League of Extraordinary Pornographers: Episode 87

The ship exploded above me. I was falling to my death but at least the Squid-Men of the Secret Censors of Atlantis weren't going back home either. Hopefully the other members of the Extraordinary League of Pornographers would be able to stop their plans.

I looked at the ground. It seemed so far away but since I was in complete free fall, I knew it would all be over soon. My only regret was that I was butt-naked. I'd hate to land in front of someone and traumatize them with my nude splat.

I heard something above me. As I kept falling, I turned my body around to look up. I couldn't beleive my eyes.

It was the Stripper/Escort/Camgirl/Exhibitionist College Student! She had survived the explosion! She was naked too, except she was wearing a metal harness around her young breasts. It must be one of those anti-gravity devices that the Secret Censors use. Good, I was relieved that she would survive.

The Stripper/Escort/Camgirl/Exhibitionist College Student had her arms together and she was diving towards me. Damn, she was trying to save me but it wouldn't work. The harness only works on the body it is around. Holding me would be useless. The anti-gravity field wouldn't extend around me.

As she got closer, I could hear what she was yelling. "Go hard!"

What? You are suppossed to go limp while falling although at this height it doesn't really matter.

"Go hard!" she yelled again. I noticed she was stroking herself.

Holy shit. It just might work. The field might extend around me if I was inside her.

I stroked my cock as fast as I could. We were both falling at terminal velocity as we plummeted through the sky but I had to get an erection. The Stripper/Escort/Camgirl/Exhibitionist College Student had to get wet enough to allow me in. Both our lives depended on achieving copulation before hitting the ground.

Stripper/Escort/Camgirl/Exhibitionist College Student flipped her body around and spread her legs. I pointed my cock towards her waiting sex. The air whipped around us but I focused on her smooth skin and the thought of imminent penetration.

She slipped right onto my cock. Her legs wrapped around me right as I wrapped my arms around her back. Her mouth locked onto mine and we kissed. I know she's a Stripper/Escort/Camgirl/Exhibitionist College Student but when she kissed me it was as apassionate as if we were in love. I don't know if kissing was necessary for the plan but fuck, if we were going to die let's do it right.

The anti-gravity field kicked in. Our descent slowed down considerably. Our fucking did not.

"You can't come till we reach the ground," the Stripper/Escort/Camgirl/Exhibitionist College Student groaned. "If you go limp, you'll slip out."

"That is going to be tricky," I admitted.

It was going to be an interesting couple of thousand feet.

Fiction: The Three Pirate Captains

Once upon a time there was a beautiful Island. It was filled with many great treasures. Oyster Bay was overflowing with pearls. The old volcano regularly belched forth not lava, but gold nuggets. The very trees themselves grew many rare and exotic spices. The wealth of the island allowed the Island King to spoil his Island Princess in many extravagant ways.

The Island Princess herself was the greatest treasure. She was the most beautiful Princess in the world. She had long black color the color of the night sky. Her breasts were as plentiful as grandest pineapple. The color of her skin was the same as rich Island chocolate. Never had such a gorgeous Princess ever been born before.

She was so beautiful in fact that her father refused to allow her to sunbathe naked in public. The last time she did; three island villagers fainted from the pure glory of it. To accommodate her father’s wishes and prevent fainting spells on the Island, the Island Princess would go to the far side of the Island to sunbathe. There she would strip down naked and stretch herself out on the pristine sand.

One day while the Island Princess was sunbathing, a terrible pirate ship came to distant side of the Island. The ship was known as ‘The Ass-Fucker’ and it was the most dreaded ship on the seven seas. It used to be captained by the great woman pirate, Bloody Penolope, but she passed away. Now she left the ship to her three sons who co-captain the ship together.

You may think it odd that three brothers would be co-captains on the same ship but you didn’t know their mother. Bloody Penelope ruled her children with an iron fist and a firm leather boot. She made all three of them swear a vow to share all treasure equally and to never lie to one another. It was on this promise that the three brothers were able to keep their ship and their successful careers as marauders of the ocean.

So when the three brothers found the wonderful island, their first thought was to plunder it equally. They could tell from their spyglasses how beautiful the island was but not until they landed on the beach did they realize just how perfect it was. Why, the sand itself was quite valuable in certain aquariums around the world!

The three pirate Captains walked on the beach and made their plans.

“I shall scout the beach to the west!” snarled Captain Big Cock Chuck.

“I shall search the forest in front of our skiff!” growled Captain Bigger Cock Dirk.

“I shall search the beach to the east!” sneered Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank.

And so the three pirates split up. Now it just so happened that the Island Princess was sunbathing in a little cove to the west of their landing skiff. The sun’s rays were baking her body to an even shade of glorious brown. The gentle waves of the ocean splashed against the fragile sands of the cove. Because it was so quiet and restful, the Island Princess could hear the swearing pirate, Captain Big Cock Chuck long before he reached her.

Because she was quite bored, she decided to see what the fuss with the pirate was. She could tell he was a pirate because he had an eye patch, a big hat and shiny buckles on his boots. Better yet, she could tell from his tight pants that he was very well armed indeed.

“Ahoy, Pirate!” the Island Princess cried.

“Holy shit,” the Captain said. “She is plum stark nakers! Who are you, lass? I am Captain Big Cock Chuck!”

The Island princess liked the sound of that name. “I am the Princess of this Island. What are your intentions here, Captain Big Cock Chuck?”

“We are going to steal all the pearls out of oyster bay! We are going to mine the gold out of your old volcano! We are going to have dirty sex with your men and womenfolk depending on the sexual orientation of our individual crewmembers!”

“Oh my!” the Island Princess said. “I assume I am to be violated as well?”

Captain Big Cock Chuck leered at her with his one good eye. “Aye! Me and my brothers will do you something special!”

The Island Princess blushed with imminent humiliation. “All three of you? How terrible!”

The Captain chuckled at her terror. His chuckles died as she crawled over to him in the sand. She got up on her knees and looked at him with her beautiful eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to use me terribly right now?” the Island Princess asked.

“Uh, well, you see, I can’t,” he replied. “My brothers and I swore an oath we did. Share and share equally so help us God.”

The Island Princess leaned back. She presented her sex for his questing eyes. Her fingers played with her moist cove that was hidden between her thick bush of hair.

“Oh I’m sorry,” she said with a moan. “I thought you were the kind of Captain who knew how to turn a princess into a woman.”

Captain Big Cock Chuck looked down at her fingers. He looked down on her large heaving bosom. He licked his lips and looked at her body as she bent backwards.

“Damn the oath!” Captain Big Cock Chuck yelled. He dropped his trousers and pulled his manhood out.

