isaac didn’t recognize. Her jacket was open and her blue sports bra was exposed.
“What do you think of my new gun, Sweetballs?” Olivia said. “The thing punched a hole through a guy deeper than when you ass fuck me!”
“Oh yeah?” Isaac said. He flashed her smile #76, the one that said everything is right in the world because she was here. That smile was easier and easier to do every day. “Why don’t you drop your pants and we’ll do a comparison right here?”
Olivia wiggled out of her jeans. Now it was time for Isaac to go to his Happy Fucking Place.
“What’s the matter, Sweetballs?” Olivia asked. Sweetballs was her new nickname for him. She usually came up with a new one every other month. It was one of the reasons he loved her so much.
Olivia Pusse' was his fantastic girlfriend, even more fantastic lover and even better partner. For a college cheerleader turned private detective, she was a hell of woman. The only thing bigger than her gorgeous tits and blonde hair was her heart.
He flashed her smile #21, the one that said loved every second that he was with her. “Maybe we should call for backup,” Isaac said. “The NRKKK will all be packing and we know there will be at least fifty of them. I know they’re having a meeting in a church but to these Bible humpers, that just means they want Jesus to bless their bullets.”
Olivia shook her head. “You really think the police will just arrest them? We’re in Arizona. You’ve had to show the police your birth certificate four times since we got here. For all we know, the NRKKK is made of police. Either we get them now, or this cock-regation is going to break up and go back underground. Remember what these hood fuckers did to that adult toy store?”
Isaac remembered. The National Rifle Klu Klux Klan was targeting any adult businesses that were operated by minorities. Not content with a simple drive by, these paramilitary fuckers were taking their time to capture, torture and execute the employees. That usually took an hour and Olivia was right, not a single policeman had shown up in time to stop it. It was up to them.
“I’m not afraid for me,” Isaac said. “I just don’t them to get their hands on you. You know what they would do with a white woman who worked with a black man? You saw the kind of sick shit they do.”
Olivia shook her head. “It’s sweet that you’re worried about me, Sweetballs, but you got to girl up and deal with it. Either we kill these fuckers tonight or they might get away clean. “
“Yeah, you’re right,” Isaac said. He looked at his hand and tried to will it to be still. It wasn’t working.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Olivia said. “Back when I was a cheerleader, I would get nervous before a game.”
“Oh God, you’re not going to tell me picture all those pale white rednecks naked are you?” Isaac said.
“Great, make me throw up before we go in there,” Olivia said. “No, I was going to tell you how before a game, I would go to my Happy Place. You know, a mental place where everything is perfect. I used to fantasize about being in a shoe store and naked Olympic swimmers would wait on me.”
Isaac laughed. “My happy place is balls deep in you while we watch cop shows.”
Olivia laughed. “I am pretty sure that is your Happy Fucking Place.”
She kissed him. It was out of the blue and unexpected. Their tongues danced with each other as if they knew this might be their last kiss. When they came up for air, Olivia spoke first.
“Now go to your Happy Killing Place,” she said.
Isaac picked up his twin steel pistols. He took a look at Olivia as she unzipped her leather jacket to reveal more cleavage. He heard laughter coming from the church. He was with his girlfriend about to hurt some very bad people. Yes, a Happy Killing Place. He could do that.
Isaac imagined Olivia getting ready this morning. She had put on a blue thong because few things made her want to shot something more than having a thong up her crack all day. She put on black jeans and then strapped on four guns along her thighs. A blue sports bra went on top of her lovely breasts. Olivia was a firm believer that a lot of cleavage distracted people trying to kill her. She was also a firm believer in proper tit support during a fight. She put a leather jacket over them and then filled her pockets with bullets. Her long blonde hair went into a tight bun so her enemies would have less to grab. She was a murderous beauty queen.
Isaac kicked the church doors open. A mass of rednecks wearing their white hunting cap hoods turned around. Isaac raised his pistols and didn’t bother to aim. He just pointed in the direction of the crowd and pulled the trigger.
Racists started screaming. Wet spots appeared on dozens of pants. A black guy with a gun was their worse nightmare come to life.
Olivia made the nightmare worse. She walked out from behind Isaac and leveled her shotgun at the racists. The ones in front ducked behind pews and the ones behind them were cut down by the spread of her shotgun rounds. Racist slurs turned into screams of mercy.
The surprise lasted for only a few seconds. Hundreds of guns were drawn from holsters, carrying cases and portable gun racks. Confronted with a black man and a white woman, the racists’ fears gave way to unspeakable rage. The looks of hatred were more intense than the look of hundreds of guns pointed at them.
Isaac moved to the left. Olivia went to the right. He couldn’t watch her as he fought but she was on his mind. He thought about Olivia going down on him. He pictured his cock disappearing in slow motion between Olivia’s hungry lips. The flicks of her tongue were burned into his memory. The fear melted away as his cock hardened.
He kept shooting as he walked. His old stripper moves kicked in and his body twisted, turned and move in a rhythm that the racists found impossible to draw a bead on. They were used to shooting cardboard targets, running immigrants and crying victims. Shooting someone who moved was a challenge that most couldn’t handle. Their bullets missed as the walls around Isaac disintegrated. A tremor of fear ran up his leg.
