Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Brenda McKean

College sucked. I had no idea how sheltered and controlling my childhood was until I went to college. Everything I knew about college came from H.P. Lovecraft and B-movies. It was a reality shock in so many ways I can't even begin to describe. It didn't help that I had the Roommate From Hell, a pot smoking rich kid who was sleeping with a gorgeous blonde that he didn't like. I thought the only kids who went to college were nerds like me.

It also didn't help that my finacial aid was in limbo for 80% of the semester. When my aid did come in, my mother was pestering me for a cut of the money. There were days where I just dreamed of pizza like most boys dream of the Swedish Bikini Team.

So college sucked. I got married and worked in the same college town that I had so many unhappy experiences. I lived in an apartment building that had mostly college students. Years after I was done with college, I was still soaking in that enviroment.

Brenda McKean was a wish fufillment story. I wished that instead of running into spoiled potheads that I had ran into some sort of group that would have taken me under their wing. In a way, I wanted substitute parents. Since my own parents were more interested in my finacial aid than they were in me, I wish I had a group that would have shown me the ropes, taught me basic social skills and made me feel less like a freak.

I had this idea of a secret society that would take nerds in and give them sexual adventures beyond their imagination. I made her a female student because I like female characters and quite a few female readers said I wrote beleivable female characters. On a more selfish note, female writers were known for getting many times the fan mail that a male writer gets. Since this story was important to me, I really wanted to get some input. I created a female identity to get fan mail and to create another myth like Arthur G. Thomas.

The actual story was called "The Secret League of U.T." Get it? Get it? Oh I am being so dirty. The initials spell SLUT, a word that I had begun to percieve as a positive reclaiming of sexual identity rather than an insult. Here's a sad secret: I had no idea what U.T. stood for. I hoped I would figure it out sometime.

The biggest problem the series faced was my conflicting interests. I wanted to tell a story about a nerdy girl who joins a special sorority. There are some elements of sororities that are very submissive and those elements fascinated me. Brenda has to push herself to prove she is worthy, yet also do exhibitionistic things to get her out of her shell. As much as I was interested in elevating Brenda, I was also just as interested in the domination aspects of the story. As a writer, I know now that you really can't write anything unless you do it with a clarity of purpose. Brenda's story was trying too hard to satisfy too many of my own goals.

As for the fan mail, well that was certainly an experience. Because Brenda came across as submissive and naive, the majority of my fan mail was from men who desperately wanted to train her to be their naive submissive. I wasn't getting fan mail, I was getting offers.

One type of fan popped up over and over again. The man would decimate my story and point out every typo, bad sentence structure and any other error he could imagine. Then they would offer to be my mentor and editor. This was also followed by questions about my personal life and an insistence that I anwser them right away. The e-mails would piss me off so I had a rule that I would wait 24 hours before responding. The interesting result of this was that the 'fan' would write an angry follow up letter berating me for not responding. Now, it's now like I didn't respond for a week. Some of these angry follow ups would be within the hour! These angry stalkers would then escalate into threats and ultimatiums.

Instead of increased dialogue about my story, having a female alias just generated stalkers. Interesting side note, the female stalkers were about 30% of the stalker total. Of course they could have been men for all I know.

The series ended after only three chapters. The stalkers who would tear down everything I wrote and then expect my submission really burned me out. I also ran into a problem where I felt like I just couldn't write about a woman coming of age since I am you know, a guy. Looking back now it seems painfully obvious that I should have made a male character and I would have been able to write a whole book on the subject. Funny what you learn as a writer.

Here are the links to the story chapters-
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.sex.stories/msg/c7f974fccc68d44a?output=gplain

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.sex.stories/msg/471620dd6f55a43e?output=gplain

http://groups-beta.google.com/group/alt.sex.stories/msg/e3822ebe726fce65?output=gplain

I will be using elements from the story in my new Society stories. I have already used the Evil Roommate in a book I wrote about another college girl. The Wet T-shirt contest was recycled and expanded in another Coming of Slut story of mine. The most important thing I learned from Brenda was that the story of a Secret Society can not be told from the point of view of one gender, much less one person.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Girls-R-Fun

My wife blew out her knee. Dayum. I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of inspiration out of this.