“By the volcano!” the Island Princess said. “It is a big cock!” Although in truth, the Island Princess had seen bigger.

“Damn right!” he said.

Captain Big Cock Chuck dropped down on her nude body. The Island Princess happily fell on her back and opened her legs for him. She grabbed her ankles and spread herself very wide and since she was a princess, it was a very wide spread indeed.

The Captain sunk his cock into her. He was surprised when she took every inch of his monstrous cock. He was more surprised when she beamed the biggest smile at him.

“Don’t hold back on me,” the Island Princess said. “Make me a woman before your brothers have me!”

Captain Big Cock Chuck obeyed. He fucked the Island Princess on the beach like a man two years at sea. In and out, he pounded away at her sex like a cannon barrage. He watched every bounce of her magnificent breasts as he fucked. He couldn’t believe how the Island Princess kept holding on to her ankles the entire time.

“That’s royalty for you,” he said to himself. “A real lady keeps her legs open when a man is working.”

It had been so long since he had a woman all to himself, he made sure to enjoy every thrust inside her wonderful cunt. In time he finally climaxed. Captain Big Cock Chuck released his seed inside her with a pirate’s yell.

One minute later, he was fast asleep on the beach.

Now you would think the Island Princess would use this lucky nap as a chance to go back to her people. She could warn her father so they could prepare a counter-attack. She could run to the Island Witch and watch her cast a big spell to sink the pirates.

You would be wrong. An Island Princess takes care of her own problems. Especially if there is cock involved.

The Island Princess walked in the direction that Captain Big Cock Chuck came from. She found the skiff he landed on and she saw the other two sets of footprints. She decided to go into the woods first.

It wasn’t hard to track the second pirate. He chopped down bushes, pushed over slow moving monkeys and carved dirty words into the trees. Eventually she found the second Captain sitting on a fallen log and resting his one good leg. His other leg was a big firm peg leg.

The Island Princess stumbled over a branch in a very dramatic manner. She landed right in front of the pirate with her ass high up in the air. When she looked up at him, she screamed in terror.

“Ah!” she cried. “Who are you?”

“I am Captain Bigger Cock Dirk!” the pirate bragged,

“Are you going to grope my breasts and molest my mouth?” the Island Princess whimpered. “Are you going to take away my innocence with a savage fucking of my face? Are you going to make me swallow every drop?”

Captain Bigger Cock Dirk groaned. “Well, I plan to lass as soon as I take you back to my brothers. We share everything!”

The Island Princess let out a sigh of relief. “Oh goodness. I thought I was about to be disgraced by a pirate but I see now you are as tame as a land dwelling sales clerk.”

The fierce Captain let out a roar of indignation. “I’ll show you who’s tame!”

The Island Princess squealed as the Captain stood on his peg leg and pulled down his pants. Out came a kraken of cock, already engorged with lust.

“By the volcano!” the Island Princess said. “It really is a bigger cock!” Although in truth, the Island Princess had seen bigger.

Captain Bigger Cock Dirk barked a nasty laugh as he grabbed the Island Princess by the hair. He rammed his cock at her mouth at full speed. He was surprised when not only did she part her full lips for his cock, but she had no trouble taking every bit of his massive weapon. She even had enough room left over to stick her tongue out of her mouth and lick his balls!

The lusty Captain was amazed as the Island Princess didn’t need him to hold her head. She moved up and down his cock like a seaport whore working for breakfast. He reached down and grabbed a handful of her magnificent breasts. No matter how hard he squeezed, the Island Princess didn’t slow down a bit.

Captain Bigger Cock Dirk had a momentary flash of doubt. It was wrong of him to take this woman without his brothers. He realized that he should stop her now before it was too late. Unfortunately for the Captain, the Island Princess was looking up him with her big brown eyes. With his cock still in her mouth, she smiled at him.

Captain Bigger Cock Dirk climaxed like a cannon blast. His peg leg shook as he tried to keep his balance. The Island Princess clung to his cock and swallowed down every drop. He was a Captain after all.

“Oh lass, that was good,” the tired Captain said. The Island Princess helped him sit back down on the log. “You wore me down.”

Twenty seconds later, Captain Bigger Cock Dirk was snoring on the log.

The Island Princess licked his seed from her lips and went back to the beach. There she found another pirate Captain waiting by the skiff. He looked to be the most dangerous of them all. He had two hook hands and a lack of a shirt to show off the naughty tattoo of a mermaid on his chest. Like his brothers, he wore very tight pants that revealed a very impressive bulge.

“Hello!” the Island Princess called out. “Are you a friendly sailor come to sunbathe on the beach?”

The lusty pirate looked at the Island Princess’s nude body. He ran a hook through his thick beard.

“No, pretty lass!” he yelled. “I’m Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank and I will make you my wench!”

The Island Princess kept walking towards the pirate. Her hips swayed with every step on the soft sand. Her long black hair whipped behind her in the wind.

“Oh no!” the Island Princess said. “Are you going to make me wrap my big breasts around your cock till you shower me with your dirty seed?”

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank shook his head. “Nay, I have to share you with my brothers. We will wait till they get back.”

The Island Princess pouted. “You mean you won’t make me take your big cock in my mouth and suck you till you come?”

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank shook his head. “I promised my dear old mom to share and share alike.”

The Island Princess stood before him. The sun shone down on the sweat on her body and gave her a bright shine. “You mean you won’ bend me over and fuck me in the ass like a real scoundrel?”

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank bit his lip. “Well, maybe just a little bit.”

“Oh please be careful!” the Island Princess said as she threw herself over the side of the skiff. She reached behind and cupped her round ass.

“I have never been fucked there before,” she lied.

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank laughed as she dropped his pants. He took his galleon sized cock and placed it at the tip of her ass.

“By the volcano!” the Island Princess yelled. “That is a fucking big cock!” she said and this time she was telling the truth.

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank pushed inside her tight ass. The Island Princess groaned as her bottom was slowly opened wider and wider. Her toes dug into the sand and her hands clenched the wooden skiff for dear life. She gritted her teeth until he was finally completely inside her.

That’s when Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank started to fuck her. His hooks scratched her back as his hips increased to ramming speed. The sound of her ass being slapped by his thighs drowned out the roar of the ocean waves. The Captain was ruthless as he plundered her booty.

The Island Princess moaned as she was mauled in such a thorough manner. Her nipples grew hard and her sex flowed with desire. She reached between her legs and within two strokes; she climaxed with a delicate scream of passion.

The scream was enough to send Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank into bliss. His cock burst forth and filled her ass with his seed. The Captain trembled as he felt the Island Princess’s ass clench hard around his spurting member.

