Monday, May 30, 2011

First Draft, Ho!

This weekend I finished the last story for my pirate anthology. You have no idea how nice that felt. I originally wanted this book ready by May but reality and work kicked that idea in the nads. As I kept missing my own deadlines, I wondered if this was ever going to be written.

Which I think is an important lesson to all you amateur hobbyist writers out there - Don't give yourself deadlines. It is good to have goals and a schedule but seriously, I beat myself up emotionally for deadlines and I am my own boss. What is up with that? You know what is a better deadline? Write it till it is good. That's your deadline.

Speaking of good, one of my original goals was to have twenty-four stories set on this pirate ship. Why twenty-four? No good reason. It just seemed like a round fat number. Around story 18, I realized that I was about out of good ideas. I had four plots that were doable, but they were not exactly exciting. I started writing a few of them before I realized that they read like filler. I was trying to reach my own self imposed goal of twenty-four stories instead of just tying it up when I was out of good stories. Don't pull a Shon and do that.

Once I decided to stop at eighteen stories, I came up with two more. For story nineteen, I recycled an old favorite of mine about a pirate named Lucky John. I rewrote it a bit and added him to the crew. I wanted to have only new stories for this book but screw it, this is a good story. It deserves a second read.

For my twentieth story, I hacked and whittled at an idea I had till it was a story as good as the other nineteen. I like it. It has an orgy. It centers on the Captain and is from her point of view, something I carefully avoided throughout the whole anthology. I like Captain Kate O'Plenty and I think you will too.

I would like to go on the record and say that my biggest regret with this anthology is that I never wrote a story for the cook of the ship. I had a few character ideas in mind but no story to go with it. BDSM cooks are a favorite of mine but in six months, I couldn't come up with an angle that brought anything new to the genre. Oh well. Maybe now that the stories are written, my brain will relax and come up with an idea.

Just because the stories are written doesn't mean they are done. I need to go back through each one and rewrite them so that all of the characters remain consistent from story to story. I also need to polish and fine tune the three sea shanties I had written and see if I have it in me to write the Pirate Code for the ship.

The funny thing is that after all this, it goes to my lucky charm proofreader, Bridget, and the real editing and rewriting begins.

In the meantime, I can start writing about another ship, this one set in space and where everyone is a Hell of a lot meaner.

The picture was drawn by Joe Gravel. The guy makes wonderful pirate sketch cards and I wanted something epic from him. He certainly delivered.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Review: Pirate Fairies of the 8th Sea

Pirate Fairies of the 8th Sea is a new black and white comic by George Webber. It features a pretty pirate Captain and her OMG adorable kitten crew. When I opened to a random page of the book and showed it to my wife, she squealed at the cuteness of the pirate kittens. Shit, I was almost squealing too. Their cuteness should be a crime.

There are two things I really loved about this book. First, the art is amazing. There is a high level of detailing that you don't usually see in comics. Every page is a gorgeous piece by itself. The layout is a bit different in that you turn the book sideways to read it. You are flipping pages up to read. This creates an interesting effect of stacking art on top of one another.

The second thing I love about the book is that it takes place in a rather vague child's story universe. The boat is barely big enough for the Capetian to sit in but it works. Although it has no sex, I consider this book to be a spiritual cousin to my Island princess stories in that they read like flights of fancy more than anything else. There is a dream quality to it that makes it terribly fun. Comics should be fun.

You can buy it from the author at the piratical price of Five dollars and shipping here.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Non-fiction: Emotional Freedom

Today is the last day of my job. Holy crap.

The thing about my job is it was something I took when I was in my first marriage because it allowed me to work from home and with my anxiety, that was terribly helpful. My first wife didn't do much to encourage me to leave my protective space and this job, although it sucked, catered to my fears. As I found a new wife, got the mental medication I needed and developed the life skills to become an adult, this job was the last remnant of that old life. It was a job I worked because I had been working it. Like many terrible things, it was just something I never realized that I could make better. By leaving this job, I feel like I have shed the last chain of my crippling past mentality.