Isaac thought of Olivia punching a drunk last night. The guy was kicked out of the NRKKK for dating a Hispanic and he had some information. Olivia had put the guy’s head between her thighs and squeezed. The poor bastard started crying for his momma and said that his skull was cracking. He told them everything.
He holstered his pistols when they ran out of bullets. He pulled out an Uzi from his trench coat without even breaking stride. He aimed low and kneecaps disintegrated. Racists blacked out from the pain while their friends used their fallen bodies for cover.
Isaac thought of Olivia on her laptop. She was one hell of a researcher when it came to tracking gun sales. College must be good for something after all. Isaac loved to see a smart woman work. The fact that the blonde liked to work naked on her laptop was just the cream in the pastry filling.
He pulled a grenade from his belt and lobbed it at the back door. A crowd of cowardly NRKKK members were trying their best to make a strategic bug out. Too bad for them that Isaac and Olivia had chained the door shut just a few minutes ago. The grenade bounced into the crowd and reduced them to hamburger paste.
The bullets were coming closer. Either the NRKKK were becoming better shots or Isaac was slowing down. A single bullet could cripple him and with him down, Olivia would have a much harder time. She might even get captured. The terrible things they would do to her were enough to turn Isaac white.
A group of NRKKK members rushed him. Maybe they smelled fear. Maybe they just couldn’t resist putting a boot to a black man. More than likely, they knew what awful shots they were and needed to get in point blank range.
Isaac thought of Olivia. He thought of her perfect bouncing tits when she rode his cock. He thought of the way her lips get tight when she fired her guns. He thought of the way Olivia smiled at him when he said something nice about her. He thought about how much he loved that crazy white girl.
He stuck his leg up and the closest NRKKK member ran face first into his boot. He used the grip of his Uzi to smash in the skull of the second closest racist. He grabbed the hood of the third closest asshole and slammed his head into the nearest pew.
The fourth fuckwad lost his courage. He turned to run but Isaac hooked an arm around his neck and dragged him close to him. His new human shield screamed as Isaac fired his Uzi into the racists. When the racist felt Isaac’s erection pressing into his back, the NRKKK member wept like a baby.
Unable to dodge, Isaac was an easy target for the NRKKK. They had no hesitation to shooting his meat shield because they were damn happy to at least be hitting something. Isaac used that opportunity to get a better aim on the rapidly shrinking group of racists.
Ten seconds later, it was over. The entire NRKKK was dead. Isaac dropped the dead weight he was carrying. The smell of gunpowder and blood was strong but not nearly as strong as the overwhelming smell of piss.
Olivia walked over to him. She had changed out her shotgun for a nasty looking assault rifle that Isaac didn’t recognize. Her jacket was open and her blue sports bra was exposed.
“What do you think of my new gun, Sweetballs?” Olivia said. “The thing punched a hole through a guy deeper than when you ass fuck me!”
“Oh yeah?” Isaac said. He flashed her smile #76, the one that said everything is right in the world because she was here. That smile was easier and easier to do every day. “Why don’t you drop your pants and we’ll do a comparison right here?”
Olivia wiggled out of her jeans. Now it was time for Isaac to go to his Happy Fucking Place.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Dirty Books: Yolanda The Girl From Erosphere
Yolanda: The Girl from Erosphere is a 1975 science fiction erotica book written by Dominique Verseau although rumor has it that this is just a pseudonym for much more famous writer, Henri René Guieu. It is book one in a series that I am pretty sure never saw a book two. That is something of a problem as book one ends on a cliffhanger. What is it about? See, in the future, humanity gets a hell of a lot less uptight about sex and gets very open minded. Not open minded enough for male homosexuality apparently, but enough for casual sex between men and women and girl on girl action. Yolanda is a sexologist and she is picked to join a crew of three astronauts to go to a mysterious destination on a new space ship. The mission is top secret to the point that the astronauts are not told where they are going, but one of your crew is a sexologist, another is a linguistics expert and the other two are virile male mechanic types, the odds are you are going to sexy planet.
During the space flight, the four astronauts have a lot of sex. The female linguistics expert is what passes for a prude in this society as she take a little convincing before she will have sex but trust me, everyone is having sex in this book. I'd say 90% of the book is about sex acts but I am not a sexologist like Yolanda.
The other ten percent is interesting science fiction. Although it is not explicitly stated, it occurred to me that the premise of this society is that what if the sexual revolution of the 1970's kept going. Clothing is most transparent lingerie, people have an Age of Consent day where they discard their virginity and science is working hard on pills to help women's sphincters relax during anal sex. It is an interesting idea and one that could only have been written in 1975 before the sexual revolution ran into the AIDS terror of the 80's.
I also whole heartedly approve of the use of science in a lot of the sex scenes. I have this pet peeve about fantasy and science fiction erotica. A lot of writers will use the setting as a place for people to get laid without thinking about how people in a world with magic or super science would be using their setting to help them get off. This book is full of sexual aids that are unique to the setting. Artificial gravity is turned into a sex aid. Pills are made to relax your anus or flavor your sperm. This is not a book where people in funny costumes have sex just like you do. This is a book about space sex.