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank slid out of her ass with a satisfied grin on his face. He sat down beside the skiff and fell asleep in five seconds. He enjoyed a wonderful dream about a girl dancing under the moon when he was rudely awakened by a kick to the chest.

Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank awoke to see his two brothers standing before him. They both had a strange look on their faces. It was something like content on their faces.

“What are you doing sleeping with your pants down?” Captain Big Cock Chuck said.

“Arr. and why do you have that goofy look on your face?” Captain Bigger Cock Dirk said.

“I have a goofy look?” roared Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank. “You two looked like you did when we fucked our first damsel.”

Captain Big Cock Chuck’s face turned red with anger. “You fucked an Island girl by yourself! I know it!”

“Oh?” Captain Bigger Cock dirk said. “And how would you happen you know that pray tell?”

“Like you wouldn’t know!” snapped Captain Fucking Big Cock Hank. “It is as plain on your face that you know exactly what that is like!”

The three brothers squabbled and swore at each other. They got back in the skiff and rowed back to their ship, swearing never to work together again. They eventually returned to the mainland where each of them took over a major telecommunications company and they still wage their feud to this day.

As for the Island Princess, she watched all of their fighting from the trees nearby. When they had safely sailed away, the Island Princess went back to the beach and stretched out on the soft sand. She watched the sun set on the ship as it sailed away.

The Island Princess reached down between her legs and idly played with her sex. Today it was pirates, yesterday it was resort developers and tomorrow it might be armed contractors looking to liberate the island from royal rule. It didn’t matter. The Island Princess would do anything to protect her home.

Especially if it means she gets to fuck a lot.

Fiction: Deserving.

Claire Currie waited for punishment. She kneeled on the seat of the chair, resting her hands on its back. She wasn’t wearing a skirt or her thong. Every inch of her round black ass was exposed. When the spanking begins, she would be expected to hold this pose without moving a muscle.

She deserved the punishment. Her boss, Mr. Dillon, has required of her to study bestiality fiction of the 1960’s. She wasn’t fond of the stories she was forced to read and it showed in her testing. Claire could only identify four of the sixteen trends of the genre. She could name two authors. She could not identify the significance of a pig’s penis. For a librarian of erotic books, she had performed atrociously.

So here she waited. Mr. Dillon might use a belt. He might use his hand. For her lack of performance, he may even use one of his personal paddles. Claire knew the paddles hurt the worse. They were not designed for pleasure, but for discipline.

There might be sex. Mr. Dillon might fuck her mouth when her ass was a stinging mess of battered nerve endings. He may just as easily have her cunt or her ass. Claire’s entire body was at his service, but it would not temper the punishment. No, the sex was just something he indulged in.

Claire clenched her buttocks in anticipation. She felt her glasses slipping down her nose but she dared not move. Mr. Dillon was behind her. He might be watching. He might be napping for all she knew. It didn’t change anything. Claire would keep the pose he commanded.

The worse thing about it all was that Claire knew she deserved it. She was a librarian and whether she cared for a topic or not she had a duty to know all forms of erotica. As a librarian, Mr. Dillon expected better from her. The waiting, the spanking and the undoubtedly rough sex that was to follow were all things she deserved. Claire knew it.

So she waited. Before Mr. Dillon had taken a single step towards her, Claire had already resolved to never flinch from a topic again. Before he had grabbed the back of her hair, Claire had resolved to take her duties more seriously. Before the first swoosh of the paddle cutting through the air, Claire had decided that she would never fail Mr. Dillon again.

When the paddle smacked into her ass, Claire moaned with absolution.

Hell is Other Demons

Solium Infernum is my latest game obsession. You play an Archfiend of Hell competing against other Archfeinds for the right to rule Hell. It is a turn based strategy game like something damned souls of Avaolon Hill designers would play in Hell. In other words, it is genius. Well, inscrutable, bewildering and mad genius but have no doubt, genius nonetheless.

I promise this all relates back to porn so bear with me.

Solium is a highly special kind of game. There is no fancy computer animation but there is a lot of beautiful art. Every single legion, artifact, ritual etc has a unique art piece. Every thing has its own flavor text too, imbuing the entire world of Hell with a rich history that is only hinted at. What it lacks in bells and whistles it makes up for with incredible detail.

As for the game itself, it plays like an old fashioned board game from the Golden age of war games. The rules here are dense. The options are immense but making sense of it is a bitch. I can't stress enough how much depth there is but I also can't stress how overwhelming it is as well. Like all things of brilliance, you either hate it or love it.

The game was designed by one man, Vic Davies. It is his baby. It has all the things he loves and all the things he wanted. It carries his affection for diversity as well as his supernatural scorn for a tutorial. You look at this game and you feel like you know him personally.

Which brings me to porn. I look at Solium Infernum and and I see something really special. I try to figure out what makes it special and I can only come to the conclusion that it is special because it is exactly what Vic wanted it to be. Because he doesn't work for a big game company, he didn't need to have 3-D graphics. Because he is a big board game nerd, he was able to make a game only a board game nerd could love. Because he is smart, he made a game for smart people.

The thing is, he made exactly what he wanted and it is brilliant. In porn however we often spend a lot of time making what we think other people want. I feel BDSM fiction especially goes through some sort of pre-approval system at times. People create a lot of porn that looks a lot like other porn because they think that's what people want. I think sometimes what people want is to see what YOU, the writer want.

I know I have been preaching this line of thought a lot. I can't help it. I see a game like Solium Infernum and I know it might never be a big money maker but it is a work of art, pure and simple. I want to make things as beautiful as that game. I think we all can and I think we all should.

Fiction: The Year We Come

Dr. Carla Heppins disapproved. As the head of NASA’s research department, she enjoyed commanding the latest in technology and knowledge about space. The idea of bringing in an outside expert annoyed her to her core.

Worse, it had to be that infamous mad scientist pervert, Dr. Otto Von Madd. The crackpot doctor made sextoys for Christ’s sake.

Dr. Heppins watched him walk through security and shook her head. He was wearing a labcoat like the NASA compound was his own lab. He was also wearing large purple goggles that made him look like a character from a cheap movie. His short hair was a mess like it hadn’t been combed since he got out of the shower. This was the famous expert on sexuality?

“Dr. Heppins!” Dr. Von Madd said as he approached her. “It is so nice to see you. I enjoyed your paper on structural stability regarding orbital re-entries.”

The NASA scientist was taken back. She had to admit that Von Madd had a friendly manner so unlike many geniuses she had met.

“You read my paper?” she asked.

“Of course,” Dr. Von Madd said. “It was very useful when we were trying to design a high durability dildo for extremely tight asses.”