We drove to a new part of Atlanta to find a place that sells leg braces. It was a rather unremarkable collection of streets except for one erotic strip club I saw. The ratty sign said "Girls . . . .ATM". Well, that is eye catching. The actual club looked like a converted strip mall bar. The whole building looked decrepit.

What caught my eye though was the name of the bar. "Girls-R-Fun". Wow, that's kind of nice. It wasn't some lame dirty pun, or outright dirty name. It was a simple statement that girls are fun. That sounds friendly. It wasn't luring me in with body parts, it was implying that we might play a few card games, sing karoke and hang out. It might be a total lie, but I appreciate the effort in the club name.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Secret Alias

It occurred to me that it might be a good time to write down just why exactly I wrote under other names.

Arthur Thomas http://www.asstr.org/~ArthurThomas/ was a strange exploration in my own acceptance of domination fiction. I had toyed with S/M in my stories, but usually as from a comedy angle. I wrote about it like it was a joke, or with silly characters so i could distance myself from the stories. It's weird but true, I had hang ups.

One day I was in a Taxi and the driver was bitching about her night job. At night she drove a limousine. I laughed. A limousine in this small crappy college town? I asked her who rented it, and she responded that it was college guys. I asked why in the world would college guys need a limo and she looked at me like I was stupid. To cruise the bar streets and pick up girls of course!

I thought it was the height of stupidity. Cruising just in the HOPE of picking up girls? What girl would actually get in a limo with strangers? My slow brain finally figured it out; girls who are hoping to hook up with rich guys.

The idea boiled around in my head for a few days. On the one hand, I was appalled that hiring a limo seemed to work as a pick up line. It just seemed so lame to rent a limo to pretend you were rich. On the other hand, I wondered about those cheap easy girls who hopped into strange limos. If they ever did run into a guy with money, how easy would they be?

That's when I remembered the Million Dollar Man. Ted Dibiase was a wrestler in the 80's who had one gimmick. He was rich. Fans hated him and they hated how he would talk trash to them as if they were poor white trash. Ted would do this same thing week after week and the fans never stopped hating him for it. He would pick some guy out of the audience, bad mouth him, and make him do something like kiss his feet for a hundred dollars. Almost always the fan would do it.

See where this is going?

So I had this idea of a Millionaire Pervert. He'd go around buying sexual favors and humiliating people. It's pretty mean and debasing but I couldn't let go of the idea. Mostly because the stories I thought of were all domination/humiliation fantasies that I was having at the time. Normally I wouldn't let myself entertain these ideas, but once I thought of a character who would be EVIL, I knew I could write these bad stories guilt free.

Well, not entirely guilt free hence the alias. Arthur G. Thomas was not only a name for my ashamed of desires, but he also became the brand name so to speak. I liked the idea of a evil pervert who would share these stories under the guise of rubbing in how weak everyone else is. As a role-player it was also just fun. I slid into his mind and created a nice tiny world for him.

Arthur got fan mail that I never did. Arthur got kinky perverse fanmail from women who not only liked the bastard, but wanted to be used by the bastard. Arthur had a story website before I did because women offered to make it for him. That blew my mind. Through e-mail with them, I discovered that hey, there can be women who like to be humiliated and used if done so by someone they wanted to be used by.

I came up with an ongoing story for Arthur where he took on a wife. This was a woman who sold herself to him because she thought it would be easy. I enjoyed writing it at first but it spun out of my control. As a writer, I tried too hard to make Arthur evil as oppossed to entertaining. The more I tried to protray Arthur as evil, the more I skirted closer to simple spousal abuse stories. Heck, I learned a lot about spousal abuse from writing those stories. I had to quit writing them because I had made a huge break through in thinking of domination as not evil; but here I am writing about a character that if he was to stay consistant, had to be evil.

Looking at some of the stories, I am just embarrassed. 'Blowjob' and 'Nude Photos' are okay, but the other stories read like I was flipping through a sex manual trying to assign prices to sex acts. That's what happens when you are trying to explore yourself, but you make yourself stick to a formula. One story I did like is not on my old website and you can find it here http://www.asstr.org/files/Collections/Alt.Sex.Stories.Moderated/Year2002/34465?textonly=Text+Only Funny side note, I sent that story to a fellow writer who was intrigued by a hint I dropped that I had another writer name. After I sent this story, she never talked to me again.

Before I close the book on Arthur, I would like to stress a few things I thought I did right with him. One, he was a jerk and he knew it. Too many of the Dom erotica I was reading spent so much time justifying what they did. Arthur was an ass.