Which you better like because man, there is a lot of it. The majority of the book is about the casual fucking that takes place on a space ship. When aliens show up, they just join in the sex. It took me a week to read this slim book because sex, sex, sex just bored the shit, shit shit out of me.
Funny aside, the sex aliens in this book look an awful lot like the Engineers from the Prometheus movie. Which is hilarious in a kind of spoiler way that you will only get if you have seen the movie.
The other downside is that after 180 pages of frolicking casual sex, the books end with a gangbang rape of the main characters by other, nastier sex aliens. It was a real mood changer. I can only imagine that in the 70's, rape was just another sexual position because I keep running into fucking rape scenes in 70's porn books.
It is a shame that there never was a book two because I am pretty sure it would have been like Anne Rice's Beauty book except in space. Although I was often bored by the endless sex, I did enjoy the non-sex bits and I thought the imagination and science fiction was quite neat.
I give it Two out of Five Pam Griers.
Friday, June 08, 2012
Sha La La La La La
I'm busy writing. I am on chapter 13 of my possibly 15 chapters Haunted House novella. Being so close to the end of a novella is freaking exciting. It is all haunted house all the haunted time in my haunted head right now.
Which means I got jack shit that is new to post today. I do have a new favorite band and as you well know, this is very important. Heavy Young Heathens is my new obsession and I listen to their entire album about twice a day. I am sure they will be my all time favorite band until the next new thing I get obsessed with. In the meantime, enjoy the song that got me into them.
Which means I got jack shit that is new to post today. I do have a new favorite band and as you well know, this is very important. Heavy Young Heathens is my new obsession and I listen to their entire album about twice a day. I am sure they will be my all time favorite band until the next new thing I get obsessed with. In the meantime, enjoy the song that got me into them.
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Fiction: Professional Standards
The hood came off. Holly Valentine shook her head because if she was going to die, she didn’t want to die with hood hair. Her long red hair fell around her pale face like shimmering fire. There, now that she looked good, she could deal with what was happening.
She had been abducted as soon as she stepped into her hotel room. These things happen. She was an investigative reporter for INX and her list of enemies was as long as her shapely legs. The expose she wrote on Nazi Super PAC’s last week was just asking for assassins.
The man who took off her mask walked around to the front of her. He wasn’t what she was expecting. He had long curly hair and was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. Where were the shiny leather pants and the aerodynamic bald head? What kind of assassin was this?
“Dude,” Holly said. “Don’t you know that long hair means you have a greater chance to leave behind DNA evidence?”
The man slapped her. His hand moved so quick that she didn’t have time to brace herself. His hand smacked her head around and left a sting on her cheek. The fucker was fast.
“Call me, Villain,” he said. “And only sloppy assassins don’t take the time to bleach, vacuum and sterilize their work environment.”
“Good point, Villain,” Holly said. She always believed in cooperating with the people who have her tied up.
Holly took a good look at her location. Well this was odd. Instead of a dark cellar or an empty warehouse, it appeared that she was in someone’s house. She was tied to a chair in the living room to be exact. Several lights had been set up to illuminate the place, most likely to help the camera that was sitting on a tripod. There was another guy operating the camera and he was dressed just as casually as Villain was.
“What’s the camera for?” Holly asked. She was a reporter, she had questions.
Villain slapped the other side of her face. Holly felt the sting of his hand a split second before her head spun around.
“Ahhh,” Holly groaned. “I meant, what is the camera for, Villain?”
“Some clients like to see their targets die,” Villain say. “I also make extra money selling clips on web sites.”
“Damn, assassinating reporters doesn’t pay all the bills?” Holly asked. “Villain,” she added quickly before the hand could fly.
Villain shook his head. “The economy is tough, man.”
Holly nodded in sympathy. Her hands however were in constant motion. She couldn’t see the rope that had bound her hands but she was an expert in escaping bondage. She twisted her wrists into the Zombie Clutch, then rolled them into the Robber’s Swirl and followed through with the Spookshow Pull. There, that outwitted every decent knot.
She went to pull her hands free but the rope held on. The perky redhead frowned with concern. Shit, this wasn’t your average professional hitman’s knot. This guy was actually good!
“Say, Villain,” Holly said. She let her voice get husky and friendly. “Maybe this is a misunderstanding. Can you tell me who hired you and maybe I can clear this up.”
Villain ignored her. He pulled out a nasty looking knife. What frightened Holly about the knife is it lacked the weird serrated curves and dragon motifs on the hilt. This was a knife from someone’s kitchen. This wasn’t a knife for show; this was a knife for fucking cutting something.
Villain grabbed her blouse and placed the knife tip at her collar. He cut through her 120$ blouse like it was fucking saran wrap. With one quick slice he tore open her pricey blouse to reveal the even more expensive green bra underneath.
“Oh shit, not the bra, Villain!” Holly said. “You know how fucking hard it is to find a good bra for someone with my tits?”
The cruel bastard ignored her. His knife cut into the middle of her bra and both cups popped free. Holly heard the camera zoom in to focus on her heavy pale freckled breasts.