“Of course,” Dr. Heppins said with a trace of scorn. “I want to get one thing straight, Dr. Von Madd. I didn’t want to call you in but my bosses insisted. Apparently you have impressed them with your pseudo science of sexuality but I am not. I just need you to take a look at the damn thing, give us your opinion and then go. Am I understood?”

Dr. Von Madd was still smiling. “Certainly. I am ready to see the Artifact now.”

They entered a secure vault. Sitting on a steel pedestal was the damn object in question. It had the shape of an eight inch dildo. It was pitch black with what looked like tiny stars orbiting inside it.

Dr. Von Madd bent down to peer at it with his inscrutable purple goggles. “Amazing, where did you find it?”

“On the last space shuttle mission,” Dr. Heppins started to explain. “Captain Pamela Nickels was on a space walk and this thing bumped into her. She took it back with her and presented it to us. We can’t determine what it is made of and for that matter; we can’t seem to break off a piece for study. We thought it might be one of yours.”

Dr. Von Madd shook his head. “No. We do have a research station in orbit but we don’t eject sex toys into orbit. I would be proud to claim such a magnificent example of a dildo but I am afraid this wasn’t made by anyone on Earth.”

Dr. Heppins smirked. “How can you be sure of that?”

“Because Doctor,” he said. “I know every dildo, vibrator and vaginal insertion toy made by current society. It is my specialty. This was made by something extraterrestrial.”

“Ridiculous,” Dr. Heppins snapped. “If there was alien life, and we have seen no evidence of it, then why in the world would they make a dildo that is the perfect size for a human female?”

“Or male, don’t be sexist,” Dr. Von Madd said. “And the answer is simple really. If I wanted to communicate with an alien species, I would first try to get their attention. Sex is the best way to make a species notice you.”

“Well okay,” Dr. Heppins said. “Thank you so much for your expert opinion. You may leave now.”

Dr. Von Madd ignored her. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Dr. Heppins asked.

“It sounded like a moan,” Dr. Von Madd said. “My goggles are detecting an increase in energy waves emanating from it. I can’t identify it. Dr. Heppins, we should evacuate the compound.”

“Call me Carla,” Dr. Heppins said. “Has anyone ever told you how sexy your hair is? I thought it was messy but now it just reminds of wild sex.”

Dr. Von Madd looked at her. “Dr. Heppins, I think the Artifact is having an effect on you. Ten minutes ago you thought I was a crazy quack.”

“Maybe your innate sexual charm has seduced me?” Dr. Heppins said. “And please, call me Carla.”

“Although it has been proven that I do possess innate sexual charm, Carla” Dr. Von Madd said, “I suspect it is the result of the Artifact in this situation.”

“Fuck me, Doctor,” Dr. Heppins said. She grabbed his arm. “Do your weird sexy science on me!”

“Well of course, Carla,” Dr. Von Madd. “Why don’t you strip down and start fingering yourself? I want to check on something and then I will be right back. Is that okay, Carla?”

“Yes!” Dr. Heppins said. “And please, call me your dog!”

“Ah,” Dr. Von Madd said. “One moment.”

Dr. Von Madd stepped outside the vault. Two security guards with absolutely no signs of being homosexual were giving each other handjobs. A female janitor was mounting a broomstick. Further down the hall, three female scientists were engaging in a very spirited orgy.

He stepped back into the vault. Dr. Heppins was completely naked and true to his request, was fingering herself quite vigorously. Dr. Von Madd was impressed. He had estimated that she was a three finger woman but she had four fingers inside her quite easily.

“Fuck me!” Dr. Heppins cried.

Dr. Von Madd nodded. “Turn around and bend over,” he said.

Dr. Heppins turned around. Dr. Von Madd had a plan but he nearly forgot it when he saw the perfect apple of Dr. Heppins’ ass. The curves of her bottom were pretty close to his Ass Index Scale of Perfection.

Dr. Von Madd resisted his urges. Instead he picked up the Artifact and placed it at her sex.

“Oh, it’s cold!” Dr. Heppins said.

“I’ll be gentle, dog,” Dr. Von Madd said.

He slid the Artifact into her. It shuddered in his hand as it slowly sunk into her wet cunt. The coldness of the strange metal faded away and was replaced with an amazing amount of heat.

“Ah!” Dr. Heppins smoaned. “I feel strange!”

Dr. Von Madd fucked her with the Artifact. He used a simple thrusting rhythm calculated to bring her the most possible pleasure. Dr. Heppins pushed back on the Artifact, humping it as she stayed bent over.

“What are you feeling?” Dr. Von Madd asked.

“I feel nicer,” Dr. Heppins said. “I feel as if I had been mean to other people and mean to myself. I feel like I have been denying myself all my life. I should be fucking. I should be fucking other people. I should be fucking myself. Oh! Oh! I am so close!”

Dr. Von Madd fucked her faster. Dr. Heppins began to shake and when she climaxed she screamed with pure joy.

Dr. Heppins fell to the floor with a big smile on her face. Dr. Von Madd noticed that the Artifact was no longer emitting those strange waves.

He took his lab coat off and laid it over Dr. Heppins’ nude body. She was still smiling. She looked up at him with bliss on her face.

“I came so hard I saw stars,” she whispered.

“I think this proves my theory on the Artifact being an alien message,” Dr. Von Madd said. “Apparently it wants us to relax and fuck more. It is a noble message.”

“It didn’t seem to affect you?” Dr. Heppins said. “Why is that? Why did it only come on now?”

Dr. Von Madd shrugged. “I can only hypothesize that is was only designed to activate when in the presence of an already sexually enlightened person.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Dr. Heppins said. “What is the point of sexually illuminating the already sexual?”

“That I can not tell you,” Dr. Von Madd said. “The question now is what will NASA do with the thing?”

Dr. Heppins touched herself again. “We’ll figure out something.”

Personal Day

Today on my blog I would like to take a personal day and talk about myself.

As a white man married to a brown woman, I feel indebted to Martin Luther King Jr. and the work he did for this kind of reality to exist. We are not a perfect society but I shudder to think of where we would be without him.

On a work note, my boss was fired and I was not. It is not that we did anything wrong as much as our CEO felt he could save money by firing the more experienced person as opposed to what I would have done which is fire the less experienced person and make the other person work more. I am sad to see my boss and friend go. I am also going through a weird survivor guilt thing where I feel guilty for not being fired. It has certainly filled my thoughts this weekend.

On a hobby note, my 'Prisoner of the Wizard's Harem' is being savagely ripped through by proofreaders with better grammar then me. Today I am editing a draft of 'Cell Phone Slave' that will need to be ripped apart by said proofreaders. The way things are working out I suspect both books might be out in February. I apologize for the delays but I just want them to be perfect.