With my abundance of free time I plan to pursue such wild and crazy goals like learning new recipes to cook. I plan to get back into yoga. Once I have my life together again, I plan to get back to college.

I also plan to write. Oh my, I will write. The last time I lost a job, I couldn't write for shit due to anxiety, marital stress and more anxiety. Now I am on a lot more medication and I have a kick-ass supportive wife.

Free Advice! If your spouse doesn't support the things you love, leave that asshole.

With this free time, I plan to finally get cracking on the Violatrix book I wanted to do for Christmas. I will also be able to work almost daily on the Farmer's Daughter's Almanac, which I think is going to be a lot of fun. I can also wrap up this Pirates anthology that is soooo close to being done. The best part about quitting is now I can work on the shit I want to do.

I feel like a whole adult now.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Spoiler Free Thoughts on POTC :On Stranger Tides

I saw this POTC: On Stranger Tides on opening day because I was terrified of spoilers. I am also a big fan of pirates in general and I am pretty sure I would be there on opening day even if they remade Treasure Island starring Sarah Palin. I have a fondness and some may say weakness for pirates, so I understand that I am not an unbiased person.

So I watch this movie and I had a pretty fun time. More importantly, I think I felt a sense of relief that it did not suck. I liked POTC: at World’s End when it came out but within the week, my brain started poking holes in it and I found myself wondering why a pirate movie seemed to be 90% talking with little daring action. I think relief is the best way to describe how I feel about the current movie. It was good. It did not suck. It was fun.

A few days later though, I feel like the current movie is missing something. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Jack Sparrow is awesome in his not quite the best pirate/not quite the worse pirate ever. Penelope Cruz and her astounding beauty brings a mature sex appeal that Keira Knightley never had. Iam Mcshane is hilarious as Blackbeard, playing pretty much a supernatural Al Swearengen. Geoffrey Rush is back, and I really enjoy how he may sometimes be the villain, but he is arguably a better pirate than all of them. Everything about the movie was good.

But yet, it feels to me like it lacked something.

I think it lacks the sheer surprise of the first movie. The POTC movie was a shock. A movie about an amusement ride wasn't supposed to be that much fun. Jack Sparrow was an enigma in that first movie. Now he is a favorite uncle. You are always glad to see him, but he is not the amazing pleasant surprise that he was in the first movie. You couldn't imagine Jack Sparrow ahead of time, so when you saw him, he blew your mind. He is the same character now, but now you are just happy to see him. The joy that comes from the surprise can never be recaptured.

Which is what I think is what holds this movie back. It is a sequel and even if it is as good as the first movie, it is what we come to expect. It fails because it can not possibly surprise us unless it surpasses the original. That's a tough fucking thing to do.

I've spent the past year working on a pirate anthology. I am pretty much hip deep in pirates all the time. I worried a little that I might be burnt out on pirates when I saw this movie. Instead,, I enjoyed this movie and it had quite a few bits that I wished I had written. It is a good movie. It is a fun movie. I don't think there is a single thing I would change. The mermaids alone were worth waiting for.

It just can't possibly be as good as we want it to be.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fiction: Today

Today was our last day. The sound of the beach washed over us as she opened the glass door. The morning sun wrapped her naked body in golden light. The wind lifted her short blonde hair, cut to mimic the style of some pop star I have never heard of.

I get out of bed. My cock rises with each step. I had thought that my days of marathon sex were over but I was wrong. I had forgotten how nice breasts could feel under my hand. The sight of my cock disappearing between wanton lips had revived me. The thrill of parting tanned thighs had returned. I had to have her again.

She giggles as I embrace her from behind. My hands go to those perfect breasts that I couldn’t stop kissing. My cock throbs against her back and she giggles some more.

I reach down for her pussy and she moans. She whispers dirty little things that shock me. I stroke her while she makes nasty promises that would make my ex-wife blush. She came to the beach this weekend to find young boys to tease and flirt with but instead she found an older man to fuck her silly.