“Son of a bitch!” Holly yelled. She was furious now. Her life in danger was something she had gotten used to but tearing up her bras was just plain mean. Her wrists twisted, rolled and turned against her bonds. The rope held on like it was glued to her hands.
Villain grabbed a handful of tit and squeezed. Holly winced as his fingers mauled her soft flesh.
“Is this for the porn site or the client?” Holly asked.
“To tell the truth, this one is for me,” Villain said.
He was grabbing both breasts now. Her nipples were caught between his fingers and he cruelly twisted them. Holly kept from screaming as he did his damn best to twist her nipples off. When he released her nipples it was only so he could grab fresh handfuls of her tits.
He groped, pulled and squeezed her for the camera. The breast handling hurt but maybe not as much as the thought of this being recorded. She hated the idea that some bastard executive who ordered her death was now wacking off to her debasement. Hell, she wasn’t fond of a bunch of internet perverts getting their rocks off to her near death experience either. She might escape death today but it was doubtful that she would escape the humiliation of this getting on the internet.
What really bothered her was how turned on she was. It had been awhile since someone had abused her tits like this. It had been even longer since she had been tied up in a way that wasn’t easy to escape. For that matter, it had been ages since someone hated her enough to want her killed. It had been like, a month at least. The abduction, bondage and abuse were one hell of a turn on and it was distracting from her escape plan.
Holly’s escape plan was simple if a bit time consuming. It was called the Brenda technique. Holly kept moving her hands in complicated pattern of contortions that were designed to weaken the hold of restraining ropes. It would wear through any rope in time but the trick was to keep doing the routine without stopping. It was hard to keep up the rhythms when her pussy was clenching non stop.
An older reporter had taught Holly the trick one torrid night in Vegas. The older reporter said that she learned the trick from a reporter who used to get tied up by Railroad Barons in the Twenties. It was an escape routine passed down from female reporter to female reporter through the decades. Holly expected the trick was passed down from mouth to mouth and hand to pussy.
“Hey Villain, you seem like a nice guy,” Holly said through gritted teeth. His hand really knew how to crush a breast. “Can’t we work something out? Just between you me, and Hell, the camera man if he wants.”
Villain let go of her breast and moved behind her. Holly allowed herself a smile. She was getting good at this. She had talked an assassin out of her ropes in record time! All that practice in front of the mirror was paying off!”
Her glee turned sour as Villain walked back into view. He had a gun now.
“Holy shit!” Holly said. “You’re just going to waste me? Can’t we come to some sort of agreement? I don’t have much money but shit, I can get you Lindsey Lohan’s sex dungeon address! Just tell me what you want!”
Villain tilted his head to the side. “From what I had heard about you, Ms. Valentine, I would have thought that you would have offered me a blowjob by now.”
“Shit, is that all you want?” Holly said. “Unzip those jeans and stick your cock in my mouth already! I will suck the evil right out of you, Villain!”
Holly opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. Sure, it was vulgar and slutty, but she was a reporter. This wasn’t even in the top ten of trashy things she had done for a story much less for her life. It would also buy her more time for the Brenda technique to work.
Villain didn’t take much convincing. His jeans unzipped and he pulled his hard cock out for her. Holly realized that the chair she was sitting in was the perfect height for a good blowjob. The guy definitely planned ahead.
He grabbed her by her red hair and pulled her onto his cock. Holly’s open mouth slid right over his cock until she was face first in his jeans. He was hitting the back of her throat but Holly didn’t gag at all. She was an experienced reporter.
Villain fucked her face. He had her by the hair and there was nowhere for her to go. Holly noticed that Villain positioned himself so that the camera could see every moment. She tried to ignore it and just suck but damn, that was pretty humiliating. He had turned her from a reporter into a porn star.
It was pretty fucking hot.
Holly kept working through the Brenda combination. Her hands kept moving while Villain fucked her face. She had a hard time licking his cock and moving her hands at the same time but she came up with a solution. Her tongue did the same series of movements as her hands. Judging by the way that Villain was thrusting into her face, it was working.
Holly’s thighs clenched together. She had soaked through her panties. She briefly wondered if she could convince Villain to fuck her pussy next. It wouldn’t be a good idea as it would be impossible to hide the Brenda combination while being fucked but damn it, it was pretty damn tempting.
Villain reached down and grabbed on of her tits as she sucked. Holly moaned as his relentless fingers pinched and squeezed. Every pinch sent a fresh signal of desire to her poor neglected sex. She was awfully tempted to give up on the escape and just beg to be fucked.
Right as her will was about to broken, she felt a surge of seed in her mouth. Villain grunted as he filled her mouth with come. Holly swallowed because kidnapping assassins really hate it when you spit.
Villain pulled his cock out. “Damn, I have had my cock sucked by reporters, nurses and congresswomen, but you are the fucking best.”
“Thanks,” Holly said. “If you think my mouth is good, let me go and I’ll show you how much better my pussy is.”
Villain smiled. “Sorry, I’m on a deadline. And so are you.”
He pulled the gun back out. Villain pointed it at her and placed it on her temple.
“Oh come on!” Holly said. She meant to sound helpless and sad but it came across more as bitchy and defiant. Holly hadn’t mastered being helpless yet.