On a selfish note, I am enjoying the Hell out of Overlord right now. I bought the game off Steam at a discount but if I knew how much fun it was I would have totally paid full price. You play a dark lord who leads an army of the cutest minions you have ever seen. It is less of a war game and more of a puzzle solving game with horrible little creatures.

On a marketing note, may I recommend you check out my fiction blog, 'Still alive in Atlanta'. It posts every day rise or shine. Jimmy Varn fights every day to stay alive in a zombie apocalypse. That's topical, right?

Dirtys Nights with Dr. Otto Von Madd

Dr. Otto Von Madd here and I would like to talk about my absence from this blog. Some of you may have thought that Shon stopped chronicling my adventures because he was obsessed with evil space Queens. Well it is true that Shon is in the early stages of feminine worship but the truth of the matter is that he couldn't write stories about me because of a confidentiality agreement I signed with NBC.

Last year I was approached by the executives of NBC to host a late night show they were going to secretly replace Conan O'Brian with. It was going to be called "Dirty Nights with Dr. Otto Von Madd". It was an experiment in trying to be extremely racy and perverse in order to combat the smut on cable and the 700 Club.

My show would open with me performing a topical monologue about current event sna recent advances in science. It would also feature me getting a blowjob from a lucky member of the audience while I performed the monologue. If I climax before the monologue was over, the audience member would receive a new car. If I finished my monologue first, the audience member would have to perform oral sex on every member of the audience. Everyone wins!

I would have a band of topless female musicians. I would have a bottomless drummer who would use his massive member to play the drums. I assured NBC this would bring in that crucial 18-65 gay male demographic.

I would have the usual celebrity guests but since I have a low tolerance for popular culture there will be some changes. If a celebrity appears purely to plug their latest movie, show or book, then they have to wear the Shameless Promotion Butt-Plug in full view of the audience. Oscar season was going to be fascinating.

I won't do any gimmicky top ten lists or mocking the intelligences of people on the streets. Instead I will engage in nightly experiments of the latest in sex toy technology. I will try out new paddles on aspiring actresses. Stuffy political pundits will endure the latest in ball squeezing technology. Reality Show stars will be bound into amazing positions. Science would always come first. Well, unless that lucky audience member wins herself a car.

Sadly all of this work on my part was for nothing. NBC was traumatized by my pilot show. One executive said it made his pants feel funny and another executive said that he was going to leave his wife. I am not sure why I am to blame for this but they offered to move my show to a 4am time slot. It is my understand that they hope to replace my show with one where mediums try to channel the spirit of Johnny Carson. I declined and took a 500 million dollar payout.

Oh well. I will use that money to fund my space station project. Let this be a lesson to scientists everywhere: television sucks.

Fiction: The Right Bribe

Chief Scientist Xor was the greatest intellect of the Euphorian Empire and personal adviser to Queen Erishella herself. He held his exalted position for over three hundred years. Xor had served the Queen’s Grandfather, her father and now her. At this point, he was as much the property of the Queen as the Skull Throne itself.

Xor’s official job was to coordinate all of the science academies and brain slaves towards the glory of the kingdom. Some of the side benefits have been the extensive organ transplanting surgery which has given him his long life. It allowed him to transfer his first wife’s consciousness into his computers so that she could continue to aid him in his research. It also provided him with a cock and sex drive of a seventeen year old male.

The Chief Scientist’s unofficial job was in the declining of bribes.

“A message for you,” Lonni informed him. The miracle of being transferred to a computer meant she never lost that lovely accent of hers.

“On screen,” Xor said. He didn’t look up from the plasma weapon he was tinkering with.

“Chief Scientists Xor, greetings,” the man on the vidscreen said.

“Admiral,” what can I do for you?” Xor said.

“I heard you were working on a new weapon for the army. I was wondering if you could help the Space Navy stay competitive with their brethren.”

Chief Scientist Xor chuckled. “Queen Erishella would rather I didn’t. You know as well as I do that the Queen forbids the latest hand weapon technology to the Navy.”

“I am aware of what the Queen desires,” the Admirial said. “I was hoping that perhaps twenty new slaves from the Gem Moons would sway you to reconsider. All of them are recently captured and ripe for whatever you desire.”

“Tempting,” Chief Scientist Xor said. “But no.”

Lonni cut off the communication without being asked.

An hour later, another call came in. This time it was from a Count.

Chief Scientist Xor did not look up from the aphrodisiac he was implanting into a bed slave. “Good afternoon, Count.”

“Chief Scientist Xor, I want those Warbots for my personal guard,” the Count said. “This time I have an offer you won’t refuse.”

Chief Scientist Xor didn’t bother to argue. “Make your offer.”

“I have imported four concubines from the Kisa system,” the Count proclaimed. “Each one of them highly trained in the arts of science, poetry, dancing and sex.”

“I will have to decline your lovely offer,” Chief Scientist Xor said.

“I will throw in five hundred blood rubies!” the Count yelled.

“Again, very generous but I will decline,” Chief Scientist Xor said.

“Gods damn you!” the Count said. “I must have those Warbots! You may have my wife as well.”

“Give the Countess my regards, but no,” Chief Scientist Xor said.

“Would you rather have my son?” the Count offered.

Lonni cut off the transmission. Chief Scientist Xor went back to work.

“Sir?” Lonni asked.

“Another call?” Chief Scientist Xor asked.

“No sir. May I make a suggestion?”

“Certainly.”

“Five hundred blood rubies could buy me a cloned body,” Lonni said. “I could live again.”

“And you would grow old again,” Chief Scientist Xor said. “No, I like you the way you are. Now go back to those biotoxin calculations I asked you to do.”

“Yes sir,” Lonni said.

That night, Queen Erishella came to visit him herself. The Queen was wearing a gown of green straps across her body. Each strap was a few inches away from the next, allowing layered peeks of her magnificent body. Her full breasts were bound together with a single strap across her nipples. A strap above her dark bush of pubic hair seemed to highlight her sex rather than conceal it. Green straps held her long black hair in a tower of glory. Even her boots were straps that held the eight inch heels to the soles of her feet.

“My Queen,” Chief Scientist Xor said as he bowed.

Queen Erishella acknowledged him with a slight tilt of her head. “Report on the plasma upgrades.”

“The flesh melting setting is 80 percent faster, my Queen.”

“And the new Warbots I wanted?”

“The killing algorithms will now compensate for sexually pleasing targets and will capture instead of kill.”

“And how many bribes did you refuse today, my loyal Chief Scientist?”