“Go out on the balcony,” I whisper.

“People will see us!” she protests. I would take her more seriously if she wasn’t grinding against my cock.

“No one is up in the morning except retirees,” I say. “Let them look.”

She laughs and steps out of my embrace. Out onto the balcony she goes. She bends over and rests her arms on the rail. Her legs spread and she wiggles her ass from side to side.

My cock slips in. The oceans roars its approval. Waves crash and my hips slam into her ass.

I grab her hips and give her everything I have. Her body shakes from the impacting of my cock. She whimpers, and then moans before finally screaming.

No one hears her over the wind. No one hears her come twice. No one sees her get down on her knees to swallow my seed.

Tomorrow she goes back to college. Next week I go back to my job.

Today we fuck.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Fiction: Advance Blowjob Exam Excuse

Dear Mr. Jackson,

This is Kimberly from your 10am Advanced Blowjob class. I am asking that I be excused from today’s exams due to a sore jaw. I know that you frequently say that avoiding sore jaws is an important part of giving blowjobs, but really, I have an excellent excuse.

See, last night I knew I need to practice for today’s exam. My roommate, Seth, was more than willing to let me practice on him. I used all the techniques I learned from your class and got him to climax in less than five minutes. Since that wasn’t much practice, I kept sucking him.

It is like you always say Mr. Jackson; “One pop is easy, a true cocksucker can get two pops easily.” I used the ball fondling technique and I rubbed my breasts against his legs till Seth came again. You would have been very impressed, Mr. Jackson!

After practicing on Seth, I decided that I should get to bed early. I went to sleep dressed only in my red nightgown and no panties. I wanted to be aroused all night when I slept so I would be prepared for your exam.

In the middle of the night, three women from Tau Iota Tau broke into my dorm room. Well to be honest, they just knocked and Seth let them in because they were topless. The sorority sisters put a hood over my head and dragged me out to a van.

I was so excited! I had been applying for Tau Iota Tau all week long and now they were going to initiate me!

I probably should have told them that I had a test in the morning but it slipped my mind. It is hard to think straight with a hood over your head and Sorority sisters fondling you.

So we get to the sorority house and they take made me kneel. They took the hood off my head. In front of me were seven guys with their cocks out. Kneeling beside me was another girl and she was wearing some boring ass white jammies. I mean seriously, if you know you might get abducted by Tau Iota Tau, wear something fucking interesting, right?

There were seven guys standing in front of her too.

Anyway, I am breaking a sorority secret even telling you this but since I need an excuse from the exam, I figure it balances out. The sorority girls told me and Boring Jammie girl that there was only room for one new girl and that we would have a suck-off. The first girl to suck seven cocks wins!

Mr. Jackson, I am so glad I took your class! I crawled over on my knees and got right to work. The first guy came so fast in my mouth that I had barely got comfortable. The second guy shot his load when I did that ball licking trick you taught us. The third guy came when I stuck my finger in his ass. The fourth guy took a little while longer but once I started masturbating, he popped like a cannon. The fifth guy was a lot easier and came once I deep throated him. The sixth guy tried to face fuck me so I let him and he came quickly.

The seventh guy was a whole other story. His name was Beer Can and damn, his cock was just as big as one. Just getting it into my mouth was a challenge. He stretched my lips and gagged my throat. I kept sucking though. Your class had taught me a lot and I was going to make you proud. I also wasn’t going to let some skank in white pajamas beat me at cock sucking.

I made Beer Can come. I sucked him down and left enough on my tongue to show the girls of Tau Iota Tau. They sent that other girl back to her dorm and they gave me my own pair of Tau Iota Tau panties. They also made me eat each and every one of them, but since that is not related to your blowjob class, I’ll skip the details on that.

So as you can see Mr. Jackson, I sucked way too much cock last night for today’s exam. I can barely open my jaw. I am including some cell phone pictures that my sorority sisters took of last night to verify my story.