Behind her back, she felt the ropes loosen. She was almost there! She just had to stall for a minute longer!
“Give me five minutes with your cock,” Holly said. “Give me five minutes and I will make you come so hard that-“
Villain pulled the trigger.
The gun clicked. It was empty.
Villain turned to the camera. “And that concludes this demonstration. As you can see, I captured famed reporter, Holly Valentine, molested her and even had her beg to suck my cock. I had a gun to her head and she still didn’t escape. I didn’t kill her because I don’t kill for free. If you would like to see me kill one of your enemies, please contact the email appearing on your screen now. Good bye.”
The ropes fell from Holly’s hand. The Brenda combination had finally freed her. She stood up and grabbed the chair she was sitting on. Her blouse still open and her bruised tits exposed to the camera, Holly swung the chair at the back of Villain’s head.
The chair shattered on Villain. The asshole dropped like a rock and fell to the ground.
Holly looked at the camera guy. “This was a fucking demonstration? What am I? A goddamn preview clip?”
The camera guy held up his hands. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t going to let anyone hire him to kill you. He just wanted to show he could.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t he kill me for money?” Holly said.
The camera guy looked at the fallen Villain. “Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s a big fan of yours. He loved your report on how banks got were using orphans in sweatshops to process mortgage foreclosures.”
“Oh, Holly said. She was pissed but the man was a fan. She was conflicted. She was also really horny.
“He’s going to be pissed when he wakes up, right?” Holly said. “Probably want to tie me up and do all sorts of things to my body, right?”
The camera guy nodded slowly. “My car is out back. You can have the keys if you promise not to hurt me.”
“Fuck the car,” Holly said. “Help me wake Villain back up. I want to see what happens next.”
Villain appears courtesy of Tim Woodman, a fine bondage/kidnap/villainy enthusiast. I highly recommend any of his work. If Holly Valentine was a porn clip series, it would be on his site.
She had been abducted as soon as she stepped into her hotel room. These things happen. She was an investigative reporter for INX and her list of enemies was as long as her shapely legs. The expose she wrote on Nazi Super PAC’s last week was just asking for assassins.
The man who took off her mask walked around to the front of her. He wasn’t what she was expecting. He had long curly hair and was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. Where were the shiny leather pants and the aerodynamic bald head? What kind of assassin was this?
“Dude,” Holly said. “Don’t you know that long hair means you have a greater chance to leave behind DNA evidence?”
The man slapped her. His hand moved so quick that she didn’t have time to brace herself. His hand smacked her head around and left a sting on her cheek. The fucker was fast.
“Call me, Villain,” he said. “And only sloppy assassins don’t take the time to bleach, vacuum and sterilize their work environment.”
“Good point, Villain,” Holly said. She always believed in cooperating with the people who have her tied up.
Holly took a good look at her location. Well this was odd. Instead of a dark cellar or an empty warehouse, it appeared that she was in someone’s house. She was tied to a chair in the living room to be exact. Several lights had been set up to illuminate the place, most likely to help the camera that was sitting on a tripod. There was another guy operating the camera and he was dressed just as casually as Villain was.
“What’s the camera for?” Holly asked. She was a reporter, she had questions.
Villain slapped the other side of her face. Holly felt the sting of his hand a split second before her head spun around.
“Ahhh,” Holly groaned. “I meant, what is the camera for, Villain?”
“Some clients like to see their targets die,” Villain say. “I also make extra money selling clips on web sites.”
“Damn, assassinating reporters doesn’t pay all the bills?” Holly asked. “Villain,” she added quickly before the hand could fly.
Villain shook his head. “The economy is tough, man.”
Holly nodded in sympathy. Her hands however were in constant motion. She couldn’t see the rope that had bound her hands but she was an expert in escaping bondage. She twisted her wrists into the Zombie Clutch, then rolled them into the Robber’s Swirl and followed through with the Spookshow Pull. There, that outwitted every decent knot.
She went to pull her hands free but the rope held on. The perky redhead frowned with concern. Shit, this wasn’t your average professional hitman’s knot. This guy was actually good!
“Say, Villain,” Holly said. She let her voice get husky and friendly. “Maybe this is a misunderstanding. Can you tell me who hired you and maybe I can clear this up.”
Villain ignored her. He pulled out a nasty looking knife. What frightened Holly about the knife is it lacked the weird serrated curves and dragon motifs on the hilt. This was a knife from someone’s kitchen. This wasn’t a knife for show; this was a knife for fucking cutting something.
Villain grabbed her blouse and placed the knife tip at her collar. He cut through her 120$ blouse like it was fucking saran wrap. With one quick slice he tore open her pricey blouse to reveal the even more expensive green bra underneath.
“Oh shit, not the bra, Villain!” Holly said. “You know how fucking hard it is to find a good bra for someone with my tits?”
The cruel bastard ignored her. His knife cut into the middle of her bra and both cups popped free. Holly heard the camera zoom in to focus on her heavy pale freckled breasts.
“Son of a bitch!” Holly yelled. She was furious now. Her life in danger was something she had gotten used to but tearing up her bras was just plain mean. Her wrists twisted, rolled and turned against her bonds. The rope held on like it was glued to her hands.