Lonni answered for him. “Two, although one bribe was increased to three higher levels for a total of four.”

“Four bribes?” Queen Erishella said. “And did you refuse them?”

“Of course,” Chief Scientist Xor said. He was breathing hard.

Queen Erishella laughed. “I remember a time when you were not so loyal. Grandfather always suspected you gave our shield technology to the Lion People. Father was almost certain you sold the secrets of our robotics to the Wine Worlds. They both felt that they needed you too much to punish you, isn’t that right?”

“I have always been valued for my worth,” Chief Scientist Xor said carefully.

Queen Erishella smiled. She backhanded the old man and sent him spinning into his desk. A swift kick to his legs dropped him to the ground. He banged his head hard on the floor but it was her foot on his neck that was causing him to see stars. Her sharp heel was pressing into his jugular.

“Open your pants,” Queen Erishella said.

Chief Scientist Xor obeyed. He unzipped and released the large young cock he had surgically grafted to himself.

“You may stroke yourself,” Queen Erishella said.

“Thank you, my Queen!” he said. He used both hands and pumped his cock with fevered excitement.

“But you don’t accept bribes anymore, do you?” Queen Erishella said.

“No, my Queen!” he said.

“Because I know what your price really is,” the wise queen said. “I know what you secretly crave, don’t I?”

Queen Erishella pressed down with her foot. Chief Scientist Xor choked but kept stroking. “Please, my Queen!”

The Queen waited thirty seconds.

“You may climax,” she graciously said.

The young cock exploded in his hands. His tribute shot into the air. Xor was careful to make sure none of it landed on the Queen. He didn’t want to repeat THAT punishment.

“Glory to the Queen,” he gasped.

Queen Erishella stepped off of his throat. “Keep up the good work. I will return when you finish the prototype for the freezing whip I asked you for.

Chief Scientist Xor rolled over and kissed the Queen’s foot. “Yes, my majesty.”

Queen Erishella left his laboratory. Chief Scientist Xor picked himself up and zipped his pants back up. He touched his throat where she had pinned him.

“Lonni, let’s get to work. Pull up the designs for the ice dagger I made. Perhaps we can use that as a starting point.”

Because she knew how to reward him, Chief Scientist Xor went back to work.

League of Extraordinary Pornographers: Episode 31

"Who the fuck cares about a sex blogger?" the Midnight Cock said.

This is why I don't like dealing with the fucker. Supernatural rapists don't have to be half the asshole that the Midnight Cock was.

"We think the Secret Censors of Atlantis are eliminating sex bloggers," I said. "If the Secret Censors are up to something, then we need to find out what it is."

We were standing outside the house of Kim Johansen, known to the internet as Vibrated Chick. It was a normal looking suburban house in a normal looking suburban neighborhood. Vibrated Chick would be horrified to learn that we discovered her true address so easily but that is what makes us Extraordinary Pornographers.

"She's a skanky sextoy reviewer," the Midnight Cock said. "If they want her they can have her."

I knocked on the door. "All sex bloggers have value," I said. "Sextoy reviewers help fight the impression that only perverts use sextoys. They create an atmosphere of sexual normalcy."

"They are whores for free toys," the Midnight Cock said. "And in case you didn't notice spunk-for-brains, the door is unlocked."

I didn't notice because I don't have the same powers that the Midnight Cock did. I couldn't tell if a door is unlocked or if a husband was gone for the day. I tried the door and it the swung open.

A scene of horror awaited us. Vibration Chick was face down on the floor. Her clothes had been ripped from her body and she was being held down by five Squid-men. The horrible henchmen of the Secret Censors of Atlantis were jamming something slimy into her ass. The thing looked like some kind of spiky sea urchin. The Squid-men looked up at us in surprise.

The smell of pre-cum hit my nose. The room hallway darkened.

"You should go," the Midnight Cock growled. "This is going to get messy." All of the petty snark was gone from his voice. He was angry. He was furious. He was aroused.

The Midnight Cock ran at them. "That bitch is one of us!" he yelled as he raped them.

Final Push

This coming week I plan to finish the manuscript for 'Prisoner of the Wizard's Harem'. I am gripped with fear and anxiety. When I post a normal story on my blog, I can fix any errors that readers point out. When I make a book for people to purchase I really don't want to have any errors that makes people regret spending money.

Compounding that fear is the fact that is no ordinary book. There are 320 choices with 320 entries to go to. If you are fucking a Vampire and need to turn to entry 120, it shouldn't talk about the sex you are having with a Mermaid. That was am actual error that was discovered. My playtesters sent me a bunch of errors and when I did the Great Choice Mapping on paper, I found about a dozen more. I did a second Great Choice Mapping expecting it to be flawless and I found four errors. The damn thing should be perfect now but I have this nagging suspicion that it isn't.

I also need to format it for publishing. When printed it out I realized that page numbers of some sort would be awesome. A lot of the entries are a single paragraph, so when you turn to a choice, you don't turn to that page. You turn to that numbered entry. A page could have as few as one entry on it or up to five. I need to make headers for the pages so that when you are looking for choice 221, you can flip and scan the top corner of the pages instead of the page itself.

And because I am a literary masochist I am going to have a character sheet inside the book for you to photocopy. I suspect that like me, many of you will just use a scrap of notebook paper to keep track of your loot and sex but hey, I want to do this right.

I don't have exact notes handy but I estimate I have spent over 6 months working on this damn thing. In a lot of ways this has become my defining work for who I am right now. Sex, fantasy, humor, sarcasm, gruesome deaths and fucked up ideas are all in this book. That is pure Shon Richards right there. I just want to get it right.

Fiction: The Snow Beast

Nash Nighthammer shivered. He didn’t think he would ever be warm again. He was wrapped in two fur coats and his balls were still withdrawn into somewhere around his lungs. His gloved hands ached as he carried his warhammer. The snow kept falling and he could feel his body grow colder with every snowflake.

He examined the ground for tracks. For two weeks he had been hunting the dreaded Snow Beast. Every year, the Snow Beast was spawned from the cold winds of winter and haunted the caravan routes of Death Pass. Every winter, the Snow Beast killed hundreds of the merchants as they tried to get through the mountains. Every year, a new hero comes out here and kills the Snow Beast. Every year the hero’s name is carved onto the stone monument of deeds and the merchants reward him with gold. This year, Nash Nighthammer vowed to make his name carved.

Something moved to his right. He spun around and brought his warhammer to up. The wind whipped faster and brought a flurry of white before his eyes. He squinted into the white and tried to see the Snow Beast.

He saw a woman. She was naked except for a white fur cloak. Her body was as blue as the sky. From her full breasts to her long legs, her skin was a deep shade of blue. The only color was a patch of white pubic hair between her legs.