Another thing I liked about him was that he had a severe sexual hang up. He could only really get aroused if he knew the other person was humiliating themselves. It made him a pitiful character. Not sympathetic, just pitiful. I find it odd that erotica doms are so lacking in outright hang ups.

Next time, I'll discuss Brenda Mckean and the Secret League of U.T.

Bigger Keyboards

I'm reading Ray Bradbury's 'Let's All Kill Constance' and there is an interesting devolpment that has made the 160 odd pages of boredom seem worth it. An actress from the 30's did an unusual thing to keep acting. Since Hollywood even then was looking for the Hot New Thing, Constance would reinvent herself every year. She didn't pull a Madonna where she got a haircut and a new religon. Constance would undergo a Lon Cheny transformation, get a new name, new mannerisms and pretend to be another actress she created. It's like what vampires do when they pretend to die and show up six months later as their 'son', except Constance was doing this every year. Fucking brilliant.

Porn does something similar. When a porn actress is no longer the Hot New Thing, they do some plastic surgery to make them the Hot New Big Boob Girl. If you watch porn for four years, your favorite hot lady will either retire or get really big boobs. It's the closest a porn star can come to reinventing herself and don't ask me why, but it works. I wonder if there is a second teir of porn watchers who only get aroused when the female no longer resembles a human? Why else would Ashlyn Gere do what she did to herself? http://www.ashlyn.com/

Anyhoo, it got me wondering about erotica writers. I have watched them come and go. I have a few ideas about why they leave, but I was wondering if there is a reinvention process for old erotica writers. Some of us just create new identities which on the Internet, is terribly easy. I've been Arthur Thomas, Purple Herald and once for a few weeks, Brenda Mckean. Each new identity allowed me to shed the stories associated with my old names and start fresh. Internet Erotica is odd in that people associate authors with stories in such a brand loyalty way that if you ever write one story outside their interests, they will stop reading your stories. You're their porn pimp and damn it, if you give them a black girl one week, they'll live in fear that you're blacking their porn from here on out.

Other than creating new identities, I am speculating on what else an Internet Porn Writer can do to renew interest in themselves and yet bring in readers who know the writer, and stopped reading their stuff. Brag about the creative writing course you took? Show pictures of your new deluxe keyboard?

Thursday, May 19, 2005

What a Society Needs

A Secret Society should have a guy in charge of marketing. This is the guy who has to drum up money to fund the Society, improve the Society's marketshare of sluts and keep the society afloat.

Other Societies concern themslelves solely with recruitment. They have elaborate plans to gather more slaves. I plan to have that too, but the fact that other erotica has beaten the subject to death makes me less eager to throw in my version.

So the guy I have in mind is more of a marketing guy. He designs the brochure that they give new hopefuls. He 'somehow' competes with other Societies to get the best talent. Perhaps he also hits up the rich and gets donations for Society funding. Goddess, that would be a sucky job but I'm intrigued. All I know for sure is that this guy gets paid by commision. Sexy.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Out This Week

Frank Gorshin, who played the 'Riddler' in the Batman series, passed away today.

I know it was a one in seven chance, but how weird is it that he passed away on new comics day?

As much as I loved Frank's Riddler, let me praise a little known other role he had. He was some sort of Time Villain on 'Black Scorpion'.

Ah Black Scorpion. It was first a cheesy sex/action movie by Roger Corman. Then it morphed into a weird sexy stupid superhero series on Sci-fi channel starring the delicious Michele Lintel. How much emphasis did they put on sex? Well, seventeen Playboy Playmates played villians on the show. It also featured stock scenes from other movies for their car chases. It was cheaply made, dumb and spent way too much time creating new and exciting cleavage shots. I loved it.

One episode featured Frank playing a bad guy who was put in jail for a very very very long time. So long in fact, he became obsessed with time and learned how to manipulate it. WTF? Despite this premise that wouldn't make sense for 4 seconds, Frank acted his heart out for a full hour. Now, I have suspended belief so that Lisa Boyle could be believable as a scientist with a stone ray, but my head hurt afterwards. Frank made his character so interesting and so engrossing that you not only beleived, you had fun.