Villain grabbed a handful of tit and squeezed. Holly winced as his fingers mauled her soft flesh.
“Is this for the porn site or the client?” Holly asked.
“To tell the truth, this one is for me,” Villain said.
He was grabbing both breasts now. Her nipples were caught between his fingers and he cruelly twisted them. Holly kept from screaming as he did his damn best to twist her nipples off. When he released her nipples it was only so he could grab fresh handfuls of her tits.
He groped, pulled and squeezed her for the camera. The breast handling hurt but maybe not as much as the thought of this being recorded. She hated the idea that some bastard executive who ordered her death was now wacking off to her debasement. Hell, she wasn’t fond of a bunch of internet perverts getting their rocks off to her near death experience either. She might escape death today but it was doubtful that she would escape the humiliation of this getting on the internet.
What really bothered her was how turned on she was. It had been awhile since someone had abused her tits like this. It had been even longer since she had been tied up in a way that wasn’t easy to escape. For that matter, it had been ages since someone hated her enough to want her killed. It had been like, a month at least. The abduction, bondage and abuse were one hell of a turn on and it was distracting from her escape plan.
Holly’s escape plan was simple if a bit time consuming. It was called the Brenda technique. Holly kept moving her hands in complicated pattern of contortions that were designed to weaken the hold of restraining ropes. It would wear through any rope in time but the trick was to keep doing the routine without stopping. It was hard to keep up the rhythms when her pussy was clenching non stop.
An older reporter had taught Holly the trick one torrid night in Vegas. The older reporter said that she learned the trick from a reporter who used to get tied up by Railroad Barons in the Twenties. It was an escape routine passed down from female reporter to female reporter through the decades. Holly expected the trick was passed down from mouth to mouth and hand to pussy.
“Hey Villain, you seem like a nice guy,” Holly said through gritted teeth. His hand really knew how to crush a breast. “Can’t we work something out? Just between you me, and Hell, the camera man if he wants.”
Villain let go of her breast and moved behind her. Holly allowed herself a smile. She was getting good at this. She had talked an assassin out of her ropes in record time! All that practice in front of the mirror was paying off!”
Her glee turned sour as Villain walked back into view. He had a gun now.
“Holy shit!” Holly said. “You’re just going to waste me? Can’t we come to some sort of agreement? I don’t have much money but shit, I can get you Lindsey Lohan’s sex dungeon address! Just tell me what you want!”
Villain tilted his head to the side. “From what I had heard about you, Ms. Valentine, I would have thought that you would have offered me a blowjob by now.”
“Shit, is that all you want?” Holly said. “Unzip those jeans and stick your cock in my mouth already! I will suck the evil right out of you, Villain!”
Holly opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. Sure, it was vulgar and slutty, but she was a reporter. This wasn’t even in the top ten of trashy things she had done for a story much less for her life. It would also buy her more time for the Brenda technique to work.
Villain didn’t take much convincing. His jeans unzipped and he pulled his hard cock out for her. Holly realized that the chair she was sitting in was the perfect height for a good blowjob. The guy definitely planned ahead.
He grabbed her by her red hair and pulled her onto his cock. Holly’s open mouth slid right over his cock until she was face first in his jeans. He was hitting the back of her throat but Holly didn’t gag at all. She was an experienced reporter.
Villain fucked her face. He had her by the hair and there was nowhere for her to go. Holly noticed that Villain positioned himself so that the camera could see every moment. She tried to ignore it and just suck but damn, that was pretty humiliating. He had turned her from a reporter into a porn star.
It was pretty fucking hot.
Holly kept working through the Brenda combination. Her hands kept moving while Villain fucked her face. She had a hard time licking his cock and moving her hands at the same time but she came up with a solution. Her tongue did the same series of movements as her hands. Judging by the way that Villain was thrusting into her face, it was working.
Holly’s thighs clenched together. She had soaked through her panties. She briefly wondered if she could convince Villain to fuck her pussy next. It wouldn’t be a good idea as it would be impossible to hide the Brenda combination while being fucked but damn it, it was pretty damn tempting.
Villain reached down and grabbed on of her tits as she sucked. Holly moaned as his relentless fingers pinched and squeezed. Every pinch sent a fresh signal of desire to her poor neglected sex. She was awfully tempted to give up on the escape and just beg to be fucked.
Right as her will was about to broken, she felt a surge of seed in her mouth. Villain grunted as he filled her mouth with come. Holly swallowed because kidnapping assassins really hate it when you spit.
Villain pulled his cock out. “Damn, I have had my cock sucked by reporters, nurses and congresswomen, but you are the fucking best.”
“Thanks,” Holly said. “If you think my mouth is good, let me go and I’ll show you how much better my pussy is.”
Villain smiled. “Sorry, I’m on a deadline. And so are you.”
He pulled the gun back out. Villain pointed it at her and placed it on her temple.
“Oh come on!” Holly said. She meant to sound helpless and sad but it came across more as bitchy and defiant. Holly hadn’t mastered being helpless yet.
Behind her back, she felt the ropes loosen. She was almost there! She just had to stall for a minute longer!
“Give me five minutes with your cock,” Holly said. “Give me five minutes and I will make you come so hard that-“
Villain pulled the trigger.