Nash shook his head in confusion. He looked again and she was gone.

“All-Mother protect me,” he whispered. He had heard of people becoming snow crazy, but he thought that only happened to weak people. Nash was a hero. His shoulders were broad and his arms were thick with muscles. The power of his legs once kicked down an entire house. Yet despite all of his strength, he worried that his mind would not be as strong.

A day later he found the Snow Beast. Nash came across a wrecked caravan with frozen corpses. He was checking for survivors when a shadow passed over the sun and darkened the area.

It was the Snow Beast. It towered twenty feet in the sky. The color of bloody snow, its body was massive. The snarling face was like a wolf with glowing red eyes. The snow made it hard to see but the wickedly long claws gleamed with evil sharpness.

It sliced the ground where Nash had been standing. The powerful hero had dodged the giant claws by inches. Nash let out a cry and swung his warhammer. Thirty pounds of steel slammed into the Snow Beast.

It was like hammering a mountain. Nash stumbled back from the halted momentum. Despair gripped his heart but he banished it. He would just have to swing harder.

The Snow Beast roared with the force of a hundred wind storms. Nash fell back from the onslaught of snow. The Snow Beast struck with its claws and Nash blocked it with his warhammer. The Snow Beast struck again and again and Nash blocked every blow, even though each time he did, his arms ached from the tremendous force he was stopping.

Another roar from the Snow Beast was answered by the mountains. An avalanche descended upon them. The thunder of the avalanche drowned out the Snow Beast’s cries as it stampeded onto them.

Nash ran. Not even a hero can stop nature. He ran as fast as he could towards a ridge of stone for shelter. He didn’t know if the Snow Beast could survive an avalanche. He didn’t plan to stick around and find out.

As he ran, he saw the woman again. She was by the shelter he was running for. Her white fur cloak had hid her but she rose as Nash came closer. Once again he saw her magnificent voluptuous body that should not be exposed to the elements like that. Once again he saw the unnatural blue of her body that spoke of magic and cold.

She turned and ran as he called out to her.

Nash reached the outcropping seconds ahead of the avalanche. The heavy snow pounded around him, obliterating everything in its way. He looked for the blue woman, but he saw her not. Then again, he couldn’t see anything in the fury of the avalanche.

When it was over Nash pulled himself out of the snow. He was shaking with cold but he was alive. All around him there were no traces of the Snow Beast or the ruined caravan.

He didn’t see the blue woman anywhere.

The next day he searched and couldn’t find his prey. He did however find a cave and he decided to use it as a shelter for the night. The cave was freezing cold but it was out of the wind. Nash built a fire and ate his rations of salted beef.

His mood was dark and unhappy. He wanted to join the list of legends. He wanted to slay the evil of the Snow Beast. He wanted to know more about the blue woman.

That night he dreamed of being touched. He dreamed he was in a warm inn and that a barmaid was fondling his cock. In his dreams, he sweated and he groaned as he was brought to climax.

Nash awoke to a dead fire. His seed had spilled itself inside his pants. What was stranger was that Nash realized he really was sweating.

He walked outside the cave. In the snow was an outline where someone had laid. He bent down and ran his hand among the impression. He traced the deep valley of where the breasts had pushed. He followed the curve of the hips and smiled as he watched how far the outline of the legs stretched. Nash stood back up and felt a little better. Hallucinations don’t usually leave such fine craters.

His smile was gone by midday. Nash wasn’t able to find the Snow Beast but the cunning monster had found him. The wind was the ally of the Snow Beast; blinding Nash and cloaking the roar of the creature with the fury of the storm. Nash only knew of the Snow Beast’s arrival when foot long claws ripped the fur and flesh from Nash’s back.

Nash Nighthammer held back his scream of pain. He did not hold back his anger as he attacked the Snow Beast with his warhammer. The explosion of rage powered Nash into a ferocious attack on the cursed monster.

For an hour they fought. Warhammer rang against supernatural claws. The roar of Snow Beast was matched by the roar of a warrior born. Blood and sweat fell on the snow from both opponents.

In the end, Nash slipped on a splash of blood. As he fell, the Snow Beast struck and pierced his chest. Nash gasped and passed out.

The Snow Beast, wounded and exhausted, left him for dead.

Nash bled on the snow. At one point he awoke to a tremendous pressure on his chest. Later, he awoke to a strange sensation of being dragged. He opened his eyes and saw the sky move slowly above him. He passed out and dreamed of fire and ice.

Nash awoke back in the cave. He felt his chest and a strip of fur was over his wound. Someone had bound his injury and did a damn good job of it.

She sat across from him in the cold cave. Her blue skin nearly glowed in the darkness. Her cloak was around her shoulders, and he saw that her white hair was cut short around her face. It was a warrior’s haircut.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Ki-ka,” the blue woman said.

“I am Nash Nighthammer,” he said.

She tilted her head. “Pu tul needok?”

Nash laughed. His chest hurt and he stopped. “I doubt we understand each other, but I am grateful to you.”

He shivered and noticed the fire was out. He groaned as he sat up. The blue woman watched him passively until he started to rub two sticks together.

“Neda!” she cried as she jumped up. She was obviously afraid of what he was doing.

“I am sorry if you are afraid of fire,” Nash said. “But I am cold. Understand cold?” Nash mimed the act of shivering. It wasn’t hard to act out as cold as he was.

“Kol?” she said.

Nash nodded and shivered again, this time for real.

The blue woman reached out and touched Nash’s hand. She gripped his fingers and touched them with curiosity.

Nash sighed at her touch. She was warm! No, she was almost feverishly hot to the touch. He touched her arm, and it was just as hot. They looked at each other with mutual curiosity. His fingers roamed her body while she did the same to him. She felt the cold of his chest while he felt the heat of her shoulders. She gripped the cold of his thighs while he traced the heat of her lips. She reached into his pants and felt the cold of his cock. Nash cupped her breasts and enjoyed the blazing warmth of her nipples.

“You have touched me here before, haven’t you?” he asked.

“Fek,” the blue woman groaned. Her grip around his cock tightened.

“Fek?” he asked.

She smiled. “Fek,” she growled.

The blue woman pushed him back down onto the fur bedroll. He was surprised by the strength of her push, but then again he wasn’t really resisting. She crawled on top of him with her wonderfully warm body. Her soft full breasts pressed against his chest and Nash moaned from the healing heat. Hot legs rubbed against his cold legs and Nash grabbed her buttocks as pulled her tighter. Every inch of her was life giving warmth.