I understand that for the blowjob exams you bring in guys to test the entire class at one time. I understand that allowing me to take the exam at a different time might make it difficult to schedule a cock for me to use. I realize that postponing my exam has complicated things for you.

That is why I wanted you to know that I am perfectly all right with sucking your cock for my exam. In fact, if you are free this weekend, I am sure I will have recovered by then. If you like, I can come by early in the morning so you can have all day to test my mouth. I will even wear my new Tau Iota Tau panties.

And nothing else.

Your student,
Kimberly Yale

Monday, May 09, 2011

Between Her Thighs

The planet Euphoria has an extensive media network for the entertainment and indoctrination of the masses. The criminal justice system is broadcast to the masses so that the population can bet on the survival rates of traitors, killers and people who believe in voting for elected officials. Different sports programs are shown as well as over eight hundred programs to teach sexual proficiency and self improvement for sex workers. No subject is forbidden, except criticism of the Queen.

The most popular show is called “Between Her Thighs”, a weekly update on the lovers of Queen Erishella. Lovers is a term that can apply to people she deign to let kiss her nipple, to people who willing have intercourse with her to prisoners of war who will be used for her amusement.

The show is hosted by the Court Pornographer, a man whose name was burned from historical records as well as his own mind. His job is to monitor and record every sexual encounter of the Queen for future generations to appreciate. The job was created by King Fong who desired murals to be painted of his more spectacular orgies. The current Court Pornographer has been trained on Queen Erishella’s command to have great stage presence and generate high media ratings on his weekly broadcast.

The Court Pornographer witnesses every sexual act of the Queen through his hundreds of robot insects which monitor the Queen at all times. The footage is then processed to sort out state secrets and men with small cocks. Highlights are spliced together and sometimes inspirational music is added. The final product is broadcast for the enjoyment and gratification of the people of Euphoria.

Cultural critics are divided over why ‘Between Her Thighs’ is so popular. Erotica critics say it is because Queen Erishella is the most desirable person on the planet, and video of her face-fucking an enemy of the state is the closest that a citizen will get to fucking the Queen. Educational critics say it is because the cruelty and passion of the Queen is an inspiration to everyone. Political observers say that citizens watch the show in hopes of seeing a missing loved one who has vanished since making treasonous statements. All critics agree that the show improved greatly with the addition of the ‘Queen’s Climax of the Week’ feature.

“Between Her Thighs” airs weekly on Royal Media Channel 6 on Queen’s Day at nightfall with a second airing at midnight.

--Euphorian Gazetteer

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Fiction: Twin Clamps of Death

The thugs led Holly Valentine deeper into the mine. The rough ground hurt her bare feet but she kept her complaints to herself. The silent brutes had kidnapped her from her hotel room, stripped her naked except for her red panties, and tied her hands behind her back. When people do that to you, they usually don’t care about the rocks you are stepping on.

They stopped at a dead end. Holly was relieved that at least there wasn’t a pit to be dropped into. She was a bit concerned about the two flashing boxes that had a suspicious amount of wires coming out of them. The wires led back into the tunnel.

“Holly Valentine, annoying reporter,” a smug voice said. “Bet you wish that you hadn’t have done that article on mine safety now?”

“Jeffery Slag, notorious polluter and well known safety regulation law breaker,” Holly said. “I never regret investigating a scumbag like you. I know all about your plot to bury a hundred workers in a mine collapse and then blame it on terrorists in order to get government money.”

Slag got up from a chair he had been sitting in. He stared at her breasts and talked directly to them.

“That is true,” Slag said, “but you will never publish the story. You are about to disappear under several hundred tons of solid earth. I would like to direct your attention to the two detonators over here.”

“”Awful lack of subtlety, don’t you think?” Holly said. “Won’t people get suspicious when a reporter goes missing?”

“Those damn terrorists,” Slag said. “They hate us for our freedom of speech, don’t you know?”