The gun clicked. It was empty.
Villain turned to the camera. “And that concludes this demonstration. As you can see, I captured famed reporter, Holly Valentine, molested her and even had her beg to suck my cock. I had a gun to her head and she still didn’t escape. I didn’t kill her because I don’t kill for free. If you would like to see me kill one of your enemies, please contact the email appearing on your screen now. Good bye.”
The ropes fell from Holly’s hand. The Brenda combination had finally freed her. She stood up and grabbed the chair she was sitting on. Her blouse still open and her bruised tits exposed to the camera, Holly swung the chair at the back of Villain’s head.
The chair shattered on Villain. The asshole dropped like a rock and fell to the ground.
Holly looked at the camera guy. “This was a fucking demonstration? What am I? A goddamn preview clip?”
The camera guy held up his hands. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, he wasn’t going to let anyone hire him to kill you. He just wanted to show he could.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t he kill me for money?” Holly said.
The camera guy looked at the fallen Villain. “Don’t tell him I said this, but he’s a big fan of yours. He loved your report on how banks got were using orphans in sweatshops to process mortgage foreclosures.”
“Oh, Holly said. She was pissed but the man was a fan. She was conflicted. She was also really horny.
“He’s going to be pissed when he wakes up, right?” Holly said. “Probably want to tie me up and do all sorts of things to my body, right?”
The camera guy nodded slowly. “My car is out back. You can have the keys if you promise not to hurt me.”
“Fuck the car,” Holly said. “Help me wake Villain back up. I want to see what happens next.”
Villain appears courtesy of Tim Woodman, a fine bondage/kidnap/villainy enthusiast. I highly recommend any of his work. If Holly Valentine was a porn clip series, it would be on his site.
Monday, June 04, 2012
I Highly Reccomend Full Metal Orgasm
I am pretty biased when it comes to this e-magazine because it is a dream come true to someone like me. It combines the aggressive science fiction of your favorite period of the magazine, Heavy Metal, with an emphasis on sex, sex, filthy sex. More impressive is that although Heavy Metal was a big influence, this is a prose magazine. It is all text and a celebration of text. As a teen I bought Heavy Metal for the drawn tits and drawn violence and now I get Full Metal Orgasm for the written perversity and incredibly violent ideas. It is that rare publication that inspires me instead of making me roll my eyes at the state of the industry.
If you have any affection for shit that will blow your mind and make you wince and moan at the same time, then buy this e-magazine. I want to have a hundred issues of this and that is only going to happen if you buy it and tell your perverted friends.
Friday, June 01, 2012
Launch of the Dirty Secret
Ladies, gentlemen and esteemed members of the Weekly World News, welcome to our final pre-expedition press release. I am Professor Rios and I will be leading a research team into the deepest parts of Antarctica in search of the mysterious Land of Cat-Women!
I was fortunate to have the backing of several adventure minded anthropologists as well as generous grants from the Furry community. I would like to take this moment to thank noted Furry community member, Lord Fluffmuffer, who personally donated one million dollars for top of the line video cameras and cat scratch boards. I also want to thank Dr. Otto Von Madd, who provided high quality condoms designed for most humanoid sexual organs.
We will be making our voyage on the Dirty Secret, a cargo ship that was retrofitted in the 70’s into a floating swappers’ club but now has been re-retrofitted into a frozen water explorer. We took out the fur room and replaced it with our computers but we kept the hydroponics bay to store food and cat nip.
Our Captain, Oswald Cleaver, assures me that this ship can safely reach Antarctica and that his crew of ruthless but lovable reformed Somalian pirates is up to the task. He is looking forward to the voyage and has already let his back hair grow out in anticipation of the cold voyage.
Let me introduce the brave adventurers accompanying us.
Ian Xavier will be our lead explorer and expedition guide. Mr. Xavier has been to the deepest parts of the Amazon Jungle, fought savage intelligent monkeys in the wilds of Africa and once spent a frightening year in the small towns of North Carolina. Mr. Xavier has never been to Antarctica but after dealing with BBQ doused in vinegar in North Carolina, Mr. Xavier says that Antarctica will be a piece of cake.
Aiding him will be noted explorer, Ulysses Cameron. Mr. Cameron is better known for his series of survival shows where he is dumped in some hellhole like Utah and is forced to survive on his own piss and scavenged bags of potato chips in the wild. Mr. Cameron also has never been to the Antarctica but he has an amazing ass which experts think will mean a lot to the anal fixated Cat-Woman.
Doctor Yolanda Vette will be our biologist on this trip. Ms. Vette is a cat expert and noted cat lover who has been banned from seventeen zoos for unlawful carnal experiments with tigers and lions. Some people in the science community think she is a freak but I think her transgressions show how far she will go for scientific curiosity.
Professor Ted Banwitz is a historian and will be coming along to offers explanations for how Cat-Women manage to be living in Antarctica anyway. Mr. Banwitz is has done remarkable work in proving the existence of an underground race of perverts who have preyed on humanity through out the ages despite the censorship of the Vatican and the PTA. I welcome his insights on this voyage.