She grabbed his face and kissed him. It was a rough kiss, full of passion and need. Her burning lips smashed against his while her molten snake of a tongue invaded his mouth. She took his mouth and Nash welcomed her desire. After weeks in the dead snow, the blue woman’s need was a welcome reminder of what it means to be alive.

When she broke their kiss, Nash gasped for breathe. The blue woman ground against him, the trickle of her desire smearing onto his cock. She looked down on him, her full blue breasts hanging before him.

“Fek,” she said.

“Fek,” he answered back.

She reached down and guided his cock into her. Nash growled as the furnace of her cunt embraced him. She was tight, but not a virgin. Nash briefly wondered if there were other blue people, or perhaps other wanderers of these cold wastes. The blue woman clenched down and Nash stopped thinking about such unimportant thoughts and gave into the bliss of the moment.

The blue woman rode him. She bent down low so that she could cover his cold body with hers. Large breasts pushed against Nash’s chest wound and he didn’t care. Powerful thighs straddled his hips as her cunt moved with the unrelenting pace of the wind. Hungry lips burned his cheeks with kisses.

Nash sweated in the cold cave. His body felt warm for the first time in weeks. Liquid fire covered his cock with each thrust. White hair surrounded their faces as they kissed. His hands gripped every curve of her ass as he warmed his palms and fingers on her.

She climaxed in a flood of heat. As her body froze in motion, Nash kept pumping underneath her.

“Fek, ek, fek,” the blue woman moaned.

Nash’s cock erupted in a fountain of lava. His cries were gagged with the blue woman’s tongue.

The exhausted warrior slept. The blue woman lay beside him, warming him against the night.

At one point he awoke to an empty cave. He heard a terrible sound of thunder and avalanches. Still exhausted, he fell back asleep before he could rise.

The next morning he opened his eyes to a fire. It was a nice blazing bonfire of tree branches. Nash was disappointed to be alone but he was appreciative of the thoughtfulness.

That was when he noticed the head of the Snow Beast. It sat beside his bedroll. The terrible eyes were still glowing with winter magic. Some of the teeth were broken from some terrible battle. He recognized the bruise above the right eye where he had smashed it yesterday with his hammer.

Nash frowned. He knew he hadn’t killed the Snow Beast yet here was the head. It must have been the blue woman. She must have killed it for him.

He thought about the monument of deeds and the long list of men who had brought back the head of the Snow Beast. For a moment Nash felt unworthy to have his name added but then he realized something. The merchants didn’t care how the Snow Beast died. The men who would not be killed by the monster didn’t care how it came to an end.

No one had to know how he earned the head of the Snow Beast.

Nash picked up his payment and packed his supplies. He waited for the blue woman but he didn’t see her. He had a feeling that she had what she came for.

He began the long walk home.

Inspiration

Sandra Jusino paints plates. She also paints sea shells, canvases, masks and about anything else she can get her hands on. The lovely plate to the left is my latest treasure from her and I am tickled to death to have it in my possession.

In 2008, my wife and I went to Old San Juan in Puerto Rico. We browsed hundreds of little stores and dozens of wonderful restaurants. At one point we were in a bookstore that was decorated with the most colorful and sensual paintings. For once, I ignored the books and just stared at the paintings. I loved them. Almost all of them depicted a forest scene of some kind where the trees and the human shapes were one and the same. I felt like I was looking at dryads as would really be.

I asked my wife to ask the manager where he got the paintings. I had my notebook out ready to take down the name so I can look it up online. She asked him in Spanish and he pointed out the door. She turned to me and said the artist had a shop literally across the street.

I headed over there and it was like walking into a wonderland. Art was everywhere in this tiny shop. Masks lined the walls. Gorgeous paintings covered every inch. Little figurines were sprinkled about. Jewelry, musical instruments and anything else you could think of was painted with the same sense of wonderful colors.

The artists, Sandra, was there with her daughter. Sandra and my wife spoke in Spanish as Sandra showed off her work. I could barely understand the language but I recognized the passion that artists and writers have. She loves her pieces and when we made our selections, she took a picture of us with our new acquisitions so she would have a momento of where her piece was now.

We bought a coconut shell that depicts a forest of sensual power. It hangs in our bedroom and I love it. I always meant to write about her but it was difficult to put into words what effect her arts has on me. It is sexy, sure, but it is also very magical. I write about magic and science fiction all the time, but deep down I have a personal vision of magic and her art is the closest to that internal vision. It is beautiful, sexy, natural and a little scary.

This year I couldn't wait to go back to her store. My wife and I walked in and Sandra got very excited. She had remembered us and was delighted to see us again. We toured the store and I was stunned to see how different everything was. She still drew trees and women but she had added medusas, flowers and mermaids. I am amazed by her output.

She could speak some English and I asked her why she painted Medusas.

"Because I always have these ideas squirming around in my head all the time and I can never paint them all. The Medusa is me."

Well damn. That is the best description I have heard of what it is like to be creative. I feel that way all the time and I thought of it as a lack of focus but any more.

Sandra had branched into drawing mermaid eyes on seashells and my wife snatched one up. I wanted the plate because it is just beautiful. We both bought a lovely beach painting and Sandra showed us some pictures of her at the beach painting it while everyone else was in the water.

Which brings me to something Sandra said. She said her daughter was complaining that Sandra is always painting and never takes a day off or a vacation. Sandra felt it was silly to take a break from something she loves doing. She loves to paint and takes her brushes everywhere.

I smiled at that because this entire vacation, I had been making notes for my next book. That book hadn't left my side the whole trip and I did wonder if maybe I should take a break. Heck no, it is what I love.

I expressed to her how much her work inspired me and she was genuinely shocked I think. She says so many tourists come in and barely give her work a second glance. I find that to be a crime but you know, it happens. What inspires me is that Sandra says she would keep painting if no one ever bought her work again. That is something I need to know. I need to know that real artists and writers never quit.

She has a website gallery but her Facebook has more pictures.

Still Alive

I am back from Puerto Rico and incredibly lazy. After a few days of staring at a beautiful beach I find it very hard to do anything but write and eat. I will give you a real post on Monday, I swear it.

In the meantime, posting has begun on my other blog, 'Still Alive'. Thrill to the daily adventures of a man trapped in Atlanta during a zombie crisis. It is not non-erotica but still for adults due to violence, cursing and wishing he would get laid. Come to think of it there is a shitload of cursing. Probably not safe for work in any shape or form.

And yes, it will post daily. I know you find that hard to believe considering I barely update this blog three times a week but trust me. 'Still Alive' will post daily till its conclusion.

So please check it out and tell all your friends. You know how much I suck at self marketing. Spread the word and enjoy my dip into horror.