He walked over to the two detonators. He grabbed something from each of them and walked towards Holly. The cords must have had some serious pull because he grunted as he pulled them the last few feet. The tension of the cords were extreme as he held them.

“The demolition boys cooked this up,” Slag said. “Once they are activated, either detonator will go off if the tension is released. If you want to live, you are going to have to hold them.”

“Awfully hard with my hands behind my back,” Holly said.

“You won’t be using your hands,” Slag said.

He held up the ends of the cords. Each cord ended in a wicked looking clamp. Slag was still looking at her tits.

“Oh shit,” Holly said.

She tried to struggle but the two goons holding her arms kept her still. She couldn’t do a thing as Slag opened one of the clamps and placed it against her right nipple. He let go, and the clamp locked down on her nipple.

“Fuck!” Holly screamed.

As she was still wincing from the pain of the first clamp, Slag quickly snapped the other clamp to her left nipple.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Holly yelled.

“Oh yes, I am rubbing one out tonight,” Slag said. “You got her bra for me, right?”

“Yes sir!” both thugs answered.

“Good,” Slag said. “While you are being blown to bits and your ashes buried forever, I will be jacking off into your bra, Ms. Valentine. Just remember that.”

“Fuck you,” Holly said. The clamps bit into her nipples like angry barracudas. Already she could feel the tremendous pull of the detonators. If the hired help weren’t holding her, Holly wasn’t sure that she would be able to resist their pull.

“One last thing,” Slag said. He pulled a small egg out of his pocket. A click of a button and it began to vibrate.

“Jesus Christ,” Holly said. She had that vibrator. It was a Von Madd Eggsplosion Vibrator. The damn thing would buzz forever on an alternating rhythm until turned off.

Slag opened her panties and pushed the egg down. He groaned as his grubby miner killer fingers pushed the egg into her sex. His fingers lingered a little before pulling out and snapping her panties back over her bush.

“A little something to remember me by,” Slag said.

“Makes sense,” Holly said. “If we had sex, I would have to use to a vibrator to get off.”

Slag growled and raised his hand to slap her. He hesitated, his eyes darting to the two clamps.

“Give me ten minutes to leave the shaft, and then follow,” Slag said to his thugs. “When you let her go, I suggest running.”

Holly tried to think of a witty thing to say as Slag left but her nipples were all she could think about. The clamps were pulling her nipples straight out and her breasts were trying their best to follow. The vibrating egg was also working its magic, turning Holly’s thighs into a quivering mess.

The thugs held her. They were awfully calm.

“Hey guys, save my life and we can have a threesome right here.”

The two thugs laughed. “Bitch, unless you got a cock in those panties, we are not interested.”

Holly cursed. Say what you want about Slag killing his employees and polluting creeks, the bastard didn’t discriminate due to sexual orientation.

The ten minutes passed way too quickly. One of the thug’s watches beeped and they let her go. Holly barely had time to scream before the thugs ran like hell.

The clamps pulled her three steps forward before Holly could dig in her heels enough to stop. Her thighs strained as she tried to keep her body braced. The pain on her nipples was unbearable. The few steps that she had stumbled did nothing to release any pressure.

The damned egg inside her changed vibrations. Now it was pulsing with a lovely heavy vibration that made her slicker than an oil spill inside. Holly moaned as the vibrating egg took her closer and closer to an orgasm.

Holly knew that it was an orgasm that would very well kill her. One good climax and her legs would be jelly. An explosion later, and her whole body would be jelly in a much messier fashion. She had to stop from coming.

Holly focused on her tits. She focused on her poor pale breasts being pulled by the clamps. The pain was easy to focus on; it was like being bitten by two very horny men in a midlife crisis. It was unrelenting. The clamps pulled furiously at her abused nipples.

It occurred to Holly that standing still was doing nothing to help her escape. She had to get out of this. She also had to come because damn, she was wet.