So I salute Frank Gorshin, because anyone who can elevate a sexplotation series to real drama, is a better actor than most.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Lovely Art

http://www.sexartbymister.com/gallery.htm

There is something to be said for curves in art. I see images like these and it reminds me of early men scribbling in their caves and trying to share just how awesome a pair of boobs and wide hips can be.

Ten Little Submissives

When I was a child, my parents watched a lot of horror movies. Granted, they watched them on network TV so they weren't gory but the tension certainly still gave me nightmares. I hated all of them except for one movie that I loved so much, that I replayed it over and over again with my action figures. That movie was Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians.

As a kid I loved the battle of wits. Someone, a member of the group, was killing the others. They weren't killing them bluntly, like with a gun over and over again. No, they had a special method to kill each one that tied in with a children's song. It was morbid but man, it really proved the killer was smarter than them. He had made up rules for himself and the victims could escape if they could just figure everything out. It was a riddle with deadly consequences.

In the movies I saw, the final two victims somehow figure out who the killer is and defeat him. In the book though, the killer wins. Reading that book as a twelve year old really shocked me. The killer wins? What the-?

Why am I bringing all this up? Because this past weekend it dawned on me that 'Ten Little Indians' is a Dom fantasy. One man controlling nine others. It disturbs me to find yet another link between horror and domination but at the same time it reminds me how much being a dom soaks into every part of my life. Being a Dom is socially unacceptable unless you are a Church Leader, so it's no suprise that the only places I can find Dom characters are in stories about unacceptable people like killers, dictators and super villains. Sad but true.

It makes me wish there was a sappy 60's era sitcom based on the goofy adventures of a super nice dominat man. Canned laughter and predictable plots would help humanize Doms don't you think?

"Dear, I notice you bought some new rope today at the grocery store."

"Shucks, I was hoping to suprise you when I tied you to the fence outside and fucked your face."

"Oh Bill, you are the best husband a gal like me could hope for."

Monday, May 02, 2005

Look Upon Her Works and Tremble

I was looking at some book reviews on Amazon. One of the reviews caught my eye because it was crammed wtih dense language that I still can't be sure what her point was. I was also struck by the sweeping arrogance the reviewer had as she explained how this book would place in History ages from now.

Then I noticed a link that said "Read my other reviews"

I had to.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A13WA7OFJRQMOY/ref=cm_aya_rev_all/104-1454925-0551917

I don't know this lady. I can't pretend to rate her as a reviewer but I am fascinated by her book choices. Politics, Feminism, Philosphy and Why Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office are all reviewed by Ross. The woman is a force to be reckoned with, with insghts and powers far greater than normal men. You might think I am making fun of her, but as a writer, I am in awe of her ability to write many book reviews where she doesn't review the book as much as she reviews her own personal opinion on why the world needs to get it's act together.

Some highlights,

Commenting on "Who Stole Feminism?: How Women Have Betrayed Women", Ross cites the plot from "The Bodyguard" as proof for her point.

Commenting on "How to Make Apple Pie and See the World" Ross says, "The long undervalued but much touted apple pie (even without the ice cream, ala mode) represents the finest of lessons in health for human kind but one which would never come from the Bible because baking and the utensils of kitchens, nor the trading routes and processes to cultivate the ingregients of apple pies was present at the time the Bible was written. "

Commenting on "Beauty and the Beast: And Other French Fairy Tales", Ross grants us this insight on the book-

If I was a betting person, I would bet that this oft told story was the result of a middle aged or older man who was seeking a method of introducing the concept that the troll like features of old age need not discount the nature of the love and affection required to be felt by such persons who prefer the company of fair maidens who might be seduced into giving them that pleasure. Having the ear marks of the fantasy like prominence of isolation and illusion that accompanies old age, and the unlikelihood that such a worn out vision of masculinity might have appeal for the flower of youth, the mind of man can be very cunning, and is often very seductive while preying upon the naive, softhearts of the dew that lies in the hearts of young maidens, fair or not. Drawn in to the care taker role of a kindly, parent-like figure, however disfigured by the ideal model of the Prince that young maidens are taught to favor, the marketing has worked for some years as we can see by the recent wedding of Jack Welch from the much touted, and idealized wedding of his new fair princess, and can be seen in many other instances of fantasized idealism that grace the covers of many celebrity photo magazines meant to send the message of similar outcomes.

Wow. I used to go random blog fishing but now I might start checking out reviewers for my Odd Bird fix.