Doctor Miyoko Nagi shall be our anthropologist. I have been following her fascinating career as she has traced the origin of the dildo back through the ages. Her discovery of ancient G-spot dildos in Africa has been dismissed by the scientific community as perverse and characteristic of a size-queen, but I find her work very important. She will be invaluable as we try to study the Cat-Women. I also think her hair is what heaven smells like.
Because of the suspected violent nature of the Cat-Women, I have reached outside the scientific community to enlist the aid of some people who can aid in communication. For these purposes, I have hired Mistress Natasha Volkov and Mistress Wanda Violence who goes by the nickname, “Ice Queen.” Never underestimate the power of a coincidental name! These two shall help us establish relations with the power oriented Cat-Women
I wanted to hire a sex blogger to chronicle our exploits but that proved difficult. Most sex bloggers will only work for free sex toys and the others are too busy publishing their smut on Kindle and iTunes. After an exhausting search and many Twitter interviews, I finally found an out of work college student who thinks she can get school credit for this trip. I am not allowed to reveal her real name so she will only be listed by her pseudonym, Naked-Heart. I can also reveal that she is 20 something, masturbates frequently and is desperately bisexual.
That’s our team! We shall be leaving tonight and if all goes well, we will be sending back regular updates through the miracle of satellite phone technology. We will be sending back information as soon as we get it!
This concludes our press conference but please come to the lounge for drinks. There will be a needle play demonstration by Mistress Natasha Volkov and a poetry reading by Naked-Heart.
I was fortunate to have the backing of several adventure minded anthropologists as well as generous grants from the Furry community. I would like to take this moment to thank noted Furry community member, Lord Fluffmuffer, who personally donated one million dollars for top of the line video cameras and cat scratch boards. I also want to thank Dr. Otto Von Madd, who provided high quality condoms designed for most humanoid sexual organs.
We will be making our voyage on the Dirty Secret, a cargo ship that was retrofitted in the 70’s into a floating swappers’ club but now has been re-retrofitted into a frozen water explorer. We took out the fur room and replaced it with our computers but we kept the hydroponics bay to store food and cat nip.
Our Captain, Oswald Cleaver, assures me that this ship can safely reach Antarctica and that his crew of ruthless but lovable reformed Somalian pirates is up to the task. He is looking forward to the voyage and has already let his back hair grow out in anticipation of the cold voyage.
Let me introduce the brave adventurers accompanying us.
Ian Xavier will be our lead explorer and expedition guide. Mr. Xavier has been to the deepest parts of the Amazon Jungle, fought savage intelligent monkeys in the wilds of Africa and once spent a frightening year in the small towns of North Carolina. Mr. Xavier has never been to Antarctica but after dealing with BBQ doused in vinegar in North Carolina, Mr. Xavier says that Antarctica will be a piece of cake.
Aiding him will be noted explorer, Ulysses Cameron. Mr. Cameron is better known for his series of survival shows where he is dumped in some hellhole like Utah and is forced to survive on his own piss and scavenged bags of potato chips in the wild. Mr. Cameron also has never been to the Antarctica but he has an amazing ass which experts think will mean a lot to the anal fixated Cat-Woman.
Doctor Yolanda Vette will be our biologist on this trip. Ms. Vette is a cat expert and noted cat lover who has been banned from seventeen zoos for unlawful carnal experiments with tigers and lions. Some people in the science community think she is a freak but I think her transgressions show how far she will go for scientific curiosity.
Professor Ted Banwitz is a historian and will be coming along to offers explanations for how Cat-Women manage to be living in Antarctica anyway. Mr. Banwitz is has done remarkable work in proving the existence of an underground race of perverts who have preyed on humanity through out the ages despite the censorship of the Vatican and the PTA. I welcome his insights on this voyage.
Doctor Miyoko Nagi shall be our anthropologist. I have been following her fascinating career as she has traced the origin of the dildo back through the ages. Her discovery of ancient G-spot dildos in Africa has been dismissed by the scientific community as perverse and characteristic of a size-queen, but I find her work very important. She will be invaluable as we try to study the Cat-Women. I also think her hair is what heaven smells like.
Because of the suspected violent nature of the Cat-Women, I have reached outside the scientific community to enlist the aid of some people who can aid in communication. For these purposes, I have hired Mistress Natasha Volkov and Mistress Wanda Violence who goes by the nickname, “Ice Queen.” Never underestimate the power of a coincidental name! These two shall help us establish relations with the power oriented Cat-Women
I wanted to hire a sex blogger to chronicle our exploits but that proved difficult. Most sex bloggers will only work for free sex toys and the others are too busy publishing their smut on Kindle and iTunes. After an exhausting search and many Twitter interviews, I finally found an out of work college student who thinks she can get school credit for this trip. I am not allowed to reveal her real name so she will only be listed by her pseudonym, Naked-Heart. I can also reveal that she is 20 something, masturbates frequently and is desperately bisexual.
That’s our team! We shall be leaving tonight and if all goes well, we will be sending back regular updates through the miracle of satellite phone technology. We will be sending back information as soon as we get it!
This concludes our press conference but please come to the lounge for drinks. There will be a needle play demonstration by Mistress Natasha Volkov and a poetry reading by Naked-Heart.
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