The redhead shook her head. She needed to focus on one thing at a time. First get her hands free, then come. No wait. First get her hands free, then release the clamps and then come and then escape. No wait.

The egg changed vibrations. As if it senses how close she was, it switched a high-power unrelenting pulse. It was a lot like riding a motorcycle. Well, a motorcycle equipped with a cock.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Holly said. The vibrations of the egg was doing funny things to her cunt. The fact that she couldn’t let herself come was only adding to her arousal. Holly cursed her sexuality that was based on doing what she couldn’t do.

Worse, the pain in her nipples was starting to add to the sensations in her pussy. The constant pulling was the most attention Holly’s nipples had in weeks. The clamps might be painful and pulling like crazy, but so are most boyfriends. Or at least, that is what Holly assumed boyfriends do. It had been a long fucking while.

Between the buzzing inside her sex and the pulling of her tits, Holly’s body was becoming electric with sensations. Too bad she had to strain her leg muscles to keep her body still and prevent an explosion. She would have given anything to get her hands free and stroke herself. Holly had a feeling that seconds would be enough to come.

“Fuck, I should really be working on escaping,” Holly said. The thugs had used simple rope on her wrists. To an investigative reporter like Holly, it was almost insulting. The woman got captured so often that she was becoming an expert on all the different ways wrists could be tied.

She could tell it was a simple crossover knot with a double frog twist. Holly flexed and turned her wrist to begin loosening the knots. Her shoulders rolled and her elbows flexed as she worked the complex maneuvers needed to escape.

The mother fucking egg switched vibrations again. Now it was doing two light pulses followed by a third heavy pulse. It was such a simple combination. It was barely a teaser. If Holly wasn’t in such a heightened state, she doubted that she would even notice it. Unfortunately, it was going to make her come.

“Oh fuck!” Holly said. She could feel her climax coming. Her knees shook. Her nipples ached from the extreme pulling. If she came, she was going to collapse.

She shouldn’t come.

She shouldn’t come.

She shouldn’t come.

She absolutely must not come.

Holly climaxed. Just resisting the climax made it come faster. Her pussy clenched in delicious spasm around the vibrating egg. The pain in her breasts added to the climax; the pain mixing with the pleasure in a cocktail of sensations.

Miraculously, Holly was still standing. Her thighs shook but her legs held strong. Fuck, all that running from corporate security had paid off.

Now she had to get the fuck out of here. After climaxing, she had a good four minutes before she would come again. Holly twisted her hands like never before. All the twisting and moving caused her chest to keep pulling on the cords but Holly took it. More pain was just an incentive to keep going.

She almost had one hand loose with disaster struck. Her pussy was ready for another orgasm. Holly gasped at her body’s betrayal. Her tits were on fire and her nipples felt like they had been bitten off but Holly’s body was ready to climax again. As much as her knees were shaking, she knew she had no chance of surviving another orgasm.

Also, that cocksucking vibrator changed pulses again. It was doing a racing crescendo of vibrations followed by a powering down before ramping up again.

“Von Madd sex toys are going to be the death of me,” Holly said.

Seconds later, she got a wrist free. Holly didn’t give a fuck about the ropes around the other wrist. Now that she had both hands free, she could get rid of those damn clamps.

Holly reached for the right breast first. As carefully as she could, she grabbed the clamp and forced it open. It reluctantly gave up her abused nipple.

Pain blinded her as the blood came rushing back into the nipple. Holly gasped as the pain in her nipple grew worse instead of better. She nearly fell over but managed to keep her balance.

“Holy shit,” she groaned.

The vibrator kept pulsing. She looked down at her panties and saw that they were soaked. She also looked down at her poor nipple that was rapidly turning purple.

Now she had to do the other nipple. Still holding onto the one cord, Holly slowly opened the other clamp. She was expecting the pain this time but it was still overwhelming. It felt like her entire body was only made up of sore nipples and a vibrating pussy. It was a wonder that she didn’t pass out with bliss and pain.

Both cords in hand, Holly looked around for something to hook the clamps too. Solid rock didn’t give her many options. She noticed a wooden support beam on the wall. Despite the pain in her tits and the humming between her legs, Holly took three more steps. Her arms shook as she pulled the clamps to the wooden beam. She opened the clamps and pressed them to the corner of the beam.

The clamps held. The cords shook with tension. One of the clamps moved a fraction of an inch as it dragged across the wood.

Holly started running. There was no telling how long the clamps would hold. Three steps into her run, she realized that she should have taken the vibrating egg out. Hell, she should have taken it out before she attached the clamps to the beam. There was no time for it now. Holly just had to run as fast as she could with a vibrator inside her.

Five steps into her run; she understood just how much her tits really hurt. Her heavy breasts swung with every step and her sensitive flesh cried out with each jostle, jiggle and jump. As tender as her nipples were, every running step was like having her tits slapped.

Holly ran for her life. The tunnel seemed endless but at least it was just going one way. She sprinted across hard rock. Her mind was wondering how long the clamps could hold but her body was thinking about the clamps and the vibrating egg. She was ramping up to another orgasm, she just knew it.

Could a woman climax while running? Holly didn’t think it was possible. Her body seemed to disagree.

A terrible noise erupted behind her. A blast of air took Holly off her feet and slammed her into a wall. The rumble of rock filled the tunnel with a deafening crash. A black swarm of dust flew at her and coated her in grimy particles.

Holly was alive. In fact, she could see the exit of the tunnel back into the beautiful night sky. She made it.

The reporter reached between her legs. Carefully, she cupped an abused breast and gave it a tender squeeze. Her nipple was so damn sore but now that the threat of death was gone, Holly could savor the pain.

It took her less than a minute to climax again. Grateful to be alive, Holly kept stroking. The story could wait till tomorrow.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Dirty Books: Bridgett Bonds: Grrl Trap

"Bridgett Bonds: Grrl Trap" by S. Sneakly tells the story of a pop starlet with dark lesbian fantasies that conflicts with her sweet public persona. Sadly for her, she is worth more to her record company dead than alive. She is targeted for death but being the music industry, her death is planned to be as tawdry and scandalous as possible.

Lucky for Bridgett, her death is scheduled to be at the hands of Grrl Traps, a trio of villainous dykes with a fondness for bondage. Death traps, bondage, licking and fondling invade her safe world. Bridgett must not only endure her greatest fantasies, but she must survive them to get revenge on the band who are trying to kill her.

Holy shit, did I love this book. I have always enjoyed Damsels-in-Distress but 95% of the fiction produced is quite campy and often stupid. These stories also tend towards a hatred of women that is is psychologically disturbing to read. The author avoids these pitfalls by writing a damn good story. The main character fantasizes about losing control of her perfect life and surrendering to imaginary enemies. When real enemies try to kill her, she is both seduced by the danger as well as galvanized to protect herself. It is the rare book where the main character grows during the novel.

I also have to say that I am terribly impressed by how S. Sneakly manages to tell a great adventure story while at the same time writing an awesome work of erotica. Most writers can manage one or the other but S. Sneakly does both. I have long since grown out of enjoying lesbian fiction but damn, these scenes made me feel like a teenager again with the heat involved. The plot of the story is gripping and believable, which is awfully hard to do in peril fiction.

I should also add that humor pervades the entire book. Not many erotica books make me laugh out loud but off the top of my head I can still recall three favorites jokes. Considering that this is a story where the main character is threatened with brutal deaths on a regular basis, the humor becomes an important tension breaker. It prevents the book from turning into a grim slasher movie and turns it into the greatest late night b-movie ever.

You should buy this book. If you love ANY of my stories, you will want this book. This story is the kind of thing I wish I had written It is only available as an ebook, which is a crying shame as I want it on my shelf. It is available at Extasy Books for the outrageously low price of $5.39

Buy Bridgett Bonds: Grrl Trap

I give it Five out of Five Pam Griers